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RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: Shade Comes From Reading… Magazines!

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The publishing industry is dying. Crashing. Simply by reading this blog post, you are single-handedly diminishing the circulation of Field & Stream magazine by 3%. But this week, our girls will attempt to save print media by launching their own dragazines.

It’s the type of episode that, as Dida Ritz explains, “separates the intellectual people from the not-so-intellectual people.” And gurl, we start with one of my favorite mini-challenges: It’s time to read some bitches because the library is open!

Sorry, I mean #TheLibraryIsOpen. #HowManyHashtagsCanOneShowHave #SoManyHashtags #HashtagDigitalMarketing

The girls don neon reading glasses and throw their best shade:

* Dida acts shy and awkward but does a passable job, “Jiggly Caliente, you should feel honored. The first contestant in RuPaul’s Drag Race history with child.”

* Jiggly just reuses a joke, “Chad, it’s called Forever 21, not Forever 41.”

* Phi Phi is a stammering disaster, and she manages to compliment Jiggly by “mistakenly” calling her Jujubee.

* Willam reads Chad Michaels for still being on MySpace. And yes, I went looking for her page. And no, I couldn’t find it. (Methinks she took it down because of this incident.) But her current site was built with flash and blasts music upon opening—just as bad as MySpace.

* Latrice Royale continues her staggering command of acronyms by calling Jiggly, “BMW: Body Made Wrong.”

* Chad Michaels threw decent shade, “Jiggly, I love you. Come to Mother Dust, I won’t hurt you. Here’s my dentist’s card—use it.”

* Sharon Needles wins for giving my favorite line, “Jiggly Caliente, you’re such a fat slut, after sex you smoke hams.” But it’s apparently a line from Latter Days. Sigh. Can I un-learn this information? I love the line so much.

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By:           Jason Sweeten
On:           Mar 13, 2012
Tagged: , , ,

  • 18 Comments
    • Mark
      Mark

      Latrice Royale and Sharon Needles are just naturally funny whether in or out of drag. Willam and PhiPhi are painfully bad actors, and I don’t hate them (good for you for being the evil bitch Phi and using Jiggly) but her trying to be funny throwing shade was so cringe worthy and Sharon really stole her thunder (“You need to go to Party City!” -no laugh. “I know, that’s where I got your Gaga wig.” – everybody screams.)

      Mar 13, 2012 at 11:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark
      Mark

      When you think about it, PhiPhi is at her best when she’s not trying to be funny on demand. She flops every time. But her “Yes Jiggly you must be serious” and then “I just told that fool to be serious, let’s help her pack.”. Now that’s gold.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 11:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Abejabi
      Abejabi

      Disappointed that Latrice doesn’t understand marriage equality. That brought her down a few notches in my estimation.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 11:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Curtis
      Curtis

      oooooh, Willam honey.. You got READ for your make up malfunctions.
      Listen to Sharon! (and everyone else)

      Also, Latrice you WERK!
      “Take your hat off bitch, your balding, bitch”
      Love it! Santos aint got nothing on you :)

      Jiggly: Thats it, I quit! (again)
      lmao no need hun.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 12:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris
      Chris

      I don’t see this shadow on William! Maybe because I don’t have HD, but I’ve never noticed it. Anyway, I’m excited for the next episode – the cream of the crop remains. I can’t say I wish Phi Phi well after this sabotage and her bad reading…

      Mar 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DenverBarbie
      DenverBarbie

      When Sharon asked the photographer if he had done porn, he responded that he had some time ago. My friends and I spent the next five minutes googling his name on our smart phones with no results.
      So, someone really ought to beat me at my “Queen of Google” game. It’s just not fair to let those videos float around the SiliconSphere when that body should be in a museum.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DenverBarbie
      DenverBarbie

      Though, rewatching the episode now (much more interesting than work), he might have been joking. That’s a real shame.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • QJ201
      QJ201

      I am SHOCKED that Chad Michaels didn’t repeat a line I learned from her drag mother Hunter.

      It’s called “Cover Girl,” NOT “Cover Boy.”

      Mar 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • condeguy
      condeguy

      so santino was the balding biatch. 5Gs!! team latrice!

      Mar 13, 2012 at 4:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • condeguy
      condeguy

      @Curtis: so santino was the balding biatch. 5Gs!! team latrice!

      Full story here: http://www.queerty.com/rupauls-drag-race-recap-shade-comes-from-reading-magazines-20120313/#ixzz1p23pTaYU

      Mar 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • condeguy
      condeguy

      @condeguy: but only on untucked!

