Fingers have been shaking ever since 34-year-old Daniel Simmons, the former Deputy Attorney General of Delaware’s Department of Justice, was accused and charged with raping a 16-year-old boy he met on Grindr.
Grindr’s terms of service clearly state a person must be 18 (or 21) to use the app:
- AGE RESTRICTION. THE GRINDR SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE FOR INDIVIDUALS AGED 18 YEARS OR OLDER.
- AGE RESTRICTED ACCESS. NO PERSONS UNDER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS (TWENTY-ONE (21) YEARS IN PLACES WHERE EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS IS NOT THE AGE OF MAJORITY) MAY DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY VIEW, POSSESS OR OTHERWISE USE THE GRINDR SERVICES.
- AFFIRMATION OF CURRENT ADULT STATUS. YOU HEREBY AFFIRM AND WARRANT THAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY OVER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS (TWENTY-ONE (21) YEARS IN PLACES WHERE EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS IS NOT THE AGE OF MAJORITY) AND YOU ARE CAPABLE OF LAWFULLY ENTERING INTO AND PERFORMING ALL THE OBLIGATIONS SET FORTH IN THIS AGREEMENT.
This begs the question: Is it fair to call Simmons a “rapist” when he may have very well thought the boy was of age? And should the 16-year-old be held responsible for knowingly violating Grindr’s terms of service and possibly deceiving Simmons?
Sound off in the comments section below.
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Aromaeus
He knew the boy was 16. He admitted to knowing the boy was 16. He is a rapist.
Cam
@Aromaeus:
Where did he admit to it? Do you have a link?
alphamaleii
screw that ,,the 16 yr old shouldnt have been on there ,,,PROBLEM SOLVED ,,,,im so tired of seein this kinda shit now ,,,the 16 yr old was baitin him just so he could do this kinda shit now ,,,wait until it happens ta yu i guess !!
nospecial
Sadly, mistake of age is not a defense to statutory rape in Delaware, as it’s not in most states.
wancell
@Aromaeus: I have not seen where he has admitted to knowing that the kid was 16. Given his field, you would think he would have known better but having said that the app is for Adults and his parents should have locked down parental controls.
I must say this is a gray area as it would come down to whether he could reasonably assume the the teen was of age. For all we know he could have been 16 looking like 20 something or the reverse 16 looking even younger. That will be for the judge and jury to work out.
With the advent of these apps, we need to find some way to keep underage teens off them, parents at least keep a better eye on your kids online activity. Older gay men, be more responsible know that if they look young then check their ID for both your sake.
nospecial
@wancell: As I just said, he could’ve checked the kid’s ID — and it wouldn’t matter. It won’t protect you. Mistake of age is not a defense to statutory rape. The kid could lie to your face, show you a fake ID and birth certificate and get 20 friends to swear that he’s of age, and you will still be liable.
Vaguy82
Even if he knew the boy was 16, he is not a “rapist”. There are dozens of states around this country that grant 16 year olds the ability to consent. As far as we know he didn’t force the boy to do anything and the boy is obviously old enough to make that decision for himself.
Polaro
Statutory rape is not the same as rape. It is a very different crime. It should be renamed for the slow among us who cannot seem to grasp the difference. The kid lying about his age is a serious mitigating factor. Being on a dating/sex app restricted to people below 18 is another mitigating factor. And why did this even become an issue? Money? Shame on Queerty for not identifying it as statutory rape in the first article.
AbercrombieMike
Here is an updated newspaper article from the local paper. There is more to the story, and yes, Daniel Simmons knew the guy was only 16. Link here:
http://www.delawareonline.com/story/news/crime/2014/05/05/details-emerge-delaware-deputy-attorney-general-sex-case/8727479/
nospecial
@Polaro: God, you people are slow. It’s not a mitigating factor because MISTAKE OF AGE is not a defense to statutory rape. Do I need to say this 40 more times?
BlackDragon727
@nospecial, “mistake of age” is not a legal defense to rape. But the question is should Mr. Simmons be called a rapist. If he made a reasonable mistake of age (which may or may not be the case), the question is should he still be considered a rapist. And the answer to that is clearly “No”.
Interesting by the way, in Delaware the age of consent is 16 unless the older partner is 30 or older. So if Simmons was 5 years younger, this would have been legal. If the boy was 2 years older, also legal.
MileHighJoe
Simmons is 34 and should not be dating anyone who could be confused with a teenager. Throw the book at this creep.
AbercrombieMike
People need to STOP TYPING “mistake of age.” This was NOT a mistake of age case. The newspaper story linked above clearly states that Daniel Simmons had a friend of us recruit the 16 year old on Grindr and bring him to his house for a threesome.
