Yesterday when we announced that WNBA basketball player Sheryl Swoopes was engaged to a man, one of you called her a “lie-sexual” (which is a clever, if not bi-phobic neologism). But more of you wanted to see the man that changed her lesbian ways. Well here he is and in our humble but accurate opinion, he’s not as hot as her ex-girlfriend. But that’s just us.
Her fiance is longtime friend Chris Unclesho (Uncle Show?). When Swoopes initially came out, Swoopes was dating Alisa “Scottie” Scott, “the former assistant coach for Swoopes’ original WNBA team the Houston Comets.” Scott and Swoopes’ son Jordan frequently attended her practices and games as she played for the Dallas Fury and the Seattle Storm. But before Scott, Swoopes was married to a man, so her “newfound” bisexuality shouldn’t come as a total surprise.
When she first came out Swoopes said, “I’m not bisexual. I don’t think I was born [gay]. Again, it was a choice. As I got older, once I got divorced, it wasn’t like I was looking for another relationship, man or woman. I just got feelings for another woman. I didn’t understand it at the time, because I had never had those feelings before. After being [with Scott] for three to four years and not having feelings for another man is when I understood who I really was.”
She has also said, “It doesn’t change who I am. I can’t help who I fall in love with. No one can. … Discovering I’m gay just sort of happened much later in life. Being intimate with [Alisa] or any other woman never entered my mind. At the same time, I’m a firm believer that when you fall in love with somebody, you can’t control that.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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But we shouldn’t misunderstand her. She’s not saying that no queers folks are “born that way,” she’s just saying that she doesn’t think that she was. And when she calls it “a choice”, she probably means that she chose to give in to her love for her lesbian partner.
Her fluid sexuality doesn’t diminish her accomplishments as an NCAA WOmen’s Basketball Champion, a three-time Olympic gold medalist, and three-time recipient of the WNBA’s MVP award. Nor does it diminish the positive effect she has had as an openly-queer, African-American, female athlete. We need role models like her and do ourselves no help by judging her for her sexual partners.
So much for her being a “lie-sexual.”
Jeffree
Swoope’s fiance (note: one E for male, two when it’s a woman) *must* be a great guy, or maybe the picture doesn’t do him justice?!
Sean
I hope her marriage makes her happy, and I’m glad she could be honest about her sexuality, even if it runs contrary to what most of us (myself included) believe about our own sexuality. Also, props to Daniel for writing a positive article about this, rather than the trash I have seen around the web.
McGullen
I think Swoopes has it unusually together. She just follows her heart depending on who she loves, and if all of us could do that, life would be easier.
jason
Sheryl is a good illustration of why we should never trust women to lead a GLBT movement. For one thing, many women are messed up. Secondly, women don’t need to prove their arousal when dating someone. Their sexual behavior doesn’t have to be based on sexual attraction.
Sexuality-wise, a woman’s statements and behavior are often a ploy to obtain something that is completely unrelated to the achievement of sexual satisfaction. This characteristic exists in all women regardless of whether they are straight, gay, bisexual – fake or otherwise.
We men need to be extra-careful when including women in the GLBT movement. We need to apply a different standard to their membership of our movement, not because we wish to discriminate unfairly but because women are different and are known to sully movements. Just look at how they’ve fucked up feminism.
Jeffree
@jason: How would you, umm, suggest women be kept from positions of leadership within the LGBT “movement?”
Please say more.
Don’t beat around the bush, because it’s unclear, for instance, how you would keep women from leading within the Lesbian and Trans~ communities? Are you proposing that cis-gender gay men assume the key roles in their search for equality?
jason
Jeffree,
I’m saying that we in the GBT movement – I’ll call it GBT because the L is already covered by the G – need to apply a different standard to women in our movement. It is not because we wish to discriminate unfairly but because women are different to men. Female sexuality is often fake and designed to obtain an advantage.
I think that, if women want positions of leadership, they need to be honest in declaring that female sexuality is different from male sexuality. They should not pretend that it’s the same thing. They should not pretend that they have suffered as much as men have in terms of discrimination and laws.
The women I would prefer are the ones with very short hair and other characteristics that are not considered feminine.
missanthrope
Jason is a very obvious troll.
Jeffree
@jason: Now you’re getting more specific, thanks. Only short-haired, mannish lesbians would be allowed to lead lesbians, under the direction of gay men? Did I get that right?
Women, due to their “fake” sexual expression, would be assigned secondary roles in the movement. Am I close?