      Mar 13, 2012 at 5:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zephyr with a Z
      zephyr with a Z

      Willam’s problem with applying her makeup was summed up nicely by Sharon during the Untucked…something along the lines of “you wear designer clothes and shoes, and you think you can get away with a foundation that would make a woman’s face sparkle. But you really need to go buy some Duncan Hines!” That was funny. It’s been pretty obvious all season, whatever the color scheme is from her cheeks up but then almost pale white around her mouth, especially under the lights and on the runway. Maybe she really does think she’s on SITC.

      Who cares about Phi Phi acting shadily towards Jiggly, I have a feeling Jiggly would have wanted to do the serious interpretation anyway. I have never seen Ru so emphatic during her walk-throughs, she literally took Jiggly’s arm and asked her to reconsider. But, no. I hope that for acting so bitchy, Phi Phi has some karma heading her way. I still think the final three will be Latrice, Sharon and Chad, but it does seem like most of the ones Carmen would have called the “boogers” are gone now.

      This article was written and proofed very well, Jason – kudos! (Come visit me if you want a present ;-0) The only thing I noticed was the same thing Ru got wrong, the name of Pam Tillis’ song is “Mi Vida Loca”, not “My Vida Loca”. I was a little surprised Pam didn’t correct her, or maybe Ru didn’t let her. She can be a pushy bitch, can’t she? I am still waiting for an episode that brings somebody back, or maybe something like the one last season when Yara and Carmen both got to stay after lip-synching “Mickey” in Spanish. Otherwise, if I remember my subtraction from elementary school, there are only four episodes left, not counting the recap.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 6:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MiguelaShantay
      MiguelaShantay

      Ok Phi Phi was being mad shady yesterday, and it really sucks for Jiggly since, by the looks of it, she really trusted Phi Phi and her opinion. But anyways…..I’m so over Willam having to mention how many shows she’s been in! Ok bitch, S&TC ended 8 years ago, but whatever. I think it’ll either be her or Dida that goes next.

      And can anyone tell me how to get the photographers hair?! I’ve been dying for hair like that since forever but every time I try and get it done it always ends up looking like a mullet that’s been run through the dishwasher :'(

      Mar 13, 2012 at 10:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • goodpa
      goodpa

      Adobe Gods?
      BAHAHAHAHAHHA!

      Mar 14, 2012 at 8:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stevoj
      stevoj

      “Next Week: The episode is titled Frenemies. And Phi Phi gets paired with Sharon. And there’s a lie detector challenge. And Pamela Anderson guest judges. And thank you thank you thank you thank you.”

      no Jason, thank you thank you thank you thank you

      Mar 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • babo
      babo

      @miguelashantay: I want hair like him too! I am actually growing it so it “looks” like that…but my hair is so damn wavy. the american crew site has some good pointers.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 10:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stevoj
      stevoj

      so i just watched untucked and all i could think of was “why is Phi Phi such a bad person?”

      it’s cool she steered Jiggly the wrong way, it’s a competition… shocker

      my heart broke though when Jiggly was trying to be open and honest and Phi Phi had the NERVE to sit there and act as if 1) she genuinely gave a shit about someone else 2) she hadn’t blatantly tried/succeeded in sabotaging the gurl and 3) is some great person of character who “fights” hard for what she wants

      during that whole backstage conversation she should have just shut her damn mouth and sipped her drink

      i agreed completely with Regina King when she said that she felt the only reason Phi Phi’s mag looked good was because everyone else did terrible. this chick has a poor attitude, she paints like an old lady, AND she has no talent. she’s not funny, she doesn’t take criticism well, and acts as if she’s God’s gift to this competition

      Willam may be a bitch but at least she backs it up!?!

      i don’t know about this Phi Phi chick. it’s clear she’s the villain this season and i don’t think the producers/editors had anything to do with it

      she needs to go

      Mar 15, 2012 at 2:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh in OR
      Josh in OR

      If Phi Phi really DOES win, as I heard rumors that she would, I’m done with this show. The last two seasons had winners who were not HALF the queen some of their competition was, and Phi Phi is in the same boat: reasonably pretty, but without a personality and without any of the humor, skill or energy that it takes to be a real Drag Superstar. That said, I will not be surprised to see her make it all the way to the end, simply for the cunt drama (not C.U.N.T, mind you) that she brings to the show…shrill, unlikeable-ass wannabe…

      Mar 15, 2012 at 5:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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