Article link here:
http://www.delawareonline.com/story/news/crime/2014/05/05/details-emerge-delaware-deputy-attorney-general-sex-case/8727479/
asby
I can see both sides …..But when u are an older man who goes after “chicken”….U probably should check ID
jayj150
Oh come one guys, this is a no brainier:
“…During the encounter, the boy said, ‘I’m only 16, take it easy on me,’ police said in court records.”
And: “The college student told police “he and Dan have talked in the past about Dan’s desire to engage in a sex act with a younger person, with the target age being a high school age male,” according to the court records. Upon his arrest, Simmons “confessed to engaging in unlawful sexual acts with the victim while knowing he was 16 years old,” court records said.”
nospecial
@AbercrombieMike: Hey moron, I keep typing it because idiots here keep bringing it up as a defense. It’s not. Even if he did make a mistake, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.
tardis
Queerty, come on. Rape is rape.
nospecial
@BlackDragon727: Mistake of age is not a legal defense to statutory rape either, and by the way, Delaware law defines the crime he’s charge of as “rape” — making him a “rapist” if convicted. “Statutory rape” is an invented term.
Vaguy82
He is not a “rapist”. He did not force the boy to do anything. Each and every one of you calling him a rapist on here is fully aware how society views the term “rapist”. Just because the so called crime is referred to as statutory rape does not make him a “rapist”.
kewlsocr
I know for a fact that gay apps & websites are full of high school teens with profiles that say they are 18 or older. If you were in High School today, you’d be on there too lying about your age. As has been noted, some states have a legal age of 16, but if its 18, and the teen lies, then there is a legitimate debate who is at fault. The problem is the arbitrary laws, and prosecuting guys who are consenting, regardless of their age. It’s a waste of time & money to try and police romance. If one of the individuals files charges of rape, that’s another story, but that is not the case here.
gskorich
if he knew the kid was underage then yes but this kid has to take some responsibility for this as well. he lied to this man and met up with him.
Aromaeus
He is a rapist and all of you defending him are disgusting.
Aromaeus
There have been two people who provided links proving he knew the boy was 16. Statutory rape is rape. Minors can’t legally consent to sex with someone older so yes it is rape and he is a rapist. Case closed.
jayj150
@Vaguy82: And just because your “double quote” a word, it doesn’t become invalid. Society might have different definitions of what a “rapist” is, but the state of Delaware has its own and this guy matches that definition completely. Too bad for him that’s the only definition that matters in this case. And for the 10th time, the kid DIDN’T LIE, he told him in advance he was 16, and not only was Simmons aware of it, he agreed to meet the boy PRECISELY BECAUSE he was 16. GUILTY.
money718
There is an extensive network of men who only sleep with underage boys here in NYC, and actually asked me did I want to be involved. The underage age boys let other underage boys know which older men will sleep with them and vice versa. It’s like an episode of SVU. As soon as I mentioned the authorities I was blocked.
coffeeaugur
If he knew the kid was 16, then he knew it was a crime, so now he’s gonna do the time, but being 16 myself at one time, I know that is is not rape when you consent and at 16, while you may not make the best judgements, you do know exactly what your doing. Put another way, if a 16 shot and killed someone, they would be tried as an adult. The system cannot have it both ways.
Jake357
I think this is a tough situation because where’s the onus to prove age? I mean, you have to agree that you’re 18 and even if you meet the guy and he “looks” young (whatever that means) how do you know how young is too young looking? Do you ask for ID? What if he has a fake ID. I mean, at some point don’t we have to look at this so called minor (and his completely negligent parents) and ask what role they played in this issue? It’s not like dude just jumped out of an alley and attacked this kid.
That said, this will be my last comment on Queerty. They pissed me off with their ads masquerading as articles. If you’ve read the post about the purple party in Dallas, some of you might have noticed that any negative comments about the event have been deleted. I posted a comment saying that was kinda strange and that comment was deleted. There are only two comments on the article and both gush over how great this event is and oh what a bargain. Considering Queerty lifts 90% of its content from Instinct, Advocate, The Backlot and others… I simply don’t see the point.
Billy Budd
Here in Brazil we call “rape” only non-consentual relations. Sex with underage kids is a crime, but it is not called rape.
T101
“Should Daniel Simmons Be Deemed A “Rapist” If Teen Lied About His Age On Grindr?” No. Enough is enough about 16 being to young for sex. Give me a break. Call me all the names you want. But I think if it is consensual 16 + should be the legal age. You’re not that dumb at that age – trust me. And for all you haters – you, at one time or another in your life felt the same way – so stuff it. What this guy is going through is hell. I’m in your corner Daniel Simmons (as long as it was in fact consensual.
Stache99
If you see an ad that says 18 years old you should already be suspicious. When a guy walks up to your door looking very much underage again you should be checking.
It’s my guess that he goes after the barely legals and if anything the kid showing up just excited him even more.
