By Graham Gremore · 90 comments· Updated on January 29, 2024
In Tinseltown, where image and perception often steal the spotlight, the talk of the town has occasionally turned to which of our beloved big shots has the smallest penises in Hollywood.
And while the saying goes: “it’s not about the size of the ship, it’s about the motion of the ocean,” these celebrities have found themselves in discussions about their, shall we say, modest endowment.
Scroll down to see the owners of the smallest penises in Hollywood (allegedly):
Ashton Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher at the press conference for Entertainment Industry Foundation
Back in 2008, the vivacious Brittany Murphy had some spicy thoughts on Ashton Kutcher’s romance with Demi Moore when she quipped to David Letterman: “Well, it seems for him, age is just a number, and for her, size is… not a deal-breaker.” Remember, Ashton and Brittany had a little fling back in 2002. But alas, the whispers about Ashton’s, well, shortcomings gained traction after his split from Demi, making us all realize that maybe Kelso’s swagger didn’t quite match the legend.
In a scathing interview back in 2007, Kim Mathers, Eminem’s on-again-off-again wife and, you know, his muse for some rather intense lyrics, spilled the tea to a Detroit radio station. She didn’t mince words when she shared that the legendary rapper wasn’t exactly packing in the size department. To add a cherry on top, she also mentioned that their intimate endeavors left something to be desired.
Plus, in an interview with MTV, he outright admits he has a small penis. At least he’s honest?
Nick Cannon, despite potentially having a billion kids post-divorce from Mariah Carey, isn’t necessarily packing heat! In a 2011 interview, his former fiancée, model Selita Ebanks, succinctly summed up both his kissing skills and his manhood size with just one word: “Eh.”
But a decade later, while hosting for Wendy Williams, it seemed like his “andouille sausage” (a fans words, not ours) was making an appearance through his pants, leaving us all with one burning question; Nick, was that a trick of the eye or the real deal?
Shia LaBeouf
When it comes to Shia LaBeouf, his acting skills are unmistakably sharp, but rumors about other aspects of his life have been less clear-cut. Despite facing allegations of “relentless abuse” during his past relationship with FKA Twigs, one thing LaBeouf openly admitted is that he’s not exactly packing a Hollywood blockbuster in his pants.
“I remember putting a pillow underneath [my girlfriend] because I had seen that in a porn movie,” he told Playboy. “It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed…and clearly this wasn’t the move.”
Disney’s most recent releases prove things are finally changing.
Nick Lachey
He made our hearts (and maybe other parts) throb when Nick Lachey sang “You say you want a man to give you good loving” back in his 98 Degrees days. But as rumors swirl around this pop-star-turned-reality-host, it begs the question: can love truly be blind, especially when it comes to, well, size?
After their surprising divorce at the end of 2005, pop singer Jessica Simpson reportedly gave an interview in which she confessed: “Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much. I faked the whole thing. I really felt sorry for him; I still loved him though.”
Since his days with the pop princess, Lachey found love in the arms of the stunning Vanessa Lachey (formerly known as Milano) when they tied the knot in 2011. They’ve since made waves hosting Netflix reality shows, proving that even if certain rumors about his size hold any water, it’s pretty clear that it doesn’t matter one bit to Vanessa!
Enrique Iglesias
We imagine it’s hard to “stack” up to a Dad who’s reportedly slept with over 2,000 women. But the handsome Latin crooner has light-heartedly poked fun about the size of his dong for years.
In 2005, Enrique Inglesias even teased about launching a line of extra-small condoms, saying, “I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it’s really embarrassing for people — you know, from experience.” Then, in 2011, he candidly declared, “I have the smallest penis in the world” during an interview.
But hey, if Anna Kournikova doesn’t seem to be bothered, who are we to judge? The two have been happily married since 2001, back when he was begging us to let him be our hero.
From Katy Perry to The Weeknd, check out these 10 problematic pop songs that should be left in the past.
Leonardo DiCaprio
It turns out that not even Hollywood’s golden boy, Leonardo DiCaprio, can escape the watchful eyes of Mr. Man, a database dedicated to male celebrity nude scenes. These folks must have had quite a bit of free time to indulge in the unusual hobby of scrutinizing and ranking actors based on their manhood.
But to our collective surprise, our dear Leo found himself making an appearance on this rather unique list.
And what’s the clincher, you ask? The decisive evidence was drawn from his role in the 2004 film “Total Eclipse” where his package barely managed to cast a shadow.
Back in 2004, Colin Farrell left little to the imagination when he candidly remarked to a reporter that the size of his manhood was “ain’t nothing to f**king write home about.”
But fast-forward to 2006, and a 14-minute sex tape featuring Farrell and Playboy model Nicole Narain (NSFW) suddenly made its way onto the internet. The spicy video swiftly putting an end to any doubts about Colin’s endowment.
As it turns out, he not only had something worth writing home about, and he’s got one very filthy mouth.
The late, gay director behind ‘The Lost Boys’ made a Vietnam War movie that was just as homoerotic.
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I have to say that I find something incredibly sexy about an attractive muscular man with a smaller penis. I actually find giant oversized penises to be a turn-off, so I would take these guys any day of the week.
If an ex says a man has a small dick they’re usually fkng liars, that’s the easiest way to disparage a man you’re still bitter about because no one can prove you wrong w/o a dick pic.
Also, if you watch the interview, Brittany Murphy totally says she was kidding a few times over.
interesting…… I actually credit my less than ‘jaw dropping package’ with keeping my alive. I came of age during the height of the aids crisis in the early/ late 80’s. Seeing guys wag their little fingers when talking about others’ dicks kept me out of the baths and from sleeping around like I so wanted to do. Young and insecure, I couldn’t bear to be the one gossiped about- it was a small gay community and EVERYONE knew everyone.
So if Collin Farrel’s small penis has already been debunked, why was he still included there? He doesn’t have an “alleged” small penis anymore since we already know it’s not.
I remember a queen once accusing a straight acquaintance of every vile act short of orchestrating the holocaust. The guy had bad breath, he never washed, he stole his mother’s social security checks, he once saw the guy kick a dog, and on and on until he delivered the coup de grâce: “And what’s more, he’s got no dick!”
hmmm, a bit harsh on Bonaduce aren’t ya? i didn’t look at the NSFW pic but his body is pretty freaking good. didn’t queerty run an article on how hot redheads are a while back? there’s a certain demeaning tone to the ‘puff of red pubes’ comment. just saying.
@Homophile: For actual personal usage, girth is my problem. Only a “pencil” dick will fit inside of me. (Results of having Crohns disease since 1976) Hubby can’t even fit the tip in, much to my frustration. Thankfully, he’s only interested in what my front side has to offer when it comes to putting tab A into slot B. Growing up, my brother convinced me I had a micro dick. It was only much later when I started to see other men’s erections that I found out that I’m slightly above average. Very much a grower, not the donkey dick shower that he is. Thanks bro, for years of inferiority complexes in that department, although like Hudson, it probably saved my life.
