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Gay Rutgers Student Jumped To His Death After 2 Students Broadcast Intimate Encounter Online

It’s not just middle and high school gays killing themselves over bullying from classmates: An 18-year-old Rutgers University student reportedly killed himself after two dormmates broadcast live on the Internet him getting intimate with another guy in his dorm room at the Piscataway, New Jersey campus. (Updates below.)

Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, also 18, are each charged with two counts invasion of privacy for putting the student’s romp on iChat and letting others tune in on Sept. 19, inviting an audience by tweeting about what they were going to do. Ravi tried doing the same thing to the victim again on Sept. 21, claim prosecutors. (In NJ, collecting naked/sexual images without consent is a fourth-degree crime, punishable by up to 18 months in jail or probation; it’s a third-degree crime to distribute those images, which carries up to a five-year sentence)

 

The victim, whose identity is not being released who has been identified as Tyler Clementi, a freshman and talented violist, is suspected of jumping off the George Washington Bridge to his death on Sept. 22. While his car was found near the bridge, with his cell phone and laptop inside and wallet on a nearby sidewalk, no body has been recovered from the Hudson River. Update: On Wednesday night police found a body in the river and are working to identify it.

 

Ravi’s Twitter feed has been disabled (and his Facebook locked down), but this Google Cache version shows what he was up to:

 

Ravi is out on $25,000 bail. Wei — who went to high school with Ravi — was released on her own recognisance (ROR). Rutgers, which ironically this week begins “Project Civility,” a campus-wide campaign to teach tolerance and respect, is staying pretty mum, citing student confidentiality. Garden State Equality chairman Steven Goldstein says Clementi’s death constitutes a hate crime. Says his family in a statement: “Tyler was a fine young man, and a distinguished musician. The family is heartbroken beyond words.”

So congratulations to both of you (alleged) assholes, not just for invading this kid’s privacy, but for potentially outing him to the world — including, perhaps, his family and friends who might have a problem with his sexuality — and sending him to his death.

 

By:           Ryan Tedder
On:           Sep 29, 2010
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
  • 115 Comments
    • whatever
      whatever

      Nobody like going into sexile while your roommate is boinking, but this was going way too far.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pitou
      Pitou

      Does anyone else feel like this whole Country won’t be happy until we’re all dead? From the Tippity-top all the way down the food chain. They think we’re the bottom.

      Someday, some angry Gay is going to walk into a church, or Democratic, or Republican, or Tea Party Headquarters, and open fire. Some bullied Gay kid at school is going to finally show them just how mean someone can be and gun down all of his anti-gay classmates.

      Until this shit-tank we call a Government takes aim at US and OUR protection.. we’re as good as non-existant.

      I must say.. such scenarios are not very unlikely.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • greenluv1322
      greenluv1322

      Okay what’s up with you dudes and killing yourselves because you are gay. Stupid.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tallskin2
      tallskin2

      Jeeez, there seem to be a lot of gay kids killing themselves in the USA.

      Everytime I click on Queerty these days there’s news of some new teenager just having killed himself due to anti-gay bullying.

      Is this because of the f*cking christians in the US???

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • greenluv1322
      greenluv1322

      Lol…closet cases!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sceth
      Sceth

      And here I thought your social circle at University was your second family for whom you’d stake everything. If Rutgers still wants to sift through the talent pool they plenty work to do.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      Totally. I thought young people being bug chasers was stupid, but this takes the cake.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nick Vivion
      Nick Vivion

      Shameful, terrible, and so disgusting that they could only go to jail for 5 years. Makes me sick.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lisa
      Lisa

      QUEERTY you need to put a option of SAD and MAD and get rid of the LOL for stories like this please :(

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      @Nick Vivion: You must know that they won’t see 5 years of jail. My guess: 90 days of a suspended sentence and 1 year of court probation.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sweetnovember
      sweetnovember

      omg, what is wrong with people? How they can violate somebody’s rights and private like that? Nobody wants the whole world looking into his most intimate secrets. Hope they will be jailed for life.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @greenluv1322: They’re not “killing [them]selves because [they] are gay.” They do it because they are treated so badly, and they cannot take it.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ted B.
      Ted B.

      Is it progress that “gay” isn’t a big deal…or a gay-washing cover-up…in that the CBS story omits he was having sex with another guy??

      We also don’t know if he was “outed” by the filming or not. Did he jump due to the betrayal of being filmed having sex, being outed, or both. Interestingly, if convicted of invasion of privacy this might set a criminal-precedent of maliciously outing someone being a punishable-offense.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John K.
      John K.

      @Fitz: Perhaps normally. The fact that the kid killed himself makes the possibility of a stiff jail sentence go up a lot I think.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      @John K.: It’s just a gay person who died. No one gives a flying crap about us.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • adman
      adman

      Straight Americans are the scum of the earth, let it be known. An animal has more of a moral basis for living when compared to them, and irony of ironies, “Gays” are the immoral ones in the popular discourse. I’ve said it before, straight people will steal from you your dignity, and rob you of your rights over a fucking quarter. They are entitled after all, look at the law. And yes, regrettably, I’m talking about your mother and your priest too, so get over it.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      Ted B: You hit the nail on the head. Why is the heterosexual media ignoring the gay part of this story? I heard about this on TV last night, then read My Fox NY this morning. With the gay part left out, it sounds like a couple assholes pulling a lousy stunt.

      Which isn’t quite the case, though, is it? This is a homophobe harassing his roommate to suicide, and quite clearly a hate crime. (I don’t know about you, but I’d rather somebody punch me in the face than give videos of me having sex to everybody I know — and I’m out.)

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Patrick
      Patrick

      Anyone have Ravi’s email or phone number? Let’s turn the tables on the little shit.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • randy
      randy

      It’s actually a good thing that the media hasn’t mention the gay sex part. Dan Savage has just launched a new project “It Gets Better” aimed at convincing gay teens that if their life is hell in high school, they should hold on, because it gets much better once they graduate.

      In this instance, we don’t want them to think, “oh shit, maybe it doesn’t.”

