Sarah Palin definitely played that card in 2006, when she told an Alaskan newspaper that though she supported her state's potential ban on same-sex marriage, she's not against the gays: "Palin said she's not out to judge anyone and has good friends who are gay, but that she supported the 1998 constitutional amendment."

Yet, in the weeks since John McCain picked Palin as his running mate, however, there's been nary a mention of any queer chums coming out for Palin. Not a single homo has spoken out against media scrutiny and said, "Leave Palin Alone!" And it makes Dan Savage sad.

But the startling queer absence doesn't mean she can't find a gay friend – and Savage thinks he's just the man for the job, so he's posted a video highlighting the benefits of being his pal. Like what? Well, he can teach Palin's children about safe sex, clearly not something that's been drilled into their heads. Also, he can talk to the gals about boys and teach future son-in-law Levi Johnston new dirty words!

Of course there are plenty of other lessons gays can teach the Governor, and Savage knows that one of you darlings can offer some more tips If you want to school Palin on the benefits of the bent boys and girls, you should make a video and send a YouTube link his way.

It's really for Palin's own good. Says Savage: "Sarah Palin may have been lying when she claimed to have gay friends back in 2006 but this is America, my friends, where we can make the lies come true!"