As we’re sure you all know, ’tis the eve of the Sex and the City: The Movie premiere and people are flipping the fuck out; dropping everything for the opportunity to be the first on the cul-de-sac to see if Samantha really dies like all the papers say. (We kid, we kid!)

Well, not us. How are we, and everyone like us, supposed to get excited about a movie portraying the lives of characters we would actively avoid were they real people?

With booze, of course!

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