It all started with an episode of How to Get Away with Murder.
24-year-old Reddit user fly_idol had just broken up with his girlfriend of two-and-a-half years when he flipped on the television and saw two guys going at it on the hit ABC show.
“I saw Connor and another guy making out,” he writes in a book-length Reddit thread titled Straight Guy Got Curious Now Falling For Another Man. “That didn’t bother me at all. In fact, I started to get hard. I had no idea why at the time.”
A few days passed and fly_idol couldn’t stop thinking about those two guys kissing on TV and how turned on he got from watching it.
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“So my curiosity got the best of me and I started looking up gay porn,” he confesses. “Come to find out, it really turned me on. This went on for a couple of months until finally I decided that I was going to give in to my curiosity and find out for myself if this is what I liked.”
So he turned to Grindr. That’s where he met 22-year-old “Justin.”
“Justin is two years younger than me,” fly_idol writes. “He also thought of himself as a straight guy, who was just curious. He had never dated guys, only messed around a few times. In fact, he had just got out of a relationship with a girl about the same time I did.”
The two chatted for a few weeks before finally agreeing to meet at fly_idol’s place.
“I was scared to be honest,” he writes. “This was all so new to me.”
But it didn’t take long for him to let down his guard. Justin was so kind, so gentle, and so… “hot!”
“He looked 100 times better than any of the snaps or pics he sent,” fly_idol writes. So naturally, “we started making out, and that led to other things that I won’t post on here. Let’s just say we thoroughly enjoyed each other.”
“So that was my first experience with a guy,” he says.
Since their encounter, fly_idol and Justin have chatted “every single day” and have continued to hookup on DL.
“We don’t want anyone to know about our secret,” he says. “So I’m totally a closet bi/gay. The past few weeks, I’ve developed really strong feelings for him. I truly care about him more than anyone I’ve ever been with. We’ve talked about it and he feels the same way towards me.”
The only problem? Justin says he wants to take things “slow.”
“I have NO idea what taking it slow means,” fly_idol laments. “I’m wondering if it means meeting up less often, not having sex every time we’re together, not doing sweet little things for each other.”
“Anyways,” he continues, “does anyone out there have a similar story/experience? I want to know how it turned out and all that. Advice on taking things slow after having done everything together already?”
Here’s hoping these two new love birds can figure things out.
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BJ McFrisky
Let’s hope he never sees two women going at it, or he might become a lesbian.
Kieran
Which is why straight people like Billy Chrystal get so freaked out seeing gay sex on TV. Puts ideas in your head that could possibly turn you into a homo.
SnakeyJ
I’m tired of these fake Reddit stories. People write fantasies… this doesn’t sound real at all. I wish Queerty would stop “reporting” on this stuff.
Phillip
@SnakeyJ: Yeah, sounds like bad erotica without the good part.
Xzamilio
I understand what he’s going through. When I watched How To Get Away With Murder, I realized I was a strong black woman.
DistingueTraces
@SnakeyJ: So much this.
It makes the editors seem desperate in two different ways.
First, you come off as thirsty for straight boys, which is just sad. Not judging — we all did it back in college, when we were desperate and confused and clueless and lonely. But it’s not a good look for a grown up fellow.
Second, you are leeching content from Reddit. Have you no dignity? Is there really no other site you could choose?
Lazycrockett
@Xzamillio I realized that I wanted to be a cheerleader.
jwtraveler
The Christian homophobes were right all along. Seeing gay people on TV can make you gay. YAY!
Cagnazzo82
Yet another example of a bisexual who didn’t realize he was bi until he was literally confronted with it.. (if the story as told is to be believed).
One would have to imagine having a girlfriend he had to have at least been attracted to her physically/mentally… and of course while having sex. Otherwise he would’ve realized it sooner.
My theory is that there’s far more where he came from. And he is the quintessential example of why some people out there are convinced ‘homosexuality’ is a personal choice. Or rather why some confused bi people are adamant it’s simply a lifestyle choice for everyone else to be gay.
Mike G
@DistingueTraces: “Second, you are leeching content from Reddit. Have you no dignity?” AMEN!
As for the guy in the story. If it’s true, bully for him! I’ve never understood how someone could reach post-adolescence without an apparent inkling of their own sexual orientation, whether they’re willing to acknowledge or act on it, or not. He should just be glad it didn’t suddenly hit him when was even older, when it could really screw with his and maybe others’ lives.
