So, it's the day after Thanksgiving and your staring at your family as they try to decide what to do. You suggest going to see Milk and they agree. Awesome! After the show, they look at you and go, "I didn't know this ever happened! I want to know more about this homosexuality thing!"

What do you do then?

Queerty's suggestion? Run, don't walk to the nearest video store and pick up a copy of The Wedding Banquet.

It's the perfect companion piece to Milk. Where Harvey Milk's story is written on the public stage, the characters in The Wedding Banquet, a gay couple named Wai-Tung Gao (Winston Chao) and Simon (Mitchell Lichtenstein) live private lives. Both feature happy, successful gay people fighting for acceptance, but while Harvey's fighting at City Hall, Wai-Tung and Simon are winning the battle around the kitchen table.

Directed by a pre-Brokeback Ang Lee, the film's first half is a comedy, with Wai-Tung and Simon living together in adorable homo bliss, while Wai-Tung fends off his parents advances to get married by making impossible demands of the dating service they've hired for him. To appease his parents, he decides to have a marriage of convenience with one of his tenants, an artist named Wei-Wei.

And then the parents show up.

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There's really only one word for this: stupid. Janice Scott-Blanton, the esteemed authoress of My Husband is on the Down Low and I Know About It, has filed a $250 million lawsuit against the makers of perhaps more esteemed gay movie, Brokeback Mountain.

It seems Scott-Blanton was having a sit-down, watching a little BM when she noticed some "eerie" similiarities between the Academy Award-winning film and her based on a true story book. She alleges there are more the 50. Of a few, BlackNews reports:

[A] stark similarity is exhibited after James' and Annette's ninth wedding anniversary, when Annette from Scott-Blanton's novel confronted James regarding his homosexual activity. James told her that he had purposely written a confession in his journal because he knew she had been secretly reading it; he did not know of any other way to tell her about his secret. This scene transpires in a kitchen setting. After Thanksgiving dinner, in the movie Brokeback Mountain, Alma confronts Ennis (her husband) regarding his homosexual activity. Alma told Ennis she had purposely written a note and put it on the end of his fishing line for him to find. This scene also transpires in a kitchen setting.

Shame on you, Brokeback Mountain makers! You had the ingenuity to adapt a movie from a 2005 book, travel back in time to 1997, get Annie Proulx to publish Brokeback Mountain in The New Yorker to cover your tracks, but you didn't think to change the scene setting? You should pay $500 million!

Although, you can't really blame Ang Lee and the rest for wanting to steak Scott-Blanton's page turner. Even the first few lines scream, "Take me as your own!":

The old cliche goes, "If only I'd known then what I know now". The cliche has been a part of my life for some time now. It has been like a bricks that's held me down for over ten years.

Like a ton of bricks, she says! Really grabs you, doesn't it?

(PS: Scott-Blanton also wrote Succulent Sex, which some believe was later adapted in The Passion of the Christ.)

Alright, America, it's time to move on. This has officially gone too far.

Labelling Brokeback Mountain as the "Great Gay Movie" of our time is perhaps a bit short-sighted, in respect to the huge quantity of queer cinema out there.

In an effort to wean society off Brokeback, we'd like to make some other recommendations, and celebrate the brilliant gay films that were hitting the silver screen long before Jack and Ennis were hitting it in a tent. Plan a film festival party, invite over some of your favorite gays, and perhaps pick one of these stellar recommendations from our personal libraries:

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This is too good, we have to break our "no more Brokeback" rule: Randy Quaid, who played the part of "Joe Agguire" in Brokeback Mountain, is suing the film's producers for $10 million for fraud and misrepresentation, claiming he's not getting a fair share of its profits.

According to Quaid, when he met with Ang Lee about the film, Lee said the film was extremely low-budget and they couldn't "pay anything." Brokeback Mountain, of course, has already grossed $160 million in theaters.

The suit claims the producers "were engaged in a 'movie laundering' scheme designed to obtain the services of talent such as Randy Quaid on economically unfavorable art film terms."

(Keep reading after the jump:)

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Brokeback director Ang Lee has set the record, er, straight. He will NOT be directing Charlize Theron and Kate Moss as gay lovers in the Dusty Springfield biopic. Why? We have no idea because that sounds sooooo hot.

The rumor that the Oscar-nominated director of Brokeback Mountain would tackle another tale of closeted gay love, supposedly with Charlize Theron as the singer of such hits as Son of a Preacher Man and Kate Moss as her first lover, ran wild on the Web last week.

