RUSSIAN CRISIS

Russian “Scrubs” Actor Wants Gays Burned Alive; News Anchor Wants us Burned Dead

sochi-russia-olympics-lgbt-america-corporation-sponsorsHey, how are things going for LGBTs over in Russia? Still really really badly? Okay, just checking.

The latest really bad news come from Ivan Okhlobystin, star of the Russian version of Scrubs.

“I’d put them all alive in the oven,” he told fans. “It’s a living danger to my children.” Jesus Christ. So, okay, this guy feels that good parenting requires the adoption of the tactics of Adolph Hitler. That’s so awesome. His kids are lucky to have such a great dad.

We’re really looking forward to hearing how (rumored) Kremlin employee Johnny Weir will spin this as no big deal. “Well, he said he’d put them in the oven, but he didn’t say he’d turn it on,” perhaps?

Okhlobystin’s other great hits include promising to buy weapons for Syria, and also running for president on a campaign of Russian isolationism. Must’ve been a fun guy to work with on-set.

Meanwhile, the Kremlin elevated news anchor Dmitry Kiselyov to a leadership post this week. While not calling for gays to be burned to death, Kiselyov did recommend that gay people’s hearts be posthumously “burned or buried” after we die by other means.

The International Olympic Committee gave Kiselyov’s news agency host agency status to cover the Russian Olympics. Nice work, IOC!

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