Alton
Unfortunately, Billy Budd, we here in the United States are ridiculously immature about the realities of sex. Because we view every instance of a grown man having sex with a teenaged young woman as a non-consensual act, we have to do the same to adult men (and women) when it comes to teenaged young men. Since we couldn’t entertain for a moment the possibility that a girl could willingly have sex with someone significantly older than she is, we have to pretend that teenaged boys…particularly teenaged GAY boys…are also “raped” whenever they indulge in consensual sex with an adult, despite the fact that teenaged boys are generally more than willing to have sex with anything they can stick their dicks into.
Stache99
@Vaguy82:The law in those states are set up so that a 16 year old can have sex with say a 22 year old. Not so that 30 or 40 somethings can have sex with them.
Stache99
@T101: Glad to know that NAMBLA is alive and well.
Stache99
@Alton: This guy is a predator and rapist and needs to be away for a very long time.
Yes kids can get horny and want sex. Let them have sex with each other but you as the adult need to say no.
Billy Budd
I never had jail bait in my bed before. When I was in the US I dated a 19 yo. The first thing he told me was:
“Don’t worry, I am 19”
Billy Budd
This happened after I gave him a tender kiss on the lips. The first one.
Will L
Oh, come on. The guy is 34 years old and he can’t tell that the kid might be 18 years younger than he is?!? Even if the kid lies and sets you up, an adult should be able to get some suspicion that it’s a minor. As far as I know, minors are not bound by contractual agreements so that “age restriction” is a moot point.
Lyceius
@nospecial:
Why don’t you stop replying to everyone, insulting them, and repeating the same thing. You have stated your fact ad nauseam. So shut up and let people have a discussion.
Blackceo
If it wasn’t forceable rape then no I don’t think he should be called one. I know the legal term will deem that he committed statutory rape I guess, and I’m assuming he will have to register as a sex offender. Now an idiot he can be called because he should’ve been checking IDs or just had a gut feeling that maybe this kid wasn’t legal. I know some 16 year olds who definitely look of age but if there is any question I wouldn’t take the risk. If I can’t call him a rapist I can call him stupid.
Throbert McGee
Whether or not Daniel Simmons is technically guilty of statutory rape or not, I am happy to call Mr. Simmons a HOMOPHOBIC BULLY.
After all, the 16-year-old’s testimony (“take it easy on me!”) definitely gives the impression that Simmons sexually bullied a gay teenager into doing certain things that the kid had not planned to do when he agreed to go over to “Dan’s house.”
And — I suspect — the reason that Simmons likes to sexually bully much younger guys is that he’s not at all comfortable in his own homosexual skin, and the power trip of dominating a gay teenage boy gives Simmons some delusion of Manly Manhood that compensates for his internalized self-loathing homophobia.
gskorich
@Throbert McGee: wow. talk about reaching into the mind of a 16 year old and trying to figure it out. I have a feeling mr simmons was probably not the kids first adventure. how many kids are up for three ways on their first try out? this kid downloaded the app himself, maybe out of curiosity but no one forced him to do anything he didn’t want to do. granted he was underage and the older guy should have not had sex with him but this kid has to take some responsibility for what he did.
Throbert McGee
@gskorich:
Gskorich, I can only assume that either (a) you still haven’t read the more detailed story that has been linked several times, or (b) you’re a card-carrying member of the National Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes, desperately trying to distract people from noticing your hobby.
Oh, so YOU have telepathic insights into this 16-year-old’s mind, Counselor Troi?
Billy Budd
I would never penetrate a boy who tells me “take it easy, I’m 16”. If this REALLY happened, the guy must suffer some kind of penalty for what he did.
money718
@Throbert McGee: I actually agree with this. I had sex (1st time) with an older dude when I was younger. I told him to take it easy (was curious about anal), but not expecting it. That bastard proceeded to bust me wide-open. Blood was everywhere. I went back home and of course couldn’t tell anyone. As I got older I was looking for him with a gun.
Throbert McGee
One would think it should go without saying to any intelligent grown-up that from an ethical/moral standpoint, “consent” to mutual J/O does not automatically imply “consent” to oral sex; and “consent” to fellatio does not imply “feel free to bend me over the sofa and stick your dick up my trash chute,” etc.
From a legal standpoint, laws may vary from one jurisdiction to another as to whether, say, a girl who consents to “go to third base” is implicitly giving her boyfriend permission to “steal home.”
But from an ethical standpoint, inviting an inexperienced young guy over to your house to watch some porn and jack off, but then trying to talk him into bottoming for you, is WRONG and SELFISH behavior, even if the guy’s 22 and it’s not illegal in any sense. And if you get the kid drunk so he won’t resist as much when you top him, from an ethical point-of-view you are a DATE RAPIST, even if the kid is of age and even though he’d given his full and sober consent to wankin’ with you.
Throbert McGee
I was tempted to make a really lame “bate and switch” pun there, but fortunately for all of you, I decided not to…
Throbert McGee
@money718: I’m very sorry that happened to you, dude. Older f*gs who take advantage like that are basically creating new clients for NARTH and Exodus, as far as I’m concerned.