One of my most satisfying experiences was with a guy much shorter than me with a small penis. He was very masculine and nice muscular body (not overly muscular), bubble butt, blonde, great kisser and great conversationalist. We met online and only met once but it was definitely memorable. Penis size is very over-rated if you ask me.
@hudson: I looked at the NSFW pic. I knew what to expect — and I don’t think I’m the shallowest size queen — but still I was rather surprised. I’ll admit to having some size worship but I’m more concerned with a guy’s face and general body — than one body part. Of course, personality goes a long way too. I’ll concede Bonaducci does have a nice body.
@Pistolo: I usually agree that the ex-wifes or ex-girlfriends are probably bitter. On the otrher hand though, you can be sure if Eminem really had a huge penis he A) would have shoved it into our faces and B) he would have fought back by writing a song and telling the whole world it wasn’t true. Since he obviously does have a small wiener, he’s better off being silent.
Most of the other celebrities make sense: Jon Gosslin is half Asian, as far as I know and Asian men do have a smaller penis by average. Of course there are many exceptions. This is why Nick Cannon is a surprise to be on the list. However the reaction to his penis size of his ex was just “Eh”… which could also mean she’s really just bitter and he is average.
I don’t believe for one minute that Nick Cannon has a small package. Usually his type, 6 feet tall, slim defined body, kinda skinny legs, tends to be well endowed. I’ve seen it many times. Mabey his ex, “Eh”, was more about his kissing than his penis size. From what I’ve seen, dude can’t kiss worth a damn…
@blackhook: He’s got a much bigger house than most ghetto blacks and he doesn’t have to have iron bars on the doors and windows either. Hell, you could fit 1,300 Mexicans in that thing too.
I don’t care what Nick Cannon has or doesn’t have, he’s so adorable it drives me crazy. And he does have the richest, most successful wife in show business so he must have something going for him.
Penis Shaming
It seems to be totally acceptable for a woman to say of an man that he has a small dick, it’s the perfect put down, it implies he isn’t man enough. And it cuts deep, it goes to his deepest insecurities.
But if a guy went around saying,
“Her loose cootch was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much. I faked the whole thing. I really felt sorry for her; I still loved her though.” Imagine the backlash from the women because that’s called slut shaming and they really don’t like it. It’s a double standard.
This was the one of the only women he is actually confirmed being with, combine this with the homophobia and to me its clear he is a closet case. He’ll never probably come out until he is 60 or something but Im telling you its only a matter of time.
That Bonaduce pic…well, I give him credit for being brave enough to show that micro-nub to the world.
Now, Queerty, why don’t you do a companion piece on the alleged best endowed men of Hollywood? Or pro sports? Or the entertainment energy more broadly? Or did you do that already?
I can’t remember, maybe you did, but doing it again would be a nice Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Holiday gift to all of us on here!
@Pistolo: Exactly, I kept thinking to myself “And we’re suppoesd to believe what every ex gf says?”
What is the point of this article anyway, to make guys feel ashamed? The only people who should know about something so private are the ones you’re sleeping with.
That’s a shame about Eminem! I’ve had many dreams and j.o. sessions about him. I’m still a virgin, so maybe it’s a good thing he is on the less than average list.
@hudson: You and many others…myself included, I’m average and many have been very happy with many repeat performances. But, my own insecurity to to measure up to Porn Star standards have always kept me a wallflower. And my larger than average friends are all dead now, some because of AIDS others OD-ing Drugs do to a lot of sexual activity, so we should count ourselves Lucky.
Honestly it’s all in you head anyways.
I just don’t know how you can tell. Some are showers and others are growers. I’ve never been able to tell. Ever. Then of course there are those who don’t give a damn. Count me in that group. What does it matter if you fall in love despite size? Overly sexualized guys are too much into the measurement tape that measures from the ass to the mushroom. Less than 10% of us have over the average.
I have never understood the fascination with big dicks. I would never discount a relationship with anyone based on that sole factor. I’ve had really horrible sex with very well-endowed guys, and mind-blowing sex with smaller guys. And, the opposite is true as well. A guy I knew in college was actually kicked out of bed for being too small. He’s carrying 6.5″. That mindset is just very, very sad.
Ashton is awfully good looking but a bit of an ass. After his brief fling with Murphy, he told the gossips that she was easy to bed, which showed us more about him than about her. (Whatever happened to the rule against kissing adn telling?) Ashton has a bit of an ego problem. Murphy might just be getting even, tough it would not surprise me that he is small. Demi Moore should have had more sense than to hook up with the guy. Now, Colin Farrell….
So appreciating male genital endowment makes one “shallow”? Who appointed you the Head Queen and arbiter of what’s deep and what isn’t?
You can’t understand “the fascination with big dicks.” Some people like red hair or blonds, some people like to see and have sex with men with big dicks, some people like to see men with beards and stroke them, you name it. That doesn’t make any of these people “shallow.” Or is it only shallowness if it’s something you don’t like or care for?
@dukeofhurl: YOU’VE GOT THAT RIGHT ! I’m Gay – so what !? Penis size – what an idiotic concept. If the Man will Love, and be honest; I don’t give a flyin’ fuck, what the size of his dick is. I am more concerned with the size of his heart. –DJ Lawrence
I must comment on why is this article relevant? Why in the age of the classy Phag (the Gay Gentlemen), do we even care what any man has in his drawers? Queerty this is NOT what I call ‘keeping it clean’… This article is very distasteful not only to the reader (me for one), but also for str8’s who are looking for any reason or excuse to call us perverts.
@Kangol: yes, i must agree… But, this is NOT the forum for this kind of topic. We (Gay Men) especially 40+ who survived the AIDS epidemic should note that promiscuity is dangerous, and discretion is a must.
Colen Farrell is only a little above average (I am right at 9 so his is little compared to some of us. ) , seen the sex tax and was not that impressed. Not a fan of bi-racial sex tapes, but I would agree he is pretty hot at providing a good fuck. Ashton I am sure has more than average, just his built shows that. As for the rest we can only guess. Ex’s always want to talk smack …Enrigue is so HOT who really cares I bet he is very patient with his actions. And @SPIKE, Tom Daley is very well endowed (seen his nude real pictures. , don’t hate most gay men are HUNG….that is why women love gay men. LOL. And trust me or I think that most or it not half of the men listed here has experienced in the sexual habits, admit it or not. Good looking men explore and hung men like oral from male or female. Just saying. Be kind to one another folks, life is to short and so are some penis’s LMAO.
@jckfmsincty: Brad Bitt has a very small penis yet he has been voted sexiest man .. Never been a big fan of his except in his younger days when he has long hair. Brad has such a attitude and a cheater so I lost respect for him. He is getting old and so his the attention toward him.
@Thumperlndy: You are telling people to be kind, yet you have no problem expressing your racism. And I’m willing to bet that most gay men are NOT hung. Most are average just like the general population.
