I think honestly, some people who think they’re gay, they’re confused. People can misconstrue closeness for love. People can feel connected, they bond. I’m not saying all [gay people are confused]. Some people have a desire to be with the same sex. But that’s them.”
—R&B legend Stevie Wonder in the Guardian.
hyhybt
Oh, why not. Many gay people, myself included, spent years thinking they were straight; why couldn’t it be that sometimes the opposite would happen?
Neo
For lots of people sexuality is completely fluid, sometimes changing on a daily basis, for some it’s set in concrete. He’s spot on, seems a very mature and balanced attitude from Wonder on this.
EdWoody
He’s basically just describing bromances, that’s all.
GeriHew
He was talking about Frank Ocean.
Ocean hasn’t actually come out as gay or bisexual. He has stated that his first love was another man. “First love was a man” implies he has and more than one love & his subsequent loves have not been men. So most people seem to have interpreted this as meaning Frank Ocean is bisexual. He is currently listed as a bisexual musician on wikipedia.
Perhaps Stevie Wonder is the one who’s really confused about all this; not Frank Ocean.
GeriHew
@GeriHew: Sorry, TYPO.
Should be:
“First love was a man” implies he has had more than one love & his subsequent loves have not been men.
Wish we could edit our comments on here.
LadyL
This one is hard to read.
Taken at face value, what Stevie Wonder is saying is not without merit… Human beings are complex, and upbringing and experience (good or bad) can send us spinning like tops in all sorts of confusing directions.
But considered carefully, and given Wonder’s generational and cultural references (not to mention the long discomfort with gay within the black community and hostility toward it within the Black church), this statement feels suspiciously like Stevie trying to deny Ocean’s non-heterosexuality without coming off like a total bigot: “Forgive (Ocean) because he knows not who he wants.”
*
And as for Frank Ocean not having specifically come out as gay, my thought is that probably he feels he doesn’t have to. He’s written very poetically and movingly already about his love for another man–what, does he need to draw everyone a picture as well??
People who want to say that he’s not really THAT are looking for something to justify their wish that he’s just young and it’s just a phase, he’s confused, is all. (Thus Mr. Wonder’s statement?)
MikeE
you don’t “know you’re gay” because you feel “closeness” to someone.
let’s not beat around the bush here.
most people are aware of their sexual identity when they feel… wait for it… sexual attraction. not “closeness”. there’s nothing “confusing” about feeling sexual attraction. The only confusion arises when people try to DENY their own sexual attraction.
yeah, yeah, yeah, sexuality is fluid and all that garbage.. but still, it has nothing to do with the very simple fact that NO ONE is “confused” about a hard-on in their pants. And sexual attraction starts considerably before sexual activity.
I think Wonder is just off the mark with these comments, and he’s simply speaking from a place of ignorance.
Michael
“You’re not gay, you’re just confused.”
Give me a flying flipping break here. Yes, many, if not most, are bisexual but that’s not confusion, that’s bisexuality.
hf2hvit
Obviously, he needs to figure out what he can’t see
MK Ultra
Wow. Major ignorance on Stevie’s part.
Realize that he wasn’t making a comment on human sexuality in general and it being fluid, like many on here have interpretted. He was talking specifically about gay men being confused. Not people in general. Gay men.
It’s basically a variation on the Christian “it’s not love, it’s lust”.
Confusion? kinda like mental illness or choice.
How come there always has to be some ominous and traumatic cause for homosecuality?
Molestation, confusion, indoctrination….
How about “it’s a natural state of being that some are born with”?
How come straight people aren’t labeled the same way?