      This is so sad and unnecessary. All these valuable lives lost because people just need to get their rocks off by picking on gays.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DR
      DR

      @Hyhybt:

      Either way, something is wrong. I’m not going to apologize for saying that something is inherently wrong with suicide. Many of us went through this and didn’t kill ourselves as a solution. Where is the support network? How many kids deal with harassment or bullying and *don’t* kill themselves?

      No, it’s never an answer. NEVER.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      @RomanHans: Was it a homophobe? How do you know this? It sounds like he and that chick are just douche kids playing pranks.

      @Ted B.: Yeah, I didn’t hear about it being gay. I just heard about the kid jumping and how 2 kids taped him having sex. I never thought him being gay was a factor. Now, I wonder if he was closeted.

      But we can’t assume that the 2 dirtbags who filmed him knew about the kids closet or whatever else was going on in his psyche.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • greenluv1322
      greenluv1322

      I think killing yourself because you made out with a dude is STUPID. Maybe you all should think about that.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • orinthe
      orinthe

      Are all of you guys kidding? These two don’t seem to be gay-bashers or even particularly homophobic. We’ll never know if they would’ve done the same thing if he had been with a girl instead of a guy, but there’s nothing to specifically indicate that their actions were a result of homophobia. They didn’t assault or kill anyone and almost certainly had no intent to cause serious harm. Yes, the two who broadcast this guy without his knowledge or consent were assholes, violated his privacy, committed a crime and deserve to be punished, but I don’t see any indication that they harassed him until he couldn’t take it anymore. They probably thought of it as a prank, and while it was inexcusable it’s also unlikely they had any idea it could cause a suicidal reaction. Unless it turns out that this guy didn’t jump off the bridge and commit suicide, they’ll have to live the rest of their lives knowing that their actions lead to the death of another human being, and I suspect they are horrified at what happened.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ron
      ron

      Why aren’t gays today stronger? I went through far worse than anything I’ve read online about bullying. It just made me angrier, stronger, and fight back harder. Today, I am the envy of my family and friends with the tallest, hottest husband and best relationship of the bunch. I didn’t have the benefit of the Internet providing me with the entire knowledge and works of mankind. I just knew being gay wasn’t a choice, and that I wasn’t backing down from my desire for hot men. I was quite willing to kill or be killed for my right to fuck who I chose, and most of the other gays I encountered in my youth were tough bitches as well. I am starting to think that gay youth today are spoiled and weak.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Baxter
      Baxter

      I love the first comment on the story this post links to:

      “why is this a crime ?? 20 yrs ago this was the plot of revenge of the nerds.”

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eric Thor
      Eric Thor

      @randy:

      I’m a Gay Rutgers Student myself, and we have an excellent LGBT community.

      This past week there have been non-stop LGBT events on campus we also have several LGBTQQIA student groups. BiGLARU(GSA group), LEGGO(For Queer people of color), the dorm I live in has a floor that has gender neutral bathrooms for transgender students.
      And I’m part of Delta Lambda Phi a fraternity for Gay Bisexual and progressive men.

      There is the opportuinity, and support for any sort of queer student people on campus its just a shame that some people are isolated. My life really sucked during highscool, and now that I’m at Rutgers my life is great! My heart goes out to Tyler, and everyone else who is struggling in high school, college or in life. There is a community, and a safe place out there.

      As I was typing this I got messages from several people already planning a vigil for Tyler.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      @Scott NY’er: Did you read Ravi’s tweets? “I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.” “I dare you to video chat with me. . . . Yes it’s happening again.”

      Do you honestly think if his roommate had been straight, his sex life would have provoked these reactions? No, he’s found out his roommate is gay, and he’s “daring” people to watch.

      Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ravi killed himself, just based on the coverage this story is getting, and speaking as a homosexual who’s seen far too much bullshit recently I’d be thrilled to add a +1 to the other freakin’ team’s scoreboard.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • L'Herbs
      L'Herbs

      What are the possibilities of manslaughter charges? I believe I remember hearing of a case (or several) dealing with cyber-bullying, wherein victims committed suicide but the bullies were successfully brought up on manslaughter charges (obviously not as severe as murder, but still). Am I even remembering that right? If this is the case, what are the possibilities of NJ’s hate-crime laws taking effect? I know they apply in the case of sexual orientation.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • irisgirl
      irisgirl

      These 2 asshole bully hate-crimers are totally responsible for their heinous actions, but I also wonder about their parents—what kind of attitudes did they impart? What did they let these kids get away with in high school?

      I can’t believe this is the 1st time they engaged in gay-bashing or hate-criming or whatever you call it, so I can’t help but wonder about their upbringing—-especially since odds are they are rich kids…………I picture jet-setting, absentee parents with no one to discipline and teach proper morals to the kids…

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mk
      Mk

      Whatever happens with the criminal case, and I do think a harsh punishment is in order, the college should expel these students and put the incident into their permanent records. See if finding another school to attend is possible. As for the culpability of them to the victims death, it may not connect legally but they bear a great deal of responsibility. It is tragic that the guy (may have) taken his own life because of this incident. Who can say what kind of stuff he feared he would have to endure with his family or the world or the level of humiliation that he felt?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
      PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

      This one is such a massive clustefuck that it is hard to wrap the brain around it…………

      Here is my take, Based on scumfucks name Dharun Ravi who plasterd his roomate having sex on ther internets name one would guess he and his roomate were most likely muslim. Based on the insane anti-Gay fevor among that community towards all things Gay the one who commited suicide most likely faced his family disowning him, including loss of financial support. Being that in most of those cases the family conveys to the Gay child they are dead to them (check out the current thread running of the muslim actor who had a Gay scene and his family told him he was dead to them) he in total despair simply decided to end his life. Ravi looks to possess a Gayface. He probably was spurned by his roomate and this was his “payback” for the roomate not sleeping with him.

      Only can hope there is a somewhat sympathetic DA in that county who will find a way to stick manslaughter charges on to this prick…………

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TonyD
      TonyD

      There was something wrong with the kid that committed suicide besides being outed by being filmed during the act. I’m sure it was seriously embarrassing, but no single reason to jump off a building. In college, my straight roommate walked in on a “friend” and me, and as brutal as the next few weeks living it down were, thoughts of suicide never entered the picture.