And most men, hung or not enjoy oral sex. And , ( his younger days when he “has” long hair). What the hell does that mean? Had to reread your post five times to understand what you are trying to write…
I don’t believe these claims from ex-partners. They’re usually just spiteful girlfriends. Also, why does no man ever mention the big vagina. To quote Larry David “These large vagina women are getting away with murder”
Something seems quite sad to me about how we entertain ourselves by degrading people. Yes, I get that’s the price people pay for fame and fame makes them fair game but at the same time it just seems pretty awful to put this kind of thing in lights. Why does it entertain us so? Because our egos are so damaged that we need to debase people in order to feel better about ourselves? Maybe one day we will all love ourselves enough to then love others. I guess till then we can expect plenty of this.
Until you see a penis FULLY erect, it’s hard to say how big somebody is- some are growers not showers, a lot of other things can affect to how big a dick looks when flaccid. I mean, that is something that every guy should know. That picture proves nothing of Danny’s size.
Okay, nobody cares (not even me), but for the record, Barry Manilow. Hung. I used to live in the same apartment building on CPW and he was a floor below me across the air-shaft. He was naked a lot. He never knew I was looking. Nice bod, nice and hung. Also, no surprise, Jan Michael Vincent. Hung. Was at the urinal next to him at Lincoln Center (the reception for Winds of War), so of course, I looked. (yeah, I waited for him to pee and followed him). Nice, hung, fleshy, looked fat. He was young and handsome back then. Finally, sadly, Chris Reeve, no dick whatsoever. None. Zeeeeero. He used to hang with my friend Greg and often wore just running shorts, commando, and a tee shirt. You could see everything. Which was … nothing. Hung like a 9 year old boy. Way below average. Such a disappointment. But he was cute, wasn’t he?
@dannyboi2: you and hudson have it right. i am average and attractive, but never had the confidence to go to the baths or put myself out there too much. in the 80’s i was a bottom and would have contracted AIDS in a second. being circumspect saved my life, literally. god bless my friends who died of this frightening disease. i remember each one fondly.
Clearly this list must be pretty accurate. I mean, their sources are ex girlfriends! Not only would they know better than anyone about their dick size, but they would also tell the truth and not be at all bitter or spiteful after the breakup. Women, and exes in general, just don’t do that sort of thing!
I had heard Colin was hung, so it’s nice to know there is photographic evidence at least somewhere.
As for the others who had comments made by other people who had seen their dicks and not by the individual themselves, sorry, but when you’re talking about disparaging comments from “exes” their credibility to me is a big fat ZERO.
Please, large penis or not, if Eminem, Ashton Kutcher, etc wanted to get me naked, my clothes would be off so fast….And dat ass and bank account. They’ve sure got those
@pauleky: I’ve had some of the most horrible sex with guys that look like models, and mind blowing sex with average looking, average endowed guys. But yeah, there really is such a thing as too small. I don’t want a clitoris, I want to play with a penis
@Daveliam: Even big stars can have small packages, so we regular guys can feel a little better. One thing we can do is focus more on health, less on size; using a top drawer penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) can help keep maintain tool health.
.….”Captain Kutchie” Never Makes Up Stories But If He Did
It Would Probably Be About As Good As The One That You Are About To
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….We Heard A Few Years Back That
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Have To Be “The Lovely –Mrs. Anita Pelaez” The Queen Of The Key Lime
Pie World!
….I sure hope that this will be a great opportunity for
everyone to see some of “Don Rickle’s Scenes” from his productions of
his classic hits “The Tales From Kutcharitaville”. You Do know that Don
Rickles and Johnny Carson together produced those comedy hits about
their friend “Mr. Kutchie Pelaez” and their wild and crazy exploits of
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What a Hoot Those Classic Hits Surely Were. Don’t miss them, be sure to
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Available In A Boxed Set. Maybe Try Amazon. Good Luck With That….
You
Know, It’s No Wonder That Everyone Calls “Captain Kutchie Pelaez”..The
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Those Wonderful Mixed Drinks Named In His Honor Called “Kutcharitas”.?.
There A Hell Of A Lot Better Than Any Mexican Beers. And Much Stronger
To Boot!…You Could Almost Hear The Song Now…”Wasting Away Again In
Kutcharitaville”.!…What Do Ya Think? Not Bad Ahh!…
….That Sunken Ship In The News These Days,
….It’s
Been Resting Down On The Bottom Of The Sea Since Way Back In 1857, “Mel
Fisher” Even Overlooked That One!… “Yankee Jack Pittorino” and “Micheal
McCloud” Now Have Reason To Write Another Song…(Hint-Hint-Hint) “Jack”
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….Good
Thing That All The ….(“Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West Key Lime Pie
Shops”)..Are All Showing Increasing Pie Sales Throughout All They’re
Areas Of Distribution. Consumers Just Never Seem To Reach They’re Fill
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Isn’t She
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….Don’t
Cha Just Love Em!?….We Sure Do!….It is A Well Known Fact That “Captain
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And The Rama In The Rama Lama Ding Dong!.
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….”Very Interesting”!….
….”Frankie Valli and Kutchie Pelaez”..Did Make-It As Big As “Frank Sanatra”.
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A Few Wise Guys They Certainly Were “Frankie Valli, Kutchie Pelaez and
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….Mafiosi
Wanna-Bee’s. The Key Lime Pie “Wild Bunch”. They’ve Got Everyone
Shaking In They’re Flip-Flops!….”Even “Jimmy Buffet” Doesn’t Know Where
It’s Safe To Hide-Out”!….Especially Since Everyone Found-Out That
“Captain Kutchie Pelaez” Was The One Who First Came-Up With The “Goody
Goody”…“The Original Cheese Burgers In Paradise” And Kutchie’s Buddy
.“Levi Stubbs”. Of The “Four Tops” Helped Him Name Them Way Back In The
Early 70?s.
….Eli Wallach, Be Careful, Don’t Eat The “Cannoli’s”!…They’re Killer Man!….
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….I’d
Give My Left “Nut” To Set Down With “Captain Kutchie Pelaez, Frankie
Valli, Terry Levi, Joe Pesci, Bob Gaudio, Bob Crewe, Paul Shaffer, Bob
De Niro, Tommy DeVito, Martin Scorsese, Clint East Wood, Bob Newhart And
Yankee Jack Pittorino”! Rub Elbows And Shoot The Shit With That Whole
Crew Of “Good Fellows” Or “Wise Guys” Or Whatever The Hell You Want To
Call Them!….”Who Wouldn’t”?….
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Sang “My Eyes Adored You” And “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” To His
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Story To Us!…A Very Good Yarn! “You” “You’re Good You”….
….That
“Captain Kutchie” Always Lands Back On His Feet. No Matter How Tough
The Situation Is He Always Comes Back Up On The Top Of The Heap, King Of
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How Down The Chips May..Appear!…… Remember That He Is Not Only “The
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“Captain Kutchie” Is Also Considered “The Most Interesting Man In The
World”!….Why Else Would Everyone Be Talking About Him And His
Adventurous Wild And Crazy World Exploits, Treasure Hunting And
Exploring, The Megalodon Teeth And Oh All Those Giant Reptile
Exploits?…To Say “The Dude” Really Has Balls Is Quite An Understatement
To Say The Least!….
