A really good fuck can have totally frightful consequences. We're sure a lot of you will be out and about this pre-Halloween weekend, so we'd like to remind you to use your noggin and keep your sexual selves safe.

That's why we've made a visually stimulating field guide for you. Microscopic slides of the most common diseases definitely catch the eye, but the gory details will make you wary of catching the nasty bugs we've wrangled.

Before you begin, however, keep in mind we're no experts and this isn't a comprehensive list. The Center For Disease Control definitely gets down and dirty, so we recommend you familiarize yourself with their website. If you're not too scared, of course.


Name: Chlamydia

How You Get It: Anal, Oral or vaginal sex. The bacteria can also be passed from mothers to their unborn babies. In some cases, Chlamydia can cause a spontaneous abortion.

Gory details: One of the most common STDs in the world, Chlamydia infects about four million Americans each year. This bacteria's a sneaky fucker and doesn't always exhibit symptoms, particularly for women. When it does show its face, Chlamydia may bring odd vaginal discharge or bleeding, fever, pain during sex, pee pain, abdominal pain. Basically, it's a pain. For men, you too may experience the sharp pain while urinating, your balls may ache and get a light creamy discharge. It can also leave you infertile. Not cute. Oh, also, Chlamydia can lead to blindness.

How You Kill It: While chlamydia's scary shit, it can be treated with some simple anti-biotics. Now that's a happy ending.