(Seriously. I know quite well that some people get suckered by the snake-oil salesmen of the “ex-gay therapy” industry because homophobia on the religious right. But in my experience of talking to ex-ex-gays, more than a few of them also sought out NARTH or Exodus because they’d had the misfortune to get involved with certain seedy, creepy, exploitative elements in LGBT Rainbowland.)
Throbert McGee
And for your musical entertainment, here’s hunky gay singer/songwriter Mark Weigle performing “Rainbow Ride”:
Faggot
@Billy Budd: “Here in Brazil we call “rape” only non-consentual relations. Sex with underage kids is a crime, but it is not called rape.”
Portuguese terms:
rape = estupro
statutory rape = estupro estatutário
estupro a menor de idade
Do you learn another term?
idontwanttosay
if queerty actually did their job and found out a few facts they would notice that the boy checked the box stating he would “rather not show his age” and then told the person he met (not dan) that he was 16. this man took him to daniels house and he repeated again, “im sixteen just so you know.” Daniel then had sex with him and in the middle of the act the 16 year old said “take it easy on me im only 16” and he laughed and went harder. get your facts straight before making a post. at least look at the public police report
Bjk
It’s well establish in law that even a bar, which can only serve 18+, cannot be held responsible for someone under the age of consent getting into the bar, being picked up, and having sex with an adult. The same interpretation will be used here. The adult has the responsibility. Unfortunately, I’ve never heard what constitutes discharging that responsibility. An underage person can use a fake id, and the adult is still guilty. I think it is just willful blindness.
Bjk
It’s well establish in law that even a bar, which can only serve 18+, cannot be held responsible for someone under the age of consent getting into the bar, being picked up, and having sex with an adult. The same interpretation will be used here. The adult has the responsibility. Unfortunately, I’ve never heard what constitutes discharging that responsibility. An underage person can use a fake id, and the adult is still guilty. I think it is just willful blindness. Stay away from twinks.
tippy1408
@nospecial “Statutory rape” is not an invented term. It is a legal term used in many jurisdictions on the local and state levels (and in other countries) to distinguish different acts of rape and sexual assault from one another. Delaware has statutory rape laws, even if the act isn’t called by that term, because that is how the law defines rape pertaining to minors and those unable to able to give consent. Delaware breaks it’s rape classifications down into four degrees (for reference: Daniel Simmons is charged with fourth-degree rape, the lowest severity), indicating that the law recognizes a difference between some acts in regards to intent, malice and severity. So it isn’t wrong for commenters to refer to the crime by its commonly understood term. (http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm)
Although Delaware does not allow mistake as to age as a defense in most statutory rape cases (there is an exception in the state’s criminal code), an increasing number of states do allow the defense, following a California Supreme Court decision in 1964; due to the lack of criminal intent (or “mens rea” as Elle Woods would say) that mistake as to age presents. Daniel Simmons, however, did apparently admit to knowing the true age of the victim, so that defense is irrelevant in this case.
(http://search.cga.state.ct.us/dtsearch.asp?cmd=getdoc&DocId=22362&Index=I%3A%5Czindex%5C1999&Item=9767)
tippy1408
@nospecial: @nospecial “Statutory rape” is not an invented term. It is a legal term used in many jurisdictions on the local and state levels (and in other countries) to distinguish different acts of rape and sexual assault from one another. Delaware has statutory rape laws, even if the act isn’t called by that term, because that is how the law defines rape pertaining to minors and those unable to able to give consent. Delaware breaks it’s rape classifications down into four degrees (for reference: Daniel Simmons is charged with fourth-degree rape, the lowest severity), indicating that the law recognizes a difference between some acts in regards to intent, malice and severity. So it isn’t wrong for commenters to refer to the crime by its commonly understood term. (http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm)
Although Delaware does not allow mistake as to age as a defense in most statutory rape cases (there is an exception in the state’s criminal code), an increasing number of states do allow the defense, following a California Supreme Court decision in 1964; due to the lack of criminal intent (or “mens rea” as Elle Woods would say) that mistake as to age presents. Daniel Simmons, however, did apparently admit to knowing the true age of the victim, so that defense is irrelevant in this case.
