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GREAT DANE

Straight Couple Kicked Out Of Copenhagen Gay Bar For Kissing

We’ve (semi-jokingly) railed about how straight people are taking over gay bars, but in Copenhagen, Denmark, one queer watering hole drew a line in the sand and asked a heterosexual couple to leave after they were caught kissing. On April 20, a group of gay and straight friends stopped into Never Mind in Pisserenden for some drinks. All was well until Mathilde Karlsen Hansen kissed her boyfriend—that’s when a bouncer quickly told her such activity wasn’t allowed.

One of the men accompanying Hansen was Jobbe Joller, founder of the group Homosocialt Fællesskab (Gay Social Community), who tells the Danish website Homotropolis about his confrontation with the doorman:

I told the bouncer that it had to be discrimination against heterosexuals to say that they were not allowed to kiss. [He] replied that it was unacceptable to conduct in that kind of behaviour at a gay place and that Never Mind receives a lot of emails from its gay guests concerning the high number of straight guests that visit the bar.

I asked him if it was not the same as saying that black people are not allowed to kiss in Never Mind, but he disagreed and told me that the owner of Never Mind may decide who can kiss and who can’t kiss in the bar…

I told him in a very serious tone that what they had going on was sick, and that LGBT people across Denmark struggled for acceptance and equal rights for all, while Never Mind fought against it. The discussion evolved into a quarrel in which I told him at one point that he was crazy and the most arrogant fool I had ever met.

Hansen says when the doorman initially confronted her about the kiss, “I frankly thought that it was a joke.”

The next day, Joller contacted the bar about the incident and Never Mind’s no-kissing policy for straight couples. Owner Christian Carlsen explained that the bar was one of the few gay spaces remaining in Copenhagen. “It is important to the gay community that Never Mind is kept as a gay place,” he wrote. “So it is therefore not allowed for heterosexuals to kiss and so on.”

Carlsen said the real problem is straight guys, who are often brought out to the bar by their girlfriends and then cause problems with Never Mind’s gay clientele:

Problems often arise when the girls, late at night, call their straight male friends and think it’s a good idea that they come by and join the party. They are often quite intoxicated, and most straight guys unfortunately have it a bit difficult with gay men. This often results in a serious situation which our security people than have to handle.

While we blanch at the idea of discriminating against anyone at a gay bar, we can sympathize with the desire to keep a gay bar, well, gay. What do you think—is there a reasonable way to maintain the queer spirit of a venue without instituting such draconian measures? Give us your opinion in the comments section.

Y’know, when those queens were throwing bricks at the Stonewall Riots, we doubt they imagined we’d be facing these kinds of problems one day.

Photo: Never Mind

By:           Dan Avery
On:           May 2, 2012
Tagged: , , , ,
  • 143 Comments
    • Jawsch
      Jawsch

      I’m sorry but a private business owner has the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason.

      I personally don’t want to see straight people in a gay bar. If I wanted to be around straight people (gay-friendly or not) I would go to a straight bar.

      The bar’s position in regards to straight men is something I see far too often, even here in the US. I’m tired of straight girls over-taking the gay bars. Now a days it seems like there are more of them than there are us. I go to a gay bar to be around people like myself, so I can feel comfortable and not feel strange.
      Do you see gay men parading inside of straight bars trying to take over? Hardly…give us the same decency please. ;)

      It may not be appropriate or good business sense but I fully support a business owner’s rights to refuse service to whomever they wish.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stephen
      stephen

      Hypocrisy. That is all.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nugoyxi
      Nugoyxi

      They should be going to straight bars, not gay bars. They already have pretty much every other bar, let us have ours!

      May 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tallskin2
      tallskin2

      To broaden this debate out a little – I ‘d welcome attempts by christians to pray in mosques and temples and synagogues, or muslims to chant “allah snackbar” in churches and temples etc etc

      Now that would be interesting.

      I predict a lot of very dead muslims and christians. But isn’t that what they want anyway?

      May 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tazz602
      tazz602

      It’s about FUCKING TIME!! More gay bars should do that.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      @Jawsch:

      Seriously??? Let’s look at it from another angle: the vast majority of private businesses (restaurants, hotels, movie theaters, retail stores) are owned and operated by straight people. What if they followed your policy and all put up signs saying “Straights Only”? There would barely be any place that gays could go if that was the case! I am more than willing to allow some straight guys into a gay bar so that frightening world doesn’t become a reality. But in turn, straight guys in those gay bars need to be willing to put up with a little flirting until we realize they don’t bat for our team.

      We can’t have our cake and eat it too. We can’t scream against LGBT discrimination while doing the same damn thing anytime an establishment is majority LGBT. It is incredibly hypocritical and bigoted.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John K.
      John K.

      I’m with Brandon. You people are terrible and just as bad as the homophobes. Period.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      OMG, reverse discrimination!!! Doesn’t Atlantis Cruises stop in Copenhagen??? Houston Bill, are we currently boycotting or not boycotting Atlantis??? Should we start???

      Seriously, let the str8t girls kiss their boy friends, kick em out when they object to our fucking their boy friends in the bathroom.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • erasure25
      erasure25

      If straights don’t want to make sexual/gender identity a protected class, then they can be subject to this type of discrimination as well. It goes both ways. Its funny that the straight people were shocked about this treatment. Now they know how it feels.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      Agreeing with a lot of the posters here–hets have been invading our spaces for far too long. They make no effort to make us feel welcome in their places, yet they expect us to bend over backwards to accommodate them in ours. It’s typical heterosexual arrogance, and superiority. Kick ‘em out.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      @erasure25:

      Oh, for God’s sake: do you honestly think the type of guys who are willing to go with their girlfriends to a GAY bar are the same guys discriminating against gay people? NO! With the exception of the occasional closeted Republican, almost anyone who is comfortable enough to go into a gay bar IS gay-friendly! Do you really want to punish those allies for the actions of straight bigots? If that’s the bitter attitude that we are going to take, our community doesn’t deserve to have any allies whatsoever.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris
      Chris

      @Jawsch: No, they do not. It’s called public accommodation and is the same law that says you do not have the right to refuse service to Jews, blacks, or gays. And there are many businesses that started out as a generic coffee shop or whatever and sort of morphed into the local gay hang out.

      There are many “mixed” bars where gays and straights happily hang out together. Heck, sometimes straights even go into a gay bar so that their gay friends can cuddle without being stared at. If Never Mind doesn’t want to be a mixed bar, they may have to change their atmosphere a little. Places where people hang out and eat and talk tend to attract the straight friends. The excuse they give is that a queer-friendly straight woman might bring in her homophobic boyfriend who might be disruptive. That seems like a weak reason to chase out all straights for all time.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nathan
      Nathan

      I’m all for this as basically a rhetorical strategy. There is still plenty of heterosexism and homophobia around, and gays have fewer public spaces in which they can gather socially in a way different than the outside world. Straight folk are welcome there, but I think it’s fine to say they can’t act ostentatiously sexual with their straight partners. It’s not all that harmful to anyone to be asked to leave a gay bar. Gay folks expressing affection are asked to leave places all the time, let alone threatened with violence of openly derided. If a few people are unlucky enough to ask to leave a bar for the night in order to keep the world mindful that a lot of public spaces are unfriendly and unwelcome for gay people, then I am all for it.

      While dated, much of the content from the 1990 Queer Nation Manifesto still resonates:

      [Untitled]

      Why in the world do we let heteros into queer clubs? Who gives a f— if they like us because we “really know how to party?” We have to in order to blow off the steam they make us feel all the time! They make out wherever they please, and take up too much room on the dance floor doing ostentatious couples dances. They wear their heterosexuality like a “Keep Out” sign, or like a deed of ownership.

