Every wish you had a “time machine“? There are so many things we wish we would have said or done differently when we were younger.
Here are six pieces of life advice we wish we could give our 20-year-old selves 10 years later…
6. Be nice to the guys you hookup with
It can be tempting, after you’re lost interest in a dude, to simply ignore his texts until eventually he gets the hint. Just don’t. If you’re not into him anymore, just say so, kindly. Otherwise, one day, years from now, someone’s going to do the same thing to you and it’s going to make you feel lousy and like an idiot for ever believing it wouldn’t. And if you’re really unlucky, you’re going to find yourself standing behind your one-night-stand-from-five-years-ago-who-you-totally-blew-off-afterwards in line at the grocery store and you’re going to feel like a real jerk for the way you treated him. (Not that this has ever happened to us!) And you should. Because you were a jerk. And he didn’t deserve it. In fact, he looks kinda hot right now.
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5. You’re probably not going to marry the guy you’re dating right now
Sorry to break your heart, fellas, but your 20s are a period of profound growth and self-discovery. You’re going to meet a lot of people, sleep with a lot of people, date a lot of people, and break up with a lot of people, and each time, we promise, it will get a little easier. And, yes, we are aware that there are occasionally couples who meet fresh out of high school and somehow manage to live happily ever after, but the vast majority of us have to kiss quite a few frogs throughout our lifetimes, and that’s OK. Sometimes kissing frogs can be fun. Assuming they’re good kissers.
4. Stop obsessing about getting “old”
Let’s not forget it was only a few short years ago that you couldn’t legally walk into a bar and order a drink. You’re not “old.” And even if you are “old,” or “older,” who cares? It’s better than the alternative, right?
3. Go easy on the credit cards
Just because your bank gave you a $5000 credit limit doesn’t mean you actually have to spend it. Remember, it’s credit. Which means you’re borrowing it. Which means you have to pay it back. With interest. And that shit adds up fast. Think of it like this: The average interest rate on a credit card right now is around 15 percent. So every time you make a purchase with your Visa, mentally tack on your interest rate to the bill. That crappy Zara faux leather jacket might seem like a steal at $100, but not so much at $115, compounding monthly interest until it gets paid off or simply abandoned and your credit ruined for seven years.
2. Call your mom
It can be easy, during the daily craziness of your 20s, to conveniently “forget” to return your mom’s phone calls or to answer your dad’s emails. But they’re just your parents, right? They’ve always been there and they always will be there. Until they’re not.
Your folks could die unexpectedly at any moment. And when they do, it’s going to be more awful than you could ever imagine, and you’re going to wish you had spent more time getting to know them and supporting them when you had the chance. Suddenly that overpriced plane ticket home that you didn’t buy won’t seem so expensive, and you’ll feel a sharp pang of regret whenever you think back on those times you ignored your mom’s call because you were too busy with your latest trick to talk to her for ten precious minutes.
1. Everything will work out in the end
Perhaps one of the most agonizing parts of being in your 20s is not knowing what the hell you’re doing with your life. You look at people in their 30s and wonder: How did they get to where they are? How did they decide on a career path? How did they make it all work?
The truth is, they were once just as lost and confused as you are, maybe even more so. (Some may still be huge messes, actually.) Rest assured, you’re going to be fine. Things may not work out exactly the way you had hoped or planned. In fact, they probably won’t. But assuming you follow our advice, there’s a decent chance that, a decade from now, you’ll be in an even better place than you ever imagined, and you’ll look back on your younger self and you’ll think: What was I so worried about?
It all worked out in the end.
Related: An Open Letter To Ageist Gay Men
Bailey Bednar
How about something practical like ‘take care of your teeth’… they don’t grow back and are expensive to treat (veneers or implants).
Josh447
If you are over drugging eating sexing obsessing feeling victimized by the marriage debate, get help. Go to a support group. See a mental health professional for tools to deal etc. Discrimination can BE AN EFFING BITCH.
