Supposedly “gay friendly” tourist destinations hoping to attract queer travel dollars are actually doing nothing to cater to the demo, reveals a new study from Out Now Consulting, which polled some 30,000 travelers around the world.
“These days, suddenly everyone wants to be ‘gay friendly’ and frankly, that has made today’s LGBT consumers extremely wary of the bona-fides of the welcome being extended,” says the firm’s chiefIan Johnson. “Even the phrase ‘gay friendly’ is pretty hackneyed and does absolutely nothing to rescue a holiday that can be ruined when a stay feels far less than welcoming for a lesbian couple because of their experience at check-in, or for two gay men when ordering room service to the honeymoon suite. The number one factor that LGBT travellers hope for when they travel away from home is an equal and genuine welcome, which means that travel providers need to improve their communications and behaviours. So that LGBT people can enjoy what every other customer has taken for granted for years: the chance to simply be themselves on their vacation. It seems obvious that when we go on holidays we all want to relax and feel comfortable. The industry needs to lift its game on the staff training front if it is going to deliver on the promises being made to LGBT travellers. The message to the travel industry is clear. It‘s no longer good enough to tick an equality box, fly a rainbow flag or join an LGBT trade association because that’s not going to deliver the level of experience that today’s LGBT customers want. Improvements need to be made.”
So what sort of things must destinations do to qualify as gay friendly? Let’s crowd-source this bitch. We’ll start with a few musts:
Make us feel welcome. We want to see ourselves in your marketing materials and advertising spots; partner getaways should be described in gay-inclusive terms. Don’t always ask a man checking in at the front desk if his wife will be joining him. And not every homosexual is a thirtysomething white guy, despite the above photo, so you best put a mix on display.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
We like nice shit. Hotels with fine linens. Happy hours with top shelf liquor. Sweets from chocolatiers whose names we can’t pronounce. Make us feel like we’re upgrading, or at least maintaining our lifestyle.
Cater to our interests. We like museums and fine dining. We also want to know where the gay bars are. Make them easy to find, and don’t make clients feel uneasy about asking for that information. Is there a queer film festival coming to town? Alert us.
Support your local gays. The Gays aren’t just image conscious about themselves — they’re image conscious about what brands they patronize. When we’ve got hundreds of choices, we’re more apt to go with a hotel or restaurant or jet ski company that donate to local LGBT centers. Because it makes us feel good about ourselves.
Your turn!
Mark
Okay, who proofreads this? “Supposedly “gay friendly” tourist destinations hoping to attract queer travel dollars are actually do nothing”
“”Are actually do???”” Huh? Let’s try are doing nothing or actually do nothing – get it together queerty…..
RJ
Come on Queerty…
Your “recommendations” are rank with stereotypes.
“We like nice shit”?
“Cater to our interests” only including gay bars, museums, fine dining, queer film festivals?
“Support your local gays” because it makes us feel good about ourselves?
This sickening attitude perpetuates an ideology of difference – one that can simply be replaced with “treat us with as much respect and dignity as you treat any other guest, ensuring that our stay is pleasurable, comfortable, and your assistance helpful”.
I know you were trying to be funny, but I’d caution you against speaking from the tone of “we gays”.
J.
@ RJ. Errors aside, I think they pretty much hit the nail on the head. In general, gays DO like nice stuff. Especially those who have the money to travel. So it’s not totally stereotypical when they mention that. I think anyone who goes to a hotel expects to be treated with respect, it’s the hotel knowing the local gay community and doesn’t bat an eye to two guys kissing by the pool is what I’m more concerned about.
Ann
I don’t want to feel like I’m the first openly lesbian couple to check in there. I want to refer to my wife and not have them bat an eye. I want to not get a lecture from the doorman about going hell for my sins (honestly happened in New Orleans). I DON’T want to be asked at check in if we want 2 beds when I reserved the Queen. I would like to see queers on staff at the location too.
RJ
J,
I agree. Behavior and safety is an important aspect in any hotel/company advertising itself as “gay friendly”.
An example being the Hyatt-Regency on Aruba advertising itself as “gay friendly”, I would feel that they are doing a great disservice to any gay patrons. While it is true that the staff may be trained and accustomed to gay clientele, the island itself is notoriously unbending when it comes to LGBT equality. The establishments on the island, particularly in the resort area, are extremely family oriented, and the island’s non-resort areas – especially at night – are generally unsafe (which means more unsafe for LGBT men and women).
A hotel can be as “gay friendly” as it cares to be, but that doesn’t make for a good experience if you’re going to be eyed, scolded, and experience hostility from the vast majority of other guests.
The “We like nice shit” comment simply read as a bit arrogant and pompous… I would refuse to stay at any establishment where I would be treated any differently – for better or worse – than any other guest… particularly taking into account less expensive establishments that may in fact be much more gay-friendly than your top-notch hotels… albeit without bells, whistles, and gourmet chocolates.
scott ny'er
this would have been a better post IF you posted destinations that were actually gay-friendly or solicited referrals from your readers.