….His Drop Dead Gorgeous Wife “Anita”
And
They’re Famous Key Lime Pies!….They’re World Famous Historic Key West
Kutcharitaville Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill, Home Of The Famous
“Goody Goody” Cheese Burgers In Paradise!….All Conveniently Located In
NC Near The Famous “Biltmore House And Estate!….
….Yeah, You’re Good You. No You’re “DAMN GOOD YOU”….
….Also Add “The Two Yutes”….”What’s A Yute”? You Might Ask. Just Ask “Yankee Jack”…..
…Marriage
Lasts Forever and Ever, Two People Become One! A Covenant Between A
Husband, His Wife And The Lord “Jesus” The Christ! Marriage, The Same
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Just
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….”Captain Kutchie” Never
Kisses Ass But If He Did Kiss An Ass It Would Probably Be His Beautiful
Wife’s Ass!….You Go “Captain Kutchie”!….
….”Captain
Kutchie”
Always Said That To Him That “James Garner” Was To Him One Of The
World’s Most Interesting Persons. So I Guess That This Key Lime Pie
Should Be For You This Month “ROCKFISH”…(RIP)!….
….Only “Jim Rockford” Could Have Came Close To “Fred Thompson” In “Persecuted”, Fred Really Nailed It In This Flick!….
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….Who Dat, Dat Say “Who Dat” Every Time Dat I Say Who Dat, “Who Dat”?….
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….At A Time Like This, I Can’t Help But Think, What Would “Captain Kutchie” Say?….
….Yeah,
With They’re Olive Oil Voice And Guinea Charm, The Damn Dago Wop
Grease-Ball Goombahs Are Out To Steal Everyone’s Grease! The
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….Looks Like That Scary Snow Snake!….”Albino Cobra”…..Wasting My Time….
….Anita
and Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Key Lime Pies Are Really As Good As
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Good!….
….With “Anita’s and Kutchie’s” World Famous Key Lime Pies You Will Always Eat, Drink and Be Murray!
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….1-4-u-2-c-i-c-u-2-ok-ok!
….123-testing-123…,.ok,
that’s a go!….ok….go…….please go away now!……go to your room now!….well
if you don’t go now, i will!….bye-bye….i am gone now, you can stop
reading, cause i am gone……i am really gone now!
….i can’t believe that you are still reading this! you believe that?
….i can’t believe that we ate that whole key lime pie!…
….since
“Rooms To Go” did good, maybe the “Pelaez’s” should change their name
to “Key Lime Pies To Go”, Yeah-What Do You-All Think? Is That A
Go?……go to your room now!….BYE!….
….With “Captain Kutchie” It Is Known As “The Battle Of The Bulge”!….,
….Ain’t It A Kick In The Head?…..Damn Straight It Is!….
….I Saw Captain Kutchie’s Dick Before…”OMG!!!”……Oh My, And What A Nice One He Surely Has, Yummy!….No Wonder He Is Such A Heart Throb!….
As ALL OF US know, checking out a guy’s flaccid rod and then passing judgement on it’s size is about as relevant as assuming someone’s IQ from the size of his skull. The length and thickness of an erect penis has almost nothing to do with what that penis looks like when soft. Add in the well-known fact that temperature affects the shape of a flaccid penis (and other factors) and the whole discussion craters. Maybe in the future we should limit our assessments of other men’s penises only when we have photos of them at full staff. At least then, we’d have an accurate and more honest collection of evidence on which to base our opinions.
I thought the average size is 5 inches based on many things I’ve read that say the average is from 4 to 6 inches? Ethnicity isn’t supposed to be a factor, either, as there are many variations within Asians, Africans, etc. It’s a shame that society has to focus on who has the biggest (and shortest). Remember, it’s not “what you have but how you use it”!
@Ouch…Charlie: I can’t get behind you on the first two, but Colin Farrell is DEFINITELY doable, so I’m with you there. He is one of those guys whose sex appeal seems to get better as he ages.
Colin Farrell is a misprint here and certainly shouldn’t be on this list. If you look in the dictionary, sexy has him as the description, and from what I’ve heard, he’s quite the talent in bed and he’s bisexual to boot!
Ok granted, I’m a little late in viewing & responding to this article; but I HAD to just say that the uncensored pic of Dannie was
WAY, W-A-Y worse than I thought it was gonna be! – (I gasped out loud!) holy shit, I think I damaged myself laughing though – not from looking at the pic itself – but after recovering from the initial shock, it was the 1,000’s & 1,000’s of comments that had me gagging with laughter!!
I saw Colin Farrell in the flesh at the Russian Turkish Baths (10th Street Baths) in New York City. This is NOT a gay bath house, by the way, but an “old-world” place where old Russian guys “whip” you with tree branches, and do other things you might see in Russia or Turkey. I saw Colin’s dick only flaccid, of course, but there is no way he could be considered small. He didn’t seem to have any problem with putting it out there, but he wasn’t showing off either. Almost everybody there was completely naked, although a few wrapped a towel around themselves; but Colin carried his towel.
If you ever go to this place, which I highly recommend, get a massage from Alex. He is there every other week, so check the schedule and go on Boris’s week.
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petensfo
Yeah, where IS that sex tape of Colin Farrell?
My gawwwd, that thing was beautiful.
ps: thanks for the link to an uncensored pic, too bad it was for Bonaduce though. lol
Daveliam
I have to say that I find something incredibly sexy about an attractive muscular man with a smaller penis. I actually find giant oversized penises to be a turn-off, so I would take these guys any day of the week.
jkb
Colin’s piece is exquisite!
Spike
Are there no pics of Tom Daley’s teeny weeny in his itsy bitsy speedos?
AuntieChrist
Do they still make those lovely Gherkin’s I think they are delicious…The sweet ones are the best I think.
AuntieChrist
If we used cm. instead of in. it would appear more impressive.
Ouch...Charlie
I don’t care I would still do Ashton Kutcher, Eminem and Colin Farrell
Pistolo
If an ex says a man has a small dick they’re usually fkng liars, that’s the easiest way to disparage a man you’re still bitter about because no one can prove you wrong w/o a dick pic.
Also, if you watch the interview, Brittany Murphy totally says she was kidding a few times over.
Kieran
Hell hath no fury like a dumped woman.
dukeofhurl
This is the worst article on Queerty ever.
hudson
interesting…… I actually credit my less than ‘jaw dropping package’ with keeping my alive. I came of age during the height of the aids crisis in the early/ late 80’s. Seeing guys wag their little fingers when talking about others’ dicks kept me out of the baths and from sleeping around like I so wanted to do. Young and insecure, I couldn’t bear to be the one gossiped about- it was a small gay community and EVERYONE knew everyone.