      Why the f— do we tolerate them when they invade our space like it’s their right? Why do we let them shove heterosexuality – a weapon their world wields against us – right in our faces in the few public spots where we can be sexy with each other and not fear attack?

      It’s time to stop letting the straight people make all the rules. Let’s start by posting this sign outside every queer club and bar:

      – Rules of Conduct for Straight People

      1. Keep your displays of affection (kissing, handholding, embracing) to a minimum. Your sexuality is unwanted and offensive to many here.
      2. If you must slow dance, be an inconspicuous as possible.
      3. Do not gawk or stare at lesbians or gay men, especially bull dykes or drag queens. We are not your entertainment.
      4. If you cannot comfortably deal with someone of the same sex making a pass at you, get out.
      5. Do not flaunt your heterosexuality. Be discreet. Risk being mistaken for a lezzie or a homo.
      6. If you feel these rules are unfair, go fight homophobia in straight clubs, or
      7. Go f— Yourself.

      May 2, 2012 at 12:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Damien
      Damien

      @Nugoyxi: It’s Copenhagen, one of the most Liberal cities in the world, Gays can go straight places too. Hypocrite.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Trent
      Trent

      This is wrong. Discrimination is discrimination. Just because you were discriminated against; that does not mean that you can do it to other people. I am ashamed that people on here find it acceptable.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Damien
      Damien

      A lot of the commentary on this is obviously coming from an American perspective where discrimination like this against homosexuals is considered acceptable. This is Denmark, all such discrimination is Illegal and this bar has broken the law.

      I.E.
      “– Rules of Conduct for Straight People
      1. Keep your displays of affection (kissing, handholding, embracing) to a minimum. Your sexuality is unwanted and offensive to many here.
      2. If you must slow dance, be an inconspicuous as possible.
      3. Do not gawk or stare at lesbians or gay men, especially bull dykes or drag queens. We are not your entertainment.
      4. If you cannot comfortably deal with someone of the same sex making a pass at you, get out.
      5. Do not flaunt your heterosexuality. Be discreet. Risk being mistaken for a lezzie or a homo.
      6. If you feel these rules are unfair, go fight homophobia in straight clubs, or
      7. Go f— Yourself.”

      Get a fucking grip of yourself you fascist, if you want to be accepted by straight people in “straight bars” you’re going to have to accept straights people in gay bars. If you posted a similar sign in Straight Bars in Denmark but for gays the place would be closed down, same should apply for a gay bar.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 1 · Jawsch · Member wrote, “I’m sorry but a private business owner has the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason.”

      That’s simply not true. I’ll refer you to California’s Unruh Civil Rights Act as an example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unruh_Civil_Rights_Act .

      http://ec.europa.eu/public_opinion/flash/fl_232_sum_en.pdf has a summary of some data regarding discrimination in the E.U., which “has some of the most extensive anti-discrimination legislation in the world,” although discrimination does occur in practice and in spite of those laws. In 2007, Spain and Denmark had the highest rates of “personal experiences of discrimination due to sexual orientation,” but of course those numbers will change over time.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Laura
      Laura

      I think kicking them out is hypocritical. I don’t think they want any special treatment, but just to go to a place where they feel un-judged in. I am bi. I have a lovely gf at the moment but heaven forbid and we break up and I find myself a guy, can I not bring him to a gay bar where I feel more comfortable in? Am I not queer enough for you then?

      Bigotry is bigotry, in either form, and in a way, worse from our community, knowing how it feels to be discriminated against. We must lead by example and be accepting of ALL people, regardless of sexual orientation.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LaTeesha
      LaTeesha

      @Brandon: Except they’re not banning heterosexuals. They’re just not letting them kiss. Kissing should be kept at home anyway. I don’t need to see anyone swapping spit.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LaTeesha
      LaTeesha

      Can you people read? They didn’t ban heterosexuals. They simply don’t let them kiss. Sounds reasonable. Nobody should be kissing in public. Keep it at home.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ousslander
      ousslander

      All the people supporting have then no right to complain about a gay couple getting kicked out of denny’s or some other place for kissing. It’s total hypocrisy.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      @LaTeesha:

      Your comments would be valid if the bar had a rule in place saying that no couples, regardless of sexual orientation, could kiss. But I highly doubt that any gay bar would have a rule like that, at least not a bar that wants to get good business. So yes, it is still discrimination against heterosexuals, despite your views on what proper public behavior is.

      And the reason we got into a discussion about banning straights from gay bars isn’t because that was what actually happened in Copenhagen. I brought that up because several posts were suggesting that straights shouldn’t be “invading” gay bars at all, regardless of what those heteros were doing in the gay bars.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Donald
      Donald

      Is the reason we’re against discrimination against gay people because its directed specifically at Gay people or is discrimination based on race, gender, or orientation wrong in principle? Any excuse can be given for excluding people, the point of the whole struggle is no excuse whatsoever can be used to deny dignity to other human beings. The people who think this was totally cool will just be part of the next mob of bigots trying to exclude whatever demographic is the latest target of biogtry in this country.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad
      CBRad

      Totally wrong to do that to them. Just my opinion.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Max the Communist
      Max the Communist

      I wish I owned a bisexual bar. I’d kick all the monosexuals out (identity must be declared at the door). All kinds of displays of affection allowed. All kinds of voyeurism allowed. All kinds of sex allowed–in the bathrooms or on top of the bar. No one has a right to complain about any of it. Don’t like it? Leave.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lightning Baltimore
      Lightning Baltimore

      Short response: UNCOOL

      Golden rule, folks!

      May 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andy
      Andy

      So a church receives tax breaks and it can try to pass laws against gays.

      A private business that receives no public funding can’t set a policy as to who is allowed in.

      No double standards at all.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      @Donald:

      Exactly. I strongly suspect that the only reason these posters are for concepts of “equality” and “fairness” is because they have a personal stake in it, and not because they actually cherish those values. And based on their selfish attitudes, if these posters were straight, I wouldn’t be surprised if they joined the anti-gay crowd themselves.

      I can’t believe we need to have this absurd debate. I honestly thought the article was something from “the Onion” until I realized it was for real.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LaTeesha
      LaTeesha

      @Brandon: Rather than allow hets to kiss they ought to ban gay kissing, too. People need to edit their public behavior. But, even if the bar bans het kissing, what’s wrong with some hets that they can’t go a few hours without kissing. Are they that oversexed?

      May 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LaTeesha
      LaTeesha

      @ousslander: The majority of people don’t complain when a gay couple gets kicked out of Denny’s or off of Southwest for kissing.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      This is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. Sure we want the same rights and courtesy as heterosexual men and women but when people who are comfortable with their sexuality and don’t feel threatened by being with their gay friends at a gay bar they’re ridiculed and kicked out for kissing?! That’s a double standard if you ask me. We are asking for unity for everyone to be together no matter what. That means straight/gay/lesbian/transgendered/bisexual. We want to be accepted so shouldn’t we accept them as well? Kicking them out was done in really poor taste. Never Mind would never be a place I would go for this reason alone.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Seashell
      Seashell

      Well I am straight women and I applaud the bars stance….you just can’t have it both ways….cry foul when there is equality for all everywhere…

      May 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stonrdude
      stonrdude

      The very idea! I think they should have hauled em out back by the dumpster and beat the snot out of em. Then dragged them out front on their rears. Teach them a lesson they will never forget. No str8 kissing in gay bars!