(http://search.cga.state.ct.us/dtsearch.asp?cmd=getdoc&DocId=22362&Index=I%3A%5Czindex%5C1999&Item=9767)
Billy Budd
@Faggot: You are right and I was wrong. I didn’t know. I apologize.
toberlin
Tippy 1408:As far as I understand this is a ethical question because legally you call it “RAPE” in the US.In Germany you have different legal Terms. “Rape”=unconsentual sex or “sexual Abuse”/( sexual seduction of a minor)=can be consentual sex but still illigal.The “lack of criminal intent” of the adult person and the “mental maturity to consent”of the minor person is the question here to me.The Mr Deputy Attorney General was seeking for young guys on Grindr.He clearly KNOWS the terms and conditions of Grindr.The horny 16 might know the conditions but he clearly didn’t care about his “limited capacity of minors to contract”based on being horny and not based on being mature.It is the legal and ethical DUTY of the adult to care.The Deputy guy knew that he have ” illigal sex” with the minor because the minor told him that he is just 16 years old.So it is the JOB of the ADULT Deputy-Guy to CARE and to send him away.But he has preferred to F*CK .Does anybody belive here that the Deputy Guy would have cared and turned away the minor if he had told him he is just 13,14 or 15 years old?I don’t think so.So I would call it SEXUAL ABUSE .
Billy Budd
Yes, if the boy was scared, told him his real age (illegal in the US) and told him to take it easy, he should not have fucke*d the boy. I would definitely interrupt everything and ask for an ID. That s what he should have done. He made a serious mistake.
Here in Brazil I would not have to ask for the ID, because the age of consent is 14, but I would just certainly ask, at least twice, “do you really wanna do this?”.
toberlin
The Age Restictions for using GRINDR are the same worldwide…
toberlin
AGE RESTRICTION…
Cam
Apparently the guy did know the kids age.
“During the encounter, the boy said, “I’m only 16, take it easy on me,” police said in court records.
The college student told police “he and Dan have talked in the past about Dan’s desire to engage in a sex act with a younger person, with the target age being a high school age male,” according to the court records. Upon his arrest, Simmons “confessed to engaging in unlawful sexual acts with the victim while knowing he was 16 years old,” court records said.”
http://www.delawareonline.com/story/news/crime/2014/05/05/details-emerge-delaware-deputy-attorney-general-sex-case/8727479/
IzzyLuna
Yes, lots of articles were written about this, but this Grindr age restriction (although as weak as it is because no one follows it) can be his alibi.
Mezaien
@toberlin: YOU ARE RIGHT!! and it`s just like a underage lied to you and got some beer, or pot. Ignorance is NOT excuse.
toberlin
And even everybody lies about inches and ages on dating apps.Being horny and having sex is really a good Thing.But there is always also a legal or ethical Duty between humans
Aromaeus
Guys seriously, do any of you read an article on more than one site? He knew the boy was 16. The boy in question wasn’t even communicating with him on Grindr, he was talking to a guy closer to his age, who then talked him into go to the older man’s house. Simmons told this other guy he liked high school aged boys. The boy couldn’t legally consent. IT IS RAPE. Why is this so hard to understand?!
a308936
i logged into the article to see who wrote this “article” given the headline… and it’s exactly who i thought it was.
Kangol
Um, this man is (was?) a Deputy Attorney General, i.e., a lawyer, so he if anyone should know what the statutory laws of his state are. But even if he didn’t–which doesn’t say much for him, his legal training, or Delaware–he could and should have asked the boy how old he was.
There are old-looking 16 year olds, but even still, if there’s any doubt, DON’T DO IT.
And if you’re a lawyer, you sure as hell ought not to be breaking the law in this fashion.
toberlin
Aromaeus:I read all I could find so in the articles they say Simmons met him through Grindr and it was a 3 some Situation with a student.But only Simmons got accused.For the 1 more detailed one I had to register and I did not and answered the Queerty -Question like I said in the few of ethical/ legal terms (from German View).
Polaro
@nospecial: It is a mitigating factor, not a defense, get a life.
Polaro
@Aromaeus: Is it rape or statutory rape? The article indicates statutory rape. That is very different from rape. Did the kid actually say, “do not do that to me”, and the guy did it to him anyway? If so, that is rape and wildly different and much more heinous. The Qweerty story is unclear, as usual. It is also unclear if the guy knew he was 16 or not. If he knew he was 16 and went ahead then he is a moron. Once again, what Qweerty has provided is insufficient to reach a conclusion. The article leads me to believe he did not know the age, when a lot of comments indicate somehow that he did.
Polaro
@Aromaeus: It is statutory rape if it is only about age. It is rape if he forced the kid to do something he said he did not want to do. Big difference.
ardmhachian
No Daniel Simmons should not be held accountable or be labeled a rapist or pedophile. The 16 year old boy should not have been on Grinder and he is guilty of lying and he should not have been looking to hook up with another guy on Grindr because he should also have known that he was under the age of majority. Do we now have to ask to see ones personal ID to confirm the age in order to avoid being duped by an under-age individual. It also can’t be rape because it is the under-age boy who is seeking out another individual for sexual activity. It seems to me it would be consensual because both parties are exercising their own free agency to be involved with one another. Can it also be said of the sixteen year old of entrapment. Does he not take into consideration that such activity on his part (he knowing that he is under-age) that he is committing a crime and knowingly seeking out an older individual that it is not legal and that he is causing the other individual that he has sought out and setting up that individual of breaking the law.