Many people on here are giving Stevie a pass and really stretching to put his comment in a positive light but the fact is it’s the same language used by hate groups. NOM has been saying gays are confused for years.
hf2hvit
Lots of straight people are just confused. They get married, have kids, become republicans and then join Larry Craig’s Men’s Room Toe-Tappin’ Boogie Dance Troupe.
hephaestion
So Stevie is misinformed about gay people. It is harder to be well-informed about gayness if you are visually impaired and straight. Maybe someone will clear things up for him now. I don’t think he meant to be anti-gay and I do not think he IS anti-gay. Just misinformed.
the other Greg
By this reasoning, if blind guys think they’re straight, maybe they’re confused because after all they can’t see hoo-hoos and boobies.
Avenger
@the other Greg: They don’t need to be able to see them, they can still feel them, which is the best part….
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
out of interest are their any congenitally blind gay people? how would that even work? without the visual cues that operate on the reward centres in the brain how could one adequately make a comparison let alone form a sexual preference/realise your orientation? is voice enough? and touching can only get you so far, as it were.
at the risk of sounding patronising i’ll give him a pass on account of of his blindness. though it certainly was a clumsy way to express it i’m airing on the side that he meant well rather than any malice. but i could be wrong.
NYEsq
If Stevie is right, then he must not really be blind; he is just “confused” about seeing clearly!
Rockery
Hmm not sure what his point is of course not every person who has a gay relationship is gay but most are, same for gays who tried to be with women for whatever reason and realized they are gay (although they probably already knew)
LadyL
@MK Ultra: Point well taken. Stevie Wonder is a musical genius, and I’ve loved his music for many years, and still do, and always will– so maybe part of me was trying to cut him slack he really doesn’t deserve. It dawned on me as I read your comment (and the comments of others here) that another problem with his statement is that he’s obviously ignoring the reality that he’s worked closely and consistently for many years with other musical geniuses. Talented, brilliant gay men (and women) that Stevie knew, had to know, were gay. We may not know all their names–but he does, since that sort of thing tends to be an open secret within the entertainment industry.
I said his generational and cultural background are likely animating his viewpoint–and that’s probably the kindest thing one can say about why Stevie made that statement. In a changing world, people tend to cling to the prejudices they grew up with, prejudices they learned at their parents and grandparents knees.
@PRINCE OF SNARKNE$$ aka DIVKID: While Stevie may not have intended malice, he was also not being honest. And his being blind has no bearing on what should be an adult’s awareness that there are all kinds of people in this world–all kinds of people helped make him an icon of modern pop and soul music, after all.
jwrappaport
I’m tempted to chalk up Stevie Wonder’s unbelievably glib and patronizing remark to ignorance, but then again, he and I rarely see eye-to-eye.
niles
I think he just outed himself as “having feelings” for other men but “no homo”, or – his herpes has spread to his brain.
Kev C
I think Stevie is trying to clue us in about Ocean. But instead of taking the clue, dumb gays get offended. Omg show bizzness is totally fake, omg.
sandy k
This raises a few questions I’ve always had.
Can a (born) blind person be gay?
Is MY attraction to people of the same-sex purely VISUAL?
Would I be attracted to MEN, if I had been born blind, and couldn’t SEE them?
And are there blind people (like Stevie Wonder), who are Hetero now, but would be gay if they were ‘sighted’ and could SEE all of the beautiful men surrounding them in the world?
Just WONDERing!
Chris-MI
@sandy k: Touching someone’s face (and body) activates the visual cortex which lets a blind person “see” other people. That said, imagine having a bunch of fun pen pals of both genders and ask yourself if you would have different ideas about what plans you’d make for meeting the men and women in person.
GeriHew
@sandy k: Of course a born blind person can be gay. Or bi, or straight, or asexual. Or confused for that matter.
horace
You’re not gay. You’re confused.
vs.
Gay is normal. Glad you are gay. You are welcome here.
Which do you prefer?
Michael
@Neo…what on earth are you talking about? What is with this “sexuality is fluid” nonsense as a way to justify Stevie’s cloaked hate speech? If sexuality is fluid, does that make the person confused? A bisexual or pansexual isn’t confused about the fact that they don’t limit themselves to one gender. They all know exactly who they are. A person who confuses closeness with sexual attraction is another story. More importantly, those confused about homosexuality make up a small number of a very large population. We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if it were the reverse…if a gay person was confused because of his attraction to the opposite gender, hate groups would be jumping at the opportunity to say that homosexuality is a choice and that the confused person was a perfect example of such.