      May 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @stonrdude: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      May 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nugoyxi
      Nugoyxi

      @ Damien

      Bars are places people meet, a lot of times to find a date or hook up with someone. They have separate places for people with separate orientations. That’s how bars work. I’m not being a hypocrite.

      May 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CMObrero
      CMObrero

      Damn. So what do we do when we wanna go to a bar with both straight and gay friends? I am gay. If what you say [“I’m sorry but a private business owner has the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason.”] is true then how should I do it? A straight bar could ban me ’cause of kissing another guy. A gay bar could ban one of my friends.
      Should we place bi bars now? That’s insane!

      I think a gay bar could be a place where all kinds of people are allowed but most of its public is gay. That makes it, I think. Don’t wanna see straight couples kissing? Please!! I see them on the street kissing everyday. This stupidity is just… stupid.

      AQll those gays who want to turn gay bars into some kind of ghetto are just stupid whores. I am sorry if I offend someone, but discriminating THEM for their sexual orientation is as bad as discriminating US. Whether it is for a job, at school, or for staying at a gay hotel or partying at a gay bar.,

      May 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @CMObrero: I agree with you COMPLETELY!!

      May 2, 2012 at 3:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      Well at least this dump “Never Mind” calls itself a “Gay Bar”, because it obviously isn’t an “LGBT Bar” – or a “Queer Bar” either.

      The only way for a venue to ensure that a male and female never kiss each other on its premises is to ban one sex from entry altogether – and that should include the entertainment of course. I wonder if you can get a special bar licence in Denmark for that?

      May 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Yogi
      Yogi

      I know if I was making our with a guy at a straight bar,we’d be asked to leave, plain and simple.

      May 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      We’re the last people on earth who should discriminate anyone for being what/who they were/are born to be. Stupid.

      May 2, 2012 at 4:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Yogi:

      Exactly.

      Straights claim they come to our bars because they feel more comfortable there, but then they drag their het friends with them, and then suddenly the people the bar is for–gay people–feel uncomfortable because we’re surrounded by straights.

      Sometimes I just want to get away from the het world I have to be in most of the day, and hang with my own kind. Buy rapidly these safe places for queer people are being over run by hets.

      Our bars, out neighbourhoods, our media. Straight white people won’t be happy until they dominate every facet, of every persons life.

      May 2, 2012 at 4:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad
      CBRad

      @Yogi: But you probably wouldn’t be asked to leave by the type of straight people who got thrown out of this bar in question, because they’re obviously gay-cool straights. (Or at least they WERE before this incident).

      May 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      I wish everyone was Bi like me.

      May 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      @Nugoyxi:

      No, that isn’t how bars work. Yeah, I’m aware that people do hook up in bars. But even for most straights, a bar is a place where you go to get some drinks and have a fun time with your friends. If you happen to strike up a conversation with a cute someone and hook up, then that’s the icing on the cake. Sure, sitcoms like to portray it otherwise for laughs, but in real life, it usually doesn’t play out like that. So if you’re main reason to go to bars is just to get some sex, that sounds like a pretty depressing existence.

      That’s why I hate this outlook some people have on here. It would essentially make it so I couldn’t ever go to a bar with my straight friends and have a good time. I don’t want to only spend the weekends with fellow gays; I prefer a little more diversity in my circle of buddies, and that door should swing both ways. I don’t see why we are deliberately trying to segregate ourselves from society.

      May 2, 2012 at 5:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Me
      Me

      End discrimination. Period. If you want to have rules that exclude, that is called a MEMBERS club, not a business that is open to the PUBLIC.

      May 2, 2012 at 5:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martin
      Martin

      This debate is ridiculous. I LIVE IN DENMARK. Copenhagen is not that big a city with only a few gay bars. Of course they should be kept gay meaning you can be sure majority of customers are gay. Gay people are about 5% of population if we do not concentrate somewhere in gay bars or gay sports clubs then how will we ever meet other people with whom we have our sexuality in common with that this entails in terms of identity interests and bla bla bla??

      Not meeting with our own kind will make us more lonely than we already feel because not everything can be shared by str8 friends. We could use the internet but theres something to be said for real life meetings too

      Str8 people should respect this. They have 95% of the world or more. They dont come to be our “allies”. They come to have a good time like in circus. Experiencing a different world and mirroring themselves in what they see playing and examining their own gender identity or for the girls enjoying a place where the guys leve them alone. While there is nothing evil about this it does take away the function of the place as a meeting place for gays.

      Str8 people who cant respect that are insensitive as are morons like the gay activist intervieed who thinks he owns the gay world and can do with it what he wants

      Those girls and gays can go to any bar in copenhagen to go out. But they choose the gay one to have a circus time…

      May 2, 2012 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      @Martin:

      A bar that is clearly labelled as a gay bar to its patrons will always have a much higher percenage of gay people in it than the general public, probably a sizeable majority. So it’s still a great place for our community to interact. Still worried you won’t be able to find a gay guy to flirt with? Well, look around the room, and an attractive man who isn’t close by some girl’s side is likely gay. And if you find out that he is straight, so what? He has no right to be pissed at you, as he knows he’s in a gay bar. You can just move on to another man. It’s no different than if you hit on a gay guy, only to find that he wasn’t single.
      Some of you are making it sound like this utterly deciminates our community when it really doesn’t.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Brandon:

      Some of you are making it sound like this utterly deciminates our community when it really doesn’t.

      Considering how many stories have been posted here on Queerty about gay bars being turned into straight bars, after they are taken over by straight management, belies the statement quoted above.

      Everyday new straight bars are opening, and old gay bars are closing. Unfortunately, not too many new gay bars are opening to replace the old ones.

      The more often gay men decide to sit at home on Grinder, or ManHunt, the more often “post gay” young people decide they’d rather go to straight bars with their straight friends, and the more often straights decide to overrun our bars, the less likely we are to have our own spaces. We’re not welcome at their bars, and we won’t have our own to go to.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @Brandon: THANK YOU!!! Hell 98% of my friends are straight and they go to the gay bars with me. YES sometimes they get hit on but they take it as a compliment and politely explain they are straight just hanging out with one of their best friends who happens to be gay. Too many crybaby little bitches worrying about straight people, worry about yourselves not the people around you. Time for you to grow up. You want equality then accept the fact that quite a large number of gay people have straight friends and love to spend time with them.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan

      The bar does not identify itself as a “queer bar” as is stated in this post. Gay people are not queer and “queer” is not a substitute term for “gay.” Anyone who thinks they are being hip and progressive by using “queer” to refer to gay people is sadly mistaken. They are also 20 years behind the times.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • disgusted american
      disgusted american

      as a gay american – I have to say – THAT was over the top and Un-necessary……seriously Copenhagen? We as gay people know better.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      These northern European gays are very segregationist and fetishistic. This mindset is counter-productive to the gay rights cause. Their reputation for being “open-minded” is not borne out by this incident.

      In any case, if northern Europeans in general are so open-minded as many of them keep saying, why is there even a need for a gay bar? Why can’t same-sex oriented men go to any bar and socialize?

      Perhaps the answer lies in these two very ugly possibilities about northern Europeans in general: they are not as open-minded as they claim to be or gays there are simply using the “gay bar” notion as a cover for sexual activity.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @nsomniac:

      You want equality then accept the fact that quite a large number of gay people have straight friends and love to spend time with them.

