While we're a little bit rock, a reader named Alan's a little country. ow do we know? Well, he just sent us this clip of country star Faith Hill getting a little hot under the collar after losing the Country Music Award's Female Vocal Artist of the Year to Carrie Underwood.
Watch as Hill presumptuously opens her arms to embrace the applause and loses her shit when she realizes her mistake. We can't really blame her, though. We may prefer rock, but we've been known to get down to some Faith. (Never have we boogied to Underwood. She stole American Idol from Bo Bice, a sin for which she shall never be forgiven.)
Watch Aiken totally fag out when Sawyer asks him about his sexuality. Not only that, but he admits getting caught up in the Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie battle over Brad Pitt. We'll give you one guess why.
Happy Friday, by the way.
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Last time we checked in on former American Idol contestant Clay Aiken, we gabbed about his appropriate appointment to the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities. With the upcoming release of his new album, A Thousand Different Ways, Aiken's back in the news - if you can call it that.
Starting on his publicity tour - which, may we say, sounds more frightful than a tour of Auschwitz - he pays a visit to People Magazine, speaking out on a variety of topics, including anxiety attacks and paxil. That's all well and good, but obviously we're more interested in his lackluster response to those tenacious gay rumors.
When asked by People, he says:
What do you say (to that question)? … It's like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house, and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, 'Did you do this?' Well, it didn't matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. … People are going to believe what they want.
For all those people who virulently defend Mr. Aiken's sexuality, please note the skirting around the issue.
Another notable topic is his dream of being a father. He says:
I want to be a father so badly. I want (kids) one day. Not now. … I would love to adopt. There's an orphanage not too far from my house, and I've been up before with church. I always thought, 'What happens to those kids who have the potential to go to college but just can't afford it?' I've been thinking a lot lately about finding a way to pay for one of those kids to go to college.
If he's worried about money, he could take a page from Lance Bass' Book.
Related: "Clay Aiken: Mentally Retarded Hero
We've just gotten word that former American Idol and would-be gay icon Clay Aiken will soon be part of the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities.
There's really too much in there - once we got going, we'd never stop. Not coincidentally, Aiken has a new album coming out: A Thousand Different Ways.
What's that? A thousand different ways he allows himself to be the butt of a joke? Not here. Not now.
The picture's enough for us.
• While Queen Elizabeth's guards may be stiff and formal in public, it's a different story when they're getting ready for work. A very different story. [The Sun]
• She didn't even win American Idol, but runner-up Katharine McPhee has already adopted a diva attitude. [Lowdown]
• Where, oh, where, has Jessica Simpson's nose gone? With kid sis Ashlee getting so much attention after donning a new schnoz, the visual evidence suggests Jessica got jealous. [PITNB]
• Rob and Jordan dissect exactly what People's Hottest Bachelors might all have in common. [PEN15 Club]
Re-meet Michael Sandecki. He's the American Idol contestant, ousted long ago, who will forever be compared to Clay Aiken. During last night's finale, Michael was welcomed to perform one last song on stage: Elton John's "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me."
And that's when he lost his shit because, as it turns out, Clay Aiken did show up at American Idol. And performed. With Michael Sandecki. And Michael Sandecki lost his shit — as anyone who'd be interested in gay webcam sex with Clay might.
After the jump, the full clip of Clay's performance*.
(Updated with a working – that is, not removed by YouTube – version as of June 1.)
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A forgettable brunette and a warbling, socially inept, prematurely aging lad? American Idol has nothing but bored us this season, which is why we tuned out even before Mandesa and Paris Bennett got the boot. But the latest news from inside the Idol camp – regarding Clay Aiken and his gay sex scandal – have our ears turned up once again.
As per a FOX/American Idol directive this afternoon, entertainment journalists covering the AI finale are being instructed that any attempt to question or solicit comment from Clay Aiken regarding his recent scandal will result in their being barred from the finale. …
The interesting thing is that the directive says IF Clay appears, so it seems like his appearance may still be in question. Clay's name still has yet to appear on any call sheets or rehearsal information at the production office or Kodak.