      Suicide does not enter the mind of every young LGBTQ American either and it’s a sloppy assumption to believe so. There is no mention of his roommate being homophobic, nor will we really know specifically that he jumped for being outed as gay and his issues with that.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan

      @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS:

      you’re retarded. it doesn’t even condone that they get any charges associated with filming him. They should, however, be expelled, fined $5,000 each, and just humiliated.
      The gay kid killing himself is just his personal problem. Some real issues with that kid.
      Oh and I heard about this story last night; was pretty shocked and sad indeed.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan

      I mean charges of manslaughter or death*. Also they should receive 1 year of probation and 100 hours of community service.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: Umm…not sure how you get ‘muslim’ from the name Dharun Ravi. If we’re going to play ‘stereotype the foreign-sounding name like an ignorant racist,’ at least acknowledge that the kids name far more likely implies ‘Hindu’ than it does ‘Muslim’. Of course, all of that relies on the faulty assumption that you can tell a persons religion by their name…

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeremy O.
      Jeremy O.

      @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS:

      There is already enough hate attached to this story without yours attached to it as well. These are kids who made a dire mistake, a mistake that may or may not have been linked to homophobia but was definitely linked to the insecurities and immaturities of being a freshman in college. My hearts go out to the family of the deceased and to this two kids as well because we can’t forget that they are just that, kids.

      P.S. The young man, Tyler, was far from Muslim.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      @RomanHans: I guess I naively thought it was just about broadcast 2 peeps having sex prank. And the tweets were in the “hee, hee, titter, titter, they are doing it again” vein. But I see your point about it being a straight couple and I suppose that with today’s youth, posting peeps having sex isn’t a big deal. IDK. I honestly don’t know what today’s youth is embarrassed about or not nowadays, what with MTV and its stupid shows.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The1Church
      The1Church

      @ron: Yes, like so many homophobic screwballs, you lump ALL gay people into the same pile, as if ALL gay people were identical in their emotional make up. What a ridiculous and ignorant comment! “Why are “gays” today so weak?” I’m sorry, but that line is so absurd and ignorant it isn’t even funny! Got news for you – some are, some aren’t. We are NOT all of the same identical nature, make up, etc as so many of our detractors perpetrate, with the help of “gays” like you.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 5:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The1Church
      The1Church

      Folks, please bear in mind that the dead fellow is not going to read your comments, but many young men and women, who may face similar situations will. The comments I have read all too often show a complete lack of empathy for this poor kid. I may not be so fragile emotionally as to go out and kill myself after such an occurence, but there are many who are. The kinds of comments that so many are posting here could further add to the depression and sense of abandonment that so many young gay people already feel when such a thing as this occurs. Good grief! Instead of being so critical of the victim, can we not show some love, support, and sympathy for one of our own who experienced a great humiliation, whatever his reaction?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 5:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The1Church
      The1Church

      @tallskin2: Just so you know, there are MANY of us who are in fact Gay Christians. You paint with a far too broad brush. For your information, I know as many non-religious people who are every bit as hateful toward homosexuals and homophobic as the surliest of “Christians.” This story hasn’t even the hint of anything related to religion in it. There is no need to hate ALL people who are part of any particular group or segment of our society. That kind of generalization is the very thing that we as GLBT people have been battling for decades! The last thing we need to do is fall victim to the same worn out and illogical tactics.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 5:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • george
      george

      I just feel bad for everyone involved here. The kids obviously made a very MEAN and STUPID mistake. They are 18 and in college. Who hasn’t done something mean and stupid at that age. It’s horrible that this boy took his own life over this but I’m sorry, I don’t see the point in destroying their lives over it as well.

      I’d give them probation. I’m sure they are racked with guilt over this. I guess I’m just a bleeding heart.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 5:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @RomanHans: Because it may well have nothing to do with it being *gay* sex, and if not, then bringing that into it just turns a certain segment of the viewing public against the dead guy?

      @DR: You say that as if it were a reply to my post, yet it contradicts NOTHING I SAID AT ALL. Of COURSE suicide isn’t the answer. Nor is claiming that there must be something wrong with being gay or so many wouldn’t kill themselves, which is the essence, as I saw it, of the post I was responding to.@<a

      @The1Church: AMEN!!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      Stupid auto-flagger.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      Hmm. All right, time for a bit of experimentation. Going bit by bit, trying to find out what’s somehow objectionable:
      @RomanHans: Because it may well have nothing to do with it being *gay* sex, and if not, then bringing that into it just turns a certain segment of the viewing public against the dead guy?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      OK, apparently not that. How about….
      @DR: You say that as if it were a reply to my post, yet it contradicts NOTHING I SAID AT ALL. Of COURSE suicide isn’t the answer. Nor is claiming that there must be something wrong with being gay or so many wouldn’t kill themselves, which is the essence, as I saw it, of the post I was responding to.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      Not that either. If this one goes through as well, then it’s something to do with the three of them together. Perhaps the system just doesn’t like responding to multiple comments at once? Here goes, and thank y’all for your patience…
      @The1Church: AMEN!!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      @Scott NY’er: Hey, heterosexual sex was nothing back when I was in college, and that was before the turn of the century.

      Anyway, I’m no longer out on a limb here. Garden State Equality just declared this a hate crime.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      I hope there is a long prison sentence for this crime. This is a form of bullying

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      @greenluv1322: Sidestep the real issue and keep blaming the victim why don’t you. You are a complete asshole. Dispicable and disgraceful. Burn in hell and take your bible with you.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      @Hyhybt: If you’re filming somebody having sex and they kill themselves, the fact that it was gay sex makes a HUGE difference, whether or not it made a difference to the filmer. Without that detail it’s an odd throwaway about a man who kills himself after a prank. With the detail — and the tweets — it turns into a hate crime. For instance, if you hear about a man shooting a stranger, it’s relatively uninteresting. If the shooter is a born-again Christian and the victim an abortion doctor, though, it’s a different story entirely.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bryce
      Bryce

      Wow…… Why are there so many negative comments here for such a tragic story?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bob
      Bob

      This is so unbelievably messed up. I’m just going to give the peeping-toms the benefit of the doubt and assume that they don’t know how traumatic being outed prematurely can be.
      On second thought, they broadcast it on the internet. They can go fuck themselves.
      I don’t know the details about this guy but my guess is that as an 18 year old freshmen in college this was probably the first time in his life he was able to express his sexuality. His family probably didn’t approve of his lifestyle. And these people humiliate him like this? It’s so infuriating!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
      PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

      @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: Ok, I was too quick to play CSI Queerty St. The guy appeared to be quite American……..Absolutley sucks that he took this nightmare to the extreme.