      Then spend time with them in a straight bar. And when a girl hits on you, take it as a compliment and politely explain you are gay just hanging out with one of your best friends who happens to be straight. I’ll be curious to see what happens.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: Happens all the time and it’s very flattering douchebag ohhh wait I meant enemabag. I always end up getting drinks and making new friends. One can never have too many friends.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones:

      That very scenario has happened to me on several occasions. I politely explained I was gay but said I appreciated the compliment. The girls often smiled and said that it was nice meeting me, and walked away. And one of the times, I had a single straight friend with me and introduced them like a good wingman does. No harm done, and my self-esteem felt great knowing that there are a few more people in the world who are interested in me, even if I’m not personally attracted to them.

      Why, what did you think would happen? That the girl would get pissed at rejection and start screaming at me? That I would be so disgusted by the a heterosexual flirt that I would vomit on the floor?

      May 2, 2012 at 7:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @Brandon: Thanks again Brandon! It does make you feel good too when it happens! I know it always does to me. But next time you need to work it better and get a free drink! I always do. LOL!!!

      May 2, 2012 at 7:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mike
      mike

      I live in a gayborhood and time after time I see guys and gals holding hands while walking down our streets, and it infuriates me to no end. If I tried holding a man’s hand in public in a straight part of the town, I’d be called names, harrassed and probably attacked. I guess the straights think they’re impressing us gays by them holding hands, and thinking, “gee look at us we’re straight, and my boyfriend and my girlfriend are off limits to all you gays and lesbians, aren’t you impressed. Hell no I’m not impressed, I turn my head everytime a see a guy and gal holding hands in our gayborhood. Get lost and stay in straightland.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @mike: Sounds like you’re a pussy and can’t take care of yourself. I hold my boyfriends hand in straight bars all the time and only had a problem one time. Well I didn’t really have a problem he had the problem. Needless to say he’s the one that left in an ambulance not me.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @nsomniac:

      That’s great! You and your friends stay in their bars, and the rest of us will stay in ours.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Brandon:

      I’m glad nothing happened to you. I can’t say the same for many gay men who have made the mistake of hitting on a straight guy, in a gay bar.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @nsomniac:

      Needless to say he’s the one that left in an ambulance not me.

      And the police arrested you when?

      May 2, 2012 at 7:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • london89
      london89

      seriously, i’m really shocked and emberassed by some comments here. gay bars should be the most open and tolerant places in the world, because gay people know how it’s to be discriminated and throwing out straight people is discrimination.

      i’m only openly gay for a couple of months and this weekend, my 2 best friends (a straight couple) are coming to visit me in london. i will take them out to a gay bar and i hope nobody will discriminate them like it happend in copenhagen. for god’s sakes they are my best friends and i just wanna have fun with them. yeah, and they will kiss, because they are in love. that’s wonderful, isn’t it?
      i see from time to time straight couples kissing in gay bars/clubs. so what? we got very open and tolerant people who feel comfortable in a gay enviroment. that’s great. i like them even more than the kind of gay guys who bother you all the time, because they are looking for their next fuck-buddy. these people are annoying, but do i ask to throw them out?

      May 2, 2012 at 7:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DrewSF
      DrewSF

      Typical heterophobia and hypocrisy from the so called LGBT or gay community.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: You’re not to bright I see that now. I’ll just leave it as you obviously rode the short bus to school. When one is assaulted you don’t go to jail. They do. It’s self defense on my part with witnesses that were more than eager to give names and numbers to the police that came. AND I’ll go to any fucking bar I want to! Trust me on that one straight or gay. When you own the fucking bar then it’s YOURS but until then it’s a bar so there is no “ours”. I’m over this thread it’s probably the most ridiculous thread EVER. SO many of us fight for equality and then … there are douche bags like you.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @london89:

      i see from time to time straight couples kissing in gay bars/clubs. so what? we got very open and tolerant people who feel comfortable in a gay enviroment. that’s great.

      Yes, that is great. But unfortunately gay couples rarely get the same kind of consideration in straight clubs.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @DrewSF:

      Yes, we’re terrible. Next thing you know we’ll get together and start some kind of proposition telling Californians who may, or may not marry. Oh, wait! Somebody beat us to it.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jabaroo
      jabaroo

      What a load of BS. It’s not okay for a “straight” (really? Straights only) to refuse gay patrons, why would it be okay the other way around? It’s not.

      May 2, 2012 at 7:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @nsomniac:

      You’re not to bright I see that now.

      You’re not too bright, I see that now.

      There, fixed it for you.

      When one is assaulted you don’t go to jail. They do.

      I thought they left in an ambulance?

      It’s self defense on my part with witnesses that were more than eager to give names and numbers to the police that came.

      Wow. No wonder girls hit on you. You’re so butch.

      AND I’ll go to any fucking bar I want to! Trust me on that one straight or gay.

      And we’ll kick out of our bars whoever we want to–straight, or gay. What’s the issue?

      When you own the fucking bar then it’s YOURS but until then it’s a bar so there is no “ours”.

      Actually, the bar is the managements. And if management decides to throw out hets, there isn’t much you can about it.

      I’m over this thread it’s probably the most ridiculous thread EVER.

      In spite of, or because of your comments?

      SO many of us fight for equality

      You’re not fighting for equality; you’re fighting for a homogenous society. You will never win that fight, because you will always be outnumbered.

      and then … there are douche bags like you.

      You’ve set the standard.

      May 2, 2012 at 8:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @jabaroo:

      You’re right–it’s not right. But it happens. Usually with an assault thrown in for good measure. Just search Queerty for stories detailing this.

      May 2, 2012 at 8:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      @london89: If you were here right now I would give you a big hug!! Thanks you!

      May 2, 2012 at 8:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Enema, where are you from? I’ve lived in places in rural America in the middle of nowhere and dated men and showed public affection to them in bars, clubs, and on the streets and nobody cared.

      May 2, 2012 at 8:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nugoyxi
      Nugoyxi

      @ Brandon

      1. It’s difficult to find people that are attracted to the same gender, so a lot of times you have to go to bars or clubs to look
      2. If straight women are allowed in lesbian bars then get upset/offended when they get hit on, that’s not fair
      3. If homophobes are allowed in a gay or lesbian bar, that’s not safe
      4. If men are allowed in lesbian bars, I don’t want them watching me kissing another woman or trying to ask for a threesome

      We have these type of venues a safe havens. If straight, gay, bi people want to hang out, go to a straight venue, there’s plenty to spare.

      May 2, 2012 at 9:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nugoyxi
      Nugoyxi

      @ jabaroo

      Because gay people usually don’t assault straight people for their orientation, plus straight people can go anywhere without fear, they can pick up potential partners pretty much anywhere.

      May 2, 2012 at 9:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mudgeboy
      mudgeboy

      I love it. It’s about time that heterosexuals feel the sting of discrimination. Almost every place in the world is “home” to heteros, how about if gay people have a place where we can meet people like us. All my life I’ve been going to movies to watch a boy and a girl fall in love and swap spit, as if that’s the only kind of affection that exists. We watch commercials where a boy and a girl get married, as if that’s the only possibility in the world. So now we have to go to a gay bar and watch heteros swap spit. I’m sick of this inversion.

      May 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jabaroo
      jabaroo

      @Nugoyxi: That doesn’t explain why It’s okay to kick out heterosexual patrons from a gay bar.

      May 2, 2012 at 9:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J Stratford
      J Stratford

      @erasure25:

      Agreed. As long as sexual orientation is not a protected class, will be at risk of being treated this way.