Homophile
I don’t mind a smallish dick at all. As long as it has a bit of girth and isn’t pencil like – they can be fun.
Stache1
@dukeofhurl: Lol
Niall
So if Collin Farrel’s small penis has already been debunked, why was he still included there? He doesn’t have an “alleged” small penis anymore since we already know it’s not.
crowebobby
I remember a queen once accusing a straight acquaintance of every vile act short of orchestrating the holocaust. The guy had bad breath, he never washed, he stole his mother’s social security checks, he once saw the guy kick a dog, and on and on until he delivered the coup de grâce: “And what’s more, he’s got no dick!”
hudson
hmmm, a bit harsh on Bonaduce aren’t ya? i didn’t look at the NSFW pic but his body is pretty freaking good. didn’t queerty run an article on how hot redheads are a while back? there’s a certain demeaning tone to the ‘puff of red pubes’ comment. just saying.
Jesse Bay
@Daveliam: Wish I had met more men like you years ago 😉
Jackhoffsky
The way Colin Farrell treated the girl in the sex tape was… by far… the biggest turn on for me. He was just so respectful, in tune. He paid attention.
You know how rare it is to find a guy who PAYS ATTENTION?? (In general, much less in bed…)
dougmc92
Anderson Cooper was interviewing Sean Combs I think and the conversation got around to dick size and Anderson said his was very small.
krystalkleer
COLIN doesn’t belong on this short list!
http://getoffmydress.blogspot.com/2013/12/ho-ho-hold-up-minute.html
Stache1
@Jesse Bay: Well, it’s not too late. Get back to the gym then.
petewentzisforlovers21
@petensfo: http://xhamster.com/movies/11235/colin_farrell_sex_tape.html
be warned there is vag shots
Paul F
@Homophile: For actual personal usage, girth is my problem. Only a “pencil” dick will fit inside of me. (Results of having Crohns disease since 1976) Hubby can’t even fit the tip in, much to my frustration. Thankfully, he’s only interested in what my front side has to offer when it comes to putting tab A into slot B. Growing up, my brother convinced me I had a micro dick. It was only much later when I started to see other men’s erections that I found out that I’m slightly above average. Very much a grower, not the donkey dick shower that he is. Thanks bro, for years of inferiority complexes in that department, although like Hudson, it probably saved my life.
TheNewEnergyDude
“Maybe that’s why Kate was always in a pissy mood?”
Hahahaha….Fabulous!!
Teleny
That Bonaduce picture. I very much regret looking…
CAxlRose
Mark McGrath has also been open about his undersized package.
hudson
@petewentzisforlovers21: that was pretty hot- vag shots and all!
Nikkidane
One of my most satisfying experiences was with a guy much shorter than me with a small penis. He was very masculine and nice muscular body (not overly muscular), bubble butt, blonde, great kisser and great conversationalist. We met online and only met once but it was definitely memorable. Penis size is very over-rated if you ask me.
jckfmsincty
Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck?
Michael
Whether some of these guys have gone on record about it or not, this is a tacky, mean-spirited, superficial post.
darkanser
@hudson: I looked at the NSFW pic. I knew what to expect — and I don’t think I’m the shallowest size queen — but still I was rather surprised. I’ll admit to having some size worship but I’m more concerned with a guy’s face and general body — than one body part. Of course, personality goes a long way too. I’ll concede Bonaducci does have a nice body.
darkanser
The irony regarding Nick Cannon is that there’s a sometime gay porn star with the same name who’s humungous.
queertyreader
@Pistolo: I usually agree that the ex-wifes or ex-girlfriends are probably bitter. On the otrher hand though, you can be sure if Eminem really had a huge penis he A) would have shoved it into our faces and B) he would have fought back by writing a song and telling the whole world it wasn’t true. Since he obviously does have a small wiener, he’s better off being silent.
Most of the other celebrities make sense: Jon Gosslin is half Asian, as far as I know and Asian men do have a smaller penis by average. Of course there are many exceptions. This is why Nick Cannon is a surprise to be on the list. However the reaction to his penis size of his ex was just “Eh”… which could also mean she’s really just bitter and he is average.
Tackle
I don’t believe for one minute that Nick Cannon has a small package. Usually his type, 6 feet tall, slim defined body, kinda skinny legs, tends to be well endowed. I’ve seen it many times. Mabey his ex, “Eh”, was more about his kissing than his penis size. From what I’ve seen, dude can’t kiss worth a damn…
blackhook
So sorry to hear about Em’s teeny-tiny white trash peeny!
WayDifferent
Unfortunately, this is what is important to most gays while they fight for marriage rights.
WayDifferent
@blackhook: He’s got a much bigger house than most ghetto blacks and he doesn’t have to have iron bars on the doors and windows either. Hell, you could fit 1,300 Mexicans in that thing too.
hephaestion
I don’t understand why anyone gives a fuck how big or little a penis is. It makes no difference to me.
jwtraveler
I don’t care what Nick Cannon has or doesn’t have, he’s so adorable it drives me crazy. And he does have the richest, most successful wife in show business so he must have something going for him.
Evji108
Penis Shaming
It seems to be totally acceptable for a woman to say of an man that he has a small dick, it’s the perfect put down, it implies he isn’t man enough. And it cuts deep, it goes to his deepest insecurities.
But if a guy went around saying,
“Her loose cootch was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much. I faked the whole thing. I really felt sorry for her; I still loved her though.” Imagine the backlash from the women because that’s called slut shaming and they really don’t like it. It’s a double standard.
Spike
I wonder how big Jim/Anita Bryant’s dick is.
iluvcakes
@Eminem
This was the one of the only women he is actually confirmed being with, combine this with the homophobia and to me its clear he is a closet case. He’ll never probably come out until he is 60 or something but Im telling you its only a matter of time.
seaguy
That is one list I would not want to be on.
Kangol
That Bonaduce pic…well, I give him credit for being brave enough to show that micro-nub to the world.
Now, Queerty, why don’t you do a companion piece on the alleged best endowed men of Hollywood? Or pro sports? Or the entertainment energy more broadly? Or did you do that already?
I can’t remember, maybe you did, but doing it again would be a nice Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Holiday gift to all of us on here!
Sebizzar
@Pistolo: Exactly, I kept thinking to myself “And we’re suppoesd to believe what every ex gf says?”
What is the point of this article anyway, to make guys feel ashamed? The only people who should know about something so private are the ones you’re sleeping with.
mindbump
That’s a shame about Eminem! I’ve had many dreams and j.o. sessions about him. I’m still a virgin, so maybe it’s a good thing he is on the less than average list.
dannyboi2
@hudson: You and many others…myself included, I’m average and many have been very happy with many repeat performances. But, my own insecurity to to measure up to Porn Star standards have always kept me a wallflower. And my larger than average friends are all dead now, some because of AIDS others OD-ing Drugs do to a lot of sexual activity, so we should count ourselves Lucky.
Honestly it’s all in you head anyways.
