Rich Gay White Frat Jocks In New Hampshire Most Likely To Get Wasted

I’m sure that’s drawing too many conclusions from the Department of Health and Human Services’ study on alcohol consumption (which itself is “suspect” since it relies on respondents self-reporting their booze intake), but if gays are drinking 16 percent more than straights, and college students who are both athletes and Greek drink three times as much as other college students, and whites drink 13.9 percent more than blacks, and the rich drink 27.4 percent more than the poor, and New Hampshire residents guzzle more beer than anywhere else, and men drink 11.1 percent more than ladies … well, now I finally know why that University of New Hampshire trust fund hottie was always blitzed.