      Now, I dont want them treated that way, personally. But things like this should be a teaching moment to straights on how bad it is for gays.

      May 2, 2012 at 9:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nugoyxi
      Nugoyxi

      @ jabaroo

      As long as they’re not homophobic and/or not hanging all over each other, I don’t think it’s right to kick them out, they should be able to go to a gay bar if they want, I’m just saying they shouldn’t be there in the first place, they already have tons of choices of places to go

      May 2, 2012 at 10:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jabaroo
      Jabaroo

      @Nugoyxi: The idea that they shouldn’t be there is silly anf the reasoning behind is poor as well. The couple went there with their gay friend by the way, for some people who didn’t bother to read the article (I’m not suggesting that was you).

      May 2, 2012 at 10:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • micha
      micha

      Wow. Lively discussion going on over here.

      Personally, I’m all for equality and tolerance. Aren’t we all? In a perfect world we’d be allowed to party whereever we want and kiss whomever we want.

      Unfortunately the world isn’t.

      When a group is marginalised, it tends to create exclusive havens as a safe and comfortable environment for its members to socialise, interact, and generally ‘be themselves’. So I understand the reasoning behind arguments of those preferring to keep gay bars ‘gay’. Yet encouraging discrimination won’t lead to any good. If we put “No Straights Allowed” signs up, we’re bound to see “No Gays Allowed” signs up as well. Is that really what we want?

      I think it all just comes down to respect and consideration of your environment. We’d all like to hang loose and be ourselves but surely there are and will always be rules of decorum to obey. If gays don’t make out in straight clubs, then maybe straights don’t make out in gay clubs. Simple, no?

      May 2, 2012 at 10:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • micha
      micha

      @jabaroo:
      I don’t think they were kicked out due to their orientation as much as conduct.

      May 2, 2012 at 10:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nugoyxi
      Nugoyxi

      @ Nugoyxi

      That’s fine, but if they wanted to hang out, they should have gone to a straight bar. Let us have our places please (I’m saying that to them).

      May 2, 2012 at 10:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Danny
      Danny

      Sounds like the solution is to bar intoxicated people gay or straight from entering the bar after a certain hour. Or issue shock collars to everyone so you can zap them remotely if they get uppity inside the bar.

      May 3, 2012 at 1:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SixPackWallpapers
      SixPackWallpapers

      Just LOL

      May 3, 2012 at 1:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martin
      Martin

      @Brandon: @nsomniac: wow its always refreshing to see someone approaching an issue from an original angle: that of your own nosetip… What you didnt quite clarify is why you go to gay bars at all?? I mean you like being hit on by straight girls (wow again!! Player!!) and you are so macho you can beat up the straight guys who cant deal with homos. I mean you guys sound like a boon to nightlife everywhere and to all the people around you. Egocentricity is in short supply these days…

      What makes a gay bar gay? A flag outside? The owners philosophy and business model? Or does it also require some actual gay patrons inside??
      Its impossible to say how many straights it takesto ruin a bars gay feeling. You have to draw aline somewhere. Thats what they did in CPH. They want to run a gay bar. People who never visited and sit 3000 miles and cry hypocrite probably arent thinking too deeply just here for self-righteous little kick they get when asserting their “high” moral standard….

      May 3, 2012 at 1:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert
      Robert

      I go to gay bars to watch and meet gay men. I resent straights taking up bar stools and blocking my view. I now avoid most gay bars because some of them are so “inclusive.” if I want to fondle a friend’s crotch, I shouldn’t have to worry about offending a straight.

      May 3, 2012 at 3:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @Jawsch: I’m sorry but a private business owner has the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason.

      I personally don’t want to see gay people in a straight bar. If I wanted to be around gay people (straight-friendly or not) I would go to a gay bar.

      The bar’s position in regards to gay men is something I see far too often, even here in the US. I’m tired of gay girls over-taking the straight bars. Now a days it seems like there are more of them than there are us. I go to a straight bar to be around people like myself, so I can feel comfortable and not feel strange.
      Do you see straight men parading inside of gay bars trying to take over? Hardly…give us the same decency please. ;)

      See what I did there? Bigotry is bullshit. If these claims were made by a straight person you would go postal on them, and you know it.

      There is nothing wrong with having straight people frequent our clubs. It is those straight people, our allies, that are more often than not doing more for our rights than most of the people here posting. Learn to respect people for who they are. I have no problem with straight people at our clubs. I have no problem with them kissing at our clubs. I have no problem with them doing other things at our clubs.

      One time, this straight guy brought his girlfriend to the campground I go to. She blew him in the hot tub with about 5-10 guys watching. Everyone was just happy for the show, good times!

      May 3, 2012 at 7:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @erasure25: No, its not funny because these straight people were with the leader of a homosexual rights group. Which means, that these straight people were very likely involved in the gay rights cause. Yes, straight people can be involved in the gay rights cause. In fact, we owe a great deal to our straight allies whom have supported us since the movement began.

      The first true movement towards equality in the United States was that of soldiers fighting their dishonorable discharges from World War II for being gay (or being perceived as having same sex attractions). That fight was spearheaded by predominately black civil rights groups and other allies at a time when gay people were doing little of their own advocacy.
      (Sociopolitical Antecedents to Stonewall: Analysis of the Origins of the Gay Rights Movement in the United States written by Cynthia Cannon Poindexter).

      May 3, 2012 at 8:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @LaTeesha: Are you that afraid of sexual activity, that (1)) you think a simple kiss is sexual activity and (2) you think that all sexual activity should happen behind closed doors.

      That is a very narrow view.

      May 3, 2012 at 8:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: You seriously feel that uncomfortable around straight people? I feel sorry for you. I have never had those kind of issues with straight people. A great deal of my very best friends are supportive straight allies. I would not want to “get away from them” and I do not “feel uncomfortable because [I’m] surrounded by them.”

      Hell, I’ve had more fun times and good experiences with straights than with some gay guys (who are normally even more judgmental than the straights). My partner’s firm already has full equality for gays. All of his straight co-workers have gone out of their way to be supportive. The same is true for the university where my partner sits on the board. It is a Catholic University, and I have still been made to feel welcome. They actually had Judy Shepard speak there in 2001 or 2002. The same is true for the church where I used to go which is a mixture of gays and straights, and where my partner and I have held hands and kissed. The people there are very warm and welcoming. I have even been made to feel welcome at my workplace.

      My point being, you can not seriously hope for equality if you feel the need to separate yourself from straight people. SEPARATE IS NOT EQUAL!!!

      May 3, 2012 at 8:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Robert,

      You shouldn’t be fondling a friend’s crotch in a gay bar. A bar is a place for social intercourse, not sexual intercourse. If you want sexual intercourse, you can always retire to your room.

      As for why gay men get angry at the sight of straights holding hands, I think it’s because it shows that society is still unbalanced in what it allows on the mass social level. Despite our social progress, and despite small pockets of acceptance in big cities, two men holding hands is still socially a no-no in America. Liberals haven’t progressed to the stage where they think it’s cool.

      Women are specifically to blame because women are very envious of male-male sensuality regardless of whether it’s sexual or not. Women are EXTREMELY jealous creatures. They may tolerate the concept of male-male sensuality in a “gay bar” but they won’t tolerate it out on main street. If a woman sees her boyfriend getting sensuous with a male in an ordinary mainstream bar, she’s likely to have a pink fit.

      The other thing is the notion I mentioned in my previous point on this thread – ie gay men see their venues as an opportunity for on-the-spot sexual activity and not just mild affection. Many gay bars are unofficial sex-on-premises venues, with bar owners frequently turning a blind eye to things like oral sex in the beer garden.