Refer back to your original comment where you said “GLBT community.” If you’re assuming that men will speak on behalf of lesbians, then how would men represent them fairly?
How would cis-gender men truly be able to lead & speak on behalf of members of the Trans~ community? I’m not following, especially since the concept of gender ID and its intersection with natal gender assîgnment are concepts that courts can’t agree on. Please say more,
p.s. thanks for replying so quickly.
jason
Jeffree,
It’s partly an issue of honesty. How can a woman honestly represent the GBT movement if her sexuality is an easily disguisable entity? When sexual behavior is decoupled from arousal, as is the case in women, it produces this fakeness paradigm that I’ve been talking about. I am not seeking to be deliberately hostile to women but merely stating fact. Fact is fact.
I’m not letting men off the hook here. The problem with gay men is that they see the GBT rights notion as an excuse to indulge their hedonism. Gay men, being men, thus defer to the biological imperative of having sex as frequently as possible with as many people as possible.
How do we get the best leaders for the GBT movement? Morality. Morality is the answer. A moral lesbian or moral gay man would make the best leaders.
chrissie riot
If you poke around Queerty posts that have anything to do with women you’ll find a reply by jason being misogynistic. I’m not surprised to see the same here. It’s really best to ignore him because his anti-woman diatribes are tiresome and his reasoning is wak.
Aaaaannnnyyywaaaaaayyy Daniel, thank you for this well written article on Swoopes.
I think the idea of choice sexuality is a little dangerous if only because of the possibility of legislation against the choice but it is honest for some people. Sexuality can’t always be so easily defined as gay/straight/bi and it’s unfortunate that for the sake of argument against bigots that we have to be born this way or it’s somehow invalid.
I hope for the best for Sheryl and her soon to be husband.
MikeE
I’m sorry.
I’m going to be on the side of this issue that is “confused”.
This woman is full of contradictions, and as such, she ain’t no hero of mine.
She wasn’t born gay, it was a choice? But now she’s marrying a man?
I can’t hep but wonder if she’s going to divorce him in a couple of years and start dating a girl again?
So now, *I* always wanted to know: are lesbians “gay”?
If being a lesbian is the same thing as being gay, why is there a separate word for a woman who’s gay?
In what way, exactly is “lesbian” different from gay? other than the fact that the word lesbian ONLY encompasses those of feminine gender?
MikeE
when she calls it “a choice” I don’t want YOUR interpretation. I want HER definition of what “choice” means. she is a very poor role model, if you ask me.
chrissie riot
@MikeE: I wasn’t there so I can’t say for certain but the term lesbian came into popular use in the 60s and 70s possibly as a result of women being dismissed and overlooked in the gay liberation movement of the time. That’s what my research into the glm leads me to believe at any rate.
TanyaHyde
@MikeE:
Quote: “when she calls it “a choice” I don’t want YOUR interpretation. I want HER definition of what “choice” means. she is a very poor role model, if you ask me.”
MikeE, unfortunately for you, she doesn’t owe you diddly as far as her: interpretation, partner of the moment or life choices.
You are entitled to your opinion about the quality of her role modelness, but that’s all it is – your opinion. What does it really matter?
Live your life well and don’t be so concerned about someone else’s – especially when you don’t know them and it doesn’t really affect you.
Peter
stop this disgusting topics about anti-gay hypocrisy and bisexual double standards from porn! Where is all bisexual guys??? We want male bisexuality everywhere! We don’t care about women. Lesbians haven’t any problems with homophobia.
Olga
Jeffree is the silly anti-gay conformist!
Abirdwillingtobeitself
@m.: Is pro-lesbian an insult now? Anyway, I hope Swoopes is happy in her new relationship.
Joetx
jason = misogynistic moron.
Anyway, Swoopes goes on record to state the she is not bi, but is in fact gay.
Now that her first lesbian relationship is over, she goes & becomes engaged to a man?
One thing she is for sure: Confused.
Abirdwillingtobeitself
@Joetx: Well, she sure doesn’t seem to be gay, that’s for sure. But as Daniel wrote, she made those comments several years ago, when she came out. Maybe her understanding of herself has changed since then.
Mike in Asheville
TO DANIEL VILLARREAL: Very nice report; best of yours I have read. Should you/Queerty decide to do a first-hand interview/report, there are plenty of obvious questions for Swoopes. I think MikeE (@12) makes a valid point about what Swoopes herself means about “choice” for her or all of us.
Clearly Swoopes demonstrates that individuality can, and in this case does, supersede conformity. Anyone who cannot wish her well deserves the mirror of their own contempt.