Bumper
I just don’t know how you can tell. Some are showers and others are growers. I’ve never been able to tell. Ever. Then of course there are those who don’t give a damn. Count me in that group. What does it matter if you fall in love despite size? Overly sexualized guys are too much into the measurement tape that measures from the ass to the mushroom. Less than 10% of us have over the average.
pauleky
I have never understood the fascination with big dicks. I would never discount a relationship with anyone based on that sole factor. I’ve had really horrible sex with very well-endowed guys, and mind-blowing sex with smaller guys. And, the opposite is true as well. A guy I knew in college was actually kicked out of bed for being too small. He’s carrying 6.5″. That mindset is just very, very sad.
pauleky
@Kangol: It really, really wouldn’t for “all of us.” We’re not all so shallow.
jmmartin
Ashton is awfully good looking but a bit of an ass. After his brief fling with Murphy, he told the gossips that she was easy to bed, which showed us more about him than about her. (Whatever happened to the rule against kissing adn telling?) Ashton has a bit of an ego problem. Murphy might just be getting even, tough it would not surprise me that he is small. Demi Moore should have had more sense than to hook up with the guy. Now, Colin Farrell….
Kangol
@pauleky:
So appreciating male genital endowment makes one “shallow”? Who appointed you the Head Queen and arbiter of what’s deep and what isn’t?
You can’t understand “the fascination with big dicks.” Some people like red hair or blonds, some people like to see and have sex with men with big dicks, some people like to see men with beards and stroke them, you name it. That doesn’t make any of these people “shallow.” Or is it only shallowness if it’s something you don’t like or care for?
Bob LaBlah
Why was Mario Lopez left off the list?
drdjlawrence
@dukeofhurl: YOU’VE GOT THAT RIGHT ! I’m Gay – so what !? Penis size – what an idiotic concept. If the Man will Love, and be honest; I don’t give a flyin’ fuck, what the size of his dick is. I am more concerned with the size of his heart. –DJ Lawrence
KDub
Enrique Iglesias totally has a small junk aura to him. I definitely believe that one.
AtlasRich
This is fun but don’t believe everything you read.
Matthew
I must comment on why is this article relevant? Why in the age of the classy Phag (the Gay Gentlemen), do we even care what any man has in his drawers? Queerty this is NOT what I call ‘keeping it clean’… This article is very distasteful not only to the reader (me for one), but also for str8’s who are looking for any reason or excuse to call us perverts.
Matthew
@Kangol: yes, i must agree… But, this is NOT the forum for this kind of topic. We (Gay Men) especially 40+ who survived the AIDS epidemic should note that promiscuity is dangerous, and discretion is a must.
ThumperIndy
Colen Farrell is only a little above average (I am right at 9 so his is little compared to some of us. ) , seen the sex tax and was not that impressed. Not a fan of bi-racial sex tapes, but I would agree he is pretty hot at providing a good fuck. Ashton I am sure has more than average, just his built shows that. As for the rest we can only guess. Ex’s always want to talk smack …Enrigue is so HOT who really cares I bet he is very patient with his actions. And @SPIKE, Tom Daley is very well endowed (seen his nude real pictures. , don’t hate most gay men are HUNG….that is why women love gay men. LOL. And trust me or I think that most or it not half of the men listed here has experienced in the sexual habits, admit it or not. Good looking men explore and hung men like oral from male or female. Just saying. Be kind to one another folks, life is to short and so are some penis’s LMAO.
ThumperIndy
@AtlasRich: I agree with you.
ThumperIndy
@jckfmsincty: Brad Bitt has a very small penis yet he has been voted sexiest man .. Never been a big fan of his except in his younger days when he has long hair. Brad has such a attitude and a cheater so I lost respect for him. He is getting old and so his the attention toward him.
Tackle
@Thumperlndy: You are telling people to be kind, yet you have no problem expressing your racism. And I’m willing to bet that most gay men are NOT hung. Most are average just like the general population.
And most men, hung or not enjoy oral sex. And , ( his younger days when he “has” long hair). What the hell does that mean? Had to reread your post five times to understand what you are trying to write…
stranded
I don’t believe these claims from ex-partners. They’re usually just spiteful girlfriends. Also, why does no man ever mention the big vagina. To quote Larry David “These large vagina women are getting away with murder”
yaletownman
Something seems quite sad to me about how we entertain ourselves by degrading people. Yes, I get that’s the price people pay for fame and fame makes them fair game but at the same time it just seems pretty awful to put this kind of thing in lights. Why does it entertain us so? Because our egos are so damaged that we need to debase people in order to feel better about ourselves? Maybe one day we will all love ourselves enough to then love others. I guess till then we can expect plenty of this.
Darreyl102
Until you see a penis FULLY erect, it’s hard to say how big somebody is- some are growers not showers, a lot of other things can affect to how big a dick looks when flaccid. I mean, that is something that every guy should know. That picture proves nothing of Danny’s size.
crowebobby
@blackhook: Then you’ll be happy to hear about his beautiful ass.
jonjct
Okay, nobody cares (not even me), but for the record, Barry Manilow. Hung. I used to live in the same apartment building on CPW and he was a floor below me across the air-shaft. He was naked a lot. He never knew I was looking. Nice bod, nice and hung. Also, no surprise, Jan Michael Vincent. Hung. Was at the urinal next to him at Lincoln Center (the reception for Winds of War), so of course, I looked. (yeah, I waited for him to pee and followed him). Nice, hung, fleshy, looked fat. He was young and handsome back then. Finally, sadly, Chris Reeve, no dick whatsoever. None. Zeeeeero. He used to hang with my friend Greg and often wore just running shorts, commando, and a tee shirt. You could see everything. Which was … nothing. Hung like a 9 year old boy. Way below average. Such a disappointment. But he was cute, wasn’t he?
jonjct
@dannyboi2: you and hudson have it right. i am average and attractive, but never had the confidence to go to the baths or put myself out there too much. in the 80’s i was a bottom and would have contracted AIDS in a second. being circumspect saved my life, literally. god bless my friends who died of this frightening disease. i remember each one fondly.
willji
It doesn’t matter to me as long as the arse (ass) is good…
Maude
@jkb:
Yeah, and it’s uncut.
Above reported in Playboy
He ‘whipped’ it out when a young lady said she never saw an uncut dick.
Mayhem007
Clearly this list must be pretty accurate. I mean, their sources are ex girlfriends! Not only would they know better than anyone about their dick size, but they would also tell the truth and not be at all bitter or spiteful after the breakup. Women, and exes in general, just don’t do that sort of thing!
randeman
I had heard Colin was hung, so it’s nice to know there is photographic evidence at least somewhere.
As for the others who had comments made by other people who had seen their dicks and not by the individual themselves, sorry, but when you’re talking about disparaging comments from “exes” their credibility to me is a big fat ZERO.
Finally, poor Danny!