      May 3, 2012 at 8:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @Brandon: Plus, if he is that open about his sexuality, you might make a new friend, and even straight guys like good head sometimes. (KIDDING!)

      May 3, 2012 at 8:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @Dan: So this site QUEERty is 20 years behind the times? Did the irony of making such a statement on a site you visit called QUEERty just escape you? You can’t be that dense!

      May 3, 2012 at 8:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: Yes and that proposition is going through the court system and is about to be heard by a group of 9 STRAIGHT people. I really hope that at least 5 of those STRAIGHT people are not as close minded as you are!

      May 3, 2012 at 8:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @jason: Take your sexist bullshit and go away. I have had more supportive female friends in my life than I have had gay friends. I really feel sorry for you that you have been so sexist your whole life that you honestly believe that women are the cause of problems in the gay world. Your mother must not have been such a saint, eh?!?

      May 3, 2012 at 8:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh Dear (John From England)
      Oh Dear (John From England)

      Why has no one mentioned that the business have had issues before with women bringing their straight friends? Hello?

      I dont know what naive world you live in but when I lived in manchester, all the straights that used to go to the bars on canal street after the popularity of queer as folk, we’re not allies!

      May 3, 2012 at 9:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Meme
      Meme

      I think people are misssing the part of this that this is a rhetorical strategy. Most people want every public space to be safe and open to all peoples. The problem is that right now, they aren’t. Heterosexual couples (regardless of their actual identity) are allowed all sorts of public displays of affection wherever they go, and are often encouraged or applauded for it. The rest of us are not so fortunate as of yet. We like gay bars because they are counterpublic spaces, places to be social and engaging, but the rules of the outside world don’t really apply the same way(even though we are cognizant of them). These spaces allow people to be themselves in ways that are difficult or even dangerous elsewhere. I don’t think I hear many cisgender straight folk describing their experience of living with their sexuality as dangerous. So coming into a gay bar, and not recognizing the importance/vital value of it to its patrons, is disrespectful. While I’d love it if we can all be/feel free to be as open everywhere, queer folk still do not have the ability. The least straight people can do when in gay bars then is to check their privilege for a few hours, and if they really can’t, to go somewhere else. This bar and others rarely enforce this “policy,” and I think it is done to raise awareness about the discrimination gays face in other business/establishments/publics. The couple who were kissing I think will get over this, and maybe even think about the experiences gay folk have kissing in “straight” spaces (i.e. basically everywhere not designated otherwise) and the risks they have to take to do so.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @ousslander: Seconded. This is utter bullshit.

      Jesus? Where’s that face palm GIF when you need it.

      @jason: “As for why gay men get angry at the sight of straights holding hands, I think it’s because it shows that society is still unbalanced in what it allows on the mass social level.”

      LOL. Or maybe the gay man in question is simply an imbecile who can’t accept the fact that not all people share the same likes and dislikes. Diversity, sweetheart. Look it up.

      “Despite our social progress, and despite small pockets of acceptance in big cities, two men holding hands is still socially a no-no in America. Liberals haven’t progressed to the stage where they think it’s cool.”

      The hick town that breeds sexist pigs like you isn’t the only state in America… just so we’re clear.

      “Women are specifically to blame because women are very envious of male-male sensuality regardless of whether it’s sexual or not.”

      I love how you’ve suggested that you’ve met every single woman in the world.

      “Women are EXTREMELY jealous creatures.”

      And I also love how you’ve mutated to develop the power of telepathy. Good for you.

      “They may tolerate the concept of male-male sensuality in a “gay bar” but they won’t tolerate it out on main street. If a woman sees her boyfriend getting sensuous with a male in an ordinary mainstream bar, she’s likely to have a pink fit.”

      Maybe the woman who had a pink fit while you were looking at her man just got upset because she just doesn’t see the possibility of a three way with you. Maybe you’re just not hot. It’s OK. You know what they say, “it gets better.”

      May 3, 2012 at 9:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @Brandon: “Do you really want to punish those allies for the actions of straight bigots? If that’s the bitter attitude that we are going to take, our community doesn’t deserve to have any allies whatsoever.”

      *claps hands frantically.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @Mike: “Enema, where are you from?”

      Probably from the same hell hole that breeds bigoted cavemen like JayKay and Jason.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @jason: “These northern European gays are very segregationist and fetishistic.”

      It takes one to know one.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @Nugoyxi: “Because gay people usually don’t assault straight people for their orientation.”

      So what you’re saying is that we should be catching up? How awfully progressive of you…

      May 3, 2012 at 9:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @Damien: “It’s Copenhagen…”

      All the more reason to why this news is devastatingly disappointing.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vireyda
      vireyda

      As a straight friend, when I go out with my gay friends we tend to go to spaces that are safe and welcoming to them because they’ve had some negative experiences elsewhere. I don’t want to take up anyone elses space, or make anyone feel like I’m invading..

      At the same time I want them to be comfortable and safe and not harassed, and I want to put my dollars into businesses that provide these spaces.

      A lot of you here seem angry about straight people in your spaces and I don’t want to challenge the validity of those feelings at all. I do however want to find that happy medium where I can go out with gay friends to places they feel good going to.

      May 3, 2012 at 11:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martin
      Martin

      @Belize: @Daez: To all the fantastic, bitterly disappointed and self-righteous people who are so concerned about gay segregation and the effect on straight allies…

      Why do you even go to a GAY bar why not go to a straight one. If the gayness of a gay bar contributes nothing then why go? Why dont your straight ally friends take you to straight bars and sort out your difficulties when you hit on a couple of guys who are 99% likely to be straight. Theyd have a great chance to stand up for gay rights then… And show some of that solidarity when it matters…

      And heres a fact for you. The owner said that he didnt want his bar to share the fate of a well-known gay night club that closed because gay people voted with their feet when it became too popular with straight people.
      Now how could that be??? Are most gays just backward bigots, or could it be that it actually matters that there is a high probability that who you hit on shares samesex attraction. Going out gets a little tiresome if 5 out 6 says “sorty im straight…”

      May 3, 2012 at 11:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martin
      Martin

      @vireyda: Not many would consider that behaviour offensive. On the other hand if a gay guy brings his 5 closest women friends and they call their bfs who turn up quite drunk and make a hassle then it quickly takes away from the fun for the gay patrons, if they can even get in. That is the reality facing this bar. It is no longer inclusive, it is alienating the gay clientele

      May 3, 2012 at 12:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Danny
      Danny

      Barfing on people is a quick way to get them to stop kissing. Get a friend to punch you in the gut and just aim. If they ask, just say seeing heteros suck face made you queezy. Tell them if they were better looking you would have been fine with it, but butt ugly people kissing makes you hurl. Be sincere. LOL.

      May 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @Martin: Actually, I rarely go to bars at all. However, I do go to plenty of restaurants and coffee shops. Those places always manage to have mixed crowds that simply get along. I do not see how the bar scene is that much different, then again it is the bar scene.

      If you want to go somewhere just to hook up for the night and only be surrounded by gay guys then go to a bath. It makes things much less complicated and a whole lot faster.

      May 3, 2012 at 2:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Daez:

      I tolerate straight people because they’re the majority, but I don’t have to like them.

      My point being, you can not seriously hope for equality if you feel the need to separate yourself from straight people. SEPARATE IS NOT EQUAL!!!