Glücklich
@Bailey Bednar:
Don’t forget eyes, skin, back and joints.
samcram07
Exercise a little every day and stay away from drugs and bad food. Don’t be lazy, party hard too 🙂
RIGay
@Bailey Bednar: My thoughts, exactly!
RIGay
Don’t forget – “Pass on the neck and face tattoo’s”.
Glücklich
MAX OUT 401(k) AND IRA CONTRIBUTIONS. If your employer matches, deposit the max match and think to yourself “How much free money DON’T I want?” If your employer doesn’t match, move on.
Work. Work work work. Make yourself indispensable but remember no one’s indispensable. Take *your* work personally but don’t take *the* work personally.
Start investing as soon as you can scrape together the minimum to open a brokerage account and BUY AND HOLD but don’t invest more than you can afford to lose. Money is not everything but it does make things so much faster. Don’t focus on buying things so much as buying speed and convenience.
Don’t feel pressured to get married, buy property, or have kids.
@RIGay:
Absolutely. Applies to hand ink, too. I waited until I was 30.
Glücklich
Not every situation is an opportunity for activism. Pick your battles. Sometimes we need to operate in the world as *it is* and wait until we’re in a position to operate in it as we’d *like it* to be.
Patience and grace are the queen’s jewels.
Bauhaus
After college, I packed a rucksack and landed in London, which turned into a year of traveling around Europe. I wish I had made it two years instead of one. I took the advice of a beloved college professor and travelled *before* I commenced my professional and family life.
If you’re in your twenties and haven’t gone to college, go. If college isn’t your bag, acquire a marketable job skill. Find a mentor at work and befriend smart people you admire and trust.
Travel as much as possible. Traveling opens the spirit, mind and heart, and heightens all of the senses. Start exploring the world early and make a lifelong commitment to discovering different cultures and lands.
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
Was this you? Going by Inga at the time?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YASXnxeBsLE
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Yikes, have we met?
dannyal
being out of the closet doesn’t equal happiness.
having a boyfriend doesn’t equal happiness either.
but, in order for you to truly believe me, you will have to have gotten out of the closet and have had a boyfriend first. 🙂
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
I’d help you with your “HhhRRRROOOOK-sack” any time.
martinbakman
@Glücklich: You nailed it. Work hard. Avoid credit card debt. IRA/401K starting now. Don’t take shit personally @work. And leave it there.
I would add avoid tanning and tatoos. You’ll look so much prettier later.
samcram07
@Bauhaus: YES!
Glücklich
@martinbakman:
I do have tattoos. We’ll see what happens. Hence taking care of one’s skin.
DavidIntl
Being something of a romantic, I have to disagree slightly with advising young guys that they probably won’t stay with the guy they are with now. I had that fairy-tale relationship where we were virgins who had come out for each other. We ultimately lost it largely due to pressure from his Christian family, but it was really a special thing and not to be disparaged.
My advice to young guys? Life is short and the world is a large and diverse place. Don’t spend too much of it living on any one continent.
bottom250
Thank you men for your wise words for us barely in our 20’s.
onthemark
Since this is Queerty, you probably should have included #7. Don’t obsess over straight guys!
Glücklich
@bottom250:
Let’s not flatter ourselves, shall we? Is 28 *really* barely in one’s 20’s?
You know I’m just ribbin’ you.
QJ201
Be nice to men over 30, you’ll be one of them one day soon enough
Clark35
@onthemark: Indeed, it would be nice if queerty actually followed your advice though.
NateOcean
If you smoke, Stop. Now.
You’ll be healthier, feel younger, and be way ahead financially.
============
You should probably cut way down on the drinking too.
If you must drink, drink “socially”.
Social drinking is not passed out drunk in your room every night.
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Oh, and buy and hold all the Google, and Apple stock that you can get your hands on.
Trust me on this one.
PamelaMcIntosh1234
???? Start your home business right now. Spend more time with your family and earn. Start bringing 78$/hr just on a c0mputer. Very easy way to make your life happy and earning continuously. Start here….++++++
www.CareersToday50.com
1EqualityUSA
Belongings own you. Be free of stuff. Purge your junk.