Stache99
@ardmhachian: Do you just come here to spout off your opinion without reading anything? Try it sometime so you don’t come off looking like a knucklehead. It’s already been said the boy was up front about his age and how they really met.
Aromaeus
In what world is statutory rape not rape? Are you guys serious right now or am I being trolled? Saying it has to be forced undermines rapes done by coercion. When a man puts a gun to a woman’s head and says if she resist he’ll shoot her, is that not rape? When a woman in a managerial position tells her employee to have sex with her or he’ll lose his job is that not rape?
Yes, the 16 year old boy was using an app that he should have never been on in the first place. If they decide to do anything with that, it would be fine to do so. However the facts as I understand it are clear. Simmons is 34. The victim is 16. I don’t care how eager the boy seemed or how okay he was with it, he cannot legally consent. Stop putting the burden on a sixteen year old boy when a 34 year old man who is affiliated with the law SHOULD KNOW BETTER. This is the last comment I will make on this site because I’m seriously getting sick to my stomach with all this rape apology.
tippy1408
@toberlin: I agree that there is a greater ethical or moral question at hand. That is what I think Queerty was trying to get at and was trying to promote a discussion about, not whether Daniel Simmons broke the law (because he clearly did). My comment was in response to nospecial (and others) who were more or less dismissing statutory rape as a concept, particularly in criminal law, and dismissing mistake as to age as a criminal defense. My goal was to point out that statutory rape is a real and generally agreed upon subcategory of sexual assault that is treated differently by the law and by the general public. I was also trying to point out that, despite the facts in this case where Simmons knew the boy was only 16, mistake as to age is a valid criminal defense in many states and jurisdictions.
Ethically and morally, I tend to agree that there is a gray area within sexual assault. That gray area allows us to view some forms of sexual assault as more wrong than others. There is a difference between nonconsent (or diminished capacity) and an arbitrary age difference between two people that makes the younger “incapable” of giving consent. It removes autonomy from a person who, at age 16, is arguably capable of making decisions about their own sexual life. I think most of us would agree that by 16, a young man is a fully functioning and active sexual being. I know I was. Did Simmons take advantage of a young man? Yes. Was it wrong? Yes. Was it illegal? Yes. Was it as morally or ethically wrong as an adult preying on a young child (let’s say 8 years old, for example)? Absolutely not! Rape is rape and sexual assault is sexual assault, but not all are equally wrong or abhorrent. And I think most people see the difference.
You are entitled to your opinion on the matter, just as everyone else. But I prefer to refrain from making assumptions about what a person might do in a different situation, because that is not what happened. I don’t know what he would have done if the boy said he was actually 13 years old (and, to be honest, I don’t really care), because that’s not the case. Speculating about a fictional scenario, in my opinion, is completely pointless.
coltonblack
Difficult situation for sure. My own thought is that everyone needs top be mindful when talking online to people. If there is any question about a person’s age, my own thought is to simply pass. It is not worth it. Obviously, ask the person’s age but if you think something is not right, pass.
Interesting story!
DK
“Grindr’s terms of service clearly state a person must be 18 (or 21) to use the app.” Oh, well, that solves everything, doesn’t it?
The NAMBLA crowd is naive to point of retardation.
toberlin
tippy1408:
The reason why I speculate about the 13,14,15 year old guys is the “Age of Consent “with 14 in Germany.I try to translate the criminal intention/underage situation into a german situation.But I can totally understand that you see no need to speculate there and it is anyway in a legal case not very clever.
These age restrictions are sometimes annoying for the matured minors but protecting the immature ones.In law cases here its always about if the minor was harmed or too immature to consent vrs.was there a criminal intention of the adult.There is a little more legal space for the matured minors.
DK
@coltonblack: Mindfulness? Personal responsibility? Pfft. Why bother when “Grindr’s terms of service clearly state a person must be 18 (or 21) to use the app.”?
TSA regulations clearly state not to bring weapons or bombs on planes. So, let’s apply the Queerty standard for smart and responsible behavior, and just stop checking for hazardous materials. Because, you know, it was clearly stated. What me worry?
TheChrisBlake84
If the man had clear knowledge that the person in question was in fact underage, then yes, he should be charged with rape.
Now, as someone who DOES WORK in the justice department (I am an LCSW, and work with teens), I can see this from other angles as well.
The teen, did violate the TOS (Terms of Service) that Grindr has. He lied about his age, in order to have sex. Now, should he be held accountable for lying? Absolutely.