      I doubt the roomate had any inkling that this would cause him to kill himself. However if ya live with someone how could you not reaize that he would not freak out about him having sex was broadcast over the internets? He most likely knew the extent of Tyler’s openess about being Gay. Based on his actions pretty safe bet to say he was pretty far in the closet. Sorry but we can’t chalk this one up to a “college prank”. Has to be somewhat serious punishment for a deliberate act which caused someone to take their life……….

      Tyler, rest in peace. It sucks that we are for some reason are of late being bombarded with young kids and teens who are so overwhelmed with the negativity spewed upon our community by those who hate us for simply living our lives the way we are born they are taking their own lives………..

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Equal Rights Now
      Equal Rights Now

      @Ron… not every gay guy out there chooses to use steroids and spend 7 days/wk at the gym to protect themselves. Pull your head out of your roided ass!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kieran
      Kieran

      As far as your average religious homophobe is concerned this story has a happy ending. The fag was caught in his shameful “sin” and then went out and killed himself.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alan
      Alan

      These kids won’t get any kind of serious punishment. A jury will see it as a stupid prank. They didn’t think he would hurt himself. It was cruel and thoughtless. But, a jury will look at their ages and think of the stupid things they or their kids did at that age.

      YouTube is filled with videos of friends trying to barge in on each other masturbating or having sex.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @RomanHans: That’s not enough: for it to be a hate crime (as opposed to being claimed to be one) there has to be, well, *hate* involved somewhere. So far as has been presented so far, we have no *proof* that it was anything more than a prank that turned out far less harmless than it was intended to be. Strong suspicion, yes, but so far, no evidence.

      For that matter, going, again, solely by the few facts presented here, it might not even have had anything to do with his suicide. It would be an improbable coincidence, but not an unheard-of one.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Baxter
      Baxter

      @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: Because Muslims can’t be American? Keep digging.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael
      Michael

      Hopefully alive, but likely not, I’m guessing he would not want/have wanted his name and picture circulated among blogs. Just a hunch.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mal Tempo
      Mal Tempo

      Ravi deserves a manslaughter charge. Bullying that results in a death is not youthful indiscretion; it is a heinous action.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rob
      Rob

      He’s gonna be some piece of fresh meat at Rikers. Serves him right.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      How closeted could he have been with a “favorite quote” about kissing guys publicly visible on his Facebook page? (screenshot at, I think, Good As You)

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GregorVonK
      GregorVonK

      An 18 year old freshman has been “on his own” and away from home for what? Three weeks? A month? And some of you are wondering why he hadn’t fully integrated himself into the campus’ vibrant gay community? Or why he was “deeply in the closet.” Sheesh? He was humiliated to death (literally) while likely taking his first tentative steps–and that’s tragic. It’s also very human. Heartbreaking.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DR
      DR

      @Hyhybt:

      You just happened to be one of the first people to mention that they had enough and couldn’t take it any more. That’s it, so I responded to keep my comments in context.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • randy
      randy

      I also feel bad for the guy who was making out with Tyler. Fortuately, his name is being protected, as I haven’t seen it mentioned at all. But he is just as much a victim of the prank as Tyler is, and he had a friend who just committed suicide.

      Good think Rutgers has such a good network for gays — I hope they reach out to him.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
      PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

      @Baxter: I said that I made a mistake. Look at the other thread running regarding the muslim actor who took a role and was portrayed as Gay and his family told him he is dead to them and disowned them. Sorry you are offended when confronted by reality but that situation happens quite often in that community. Sure muslims can be American, and some of them are Gay and very Gay friendly. However a large number of them retain the practices that dictate pretty much nothing but hatred for the Gay community………

      Sep 29, 2010 at 11:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • reason
      reason

      I could imagine it being humiliating becoming the campus porn star especially when your not prepared with your best shots. A prank would have ended with him laughing at the video with his friends, which is still so wrong by the way. Instead they put him on the internet for billions of people to see, how long until when you goggled his name that video came up? The posting on the internet moves it from a juvenile prank to a malicious act. Even being on the immature side of the spectrum, at that age one should know better. The entire incident is unfortunate, and it is a hard way for both perpetrators to learn the consequences of being childish. Now when you Google their name guess what is going to come up. I would assume that the girl gets off on probation, and the guy gets a year in jail if that. Of course that would be dependent on whether it was the first run in with the law.

      There has been no mention of the boy that he was sleeping with, imagine being in his shoes. Not only is he exposed on the internet, but possible his first boyfriend (not a stretch being first month of freshman year) has committed suicide. He is will be scarred for life.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 11:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ganymeade
      ganymeade

      I was tormented and even sexually assaulted by homophobes and I survived. Not everyone is the same and thresholds vary vastly. I cannot judge this victim; I did not know him. I hope the perps serve time and are shamed themselves. Also, gay teens have been offing themselves for centuries. We just now have the political and social power to call out on this crisis and demand action against bullies. Seven out ten youth suicides have been linked to a queer identity.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 11:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mulletkitty
      mulletkitty

      I’ve been saddened by this and all the other bullying cases this week.

      Did anyone else read the online support chats seemingly composed by Tyler that Gawker just posted? they seem to record Tyler’s thoughtful, increasingly distressed, yet very poised and pro-active reaction to the cyber-bullying incidents: he files a change of roommate form, chats repeatedly to a gay support group online, talks to his RA, and ultimately, as few defended him when he complained, seemed to be sad, outraged, yet still sticking to his guns and toying with some kind of revenge, albeit very mild (pouring pink paint on roomie’s things.) He just doesn’t sound like you think a suicidal person would sound. But then again, freshmen year is a lonely time, and this dorm sounds like a bunch of homophobic, immature idiots that may have pushed a kind soul over the edge. Still —

      Maybe he is not dead. Until a body is id’d I am gonna remain hopeful for this victim….