      You’ve worked so hard to be accepted by straights, that you chastise us just like they do:

      I’ve had more fun times and good experiences with straights than with some gay guys (who are normally even more judgmental than the straights)

      It’s apparent you’ve fully integrated into the world-wide het world. Why do you feel it’s necessary to force me to go along? No one has stopped you from becoming homogenous, or forced you to remain within the gay world. Why not give me the same courtesy when I state that I just don’t feel like hanging around straight people 24/7?

      May 3, 2012 at 4:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Daez:

      I really hope that at least 5 of those STRAIGHT people are not as close minded as you are!

      If straight people weren’t closed minded in the first place, we wouldn’t have had to deal with Prop8. They argue to take away our equality, then we have to wait while they argue to return. Do you not see the absurdity in that, Daez?

      May 3, 2012 at 4:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Meme:

      What Meme said.

      May 3, 2012 at 4:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Belize:

      *claps hands frantically.

      While shuffling his feet, smiling and saying, “Yassh, massa!”

      Straight people didn’t fight for the equity you enjoy today. So stop acting like they are your savior.

      May 3, 2012 at 4:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Martin:

      Martin, unfortunately a lot of gay people–men especially–are desperate to be accepted by straight people–men especially. As witnessed by many of the comments here, those gay men will denounce, ridicule, and name call gay people, and in the same breath praise straight people for not rejecting them.

      May 3, 2012 at 4:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @vireyda:

      Vireyda, yours is a reasonable comment.

      What I would like to point out is that for a lot of gay men, we inhabit the straight world pretty much all the time. Some of us are openly gay, a lot of us are not. For those of us who have to suppress who we are, for whatever reason, sometimes we just like to hang out with gay people to take a break from straight people.

      Some of us came out later in life, and are just experiencing the gay community. Because we spent so many years closeted, surrounding ourselves with straight people, we would like to experience life with gay people.

      Some of us have had, (as you pointed out in your comment,) negative situations with straight people, and just feeler safer in a predominately gay place.

      Many of us have felt rejection from straight people for being gay. It’s rare that a gay person will be rejected by another gay person because of their sexual orientation.

      I genuinely appreciate that you take the concern, and care for your friends safety, and peace of mind seriously; not too many straight people do, or would. Just understand that not all the patrons of the gay bars you visit will feel comfortable having you there.

      May 3, 2012 at 4:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mike
      mike

      @nsomniac:@nsomniac: Uh oh, nsomniac, someone hit a raw nerve somewhere on your bod. Why get so testy, Mr. Enemabag Jones just wanted to know who got arrested, and you get all unhinged. Oh, and by the way I am a man and not a pussy and can take care of myself. And another thing, you’re playing with a loaded gun by taking your boyfriend to straight bars and holding his hand in them, Its easy to act all macho and make with the bravado when you’re on the internet, but when shit hits the fan and a bunch of homophobes confront you and your boyfriend for holding hands in their (straight) bar, you’d better have a backup plan. Good luck to ya.

      May 4, 2012 at 12:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • xulfi
      xulfi

      @Brandon: i totally agree withu man!

      May 4, 2012 at 2:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NYCGuy85
      NYCGuy85

      These segregationist gays are sickening. They probably lived in the days when gays and str8s were never friends, fast forward 40 years and shockingly gay people can have str8 friends who actually like their company! So lame that we’re even discussing this.

      May 4, 2012 at 3:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @NYCGuy85:

      Yeah, because gay people are the problem, white straight people are pure as the driven snow.

      May 4, 2012 at 10:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shofixti
      Shofixti

      Seems many of you are forgetting there’s a B in LGBT.
      A “man” and a “woman” kissing in a gay bar still may be every bit as queer as you are.

      It seems many people enjoy the flavour of the homo-bourgeois ghettoisation of gay nightlife, but it is discriminatory and you would never stand for it applied to you in the reverse.

      May 4, 2012 at 6:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Shofixti: I already pointed out that at least Never Mind doesn’t call itself an LGBT or GLBT bar; just a “Gay Bar”.

      But then biphobia and transphobia in the gay community? What’s new? Never mind that many members of the Gay Liberation Front were bisexual and/or trans. Never mind that “The Mother Of Pride” Brenda Howard was bisexual and a bisexual rights activist as well as a gay & lesbian rights activist. Never mind, never mind.

      Never mind. OK?

      May 5, 2012 at 8:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Queer Supremacist
      Queer Supremacist

      Kick them out. Turn the tables. Let them know what it is like to be discriminated against. God knows they deserve it.

      May 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jabaroo
      Jabaroo

      @Queer Supremacist: Why do they deserve it? What did this particular couple do to deserve it?

      May 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Good grief
      Good grief

      Jeez, way to make friends and treat our allies!

      Since now apparently feelings of discomfort justify this kind of heterophobic behavior, I guess henceforth it is okay for society to discriminate against gays, as long as it is based on feelings of discomfort with our sexual orientation.

      It just goes to show that gays are no better than anybody else. If we had been the majority, our collective treatment of straights would likely have been as horrible as theirs of us, I’m sorry to say. Being a victim does not make somebody a good person – history is full of examples of victims turning into murderous oppressors as soon as they gain power.

      May 5, 2012 at 4:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Queer Supremacist: FYI “queer” doesn’t mean gay. If you were that “supreme” you’d be aware of that.

      But then, maybe you’re actually some kind of trojan horse.

      May 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chuck
      Chuck

      So very stupid. The gay bar owner should be lynched.

      May 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @vireyda: Find a truly gay friendly mixed club. I appreciate your being reasonable and concerned rather than ranting about reverse discrimination, truly I do. But compromising the comfort of gay people in gay space for the sake of your ability to be there is unacceptable IMO.

      There is a long list of reasons that the reverse discrimination argument doesn’t work here, none of which you would truly understand, being straight. I understand that you just want to go out and be comfortable with your gay friends, and I appreciate that. However, your comfort comes at a very high price for some of the people for whom the space is intended.

      May 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Chuck: That’s a very unuseful suggestion Chuck.

      May 8, 2012 at 2:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      Never Mind is a gay man’s bar. If they want to ban men and women kissing each other then they have to ban women. All women.

      Because sometimes……
      http://www.butchwonders.com/uploads/2/4/8/6/2486969/9381130.png?391

      May 8, 2012 at 2:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      My whole thing on this issue is this:

      It is not about alienating allies. It is about keeping queer space queer. All day, every day, I deal with straight people. I have to gauge how ok any given person will be with me. I educate. I avoid the ignorant. I am bombarded with the heterosexual point of view via mass media. I walk in a world, in a society to which I have never and will never belong.

      When I go to a gay bar, I breathe a sigh of relief. I am around people who get it, people who understand. Is it really to much to ask to not be hit on by boorish men who ask to watch, or who think I just need a good dicking, or to have to answer ignorant questions, or be goggled at by people who treat us like a trip to an amusement park, or like animals in a zoo? Is it too much to ask to expect the women I hit on in a queer bar to be well queer? I don’t think these are unreasonable expectations when going to space allotted for a marginalized sect of society to which I belong. I really don’t.

      This isn’t discrimination, it is preservation. Active protection of much needed safe space.

      May 8, 2012 at 3:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Shannon1981: This is an issue is about two people kissing each other. It is not an issue about boorish men who ask to watch, or who think you just need a good dicking, or having to answer ignorant questions, or be goggled at by people who treat us like a trip to an amusement park, or like animals in a zoo.

      May 8, 2012 at 4:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @Geri: It is an issue about all the things I mentioned for this reason: the dominant majority in a space for its opposite oppressed minority. End of.