It seems like everyone involved did something wrong. The adult should have known better, and the teen, should have used better judgement. And where were the parents? This is just troubling…and it goes to say that when you’re using these apps, use them responsibly.
mobylakota
He had every reason to believe that this person was 18. No different then at a bar, you would not ask for ID at a bar when you wanted to date. This is where the laws are messed up. This teenager clearly represented himself as being older then he was. My cousin at the age of 18 had sex with his long time girlfriend who he had sex with before. Her parents did not like him but there was nothing they could do. They pressed charges of rape when he turned 18 since he was now an adult. (under 18 they can consent but when one is over 18 then it is illegal). He was only 4 months older then her and like me he did not know the law. He was a registered sex offender, could not go to his son’s school functions or sporting events, getting a job was impossible. He killed himself over it. This is not worth destroying this persons life. Now if he knew the teenager was under 18 I would be saying he knowingly broke the law. But the laws need to have an understanding of consent when both parties give the belief through being at a bar, having false ID, or on a site that requires you to be 18 years old.
JimboinLA
Lucky for this kid he lives in a state in a country where he can consent and then withdraw consent and the law ignores the original consent. Most countries in the world recognize that a sixteen year old knows what they want. You should always obey the age of consent laws so if you want to have sex with a sixteen year old go to Canada, Europe or a state where the consent age is sixteen.
DK
“He had every reason to believe that this person was 18.” You mean except for the part where you have absolutely no reason to believe without verification anything a random stranger from a hookup site tells you and except for the part where the kid told him he was 16 because he was specifically looking for underage hookups?
“No different then at a bar, you would not ask for ID at a bar when you wanted to date.” You mean except for the part where bars ask for ID from any young unknown who enters in order to not sell alcohol to minors and lose their license?
“But the laws need to have an understanding of consent.” No, citizens need to either have an understanding of age of consent laws in their jurisdictions or they need to start going after guys who are definitely adults instead of ones who might or might be adults, thereby saving themselves the trouble.
For those clueless gays who apparently cannot distinguish between kids and adults, here’s some help: “What do you do for a living? What college did you go to? Where do you live? Do you have roommates? Hang out at the bars?” Unless you are totally dense (as a handful of the posters here seem to be), it’s pretty easy for any guy with a modicum of social intelligence to ascertain the difference between adults and children — either by sight or by the simple introductory questions that normal people ask when they make acquaintance — without demanding ID.
This pretense that without ID you’re just absolutely clueless as to someone’s general age is another bull crap NAMBLA talking point.
Wishing, hoping, and whiny excuses won’t keep you out of jail, folks.
verygraybear
Only 16? I was “only 12” and I wouldn’t give up one minute of it. You have to realize I grew up in central Texas in the ’40’s. You can not “rape” a 12 year old in heat. I had learned a lot by the time I got out of high school and I’m still learning. But my teen-age years taught me how to survive without ever being lonely or mistreated. Maybe I was lucky but very, very lucky! Or maybe I was just a sweet, cute little thing who loved older men and got loved back.
BlackDragon727
The Internet is traditionally not a friendly place for either Logic or Honesty. But I’d like to give it a shot and see how the Internet responds.
Statutory Rape Laws exist to protect minors from being sexually abused and psychologically damaged.
Now let’s look at the instant case. (assuming the facts as stated in: http://www.delawareonline.com/story/news/crime/2014/05/05/details-emerge-delaware-deputy-attorney-general-sex-case/8727479/)
Question 1: Was the minor at issue objectively capable of consent?
Question 2: Did the minor at issue give free and voluntary consent?
Question 3: What was the harm in this specific case to the minor?
These questions are not relevant to whether or not a law was broken. But for those who believe strictly in the rule of law, keep in mind that in half the countries of the world, it is illegal for two consenting same-sex adults to engage in intimacy because of the moral disapproval of those nation’s respective majorities.
So instead of looking at the letter of the law, instead focus on the action and the harm?
drivendervish
Yes, Simmons is a child raper. It is beyond stupid to assume someone’s age based on an app their using or their presence in a 21 and up club. We all know there’s a lot of underage kids in bars some with fake ID and others with good contacts. A guy in his former position is smart enough to know that he should at least check ID when the kid that shows up for the date looks questionable. When the kid showed up all he could think about was how hot it would be to plow this chicken which is probably what his new cell mates will be thinking when he goes to prison.
jar
Statutory rape is a strict liability crime. That means that criminal intent (mens rea) is not relevant (in other words, it does not matter whether the kid lied, produced fake id, lied to a website, etc.). Because of the lack of criminal intent, strict liability laws are few and far between. They tend to relate to regulatory matters and cannot have a sentence beyond one year. Statutory rape is an exception. The law has determined that prior to a certain age, a young person does not have the requisite capacity to consent to sexual relations. The law is intended to hold adults responsible for ensuring that their young partners have legal capacity to engage in sexual relations. Frankly, I do not understand all of the whining from adults about having to live with this burden. Tough sh*t, I say.
As for whether he is a rapist, as someone pointed out above, “statutory rape” is the common parlance for this type of crime. However, the relevant statutes define statutory rape as one of the degrees of rape, not separately as statutory rape. By definition, this man is a rapist if he committed the crime with which he is charged.
