How was your Valentine’s Day? We spent ours in the traditional way: sitting at home in our underwear, binge-watching all of Firefly, and eating cold pizza with toppings that sounded good online but proved to be an unwise combination.
Now that the holiday has passed and our Facebook timeline is no longer a parade of couples posing with forced grins as though they never fight and can still stand to be around each other, we can go back to our favorite past time: reveling in the schadenfreude of your friends’ failed romances.
Men.com has just put out another one of their delicious videos, this time with a bunch of performers revealing the worst dates they’ve ever been on. Among our favorites: Colby Jansen who went on a date with someone who just got sloppy-drunk, talked only about themselves, and threw up on him. Ah, love.
Poor Bennett Anthony went bowling with his boyfriend when he was 15, and his date chose that point to make an unpleasant announcement. Andy Banks got rained on while stargazing. And Colt Rivers says he’s never been on a date.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Can we unpack that last one a little, please? “I’ve never been on a date in my life,” Colt shrugs, and there’s no more info than that. So what’s going on there? He’s super-cute, so it’s not like he couldn’t if he wanted to. Is he in a cult? A loner? Prefers fooling around to commitment? From space? Speculate wildly in the comments, please.
And if you absolutely must see some happy couples, well, we put up a few galleries of those for Valentines Day, so feast your eyes on some revolutionary kisses and boys in their undies.
Stache99
Cute but I don’t get the last guy. Probably just being snarky but I would be pissed if I was the BF and I just heard that.
lauraspencer
I clicked on the clip thinking it was going to be regular sexy guys. Shouldn’t it say somewhere in the title or article that these guys are porn performers? I doubt that porn performers have the same dating issues as the every day guy.
I’m not being snarky, but I’m curious to know what happened the first guy’s ear? Does anyone know?
breal
How about Instead of “sexy guys” in the title you replace with “porn star”? It would make the article much more accurate. Yes I am being judgmental. 🙂
Captain Obvious
Glad I read the comments first. I just can’t get into looking at guys who do porn like they’re regular guys. It’s really off-putting.
Xzamilio
The ginger guy kept reminding me of red velvet cake… I don’t know what it is about redheaded guys, but the lean ones with the tight bodies just do it for me. The last guy I just saw on The Millionaire Matchmaker for an episode about Perez Hilton… I don’t like him.
TrueWords
Are these really dates or are these clients paying for their time…clarification of this fact is essential….
Josh447
I have had three long term relationships in my life all over three years. But I’ve never dated. They all came about by being out and about loving and living life. But dating? Nah. I just wait for him to drop from heaven. Always happens unless I’m insecure about finding a guy. Then it doesn’t.
Realitycheck
Sexy guys???? LOL
TransParency_
My worst date could have been my best date, had the guy not been a cissexist homo pig who assumed that all men have penises, and, more importantly, that gay men don’t like vaginas.
spiffy
What a confusing video. Colt Rivers has never been on a date? Is that worse than being on a bad date? Still like him better as a Sean Cody employee.
And isn’t Mike de Marko gay-for-pay? So unless he was referring to a john that wouldn’t leave, what was the point of including him in the clip?
jayj150
@spiffy: What??. NO, he is NOT straight. He’s been open about being gay since he first started doing porn. Here’s an early interview of his:
http://www.gaydemon.com/blogs/interview_with_mike_de_marko.html
Why do gay guys always assume gays porn stars are really “straight”?
Joe Dalmas
Porn stars, just shut up and fW@K.
MarionPaige
When I was heading for this date, the $20 bill I was gonna pay the cabby with blew out the window. When I got to my date’s apartment, I found out she’d committed suicide. This sculptress lady I ran into covered me up in plaster of paris and I was stuck for a long while. Yada, Yada, Yada, when I tried to take the subway home, I found out the fare had increased overnight and I didn’t have enough money.
Giancarlo85
Porn stars lol… and these guys are sexy? I guess I have a different view of things lol.
Bad dates? Been on some myself lol. But didn’t rule out a relationship… I guess my bad dates have been more about bad luck out of my control. Went on a date and on the way to the restaurant, my date’s car got swiped by someone running a red light…
Duecer
Ah, what is was that with the first guy avoiding pronouns? So annoying, “this person” this, “this person” that. So unnecessary.
auntsharon
@lauraspencer: ‘Cauliflower ear’, a condition common to boxers, or these days, I think MMA is more likely. It’s caused by repeated trauma to the ear resulting in the build-up of fluids and the separation of the cartilage from the tissues which nourish it. The cartilage dies and the condition is irreversible.
Xzamilio
@jayj150: Dude, calm the fuck down… he asked if the dude was gay-for-pay, he wasn’t making a testimonial about it.
spiffy
@jayj150: I thought I read on some gay board several months ago that he was gay-for-pay; but I didn’t bother to confirm that before I made the comment. If he is indeed gay, that makes me like him more, despite his odd anecdote in the video.
@Xzamilio: Thanks for defending me. 🙂
YouGoGurl
Where are the sexy guys? All I saw was a bunch of mediocre dudes who sell their asses to the highest bidder…
YouGoGurl
I don’t think I could have had a worse, boring, weird, “incompatible” date than the one I had 20 years ago with the man who I’ve been with for 2 decades. As my dad always told me, “if you don’t like something, try it again, just to be sure.” Wise words. I married a gem.
vive
Hot guy problems. Yawn.
The gay equivalent of “first world problems.”
MarionPaige
@vive:
Josh Thomas’ character in “Please Like Me” says something to the effect that “we should be happy, we’re first world … yada yada yada”. Is this some kind of trend with the young’uns? Using First and Third World in conversation?
bigrawtop
@spiffy: The fake gay one is Colby Jansen. He used “they” the whole time to avoid she.