STDs Can Be Pretty Scary

Name: Gonorrhea aka “The Clap”

How You Get It: Unsafe contact with vagina, anus, mouth or – you guessed it – a dirty prick. And, considering that an estimated 700,000 people catch the clap annually, one can safely assume there are plenty of dirty pricks out there.

Gory Details: As with Chlamydia, men don’t always show symptoms of Neisseria gonorrhoeae infection. If they do, they can come anywhere from five to thirty days after infection and involves burning pee, yellow or white discharge and, sometimes, achy balls. Women face similar indications – with the added bonus of a bleeding pussy – but won’t necessarily exhibit any symptoms at all. Extreme evidence may be indicate a pelvic inflammatory disease, which can lead to infertility. Rectal infection means an itchy butt, disconcerting discharge and caustic craps. You can also get Gonorrhea in the throat.

If you do show symptoms, it’ll most like come in the form of burning pee, hence it’s nickname. Actually, now that we think about it, “burning” isn’t the right word. “Slashing” seems more appropriate, as if Michael Myers found his way into your urethra. Scary!

How You Kill It: Luckily gonorrhea can be treated with – you guessed it – antibiotics. Is there anything those little buggers can’t do. Well, actually, yes…