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Diz
      Diz

      Ugh, I just read an article about this on Yahoo. It’s disgusting how many comments were in favor of a gay guy dead.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MrDivaBitch
      MrDivaBitch

      Poor boy, but in this case I think it’s also his own weakness to blame. If I was him instead of killing myself I would have burned that fugly paki with acid and let his flesh melt off his bones, and brutally rape and desfigure the asian bitch.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Adam
      Adam

      My thoughts are with the Clementi Family. Their pain must be immeasurable.

      As for Tyler, at age 18 it can seem overwhelming and confusing, and then to have your privacy and sense of personal safety violated so callously.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jared Alessandroni
      Jared Alessandroni

      @MrDivaBitch – I believe that we need to teach our gay youth how to be strong and proud, and if Tyler wasn’t confident in his sexuality, or if his peers, family and society had made him feel that expressing it was worse than death, shame on us. But there is no need so say those gross and racist things – those two kids – (and they are kids) made a stupid choice and they will have to live with that choice for the rest of their lives. It’s awful, they were wrong, but we can’t blame some random adolescents for a major failing in our society. We need to do better. I speak from awful experience when I say that it’s not easy to do, but still we must try to teach kids to come to terms with whatever their sexuality may be so that two prankster punks can’t and won’t and in this kind of tragedy again.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 1:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @DR: Got it :) Sorry for reacting badly.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 1:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Paul the 13th
      Paul the 13th

      What a incredible tragic situation but its not surprising given the current climate of our society’s thinking regarding issues of homosexuality. When a society encourages homophobia and shame and the gay youth don’t have any REAL POSITIVE GAY ROLE MODELS IN THE MEDIA AND IN THEIR PRIVATE LIVES to look up to it shouldn’t surprise anyone that these types of tragedies keep happening.

      What I find more abhorrent is the same folks that are making arguments that “gays should stay in the closet” or that “being open and out is nobody’s business regardless whether you’re a celebrity of not” are up in arms when they see tragedies like this happen. Those very people that are making those arguments are part of the reason why rampant homophobia still exist in our society and shame is still associated with being gay because people aren’t coming out and being proud of who they are. Sadly to say but many gay folks are partly responsible for the reason these tragedies keep happening.

      They encourage the shame that is built up in the social psyche in our society associated with being gay and they encourage homophobia by telling other gays that its ok to remain in the closet. No wonder the gay youth are killing themselves they don’t have anyone on their side. They have no one to look up to. Shame on you selfish pricks.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 1:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thomas Marx
      Thomas Marx

      I don’t give a shit if you’re straight or gay or something else, at that age, I can’t even imagine how mortified I’d be if someone taped me having sex and put it on the Internet for everyone to see. Shit, if someone taped me having sex now, I’d be horrified. I can’t even begin to comprehend how devastating it must have been. I wish there really was such a thing as hell just so I could be reassured that those assholes would go to hell.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 1:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nelson
      nelson

      This is a fucked up world.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 1:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tallskin2
      tallskin2

      One thing I don’t understand about all this is why in the US you share a room with someone else? That’s insane.

      when I was at university here in the UK i had my own university provided room. Then later I moved out of university residence into my own flat.

      Most people in Europe when at university have their own rooms, either in university provided accommodation or in their own flat.

      The idea of having to share your room, YOUR ROOM for f*ck’s sake, with a stranger is just such a horrible thought.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      It is so sad that he felt he did not want to or had no one to talk to. There are so many of us who would have been able to see him through this.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • prohomo
      prohomo

      @greenluv1322: really, how stu[id, I agree. WTF is killing yourself gonna do??! Stand up and face your demons, bunchof loser cowards.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 3:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J T
      J T

      @orinthe: There’s a law against shouting “Fire” in a crowded theater not because yelling “Fire” is in and of itself a crime but because of the effect it could have on people who, in shock, might stampede for the exits and might trample somebody to death. It’s not a certainty that someone shouting fire will cause someone’s death, but the point of the law is that people have to think a step or two ahead at the possible repercussions of their actions, and that doing something that COULD have those repercussions is akin to causing those repercussions—even if you don’t. So drinking of age is legal and driving with a license is legal but drinking underage and driving without a license is illegal, and drinking and driving is worse, even if you don’t run somebody over.

      Nobody has to want to see society get over its homophobia, but posting video of an 18-year-old kid making out with another guy onto the web of a homophobic world is worse than doing the same to a straight couple. Some kids reasonably fear that if their parents knew they were using their college freedom to explore a sexuality they had hidden for years, those parents will not only cut them off from financial support, drop them from their insurance, etc., but stop doing the normal caring things and giving the emotional support every kid needs.

      It’s hard enough to come out of the closet to a family that may be conservative, religious, or even just like the sadly average American, cracking jokes about masculinity and homosexuality. Even a doting and open-minded family can be a difficult prospect to come out to—perhaps especially so. Kids who are going through a hugely stressful social adjustment moving into a college dorm and going into overdrive on the pre-career track just don’t need the worry that things will never be the same when they come home for holidays or have special events like recitals and whatnot.

      Now realize that this isn’t just forcing someone out of the closet, it’s making every aspect of his sexual encounter, every move, every word, every sound, the first thing anybody knows about his sexuality. The sort of people who say I don’t care what you are, just don’t push it in my face, the sort of parent who loves their kid even if he’s gay, it’s quite a bit harder to take that your son is on camera doing this and that. People want to come out of the closet on their own terms, in the context they prefer, at a time when they and their family is best equipped to deal with it, perhaps after leading up to it. You want to say you’ve fallen in love with someone and you’d like them to meet him, you don’t want to say I’m a top or I’m a bottom or I’m really loud in bed. Not everything we do in every encounter, particularly our earlier ones, is who we are, much less how we want to be publicly and familially identified.

      But beyond that, even if the guy was out to his family, it’s still a massive betrayal, a hugely hurtful and devastatingly cruel and coldly dishonest thing to invade someone’s most private moments like this and gleefully stream it live on the web. It’s as I said enough of an adjustment to be thrown into a dorm room with someone you don’t know and who you fear will be inclined to be against gays. Saying something to someone, or even saying something about someone, is nothing compared to streaming video of them.