JusMe_DoinMe
really I so happen to think Colin Farrell has nice package it would work well for me
BlogShag
@Bob LaBlah: He’s not really a celebrity (actor, singer) he’s an emcee/host
BlogShag
Please, large penis or not, if Eminem, Ashton Kutcher, etc wanted to get me naked, my clothes would be off so fast….And dat ass and bank account. They’ve sure got those
BlogShag
@pauleky: I’ve had some of the most horrible sex with guys that look like models, and mind blowing sex with average looking, average endowed guys. But yeah, there really is such a thing as too small. I don’t want a clitoris, I want to play with a penis
georgemed222
@Daveliam: Even big stars can have small packages, so we regular guys can feel a little better. One thing we can do is focus more on health, less on size; using a top drawer penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) can help keep maintain tool health.
LeAnn McDonald
.….”Captain Kutchie” Never Makes Up Stories But If He Did
It Would Probably Be About As Good As The One That You Are About To
Read Next!…..You Believe That?….
….Add “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” To Make This The All-Time Greatest Film Ever Made!….
…Could..“Clint”
Eastwood. Possibly Be Competing With “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” For The
Position Of “The World’s Most Interesting Man”…Perhaps?…But Then Again
Perhaps He Is Just Waiting For “Kutchie Pelaez and Frankie Valli” To
“Make His Day”!…Ha, Go Figure!….
….We Heard A Few Years Back That
Megyn Kelly Of Fox News, Really Loved Her Some Of Captain Kutchie’s And
Anita Pelaez’s Famous Key Lime Pies! Could That Make Megyn “The Most
Interesting Lady In The World?….I Guess “NO” On That One, That One Would
Have To Be “The Lovely –Mrs. Anita Pelaez” The Queen Of The Key Lime
Pie World!
….I sure hope that this will be a great opportunity for
everyone to see some of “Don Rickle’s Scenes” from his productions of
his classic hits “The Tales From Kutcharitaville”. You Do know that Don
Rickles and Johnny Carson together produced those comedy hits about
their friend “Mr. Kutchie Pelaez” and their wild and crazy exploits of
Kutchie’s Key West and The World of Key Lime Pies from the perspective
of (Johnny Carson, Don Rickles, Kutchie Pelaez and Steve Martins Eyes!)
What a Hoot Those Classic Hits Surely Were. Don’t miss them, be sure to
tune-in next month. We Laughed Until We Cried Watching Those Funny
Movies. “The Tales From Kutcharitaville”, I Think That They May Still Be
Available In A Boxed Set. Maybe Try Amazon. Good Luck With That….
You
Know, It’s No Wonder That Everyone Calls “Captain Kutchie Pelaez”..The
Most Interesting Man In The World! Did You Know That Kutchie Drinks
Those Wonderful Mixed Drinks Named In His Honor Called “Kutcharitas”.?.
There A Hell Of A Lot Better Than Any Mexican Beers. And Much Stronger
To Boot!…You Could Almost Hear The Song Now…”Wasting Away Again In
Kutcharitaville”.!…What Do Ya Think? Not Bad Ahh!…
….That Sunken Ship In The News These Days,
….It’s
Been Resting Down On The Bottom Of The Sea Since Way Back In 1857, “Mel
Fisher” Even Overlooked That One!… “Yankee Jack Pittorino” and “Micheal
McCloud” Now Have Reason To Write Another Song…(Hint-Hint-Hint) “Jack”
Listen-Up Here!
….Hell, We Can’t Find A Boeing 777 That’s Been Lost Only A
Little Over A Few Months Now! Could It Be Because The Jet Had No Silver and Gold Aboard, Just People?….Go Figure……
….Good
Thing That All The ….(“Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West Key Lime Pie
Shops”)..Are All Showing Increasing Pie Sales Throughout All They’re
Areas Of Distribution. Consumers Just Never Seem To Reach They’re Fill
Of Those “Yummy Key Lime Pies” That The “Peleaz’s Working Partner Team”
Continues To Produce. They Have Been Called “Love At First Bite”.
.Everyone Agrees, That The Loving Couple Have Been Baking They’re
Culinary Delectables Over 40-Years Now!….
Isn’t She
Wonderful?….”AAAHHHH”, The Magic Of The Gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez”
Well She Is Something Else!…Honey, She’s The Real Thing Baby!….
….Who The Hell Does That “Kutchie Pelaez” Think That He Is?….”Frankie Valli” Or Some Big-Shot Like That?
….It’s No Wonder That People Are All Calling Him “The Most Interesting Man In The World”,…Big Girls Don’t Cry…Do They?….
….Don’t
Cha Just Love Em!?….We Sure Do!….It is A Well Known Fact That “Captain
Kutchie Pelaez” Knows Who Put The Bomp In The Bomp Shoo Bomp Shoo Bomp
And The Rama In The Rama Lama Ding Dong!.
….He Even Knows Who Put The Dip In The Dip Da Dip Da Dip!…How Cool Is That?….
….a-good-1-4-u-2-n-joy-ok!..
….”Very Interesting”!….
….”Frankie Valli and Kutchie Pelaez”..Did Make-It As Big As “Frank Sanatra”.
….”Yeah”
A Few Wise Guys They Certainly Were “Frankie Valli, Kutchie Pelaez and
Joe Pesci”!….Together “The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight”!…..
….Mafiosi
Wanna-Bee’s. The Key Lime Pie “Wild Bunch”. They’ve Got Everyone
Shaking In They’re Flip-Flops!….”Even “Jimmy Buffet” Doesn’t Know Where
It’s Safe To Hide-Out”!….Especially Since Everyone Found-Out That
“Captain Kutchie Pelaez” Was The One Who First Came-Up With The “Goody
Goody”…“The Original Cheese Burgers In Paradise” And Kutchie’s Buddy
.“Levi Stubbs”. Of The “Four Tops” Helped Him Name Them Way Back In The
Early 70?s.
….Eli Wallach, Be Careful, Don’t Eat The “Cannoli’s”!…They’re Killer Man!….
….They Lived!…They Really Did!…Just Ask “Levi”!….
….I’d
Give My Left “Nut” To Set Down With “Captain Kutchie Pelaez, Frankie
Valli, Terry Levi, Joe Pesci, Bob Gaudio, Bob Crewe, Paul Shaffer, Bob
De Niro, Tommy DeVito, Martin Scorsese, Clint East Wood, Bob Newhart And
Yankee Jack Pittorino”! Rub Elbows And Shoot The Shit With That Whole
Crew Of “Good Fellows” Or “Wise Guys” Or Whatever The Hell You Want To
Call Them!….”Who Wouldn’t”?….
….I Believe That “Kutchie” First
Sang “My Eyes Adored You” And “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” To His
Lovely Bride “Anita” Way Back In The Seventies! ….Sounds Like A Love
Story To Us!…A Very Good Yarn! “You” “You’re Good You”….