We're sure he'd love to show up, if only he could tear himself away from AIM Video chat.
'American Idol' to Journos: When It Comes To Clay Aiken, Don't Ask, Don't Tell [Jossip]
Complain as everyone may, Chris' departure from American Idol is the best thing that could have happened to the show. With him gone, the fight to see who will win is interesting.
We would have respected Chris more if he had reacted with anything other than the "I'm a little shocked" routine. Why not freak out? Why not throw your arms in the air and stomp around? He was obviously convinced he had it in the bag, "a little shocked" is not enough! He could have given himself a lot of street cred had he stomped around and acted pissed. But he was voted off for the same reason he just stood there when hearing the bad news: he was boring, and it carried through right down to his final day. The world is in an uproar, of course. We will miss his big bubble butt those lovely puppy-dog eyes blinking blinking blinking away.
It's the most popular show in the US, and the finals are like the Gay Super Bowl. American Idol was the topic of this past weekend's parties–ironic, as we could have been at Coachella, where there was real music. But who cares about Depeche Mode's new album when you can debate the demise of Kellie Pickler?
Our rundown on the pros and cons of each contestant:
• Elliott Yamin: Very strong, but starting to show wear and tear in the vocals. And that vibrato he's got is about to vibrate his voice box right out of his throat.
Why he won't win: The same reason Mandisa got the boot: he doesn't look the part. People have this fantasy that Mandisa was kicked to the curb because she sang a Christian rock song, where she pledged allegiance to God and seemingly spurned the gays. But she didn't lose many gay votes, because most gay people aren't voting at all anymore. Gays are bored with Idol. Gays watch, but they don't dial in the multiple votes like they used to. This is explains why Bucky Covington lasted as long as he did.
The same week Mandisa praised the powers of her anti-gay God, she shunned her usually-flattering drapey clothes and came out in form-fitting jeans. America may forgive a bigot, but they won't forgive a woman with a severe weight problem. That night we picked up the phone for the first time this season and voted for Mandisa repeatedly because she deserved to stay in, but we knew she was doomed. She was out before she sang her first note. America very prejudiced against obesity, much more than they care about defeinding gay honor.
Which brings us back to Ellliot, who is the best singer–close your eyes, and listen. Beautiful, sophisticated, his control of his voice is like the finest ballet. He understands how to perform a song, not scream it. In Idolville, that's rare. Then open your eyes, and confront the reality that he looks like Alf. He's in the Final 3, then he's out. Sorry.
• Taylor Hicks: Soulful, interesting voice. Original. Fun. And when he concentrates on singing, he really connects with the music. For all his weirdness, you know that's really him.
Why he won't win: Because when he sings he looks like he has Tourette's Syndrome. Although he could be the upset, judging by the love from the GrayCharles website.
(…keep reading:)
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We've been waiting since Idol's auditions in North Carolina to catch another glimpse of the Paris Bennett we love so much: the smooth, throaty voice singing Billie Holliday like Paris wrote the song herself. Beautiful. Yet week after week, she covered pop song forgetfulness in the hopes of being cool, and we died a little inside each time.
Finally, in Week 6 of the American Idol finals, our fav-fav-favorite is back–singing jazz standard "Foolish Things," simultaneously melting our hearts and giving us chills. Where has she been? No matter, we're so glad she's back.
(click "more" to keep reading)
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• American Idol pressuring contestants to stay in the closet. America really needs to get a collective dose of gaydar, so people can just figure these things out on their own and get over it. How did people not know about The Gayken? [Temenos]
• Massachusetts prison officer is in trouble after showing Brokeback Mountain to inmates. Apparently the sex scenes gave the prisoners too many ideas. [BBC]
• Once Marc Jacobs starts a trend, everyone starts to play along: New York superstar weatherman Sam Champion is in love with a rent boy. Known far and wide beyond just the New York metro area, Champion made hearts flutter not only for his nightly weather forecasts, but also his fabled cameo appearances at Fire Island summer parties. We are all devastated Champion is off the market. [Jossip]
• Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders–a.k.a. Patsy and Edina from Absolutely Fabulous–are coming back to TV. All hail the queens! [Zap2It]
• Speaking of our favorite women on TV: Rue McClanahan fights age with sex. Blanche Deveraux lives! [AP]
Did the gays end Mandisa's American Idol journey? The blogosphere has been abuzz with speculation for the last few days, based on her statement that her personal American Idol is ex-gay author Beth Moore. We personally think her elimination had less to do with the gays, and more to do with her dreadful rendition of "Any Man of Mine." She was singing sharp the entire time, and when Kellie Pickler turns out a better performance than you, it's definitely time to say goodbye.