      And finally, this would be horrible to do to an adult at 30 or 40 or 50, who has had a lot of time to really deal with his sexuality and a lot of time for it to sink in to his family and friends, and a lot of time to create for himself the life he hopes he and others can be proud of. But to do this to someone who is in such a formative stage of his life—just because it’s legal for someone to pose nude and have sex on camera at that age doesn’t mean everybody’s life has somehow geared them toward that point.

      This is the essence of a hate crime. Especially if he was closeted—and someone suggesting his college roommate wouldn’t know whether he was closeted or not in general or at home after a few weeks is in denial themselves—the only outcome this could have would be to indelibly and harshly alter this kid’s life forever, destroying the life it was his right to create for himself. Even if these two are so ignorant that they didn’t KNOW gay people go through crises of confidence when they are outed, and that young gay people are four times more likely to commit suicide for largely that reason, they clearly had the understanding that they were altering his life and robbing him of his own choices in the matter. Destroying his life if he had to remain to live it, even if he hadn’t succumbed to that horrible choice to kill himself. For all we know the other guy is scandalized as well, or this kid feared he would be. He probably feared hate crimes as well. He would have become every jerk’s joke on campus. College is supposed to be an opportunity to start fresh with a new group of more mature people who don’t know every foible you’ve made since kindergarten. It breaks my heart how it broke his heart. And as someone who was in college in the late ’80s, it breaks my heart that more than two decades later, with all the advances in our society, there can still be two people with so much disdain for the rights of a young gay kid to make of his life whatever he can that they would want to—and succeed in—robbing him of the life he chose. The law should look on this as a hate crime, because it’s tantamount to rape, minus the physical effects. They wanted to kill something in him, take something away from him, even if they didn’t know he would kill himself over it. And for that they should suffer the same fate, to spend their formative years in prison instead of in college. Let’s see how easy it is to have everybody look at you differently for one thing that went out over the web. Let’s see how easy it is to bear the responsibility of taking someone else’s choices away. Try and start fresh when you get out of prison in five or six years with a record of not only what you did, and what the result was, but the callous and heartless and snide way you thought and communicated about it. Let’s see who wants to trust and love and accept who YOU are after this.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 5:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • daseekah
      daseekah

      This is side i hope they prosecute these two assholes to the full extent of the law

      Sep 30, 2010 at 5:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alicia
      Alicia

      @greenluv1322: What’s up with you people bullying innocents because of who they are? Stupid.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 5:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alicia
      Alicia

      @sweetnovember: Max 5 years and unless they have a really liberal judge and jury, they’ll most likely never see the inside of a penitentiary. It’s wrong and it’s sickening, but it’s how this country works.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 5:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alicia
      Alicia

      @Diz: That’s why I come to Queerty and other progressive news sites right off when I get an inkling of these things. I can’t stomach the hate and ignorance. The hate on this board is bad enough, without the encouragement of an open witch hunt, which I’ve seen happen on yahoo.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 6:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • James Hamilton
      James Hamilton

      @orinthe:
      R U SERIOUS DID U EVEN READ THE TOP OF THE SCREEN they thought this wolld be so funny hahah someone is dead funny enough
      theese kids should be charged with Inpraved Indiifrence i have no sympahty for them. They video taped him with ot his consent what if this were ur son or daughter how would feel

      Sep 30, 2010 at 8:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tony
      Tony

      Yeah, I’m sure that a guy who tweets “Suck my dick” has no issues.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 9:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      I think it’s presumptuous to call Tyler Clementi gay. He may have been experimenting or he may have been bisexual.

      In any case, it’s a terribly sad time for his family. My heart goes out to them.

      I remember how difficult it was merely entering a gay bar when I was in my early 20’s. I thought I was going to pass out from the experience, such was the nerve-wracking feeling I had. But to have a sexually intimate experience recorded like this is beyond the pale. It is particularly bad for someone who may be surrounded by immature students of the homophobic variety who listen to Eminem and rap acts spouting words like “faggot”.

      It’s like being raped in public, with people laughing at your plight.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 9:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      This case is so sad. Tyler could have come through this and it’s a shame that he was overwhelmed because of what these two monsters did.

      So the world lost a good kid and we have two assholes who harrassed him. Too bad it couldn’t have been the other way around. I hope that Tylers family sues them in civil court for intentional infliction of emotional distress leading to his death, and get such massive judgements against them that even when they are in rest homes they will still be sending checks to his family.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 9:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron in Honolulu
      Aaron in Honolulu

      @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: Let it go already. You embarrassed yourself enough.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 9:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      @mulletkitty: This is the Gawker link to what really does seem like Tyler/Gay student’s last communications and the douche roommate.

      IF, this is Tyler, he seems to be stable in this communications. But who knows what is going on. His roommate seems like a big dirtbag. And I would have done more than just think of pouring paint on his stuff.

      To kill yourself over that, tho. It’s so sad.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      the link:
      http://gawker.com/5651659/is-this-webcam-spying-victim-tyler-clementis-last-call-for-help

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • greenluv1322
      greenluv1322

      @ewe: bible? are you smoking crack? his actions were extreme. obviously he had personal problems as does anyone who commits suicide. you guys are weak. man up!

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"
      Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"

      Wow, what a tough story — just sad all the way around.

      Part of me wants the two perps sent away for really long terms, a kid is dead afterall. And part of me remembers that as a sophomore at Berkeley, I sent phony grade cards with failing grades to one of the freshman roommates parents. I did think to send grades for classes that I knew he hadn’t taken his finals yet; but, nonetheless, his mother called the head RA in tears over this. She was devastated and it took several calls to department heads to get her to understand that it must have been a prank as the finals had not yet been given. It was a prank that went too far. (My relief was that I regularly helped him with 2 classes so he knew this was in jest and not an intended mean slap/bully tactic. And it was pizza and beer on me for weeks.)

