Steve Bartelstein lost his WABC job after showing up late for work and, in some cases, not showing up at all. While some thought the handsome journo's career would be consumed by crystal meth, we're pleased to hear that Bartelstein's landed a gig at CBS.

Of course, the Facts of Life law requires us to take the good and the bad. That said, we're sorry to say that Bartelstein's got testicular cancer. That cancer, Bartelstein, may explain his ABC tardiness:

Doctors say this had long been in my system. I'm not one to complain nor say anything disparaging. But it's possible my weariness at work was the result of this illness. I'd been showing extreme fatigue for a period of time. Even while I was still on-air, my mother said, 'I notice you're lethargic these days.' "

A mother always knows.

Now that he faces radiation and chemo, Bartelstein insists he's going to hold his head high: "I won't go the hairpiece route. I'll be knowledgeable, charming – and bald."