But just for you skeptics out there, Mandisa has cleared the air in an interview with The Advocate. She says she doesn't judge the gays, but she wouldn't sing at a gay event because she doesn't agree with the homosexual lifestyle. Oh and those "God is big enough to overcome any lifestyle" comments? That was apparently about her struggle with being fat, though we have to wonder what kind of lifestyle she meant when she so strongly identifies with the ex-gay movement.
Mandisa breaks her silence [The Advocate]
Backstage Buzz: Mandisa's Anti-Gay Affiliation May Have Done Her In [TMZ]
During an interview on Howard Stern's Sirius radio program, Simon Colwell predicted the three finalists for this season of American Idol:
"Let me tell you who's gonna be in the finals," Cowell said. "The bald-headed kid (Chris Daughtry) and the guy with gray hair (Taylor Hicks)."
A few minutes later, he added, "I think the top three will be the two I mentioned and Kellie Pickler."
While Simon is trying to portray himself as the all-knowing soothsayer of music competitions, we presume he can read the weekly reports on how many votes are cast for each contestant. So he would know who has been in the lead so far. It's not that fancy a prediction.
Although when we TiVo Idol, we do fast-forward through comments by "Uhhhhhh, it was alright for me" Randy Jackson and "Your light shines from within" Paula Abdul, and only watch Simon's snappy critiques–unless Paula is drunk/high, in which case we watch her comments over and over. Cracked-out Paula is the best. But Simon's opinions aren't inherently any more accurate than the other judges: remember, in the preliminary audition stages, he gave "no" votes to both Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks. Suddenly, he's changing his tune?…
• A West Virginia police chief allegedly blocked life-saving measures for Claude Green, pictured, because Green was gay. Unbelievable. [SF Chronicle]
• Ryan Seacrest undresses a 17-year-old boy. With his eyes. [Aanthems]
• A celebrity comes out of the closet. On Pinoy Big Brother. [The Manila Bulletin]
• The Da Vinci Code and Load will be released on the same day!. [The Book Standard]
• Myspace the movie. Brilliant. [You Tube]
This season of American Idol is amazing, but not because of the singers. The singers are good though they’d better watch out because Abdul is slowly stealing their spotlight. We’re convinced that Abdul is back to popping the pills. Either she had a Botox session go amazingly wrong or the girl has had a few recent visits from the pill fairy. We went crazy with our Tivo on Tuesday looping back and forward watching Abdul’s drug induced responses. Abdul continuously referred to the singers’ performances as “out of this world.” Secretly, we think she was referring to her state of consciousness, or lack thereof. The combination of the fidgety turret syndrome-like head movements, coupled with the bad drag queen hair and the scary pill-popping smile made it perfectly clear.
Pill popping Abdul aside, we still have to predict who will win this season. Don’t hate us for doing this, but we’re predicting Katherine McPhee will take it all. She’s cute, girl can sang and after dropping the Streisand, I’m sure she has the gays on her side. We also like her because Abdul loves her and her pill poppy behavior really shows itself when McPhee is on stage. Simon put it best:
McPhee, the final contestant to take the stage, earned Cowell's highest praise of the night, with her performance of Barbra Streisand's "Since I Fell for You. "There were four very, very good vocalists tonight," Cowell said. "And you were the best."
Our predictions aside, somebody stage an intervention with Abdul, but not until the season is over.
Ladies First on "American Idol [E! Online]
American Idol [Official Site]