      And I guess that is where I am at on this horrible story. How it is proven one way or the other is someone else’s job BUT if this was a sophomoric prank, then the perps aren’t really perps, they are pranksters and justice needs to take that into account. If this was bullying, then the 5 years of potential prison time is too lenient. B

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Taylor Siluwé
      Taylor Siluwé

      This Youtube generation thinks everything is funny, and any violation of privacy can become an internet sensation. This was certainly a cyber “rape”, and there is nothing sensational, prankish or funny about it. And rape victims, naturally, are emotionally distraught and irrational afterwards.

      Young Mr. Ravi is a sex offender — and just as surely as if he’d fondled someone in a train station and that person fell in front of an oncoming train trying to flee, he’s responsible for that death as well (however unpremeditated or unintentional).
      And I strongly disagree with those saying ‘why ruin two more lives’ – their lives can’t possibly be ruined as much as Tyler’s has been.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 11:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      @greenluv1322: You are in a cloud of hate. The ONLY reason this man ended his life was because of having to deal with the ugliness within the hearts and minds of people like you. I am not one of those people and i would spit in your face the very minute i saw you and throw your scrawny ass through a mother fucking wall. Go elsewhere you self hating fucking closet queen. You are a meaningless worthless piece of shit.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John
      John

      I found this web site by googling “Molly Wei Scum”. I assure you as a straight moderate Republican this story makes me and 99.9% of all people sick/furious. Whether it seems like it or not, the vast majority of (College Educated 20-60 year old) people are with the LGBT community in the strugle for equality.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      @John: Glad to hear it. I wish i heard all those voices speak up.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MrDivaBitch
      MrDivaBitch

      @Jared Alessandroni:

      Yeah? and what should we do? a slap on the wrist and off you go? No sir, they pick on us gays because we are an easy target, because we NEVER fight back…well, I’m tired of that, I REFUSE to be put down, I can give it as good as it’s given to me…and then some more.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      @greenluv1322: btw: i cannot stand people who bring up the subject of crack not knowing anything about it. Don’t think for a second everybody here doesn’t know you adopted your manhood off some american television sitcom episode. That essentially means you have no idea what masculinity really entails. Let me give you a hint… It includes well roundedness, inclusiveness, the ability to empathize and be in touch with ones feelings. You belong in a costume next to an elephant in a circus. No offense to anyone who works at the circus. You are getting no more responses from me on this particular thread. People like you are so self centered to a point of reversing the severity of this incident to your own insecurity about gender role playing. Someone said it succinctly here many times. You are a DOUCHEBAG.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      @MrDivaBitch: Bravo. Let’s keep it strictly in the courts though so as to help the many.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Breckin
      Breckin

      @Mk: I agree with you completely. In addition to the incident put into their permanent records, I also believe that the two students should be prosecuted as sexual offenders and thus be on the national list of known Sexual Offenders for the rest of their lives.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      @ron: So you want todays gay youth to be angry in order to be strong and fight back because you went through harassment and so should they? That is dysfunctional.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 2:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J T
      J T

      @John: I don’t know if you’ll return here, then, to see what responses you may have incurred, but I’ll make one to you anyway.

      I respect your position and appreciate your willingness to post it on a gay website. However, if it’s going to do your position any good, you need to be willing to post it on a Republican website. As you can see, this is an issue of life and death for some people even when in the very same cases it’s all just some big joke to others. (I mean the perpetrators, but not just them, I’ve seen the homophobic posts on other sites about this story.)

      The reason Democratic officials didn’t change all the laws in gays’ favor on the first day in office is because they are actually far more moderate than any Republican or even the so-called lefty mainstream media is willing to admit to themselves. They recognize that the center of gravity has moved on gay issues, yet they realize these laws need to be absorbed and observed by those clinging to the wrong end of the issues, and so they’re soft-pedaling it. But, as you note, the majority are against the anti-gay stances of the past.

      So why, then, are these anti-gay stances still being struck—indeed, being pushed not just in the form of ballot initiatives but threats of “pro-straight” (anti-gay) constitutional amendments—by the Republican party? Why can’t this silent majority you suggest you belong to speak to one another, and change your party’s tone, change their focus, or throw them out in favor of Republican candidates who represent the majority of Americans on these issues? Instead, we are deluged by the preposterous rhetoric that Obama is a Socialist outsider who represents un-American values, and it’s the Tea Party candidates your party is bent on insinuating into this already tone-deaf mix.

      Listen, I’m not thrilled with every Democrat up there, but there have been years where I’ve put my own self-interest second to a greater good. Rare has been the election where a candidate actually promised me what I deserve as a gay American. Perhaps in the coming election, you can convince your fellow Republicans that an “R” on the ballot does not equate this year to conservative government that wants to get smaller, get out of people’s lives and let them get on with their American dream. Perhaps you can show your fellow Republicans that the aspect of this election they need to focus on is not the end-all, be-all of taxes on the wealthy, and the change we need to make this next session is not wasting two years and however many millions repealing health care, but rather to give greater equity to gays.

      I know, fat chance. But until that argument comes at a Republican FROM a Republican, none of us are going to get anywhere, and more people’s lives will be destroyed. Can you honestly say financial regulatory reform is more harmful to our country’s greatness than the atmosphere that fosters this sort of dynamic, where straights (or, in some cases, closeted gays) think the lives of gays are so devoid of respect and value that they can do something like this to them, and gays, in a horrible avalanche of realization, succumb to that paradigm rather than try and change it?

      Sep 30, 2010 at 7:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • orinthe
      orinthe

      @James Hamilton: I can’t say I would feel the same way, but my conclusion (given the current evidence) would be the same: the two who did this are guilty of a lot of things including a crime that they should be prosecuted for, but they are not guilty of murder or even manslaughter. Murder requires intent, and manslaughter requires the possibility of death having been foreseeable. While it’s possibly you could get someone to press charges and maybe even get a conviction, in my opinion it would be inappropriate given the facts that we have available. If you want to send a message you could find much more deserving scapegoats than these two.

      I feel like a lot of people here are talking about revenge and not justice.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 8:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tartuffe
      Tartuffe

      These recent stories have been so so tragic.. I hope those two monsters get the maximum jail time possible. I also hope they’re sued for all the money they and their parents have/ever will have.

