Oh lord, children. Ru served up a clip show this week. How’m I gonna recap her recap? I had a lot of ideas, all of them bad ones frankly, and then it came to me: FEELINGS. This show is all about feelings. These recaps are all about feelings. Life is all about feelings. So I’m going to tell you all about how the queens make me feel. Maybe you can relate. Also, I’m involving animal gifs because there were no new dresses or wigs to show you. Below, I encapsulate the emotion triggered when thinking about each of the Season 1 queens.
Victoria “Porkchop” Parker
I know her from somewhere. Did I go to high school with her? Is she on Scandal? I know I know her.
Someone must have slipped something in my drink. But, like, a nice something.
Oh shit, she’s got a knife!
I have the weirdest boner right now.
I am giant and unfashionable.
Loving you is difficult. I’m trying.
Boundless joy. I can see through time.
Bebe Zahara Benet
I have found the path to enlightenment. I am at peace.
Wasn’t that fun? Not as fun as a real recap, but then again a highlights reel isn’t as fun as a real episode. Come back next week, I promise I’ll have actual words with which to entertain you all.