A few months back we discussed an AfterElton article exploring the so-called art of so-called slash fiction: a fan-based genre presenting television characters in new â and often sexual â settings. Like all good things, the literary subset comes to us from Captain Kirk and Spock obsessed trekkies. And, like the written word itself, that came from drawings.
Weâll totally say off the bat that we think itâs pretty weird. But, we recently came across a massive archive of the drawings and we couldnât look away. Seriously, itâs the most fascinatingly freaky thing weâve seen on the web in a long time â and we see a lot of freaky things.
In honor of the great V-Day, weâve curated a pictorial guide to Kirk and Spockâs eternally perplexing love. Enter at your own risk. It ainât pretty.
(Also, we tagged this as art. Weâre sorry if this offends anyone. We donât blame youâŚ)
It was a young Spock who made the first move⌠A bit queer, no?
How about we take this to the next level?
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As you can see, this one comes from a nine-year old girl named Anna. Weâre not going to fuck with a little girlâs drawing â itâs a sweet little depiction, donât you think? Look, Spockâs saying, âYay!â Precious.
This is how vulcanâs have sex, apparently. Doesnât look very exciting. Kirk looks so bored. Spock? Heâs totally about to cum. (Words we never thought weâd ever write and, quite frankly, make us feel kind of gross.)
Capân K. taking control!
No one here looks very happy. We like to think that Spock forced Kirk into marrying him. Maybe heâs pregnant. HmmmâŚif we were nerdier, weâd explore it, but weâre not. So, weâll move onâŚ
Even Kirk and Spock can disagree. All Kirk wants is a little hand job and Spock canât stop singing, âMaybe This Timeâ from Cabaret.
They come together to remember September 11, 2001: the day that wouldnât end. If you look in the upper left corner, it reads, âNever forget⌠(even in the 23rd century). And, to make matters worse, they still havenât rebuilt the damn things!
Not even deathâŚ
Nor after theyâre resurrected as young mermen.
(Weird.)