….That
“Captain Kutchie” Always Lands Back On His Feet. No Matter How Tough
The Situation Is He Always Comes Back Up On The Top Of The Heap, King Of
The Hill! Everyone Knows That! Never Count The Captain Out No Matter
How Down The Chips May..Appear!…… Remember That He Is Not Only “The
World Famous Captain Kutchie Pelaez” But Please Keep In Mind That
“Captain Kutchie” Is Also Considered “The Most Interesting Man In The
World”!….Why Else Would Everyone Be Talking About Him And His
Adventurous Wild And Crazy World Exploits, Treasure Hunting And
Exploring, The Megalodon Teeth And Oh All Those Giant Reptile
Exploits?…To Say “The Dude” Really Has Balls Is Quite An Understatement
To Say The Least!….
….His Drop Dead Gorgeous Wife “Anita”
And
They’re Famous Key Lime Pies!….They’re World Famous Historic Key West
Kutcharitaville Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill, Home Of The Famous
“Goody Goody” Cheese Burgers In Paradise!….All Conveniently Located In
NC Near The Famous “Biltmore House And Estate!….
….Yeah, You’re Good You. No You’re “DAMN GOOD YOU”….
….Also Add “The Two Yutes”….”What’s A Yute”? You Might Ask. Just Ask “Yankee Jack”…..
…Marriage
Lasts Forever and Ever, Two People Become One! A Covenant Between A
Husband, His Wife And The Lord “Jesus” The Christ! Marriage, The Same
Yesterday Today Tomorrow And Forever More! True Love Never Changes!
Just
Ask “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” He Knows!….That What The Lord Puts
Together Can Never Be Broken!….That “Captain Kutchie” Really Knows His
Stuff. He’s Mind Blowing To Say The Least!…
….”Captain Kutchie” Never
Kisses Ass But If He Did Kiss An Ass It Would Probably Be His Beautiful
Wife’s Ass!….You Go “Captain Kutchie”!….
….”Captain
Kutchie”
Always Said That To Him That “James Garner” Was To Him One Of The
World’s Most Interesting Persons. So I Guess That This Key Lime Pie
Should Be For You This Month “ROCKFISH”…(RIP)!….
….Only “Jim Rockford” Could Have Came Close To “Fred Thompson” In “Persecuted”, Fred Really Nailed It In This Flick!….
….”Captain Kutchie”, You Put You’re Cloth’s Back On, “You”!….
….Who Dat, Dat Say “Who Dat” Every Time Dat I Say Who Dat, “Who Dat”?….
….Nobody Be Done Does It Better Than The “Captain Kutchie” Be Done Did!….
….At A Time Like This, I Can’t Help But Think, What Would “Captain Kutchie” Say?….
….Yeah,
With They’re Olive Oil Voice And Guinea Charm, The Damn Dago Wop
Grease-Ball Goombahs Are Out To Steal Everyone’s Grease! The
Scumbags!….That’s Probably What Captain Kutchie Might Say!…
….Looks Like That Scary Snow Snake!….”Albino Cobra”…..Wasting My Time….
….Anita
and Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Key Lime Pies Are Really As Good As
Everyone Says They Are. The Proof Is In The Pudding, They’re That Damn
Good!….
….With “Anita’s and Kutchie’s” World Famous Key Lime Pies You Will Always Eat, Drink and Be Murray!
….”Captain Kutchie” Of Key Lime Pie Fame Always Told Me “Keep You’re Friends Close But Keep You’re Enemies Closer”.
….1-4-u-2-c-i-c-u-2-ok-ok!
….123-testing-123…,.ok,
that’s a go!….ok….go…….please go away now!……go to your room now!….well
if you don’t go now, i will!….bye-bye….i am gone now, you can stop
reading, cause i am gone……i am really gone now!
….i can’t believe that you are still reading this! you believe that?
….i can’t believe that we ate that whole key lime pie!…
….since
“Rooms To Go” did good, maybe the “Pelaez’s” should change their name
to “Key Lime Pies To Go”, Yeah-What Do You-All Think? Is That A
Go?……go to your room now!….BYE!….
….With “Captain Kutchie” It Is Known As “The Battle Of The Bulge”!….,
….Ain’t It A Kick In The Head?…..Damn Straight It Is!….
….I Saw Captain Kutchie’s Dick Before…”OMG!!!”……Oh My, And What A Nice One He Surely Has, Yummy!….No Wonder He Is Such A Heart Throb!….
Trippy
As ALL OF US know, checking out a guy’s flaccid rod and then passing judgement on it’s size is about as relevant as assuming someone’s IQ from the size of his skull. The length and thickness of an erect penis has almost nothing to do with what that penis looks like when soft. Add in the well-known fact that temperature affects the shape of a flaccid penis (and other factors) and the whole discussion craters. Maybe in the future we should limit our assessments of other men’s penises only when we have photos of them at full staff. At least then, we’d have an accurate and more honest collection of evidence on which to base our opinions.
BlogShag
Please. I don’t care. As if any of us would kick Nick Lackey out of bed? Hello? Or Ashton kutcher, Enrique Iglesias, Nick Cannon, etc…
Eminem? Just turn him over — he’d be glad to
jcrussous
I thought the average size is 5 inches based on many things I’ve read that say the average is from 4 to 6 inches? Ethnicity isn’t supposed to be a factor, either, as there are many variations within Asians, Africans, etc. It’s a shame that society has to focus on who has the biggest (and shortest). Remember, it’s not “what you have but how you use it”!
jcrussous
Aw, c’mon…Danny B. could be “a grower not a show-er”!
Bully2
@Ouch…Charlie: I can’t get behind you on the first two, but Colin Farrell is DEFINITELY doable, so I’m with you there. He is one of those guys whose sex appeal seems to get better as he ages.
tusgold
many a truth is spoken in jest
BlogShag
Colin Farrell is a misprint here and certainly shouldn’t be on this list. If you look in the dictionary, sexy has him as the description, and from what I’ve heard, he’s quite the talent in bed and he’s bisexual to boot!
Sluggo2007
If Eminem has a tiny peen, that would explain why he tries to act all big and bad.
BlogShag
Uh, Colin Farrell should not be in this list
Dirtybird_Mary
Ok granted, I’m a little late in viewing & responding to this article; but I HAD to just say that the uncensored pic of Dannie was
WAY, W-A-Y worse than I thought it was gonna be! – (I gasped out loud!) holy shit, I think I damaged myself laughing though – not from looking at the pic itself – but after recovering from the initial shock, it was the 1,000’s & 1,000’s of comments that had me gagging with laughter!!
justyouandi
I saw Colin Farrell in the flesh at the Russian Turkish Baths (10th Street Baths) in New York City. This is NOT a gay bath house, by the way, but an “old-world” place where old Russian guys “whip” you with tree branches, and do other things you might see in Russia or Turkey. I saw Colin’s dick only flaccid, of course, but there is no way he could be considered small. He didn’t seem to have any problem with putting it out there, but he wasn’t showing off either. Almost everybody there was completely naked, although a few wrapped a towel around themselves; but Colin carried his towel.
If you ever go to this place, which I highly recommend, get a massage from Alex. He is there every other week, so check the schedule and go on Boris’s week.