You may want to consider buying stock in Starbucks because we have a feeling it’s about to take off.
Queerty recently conducted a survey where we looked at the correlation between how often our readers got laid and how many pumpkin spice lattes they consumed each month and the results will likely disappoint you.
Related: Starbucks CEO: If You Don’t Like Our Support For Marriage Equality “Buy Shares In Another Company”
Approximately 3,000 Queerty readers took our survey. Of that number, 2,471 readers (84 percent) reported that they do not drink pumpkin space lattes, compared to 488 (16 percent) who said that they do. 37 (1 percent) chose not to answer the question.
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So how exactly does that bode for your sex life? According to our figures, not so great.
1,425 readers (48 percent) reported to have had sex zero to two times in the last month. Of that 48 percent, 1,353 (95 percent) also reported to have consumed a total of zero to two pumpkin spice lattes in the last 30 days.
Related: Anti-Gay Pastor Is Terrified Of Drinking Semen, Especially In Starbucks Lattes
Oddly, however, when asked how likely they would be to have sex with someone who dislikes pumpkin spice lattes, 1,630 Queerty readers (56 percent) said they would be more likely to sleep with that person, compared to 1,271 (44 percent) who said that they would be less likely.
Clearly, there’s a discrepancy between people’s perceived feelings towards the sexiness of pumpkin spice lattes and the actual reality.
So what’s the takeaway from all this? Well, unfortunately, it’s not great for the vast majority of you Queerty readers who don’t drink pumpkin spice lattes. Your distain towards the seasonal delight may be saving you calories, but it’s costing you sex partners.
Related: Queerty Applauds Starbucks For Giving NOM A Very Respectful Bitch-Slap
Justin John Ronald Walker
Oh for the love of sanity, get over it
Kev Stewart
What a load of wank!
Wilson W Wong
Bullshit
J.r. Graff
“Study Finds That Those Obsessed With All-things Pumpkin Are Gigantic Overrated As*holes.”
Bradley Tabor
Perhaps. But only with other people who drink pumpkin spice lattes. And I’m glad they are keeping to themselves.
Chris Mommaerts
Lol I do
BigG
I add the syrup to my Americanos and it is so delicious, way better than the lattes and a lot stronger. So that explains why I’ve been such a hoe this past month
JayMew
who knows if I like pumpkin spice lattes or not
Michael Knapp
And I just bought one ð???
Gus Anderson
Maybe because they have lower standards.
Timothy Warner
I would say so.
Dennis Richards
More often than what?
Janna Burgart
When in the North get your Pumpkin Latte at the Soup Wallah in Fort St James! 😉
Chuck Cardillo
Who comes up with these stupid surveys? What an utter waste of time and $$$$. To the idiots who participated, get a life.
Neil Ballantyne
I will go without both lol
Blackceo
So of course I absolutely am going to trump this survey because I took part and was one of the ones who purchased multiple PSL’s in the last 30 days and have sex 4-5 times a week. So yay for me!!!!
Lester Louie
Oh please. Yeah, right
Georgiann Golden
I think I’ll head out to get me one(or 2)
Linda Robinson
You wish. ð???ð???ð???
Cameron Staff
Joey Roo ð???
Robert Barber
Not if they ordered THAT on a date with me.But we wouldnt have got to the date point
Robert Barber
Pumpkins are great to watch festering on the porch and collapsing after carving.And Pie…thats it
moldisdelicious
does everything have to be about sex? geezus. this whole idea about a gay man whole worth being about sex is ridiculous. bad enough, it’s a stereotype to begin with.
John Malin
Perhaps, but hopefully with willing partners! Otherwise your rap sheet may say you raped Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater!
Kirk Montrealer
Some guys sperm actually tastes like PUMPKIN SPICE !!!!
Kolby Bayless
Haley Wilson lol
Nat Jones
Try the survey in Europe… Youre more likey to be ridiculed snd abused for drinking such a thing… And quite rightly so. – wanna get laid? Flat white, macciato or Americano… All this flsvoured stuff is for wannabes ð???ð???ð???
rand503
@Blackceo: And I bought four this month, and I’m still celebrate. Boo!
Jesse Erickson
what about other pumpkin things? like pie, bars or bread?
DarkZephyr
Pumpkin Spice Lattes sound awful. I don’t know where I’ve been though because the first time I heard of them was when I binge watched Scream Queens last night on Hulu.
Jim Beshear
LOL
Bradley Warmouth
Michael Nouchi
Sébastien Goulet 🙂
Stephen Adams
If they can show cause and effect, they have a fortune in their hands.
Anthony Vincent
.. yawn, next.
Sweetie Pie
I get laid just by drinking espresso doppio macchiato
Those flavoured coffees are for sissies and little fags
GayEGO
That’s because the farts smell better! :>)
Julian Hudson
Mauri London ngl this isn’t true
Cj Gravois
Hayden Lesley
CWM85
Sex. The end all and be all of life according to Queerty… -eye roll. How about a survey of education of its readers. Many sound like completely brain dead idiots…