I am unfamiliar with this alleged wave of revisions to the statutory rape laws to permit a mistake defense. This seems counter-intuitive to me, as such a defense would seriously undermine the express purpose of the law.
BlackDragon727
@jar:
It surprises me that there is a Queerty reader who would take the position: “The law is what it is. Tough shit.” Various states have a long history of dictating who may have sex with whom, irrespective of consent and desire. We had (and have) laws against adultery, same-sex intercourse, non-penis-vaginal intercourse, and interracial intercourse.
Protecting minors from sexual abuse and predation is a good idea. But is statutory rape a good vehicle for such protection? Statutory rape laws were originally developed not to protect minors but to preserve female virginity. (http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/02/13/findlaw.analysis.colb.statutory.rape/index.html?iref=allsearch)
But onto the question at hand. Rape is sex without consent. A rapist is someone who has sex with others without consent. Statutory rape is distinctly different because the individuals consent but the law designates the consent to be ineffectual because of the minor’s age (or in some cases, the discrepancy in age).
jar
@BlackDragon727: Fair point. I was speaking expressly about this law, not laws generally. That is, I do not take the position that we should just suffer under unfair laws. However, I support the public policy promoted by the age of consent/statutory rape laws. I think it is a small burden to bear as an adult to be responsible for ensuring that our sex partners are of legal age. I find the whining in the comments about the adult being duped (or worse yet, blaming the incompetent) to be selfish and distasteful.
BlackDragon727
@jar:
I think (I hope) that everyone agrees that adults who prey on children are a danger to society and should be locked away. That’s why I also support the public policy promoted (today) by the age of consent/statutory rape laws.
I also think “he/she looked old for his age” shouldn’t be considered as even a mitigating factor for statutory rape.
But I think there’s also a big difference between (1) a guy who is SEARCHING underaged children to have sex with (which admittedly may be the case here), (2)a guy who is APPROACHED by an underaged kid and DOESN’T CARE, and (3) a guy who is APPROACHED by an underaged kid and then DECEIVED to think the minor is an adult.
Statutory rape laws would punish the adult in all 3 cases equally. But should it? Shouldn’t the circumstances matter? Shouldn’t the harm matter? In Case (3) it may be the case that the minor isn’t harmed at all.
Brian
Queerty, this article is absurd. The man admits to knowing he was only 16. In fact, he specifically sought out someone under age 18. That was the entire point of the encounter. Age of consent in Delaware is 18. Since Simmons is over age 30, the “Romeo & Juliet” exception doesn’t apply.
This man is a predator, and he deserves to be punished. Sympathizing with him is absolutely disgusting. This article meets all the expectations that evangelical Christians and the GOP have about LGBT people. They call us predators and rapists, and here you are defending an admitted rapist. Please take this crud down!
Brian
@mobylakota:
No, he did not “have every reason” to believe the kid was 18. The kid actually said “I am only 16.” He used those words. Simmons knew, with certainty, that he was committing a crime.
Defending this man is beyond creepy. Y’all are living up to the worst stereotypes of gay men. Learn the facts, and please don’t support this criminal any more.
DK
@BlackDragon727: Is it to be the position of the gay community that statutory rape, age of majority, and age if consent laws are an injustice on par with miscegenation law and denial of marriage equality? Say what?
Sorry, but if insisting that it’s okay for teenagers to have sex with adults is the new cross upon which gay men want to hang themselves, y’all can die on that hill alone. These unsavory excuses for pederasty pop up on every article about gay high schoolers and sex. It’s embarrassing. And here all this time I thought homophobes were way insisting the gay agenda lent itself to sex with kids. Maybe Putin and his ilk are onto something?
The original purpose of the United States Constitution was to protect the rights of rich white men. So what? Our current understanding of it is different. Case law has kept statutory rape laws in place to protect minors from adults and from themselves. What difference, at this point, does the original intent make? Shouldn’t the circumstances matter if the minor isn’t harmed? In terms of sentencing, it already does. In terms of the validity of the laws themselves, no, they shouldn’t. The law has determined (correctly) that minors are going to harmed by sex with adults more often that not, and regardless who initiates due to relative physiological capacity. So if approached and deceived, the onus is — and shall remain — on the adult to walk away from any situation in which he *might* be sleeping with a minor and find instead a *definite* adult, or risk being branded a rapist. Choosing adult sex partners really isn’t that hard. And frankly, that some of you promote the laughable pretense that this is an unjust burden demonstrates why we need statutory rape law.
Forgoing the millions of known, smoking hot adults to get rocks off with “is he or isn’t he?” kids is not worth the risk, to me. But those of you who insist on taking the risk, as is your prerogative, need to accept the potential consequences and stop playing the victim.
@Brian: Whew, not all gays have completely separated from their brains.