Joe
Just because a hotel doesn’t do everything you listed, doesn’t mean they’re lying. That is a very broad statement and I think you should word your titles a little better.
—–
When my boyfriend and I book a trip/hotel, we’re not really looking for all that stuff. Maybe we’re just not interested in much of anything you listed above (e.g. chocolatiers…) because we don’t live too lavishly (we’re college-aged).
Instead of asking for things that separate us from everyone else, shouldn’t we want to be treated exactly the same? I mean, it’s ridiculous to think that the concierge should have a catalogue of everything “gay” in the city we’re staying in. I don’t think they specifically cater to straight people either. I might be wrong, though, because I don’t deal with the concierge too often.
However, I do agree that they should be able to tell you where the nearest gay bars are. That’s a pretty easy thing to do and probably a common question nowadays. Though I’m sure if you’re gay and on vacation you’ve probably done a little research before and know that there are plenty of bars in the area. It’d be very odd if you planned a trip and didn’t bother to check if there was any nightlife that interested you…
I have been to multiple hotels in several cities/states with my boyfriend and we have not had a problem yet. We’ve not been questioned about our bed choice or the fact that we’re staying in the same room together. We’re clearly not on business trips, so I can only imagine that they assume we’re dating. The reason we haven’t had any problems is that we’re going to places that are right for us. Don’t expect to go somewhere and have a good experience if you think the area might not be gay-friendly. There will be discrimination anywhere you go. Most of the time you can figure out the areas where it’s more prevalent. And if you didn’t expect any problems but there were (especially from a hotel employee), be proactive.
I know it shouldn’t be a lot to ask that everyone be friendly to you (at least on the surface), but it IS for many stupid “reasons.” Most hotels, even “GLBT-friendly” ones probably don’t donate specifically to GLBT causes. I don’t think that should be an important factor of whether or not you stay there. You’ll probably have terrible luck finding a hotel that does in that same area that has all the other amenities you want.
Hilarious
People actually worry about their destination being “gay friendly”? How will continuing to hide and be “different” change perceptions?
You keep comparing the gay rights movement to the civil rights movement but refuse to learn from those who fought for civil rights in the first place.
You have to be out in the open and be seen. People who hide are ignored.
Who cares if the place you’re staying is “gay friendly”(speaking only of the US obviously)?
The more people get used to seeing us and realizing we’re just like them the sooner we’ll get equal rights across the board. It’s harder to hate your neighbor than some faceless stranger you’re only hearing about from a bigot on Sunday morning.
Jimmy Fury
“We like museums and fine dining.”
God that sounds boring.
I’ll take mini-golf, a park concert, and some tiny hole-in-the-wall mom and pop restaurant instead.
uu
I do want to be treated differently for my sexuality because I am different. Otherwise I feel ignored, an outlier and unwelcome. They’d be mostway there if they could refrain from assuming that their guests are heterosexual.
JoeyO'H
@scott ny’er: I agree with you. That would be too easy for Queerty. To actually write an article with any jounrnalistic value such as naming the destinations and as you suggested Scott, inquire suggestions from their readers. I can’t believe this article is so stupid that I’m actually wasting my time responding but you raised good points for me not to.
RomanHans
First, I want friendly personnel. I don’t want the desk clerk to look at my boyfriend and then proclaim, as happened at the Chicago Hilton, that we must have made a mistake asking for a single bed. I don’t want to walk into the restaurant and have the maitre d’ look toward the door for our wives.
Second, I want a recognition of gay culture. I want the tourist information the hotel provides to include gay restaurants, gay bars, and gay neighborhoods.
Fine liquors and fine linens — you can have ’em. Next you’ll be asking for a cleaning service for your speedos.
Jaroslaw
Ditto 6 & 11 – Joey & Scott – I was sure this was going to be at least a partial list of WHO is lying about being Gay Friendly…..
ron
Anywhere that advertises itself as a gay destination is immediately off my list. Nothing is more tedious and dull than some trashy Provincetown, Brighton, Sydney, Montreal scene with all the same dim-bulb twits/drug snorting sluts in speedos/tight t-shirts. There’s a huge world that’s full of much hotter more discrete men and beautiful sights.
Teluride
@Hilarious- I like it
Michael
Who books a vacation without any advance planning? If I’m not totally assured what I want is going to be at my destination, I go elsewhere.
Captain
Guys… guys… I think the whole thing about “gay-friendly destinations” must be focused on the places where one is actually NOT welcome. You just make sure you DON’T go where you might get mugged or attacked for being who you are. Think of you going to the worst part of town at 1:30am and getting off from a white BMW with cash pouring out of your pockets… YOU WILL GET ROBBED! Just don’t go where you won’t be safe.