      Also, Queerty: I just wanted to point out that he was a violinist and not a violist.. it might not seem like a big deal to most of you, but I can say as a musician myself that it would be important to me to be remembered by the right instrument to which I devoted so much of my life.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 8:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J T
      J T

      @orinthe: Justice is done when the actual impact of someone’s actions on a somewhat disenfranchised and largely misunderstood minority is taken into account, and when someone who would repeat the crime recognizes that, because their crime could have the same devastating consequences, it will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and this isn’t the perfect way to get rid of queers without going to jail. There are actually people who think that way, and they have thrived at every juncture where civil protections don’t take into account the circumstances.

      Revenge would be to go and kill these two for the results of those actions, which nobody is suggesting. Believe it or not I actually worried earlier today for the safety of these two, being out on bail in a society whose laws seem not to really care about gays. (Look at what armed Tea Partiers seem to want to do to “take their country back” with little basis in reality and no basis in respect for their fellow Americans.) Justice is to prosecute them for the RESULTS of those actions, and not merely for infractions that caused those results. Justice is to send a message that this dehumanizing treatment of gays, particularly young gays most ill-equipped to deal with it, must stop.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 9:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gayandgray
      gayandgray

      @tallskin2: Humanitarian and rapper ’50 cent’ commented on the Rutgers student suicide as follows:
      “If you (sic) a man and your over 25 and you don’t eat pussy just kill your self damn it. The world will be a better place. Lol”

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Damon
      Damon

      @DR: @DR:

      Uhhhh…#19 “Dr” needs their face violently slapped for such extreme ignorance. That mentality is the very core of the apathetic society in which we live. It is disgusting.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 3:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron
      Aaron

      I have no idea how this comment is gonna go, so if it’s a clusterfuck, I’m sorry.

      Let me start off by saying that my utmost sympathy goes out to this guy and his family and friends.

      But let me say this, I do not think that THIS specifically is what caused him to kill himself. As somebody who has attempted to commit suicide before, I can tell you that the majority of people who do so have a long long history of mental health problems. While in extreme cases severely traumatic events can cause one to commit suicide, things like this don’t. Things like this usually act as the straw that broke the camel’s back. If you’ve already got depression (or something worse, like Bipolar), adding being gay/bisexual/trans/pan/anything not heterosexual is not good (especially (excluding trans) if you’re a guy, where it’s still less accepted to be those than it is for women to). It’s like chopping off the arms of somebody who’s already lost their legs. I can imagine this kid already suffered with mental illness for most of his life, has already had to deal with plenty of bull, and isn’t out to people outside his family/vice-versa/both. While I’m sure many of you can say suicide is never the answer, wait until you’re in the position where it FEELS like it is (no matter if deep down you FEEL it’s not).

      Now let me say that while these kids can’t be charged with murder, or even what we traditionally charge as man slaughter, they could (and should, as all Bullies should in such cases as this, really) loosely charge them with Constructive Manslaughter (example: if a person throws a brick off a bridge into vehicular traffic below they could be found to intend or be reckless as to assault or criminal damage. There is no intent to kill, and a resulting death would not be considered murder, but would be considered involuntary manslaughter. The accused’s responsibility for causing death is constructed from the fault in committing what might have been a minor criminal act). And make no mistake, these people, or at least the guy, were homophobes. No, it doesn’t sound like he was the “let’s go out and bash those fags skulls in!” type of homophobe, but rather the widely accepted homophobia that lies within the majority of heterosexual men. You know, the guys who call things “gay” all the time, who can’t handle seeing two men kiss, and who are grossed out by seeing a penis that isn’t theirs. These are the types of guys who think beer, tits, pussy, and sports and/or video games are the most important things in life. And I’m sure these people have bullied before. Most people don’t start this stuff randomly in college.

      So yeah, sorry that was so long winded. On a side note: do we know this guy was actually gay? I mean, obviously he wasn’t heterosexual judging from his actions, but just because one has sex with another man does not make him strictly gay. (though I should say it seems likely he is simply Gay, I only ask because I haven’t heard any solid confirmation of full homosexuality)

      Oct 1, 2010 at 5:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • you're gonna flag this
      you're gonna flag this

      The other guy is probably really insecure now after one of his lovers commits suicide. Scared straight?

      Oct 3, 2010 at 8:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff D
      Jeff D

      These kids should do some serious time . Its time to send a message to people that hate crimes will not be tolerated.
      They should get 25 yrs for manslaughter, and 5-7 for their other charges of wire-tapping.

      They need some serious time to think about what they did and pay for their crimes.

      While they didn’t do the killing, they led him to kill himself by their actions

      Thats manslaughter.

      WAKE UP NEW JERSEY

      Oct 4, 2010 at 1:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @Jeff D: The thing is, we don’t actually *know* that “they led him to kill himself.” We don’t even know that it was the last straw; from his online record, he seems to have taken it reasonably at first.

      And we’ll probably never know significantly more. If, for example, his boyfriend broke up with him and *that* set him off, the boyfriend might, understandably, keep quiet about that.

      But unless a note or something turns up explaining it all, nobody will ever know for certain what all the factors were, or just how significant this one was. And without KNOWING, not guessing or assuming, that the spying was the primary factor, under our system of “innocent until PROVEN guilty,” imprisoning them for manslaughter is unreasonable.

      (Why can I not shake the idea that it wasn’t a suicide at all? Too many Agatha Christie audiobooks filling my commutes, perhaps… still, there’s something… OFF about the whole thing.)

      Oct 4, 2010 at 3:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shamed
      Shamed

      Having a friend walk in on you is one thing but have your encounter posted on the net is just plain cruel and irresponsible. Can’t even claim ignorance since we all know the dangers of posting crap like that online intentionally or not. Was it a hate crime? I am not sure, but what I am sure of is that anyone regardless of their sexual orientation would feel exactly the same way this young man felt. Would they commit suicide? some would, I encourage anyone to research suicides that are a direct result of either sex crimes, or. Please do not be so naive as to believe that this is something one can just put up with it, or that it will eventually blow over. People have lost their lives for a lot less. Think of honor killings, whole families made to watch their daughters gang raped and or stoned to death because one’s purity is questioned.

      Oct 5, 2010 at 11:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pauls
      pauls

      hate crime charges for Ravi and Wei

      Oct 6, 2010 at 3:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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