It’s been a tough election cycle for Louisiana’s antigay gubernatorial candidate and admitted patron of prostitutes Republican Sen. David Vitter. Despite his best efforts, the gay-hating, Chick-fil-A-loving lawmaker can’t seem to escape his very, very, very sordid past.
Funny how that works.
Earlier this election season, Vitter’s camp allegedly threatened to pull $250,000 worth of advertising from a local TV station if it didn’t immediately fire a reporter who asked him if still enjoyed being dressed up in adult diapers and spanked by prostitutes, a charge Vitter admitted to back in 2007.
A few weeks after that, one of Vitter’s alleged former mistresses came forward to say she had given up his love child for adoption in 2000 after the pro-life, “family values” politician urged her to have an abortion.
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For the most part, Vitter was able to talk his way out those scandals, usually by pivoting the blame onto others. That all changed, however, late last week when his opponent, Democratic state Rep. John Bel Edwards, released what may very well be one of the most brutal and simultaneously hilarious must-see political ads in history in which he accuses the senator of “choosing prostitutes over patriots”:
Vitter called the ad a low blow, though he didn’t actually deny what it said because, well, he couldn’t. He really did run off with a hooker at the same time he was supposed to be voting for a bill honoring U.S. soldiers. It’s all on record.
Well, this week, Vitter finally responded to that whole paying-women-for-sex thing that’s been plaguing like a bad case of herpes for the past eight years. In a glossy new 30-second TV spot, he tries spinning his sex scandal into a tale of redemption.
“Fifteen years ago, I failed my family,” he begins, “but found forgiveness and love. I learned that our falls don’t define us, but rather how we get up, accept responsibility and earn redemption.”
Then he tries comparing his “mistake” (paying for prostitutes while simultaneously claiming to be a “family guy” and opposing LGBTQ rights, women’s rights, etc.) to the problems of everyday, hardworking, law-abiding Louisianians.
“Now, Louisiana has fallen on hard times: budget crisis, low wages, failing schools,” he continues. “You know me: I’m a fighter. And as your governor, I’ll get up every day to fight for you for a much better, stronger Louisiana.”
Evidently, in Vitter’s eyes, not earning enough at your job to make ends meet or having your child bring home a bad grade from school is tantamount to being caught paying women for sex with a government-funded salary.
The video, which was originally titled “Hard Times” until several commenters pointed out the double entendre and it was changed to “Difficult Times,” was uploaded to Vitter’s official YouTube channel, but it can only be viewed through a direct link and does not appear anywhere on his channel’s main pages.
Vitter is currently losing to Edwards in the polls by 22 points. And with the election still two weeks away, we’re sure there’s going to be a lot more diaper-slinging.
Grab the popcorn.
Victor Barry
Prostitution should be legalized. I support David Vitter. Oh, wait, he’s married and cheating on his wife. Nope, can’t figure a way out for you buddy.
Jay ProVallone
Traditional family values!
Jonathon Popphan
Don’t buy it for a second. He’s just more careful now than he was before, but I’d bet my last dime that he’s still putting on diapers and paying for prostitutes. He’s a pig.
1EqualityUSA
House of Cards fodder. He’s doomed.
1EqualityUSA
“Yes, Mr.Vitter, more diaper rash ointment. Shall I stack it in the charity box again? Oh, I know! A & D will have killer profits this year. Wha, you’d like to keep one…? Yes, top drawer. They’re starting to come in from Canada. No, not Europe, not yet anyway…
zooby
Paying for sex … how desperate can you get?
Desert Boy
So many posts about Diaper Boy on Queerty of late. Very strange.
Dennis Gordon
Sadly he will probably win in a landslide
Kieran
We’re talking Louisiana here folks, are we sure the democrat is going to be any better for the gays than Diaper Vitter?
Kangol
I have zero hope that the voters of Louisiana will do the right thing and send this r@cist homophobic diaper-fetish freak packing, but I could be wrong. I hope they surprise me and the rest of America. David Vitter’s a sleazebag and should NOT be elected governor or anything else.
Giancarlo85
@Kangol: No. They’ll vote for him simply because he has an “R” next to his name. This is what even our resident homophobes like BJ and CWM do… they don’t care what the candidate stands for at all.
seaguy
Louisiana voters have a history of electing corrupt and criminal governors so I would not be surprised if they elect this loser. At least he’ll be out of the US senate then.
Sheldon Siegel
In other words, he dines and dashes.
Joe
HYPOCRITE!!
onthemark
@Sheldon Siegel: I was thinking the same thing. Maybe he still GOES to prostitutes but he skips out without paying them.
It’s like the old joke: How do you make a hormone? … Don’t pay her!
Cam
I love how he says “Oh LA. has fallen on hard times and I’m here to help” The fact that Louisiana fell on hard times WHILE he was in office should be a huge signal to everybody.
But don’t worry Vitter, Christians don’t really care about things like lying, adultery, prostitutes, and bribery.
As long as you hate gays and minorities that’s all those fake Christians really care about.
Gregory Tutko
And he gives morality lessons free, too.
Atomicrob
What a hypocrite! I hope Louisiana voters have more sense than electing such a complete ass . . .
Mike Smith
They come to him free
woodin
These so called Christian types who get caught always spin it into ” found redemption”, so I’m no longer that creepy hypocrite. Yet what’s really bizarre about him and his ilk, they go along with it.
Have to Wonder if he was stealing diapers of family,friends and colleagues over the years.
Giancarlo85
@Cam: Why did Louisiana fall on hard times anyways? It was the last shit governor and one of Vitter’s close friends, Bobby Jindal. Bobby Jindal took a state that a had a surplus and decent economy into one with a massive deficit.
Of course the stupid voters will make the same mistake and vote for another republican. Republicans always drive states in the ground. This is why their approval ratings are sinking everywhere, and they will be panned next year (no matter what CWM85 says).
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: The article says “Vitter is currently losing to Edwards in the polls by 22 points” with the election two weeks away. So fortunately the voters may not be stupid enough to elect Vitter.
Giancarlo85
We’ll have to see. I suppose Jindal did damage Vitter enough… Jindal is easily one of the worst Governors in this nation with one of the LOWEST approval ratings.
Jindal… he took a $1.1 surplus left from Democrat Kathleen Blanco and turned it into a huge burdening deficit of $1.6 billion. The state also had a negative credit outlook warning issued by creditors.
BTW, as far as this article… I need more corroboration so I looked this up:
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2015/governor/la/louisiana_governor_vitter_vs_edwards-4314.html
The problem here is that Vitter previously led by double digits himself. There simply isn’t enough polling being done. In September, Vitter had an 18% lead over Edwards in a PPP Poll (which is a democrat pollster I must add). Did Edwards turn it around in just two months and now leads Vitter by double digits? I don’t know.
I guess we’ll have to wait. Apparently they don’t conduct enough polls in Louisiana. Pretty scant. I hope Edwards does lead though.