Yes, there are some guys who like fine dining and fine hotels and the museums and stuff… but not every city in the world have all those things… if you wanna taste what’s out there… then go out there and see the world but don’t expect to find fine dining in Cuzco, or Isla Grande, or Isla Margarita… There are many, many places around the world where you will find a great place to stay and an awesome experience you will never forget.
If you want the fine dining experience I suggest you stay in New York or Miami or Paris or London or Sydney, but the rest of the world… the other 99.99% of places will provide you with what others actually do and eat… what’s real for the rest of us.
If you wanna feel different but expect to be treated as equal… that is not going to happen… Just go out there and be visible, be like everyone else, bitching about the traffic or whether the bus was too crowded, or whether you’ll be able to stroll down main avenue without the rain bugging you or whether the beaches are too crowded to enjoy it. Don’t be judging if a hotel has the nicest sheets or pillows, or whether the tea wasn’t prepared right, or whether the A.C. was set to your preference…
Again, don’t expect to be treated as equals if you’re planning to be different in every sense… Once you’re different… you will be treated different. If you get down to earth… you will find wholehearted folks who will be willing to show you their little part of the world or guys who will actually talk to you. That’s my take on this. Sorry if I got anyone upset. And yes, I like a good pillow, but if I have to sleep on a hammock, offered by some local… I’ll take it. Just be safe… You can find eye-candy everywhere… you can find good food and good company out there and I bet you’ll have a great story to tell when you get back home… you just need to make sure you enjoy the trip.
TommyOC
To be considered gay-friendly, I feel a destination should do the following:
1) Advertise your gay friendliness in mainstream media. Not all us homos stay current on The Advocate or Instinct or whatever it is the kids are ready today. It also lets us know you value our business more than the blowback you’ll get from acknowledging it.
2) Host our conventions, meet-ups or whatever gay-centered event is happening in town. Make an effort to actively court those orgs looking for a place to hold their events and fundraisers. They’ll remember you when their friends ask for lodging recommendations.
3) Same-sex spousal benefits and non-discrimination policies. This one’s self-explanatory. How can you say you love our gay business if you don’t love your gay employees?
4) Don’t be stereotypical and stop pushing your mani-pedi combos as if that’s gonna get me to book with you. (As others have noted above,) If you think there is a single amenity that qualifies you as gay-friendly, then you don’t know us very well.
5) AND MOST IMPORTANT: Never, EVER apologize for our presence! Occasionally we stroll through your lobby holding hands, frolic by the pool, or peck each other on the lips in the hallway. This is normal behavior for gay and straight couples alike. So when a guest comes to your desk to complain about how they’re offended or how their children shouldn’t be exposed to our gayness, and how they want a comp, or a refund or a move to another room for no other reason than “teh gays” being in the same building – you say, “tough shit,” and let that stick! Doing otherwise is unforgivable.
RJ
Perfect, Tommmy. Brilliant post.
toyotabedzrock
Crazzy Idea here, instead of traveling so much,
DONATE SOME MONEY TO HELP HOMLESS LGBT YOUTH!!!
Or donate get this, you could help out LGBT college kids
SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO SELL THEIR BODIES TO STAY IN SCHOOL…
toyotabedzrock
Crazy Idea here, instead of traveling so much,
DONATE SOME MONEY TO HELP HOMELESS LGBT YOUTH!!!
Or donate get this, you could help out LGBT college kids
SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO SELL THEIR BODIES TO STAY IN SCHOOL…
Greg
Upon further reflection, however, I realize I am posting this on a blog founded by someone who worships the vapid whore Paris Hilton and should probably go elsewhere to seek solace over our ending up in the ditch.
Matt
Kind of crazy, that with a poll of 30,000, this article did not say who was the worst offenders… or who were best friendly LGBT destinations. Other than going to the all gay, cothing optional resort what are the best options/recommendations? Kind of lame reporting with not much detail other than stating what we already know; Gay friendly does not always mean GAY Friendly once “they” have your credit card number imprinted at the register.
Brian Miller
Who cares if the place you’re staying is “gay friendly”(speaking only of the US obviously)?
I do. If I’m paying a significant amount of money for a hospitality experience, I expect it to be, well, hospitable.
Todd212
Am I the only one who remembers this company that did the survey (Out Now) is the same one that was pushing South Carolina as a gay-friendly destination? Even as South Carolina was furious about that ad campaign produced by Out Now?
http://www.webwire.com/ViewPressRel.asp?aId=69820
jason
Hello all,
I was wondering if you could help me out by providing me with your views on these gay friendly, or not so friendly destinations. I have also being doing research on this topic and have found that some places are not so “gay friendly” as they pertain themselves to be. If you would please shot me an email on http://www.gayvacationgetaways.com, that would really help. Thanks so much for your help!