Michael
@Sandy…you don’t have to see d1ck to know that you like it. Most of the time, it’s buried and hidden in an orafice and giving great pleasure to the person who can’t see where it’s buried.
dvlaries
Oh maybe I’ll just remind myself that Stevie’s field of expertise is music, not sexual psychology, and leave it at that.
Cee
Stevie’s remarks are not anti-gay. He’s right. Two people can feel connected and have a bond and it can be confusing. There are also instances in which a person can have such an admiration for someone that the lines get crossed and it can be confusing. Like Steve said some people have a desire to be with the same sex, but that’s them. That’s not everyone. Sometimes guys do get very close and the lines get crossed and it can be very confusing. There are men who have that one relationship with a guy and after that never do it again. You ever hear people say “I was at a different place in my life back then?” People are very circumstantial and complex. Not everyone knows what’s what. Anyway, Steve apologized for his comment because of the gays that got their panties in a bunch. It’s a shame. He expressed his opinion very respectfully and did not say anything anti-gay and you guys attacked him. But you want people to accept you. You sure don’t make it easy.
Dan Avery
Of course blind people can be gay! I know some. We’re not all default off-of-the-factory-floor straight and then see a hot guy and “turn” gay. That’s basically suggesting blind people have NO sexuality because they don’t get visual cues. Presumably they rely on other cues–touch, smell, sound…well, we’ll leave “taste” alone.
Neo
@Michael: Relax, I merely misread what he said. Apparently the addition [and my previous ignorance of] grammar put what he says in a much different light.
Nuts to him.
balehead
I know it can stun certain gays, but not all relationships involving same sex love are gay…deal with it….
MartinDK
@sandy k: Sex and sexuality is not a function of vision. Blind animals or animals with poor vision reproduce anyway… Also when we are born we are not born empty. A “program” unfolds which is subject to modification/inhibition etc. Sexuality is inborn on us all even the blind, and expression of sexuality is also subject to modification based on individual experiences in life. It is very controversial what makes people gay but its not vision then only blind people would be straight. Vision is important to those who have it so we attach importance to it, but it is not the cause of sexual attraction. It is a means of attraction. To some it is exciting to blindfolded or have sex in dark rooms…
It is not only the right wing who thinks that psychological factors like mother ties can make people gay. It is of little practical consequence because orientation doesnt change by any “treatment” nor is being gay that “bad”. I dont see why it should be better for us if the cause of gayness is genetic or hormonal? People would still call it “sick” anyway. Trying to change the orientation is much more harmful. Much better to live with it and accept that we are different, you dont show acceptance by calling others confused…
GeriHew
@MartinDK: Re ” It is very controversial what makes people gay but its not vision then only blind people would be straight.”
HUH?
Nixter
Great comments, everybody.
Cam
Wow, the desperation to tap dance around this is really shocking.
He is a bigot, and then offered a non apology apology. Merely liking somebody’s music or being inspired at them overcoming a physical handicap such as blindness doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to pretend that they said something different than what they said.
It’s like the people who tried to claim Carrie Prejean wasn’t a bigot because she was pretty and said “No Offence” before she made homophobic comments.
GeriHew
@Cam: I don’t agree. There’s nothing bigoted about what he said in his original comment or his apology.
Bigotry is the state of mind or attitude of a bigot, defined by Merriam-Webster as “a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance”.
How is this:
“Clearly, love is love, between a man and a woman, a woman and a man, a woman and a woman and a man and a man.”
An expression of homophobia or any kind of bigotry?
davros
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KARUADAM
MR, Wonder you are not blind! you are “Confused” but you were like, so many years now open your eye and see!!.