      May 8, 2012 at 4:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Shannon1981: Maybe you have personally had some negative experiences with some “straight” jerks in gay spaces but this is still just an issue about two people kissing each other whatever spin you try and put on it.

      If Never Mind’s no M/F kissing policy was to become widely adopted by other gay venues then we would all have to be ready to just start “Kissing Goodbye” to the concepts of Diversity and Equality, not to mention the whole concept of an “LGBT Community” altogether.

      I will say it again, because it’s the truth. If a gay man’s bar wants to ban men and women kissing each other then they have too ban women. All women. Not just straight and bisexual women, they have to ban gay women too. And transwomen as well of course.

      And I don’t feel they should really fly the Rainbow Flag outside either because it was originally designed to reflect the diversity of the GLBT community.

      I wonder what the guy who designed the flag would feel about it? Gilbert Baker talks about the GLBT community. Not the gay community or the gay and lesbian community. The GLBT community.http://metroweekly.com/feature/?ak=3031

      I think it would make him feel sad.

      May 8, 2012 at 7:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @Geri: Why would they ban women? I know I’d never kiss a man, in a gay bar or anywhere else.

      And the rainbow flag is the GAY flag. Bi people have their own flag, as do trans people, look it up.

      What you are saying makes no sense to me at all.

      May 8, 2012 at 7:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @Shannon1981: And I am far from the only one who has had bad experiences with straight people in gay spaces. Furthermore, that is besides the point.IF straight people take over gay bars, it defeats the purpose of a gay bar.

      As for your comments upthread about perhaps there being bi folks who are in there, great, but they should be sensitive enough not to flaunt their passing privilege in space for those who do not have it. Sorry, none of your arguments hold any water to me.

      May 8, 2012 at 8:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      Last comment for @Geri:

      May 8, 2012 at 8:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Shannon1981: “Why would they ban women? I know I’d never kiss a man, in a gay bar or anywhere else.”

      OK. That’s you. So you’re 100% homosexual and in every way. Most queer women aren’t. And very few straight women are so uptight heterosexual that they would never kiss another woman either. In fact I’m not sure I’ve ever met one who was. Oh yes, I think I did once. I thought she was probably some sort of closet case.

      Seriously if you dislike men so much that you’d never even kiss one of them why would you want to go to a bar full of men?

      “And the rainbow flag is the GAY flag. Bi people have their own flag, as do trans people, look it up.”

      I have looked it up.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_flag_%28LGBT_movement%29
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilbert_Baker_%28artist%29

      “What you are saying makes no sense to me at all.”

      Well it will probably make sense to someone else.

      May 8, 2012 at 10:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kadigido
      kadigido

      ah, well, what goes around comes around aint!

      May 9, 2012 at 8:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @Geri: Who said anything about disliking men? I just don’t want to kiss them. I like them great as platonic friends.

      This is the bi flag
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_pride_flag

      trans
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_Pride_flag

      As for the original article re: the creator of that flag- I am all for LGBT unity, but let’s not rewrite history here. There was no “LGBT” until the 90’s. Why do you think there are STILL, to this day, references to “gay and lesbian” community? Because until the activists realized that there was strength in numbers and turned us from “gay community” or “gay and lesbian community” into “LGBT community” there WAS no lgbt. You cannot rewrite the way things went to suit your own ends. And surely the man who created this flag is more than well aware of that. Of course, these days, anything other than the alphabet soup is politically incorrect in reference, so nobody dares. And this is from someone who actually LOVES the LGBT concept.

      May 14, 2012 at 6:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Shannon1981: Thanks, I’m already aware of the Bi Pride & Trans Pride flags and understand their symbolism.

      To me the Rainbow flag is the LGBT flag. It symbolizes the diversity of queer people. I don’t expect to see it flying outside a bar which I’m allowed to enter but in which I am only at liberty to kiss one sex and not the other.

      Bisexuality and transgenderism were not invented in the 1990s you know. The Gay Liberation movement of the late and 60s early 70s regarded “gay” as an all-inclusive term. There were always bisexual and trans people involved. There were bisexual men involved in the homophile movement of the 1950s and 60s and bisexual women in the Daughters of Bilitis. The idea that only homosexual women are lesbians and bisexual women are not lesbians didn’t really come into being until the 1970s. And as I already mentioned in a post above “The Mother Of Pride” Brenda Howard was bisexual and a bisexual rights activist as well as a gay & lesbian rights activist. To the homophobes if you love the same sex you are a queer regardless of whether you love the other sex as well or not. We’re all dykes, fags and queers here.

      However straight men sometimes kiss each other, even in uptight homophobic Anglo-Saxon heritage type countries and societies, so I don’t see that it makes a lesbian any less of a lesbian if she kisses a man. Kissing doesn’t have to be sexual and it often isn’t. If you like men as friends but don’t want to kiss them ever that’s fine, but I don’t see how you can expect other lesbians, let alone queer women in general, to feel the same way about it.

      May 15, 2012 at 5:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • coolcubes13
      coolcubes13

      Yknow, just because it’s a man and a woman kissing, doesn’t mean it’s a “straight couple.” I mean where do people who aren’t on the poles of the Kinsey scale go? To a Fluid bar? that’s ridiculous, live and let live, why do people like to complicate things with their phoney self righteousness?

      Sep 7, 2012 at 3:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • coolcubes13
      coolcubes13

      not passing has just as much privelege as passing. passing privilege is such a bs phrase. what if i said don’t flaunt the privilege of being out there, no questions asked, with people sure of your sexuality and feeling welcomed by SOME group for being you? what are you passing for? Something you’re not. You have to come out of the closet all the time. you get shit for being straight from the gay community though you’re not straight.

      Sep 7, 2012 at 3:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • coolcubes13
      coolcubes13

      not passing has just as much privelege as passing. passing privilege is such a bs phrase. what if i said don’t flaunt the privilege of being out there, no questions asked, with people sure of your sexuality and feeling welcomed by SOME group for being you? what are you passing for *if you’re bi*? Something you’re not. You have to come out of the closet all the time. you get shit for being straight from the gay community though you’re not straight.

      Full story here: http://www.queerty.com/striaght-couple-kicked-out-of-copenhagen-gay-bar-for-kissing-20120502/#ixzz25la6zkiT

      Sep 7, 2012 at 3:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • coolcubes13
      coolcubes13

      @Shannon1981: hahaha how is “queer” ONLY lesbians and gay men? i think im done

      Sep 7, 2012 at 3:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • spooky24
      spooky24

      I think some of you are just too young to know what you are talking about. Also, your worldly experience consist of what you see through a computer screen.

      I ask you? Have any you ever been to a Communist country? Have you ever been to the Russian Federation-including the Ukraine? Have you ever been to Southeast Asia? Have you ever been to an Islamic country? There are over 100 million Buddhist in China alone.

      Once you have been to these areas of the world(in person not google)then perhaps you can make judgments about how everyone else should live and act in public.

      There are so many human beings in Bangkok that it makes New York look like a deserted beach. All these people get along with each other because they know how to act responsibly and respect a few rules about public behavior. There are probably a thousand gay bars in Bangkok however they know the limits of their behavior and they are not going to draw attention to themselves by kicking out individuals that are different from them. They are allowed to exist at an underground capacity and they thrive-everyone is happy with that-and everybody respects the limitations.

      The United States is a Mecca of progress and liberalism compared to the other 3 Billion or so people who live in the rest of the world.

      Remember:

      No man is an island entirely of himself

      Nov 3, 2014 at 10:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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