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Self-Touchy Rev. Grant Storms Insists He Wasn’t Masturbating, Just Warming Up His Groin With A Hand In His Underwear

Rev. Grant Storms, the Louisiana pastor arrested for jerking it in a public park while looking atkids, is so sorry u guyz. Holding a press conference after he was charged (and released due to jail overcrowding), Storms says wants “to apologize deeply for my inappropriate, sinful actions.” And while Storms insists he was not masturbating at the park (he was sitting in his fan with his pants undone and his hand in his underwear), he does acknowledge he was looking at porn an hour before. “That nature of my problem is pornography.” But it’s not like the church is going to throw him out: He’s no longer affiliated with the church that led the protest against Southern Decadence. And he’s sorry for leading such a hateful existence, too. Now tell us, Rev. Storms: What kind of porn were you watching?

By:           JD
On:           Mar 2, 2011
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 4 Comments
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      I think we all know what kind of porn it probably was. This dude is a pedophile, doing what he did in a park after watching porn. Warming his groin indeed. And he calls US deviant???

      Mar 2, 2011 at 9:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dvlaries
      dvlaries

      Just Warming Up His Groin With A Hand in His Underwear

      So what’s this mean, he’s Al Bundy now…?

      Mar 2, 2011 at 12:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      Grant Storms . . . sounds like a porn name, or a TV weather man.

      Mar 2, 2011 at 4:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      QUEERTY misrepresented what Grant Storm said – he denied masturbating while looking at children or in front of children, claiming he was reclining and couldn’t see out of the van and the
      children, wherever they were, could not see in.

      He punted when asked whether he was masturbating otherwise – his lawyer probably told him to keep his mouth shut about that – and simply said that that discussion would have to wait until a trial.

      You can draw your own conclusions about what he was doing, but unless Louisiana is having below-freezing temperatures, warming his hands is the least likely explanation (and one that he never suggested).

      Mar 5, 2011 at 2:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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