Tebn
He is not gay but he is obviously bisexual. It’s great that he accepts his feelings, as long as he does not deceive or use other people.
Anyway, this is probably a phase, he should enjoy and not becoming stressed, the bisexual men always end up in straight relationships.
AxelDC
I had another friend who also didn’t think of himself as gay. He became friends with a guy he met in school, and then they became roommates. They began having a sexual relationship, but never told anyone else. They dated girls but spent most of their time with each other. It wasn’t until they graduated and moved apart that they realized that they were a gay couple.
In retrospect, my friend says it was obvious, but at the time he just thought he was into this one guy. They have since broken up, but he continues to date guys and hasn’t gone out with a girl since college.
Captain Obvious
Reddit “articles” are worse than Davey Wavey “articles”. Fake stories are a regular thing on Reddit.
NoCagada
@Tebn: Please, tell us how he is “obviously bisexual”, oh, wise one…
Tebn
@NoCagada:He is sexually attracted by both men and women. He has had long-term relationships with women and now he is discovering he likes men too.
DarkZephyr
@Tebn: “Anyway, this is probably a phase, he should enjoy and not becoming stressed,”
“This is probably a phase” is one of the more ancient homophobic cliches out there. You really felt the need to repeat it?
“the bisexual men always end up in straight relationships.”
Been in a same sex relationship with my bisexual guy for 2 years and had been talking romantically for a year before that and we are going to get married because we love each other more than we have ever loved anyone else in the entire world. Sometimes bisexuals end up in same sex relationships.
Aranos
@DistingueTraces
You know what’s really sad? Gays telling other gays what they’re allowed to lust after.
Straight guys are men, and gays lust after men – so it’s perfectly normal they also lust after straight men.
Telling yourself you don’t lust after them because in your world it is not socially acceptable is weak, pathetic, hypocritical and schizophrenic.
What’s even worse is when you try to impose your views on others by making them feel inferior and guilty – because it’s just what homophobes do with gays all the time.
And I can tell you that lusting after straight guys helped me to find out many of them weren’t as straight as I everyone was saying…
In most mammals there is no clean separation between sexualities, so why should there be one in humans? Just because our homophobic society says that gays are only acceptable as long as they remain amongst themselves? Ask yourself why you feel the urge to help spread such homophobic views and to preach sexual apartheid…
Aranos
If I had done what I was told to do and hadn’t lusted after “straight men” I wouldn’t have got the guy I’m with right now and still would be alone and isolated – just what society wants us to be…
Clark35
This guy never was “straight” if he’s curious about men or getting aroused to them, and yeah it’s pretty obvious he is bisexual.
But this is from reddit the land of TL;DR rants about nothing like the above, professional victims, and people who have way too much time on their hands.
Northboy AE
@Xzamilio: FTW!!!
I salute you, Sir.
Gary_Gans
I never take Reddit stories are just that: stories. Some come out early in life and others later, even very late in life. Some people are gay. Same people are lesbian. Some people are bisexual. Some people are trans. Some people are straight. It’s all good, as long as you respect others for their sexuality or sexual identity.
Narratives like these could happen, but this is something that I don’t believe is a typical sexual awakening. I have always been attracted to men. Society, especially ones that are homophobic and are threatened with assaults, rape, homicide, and bullying. Sometimes people with latent sexuality can be the most dangerous. The Myth of Reparative Therapy sometimes use this analogy to suggest that something as two men kissing on TV, with closed-mouth kisses and cuddles with their gym bodies exposed would hold any weight to one’s sexuality, as in that these men kissing another just made this happen
Gary_Gans
@Gary_Gans: (cont’d) is alluring for some, but there are far too many hurdles for that person to arrive at self-acceptance. Being a mentor and/or friends is good, as long as you understand that they need support, not sex at that point of their lives. I saw these second season of the programme, and the accuracy had many good points, but I was not impressed by it.
Yes, I had crushes on a couple of friends whose lives are very heterosexual. I stopped off the moments when we could’ve taken it further. We had enough liquor to use the “I was pissed” excuse for both of us, but during those moments, when your friend and/or you are vulnerable from loneliness, attraction, and alcohol before you dive in weigh carefully on how much you care about your friendship, because you could lose a friend. Please be careful with your heart.
Hermes
@SnakeyJ: Sounds pretty real to me – has my experience just been broader than yours or is it that I lack the snark and nastiness that I find a lot of gay men have? It must be my 24 year and counting relationship with a bisexual man, although I’m a gay man myself. It has kept me sane and not a nasty whatever.