Remember that New Jersey school called Rutgers University? The one where gay student Tyler Clementi killed himself because his roommate and his roommate’s friend are (allegedly!) complete mothershits? Well now it’s joining colleges like George Washington University in offering students co-ed housing, eliminating those nasty penis- and vagina-only barriers that most campus residences enforce. For now the gender-neutral housing option is just a pilot program beginning in the fall, with three dorms going blind to what’s between your legs. Officially the change is a way to provide LGBT students with more comfortable living options (like letting gay Joey live with his fag hag Margaret), but straight students should also support it because, hey, ass is ass. How’s it gonna work?
At Rutgers, the pilot program will be limited to Demarest Hall on the College Avenue Campus, New Gibbons on the Douglass Campus and some apartments in Rockoff Hall, a 12-story building in downtown New Brunswick. Students will get into the dorms through the student housing lottery, campus officials said. Then, students will be given the option of naming a roommate of either sex. Parents will not be permitted to veto their children’s roommates. Undergraduates will not be asked to reveal if they are gay. “We’re not asking students their relationships,” said Joan Carbone, the university’s executive director of residence life. “People should not have to declare their sexual preference to us.”
But you probably should to your roommate, because I’d hate to see things get awkward with Margaret once she realizes that no, Joey does not love her back in the same way.