"It came from a couple bites on the Internet that collided," says James Schamus, Brokeback producer and longtime Lee collaborator. "It showed up on one of these gossip sites, and Ang and I were like, 'Huh? What?' I'm a Dusty Springfield fan but it's all completely fabricated."

Wait. Are they saying the gossipy blogosphere sometimes is filled with wild inaccuracies and unsubstantiated rumors? Maybe other sites, but certainly not us.

Lee Quashes ‘Dusty’ Rumors [USA Today]

Everyone’s favorite coke snorting supermodel, Kate Moss is about to team with They Gays’ favorite director, Ang Lee, for his next film, a biopic of Dusty Springfield. Springfield will be played by Charlize Theron who is no stranger to playing lesbians, and Moss will play her slutty, heartbreaking lover. Not much of a stretch for her big screen debut.

"There'll probably be sexual scenes but as Ang is behind the camera they will be very tastefully done. Kate's character breaks Dusty's heart and sparks off the chain of tumultuous relationships that dogged her throughout her life."

The dykes will definitely be lining up for this one on opening day (its been awhile since Bound) like all of us queens did for Ang’s other little film.

As for Moss, if her acting ends up being just as good as her ability to suck up blow using a $100 dollar bill, then she might have a new career to focus on once the modeling world is done with her. Which is right about now.

Kate Moss in lesbian role [Pink News]

The Oscars are going to be one big Brokeback party: Heath, Jake, Michelle, Ang have all been nominated. The film also got a best picture nod and leads the pack with 8 total nominations. So whether you loved it or not, all this Brokeback talk is sticking around a bit longer.

'Brokeback Mountain' Gets 8 Oscar Nods [Yahoo]
Full List of Nominations [Yahoo]

• A Paula Abdul dating show sounds like the perfect televised train wreck we've been waiting for. If there is a God, her dating pool will be filled exclusively with American Idol rejects. [Zap2it]

• The DGA hearts Ang Lee. We'll soon find out how much the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sceinces loves Lee and Brobeback. Oscar noms are out tomorrow. [BBC]

• China does not heart Brokeback Mountain. [BBC]

• A gay Colombian man, currently in Orlando, wants the U.S. to grant him political asylum because of increased homophobia in his native country. But is landing yourself in a state run by George Bush's bro really a step in the right direction? [Miami Herald]

• Guy Ritchie will be best man at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding. We would be super-happy fags if Madonna somehow ends up godmother to the most beautiful baby in the world. [Digital Spy]

We conclude our wrap-up of the year that was just So Gay! We’ve reveled in the queerest coming out stories, blogs, music, and everything else that made 2005 a big fat homo. Now it’s time for the crowning of the ultimate queen: the Gayest Gay of the year!

5. Marc Cherry. The man responsible for giving birth to those fabulous bitches Bree, Lynette, Gabrielle, Edie, and Susan. This year, thanks to Cherry, we were given regular weekly doses of Desperate Housewives, one of the campiest shows since that other Marcia Cross series, Melrose Place. We love him for his both his bitchiness and queeniness.

4. Jeff Gannon. A whore who slept with closet case politicians and then magically landed himself in the White House Press room. If you ask us, that’s pretty gay.

3. Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen’s career just keeps getting bigger and bigger. She’s found her biggest mainstream success by putting on her dancing shoes for her daytime talk show. Also, Her relationship with fellow small screen lezzie Portia De Rossi has kept her never dull love life in the public eye.

2. Ang Lee. Yes we know he’s straight. Still we had no choice but to include the man who directed Brokeback Mountain, the gay movie of the decade. Besides, you can’t get any gayer than directing love scenes between two hot sweaty twenty-something studs. Unless of course it’s a Jet Set video.

The biggest gay of the year after the jump!

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Yesterday we brought you the gayest music of the past year. This time we answer the question "What straights were So Gay in 2005?" Here are our picks. We’re going to refrain from making any Kenny Chesney jokes. Oops, too late!

5. Martha Stewart. The persnickety domestic goddess we all secretly want to be more like had a rollercoaster year. After being locked up with a bunch of female prisoners (we just know she had a bitch of her own behind bars), she busted out bigger than ever. Sure her short-lived version of The Apprentice had a lame catchphrase, but we still watched every week.

4. Sharon Stone. Out magazine slapped her on its list of the 100 most noteworthy gay and straight allies for the year. But it wasn’t her short dykey ‘do that got her on that list or ours. It's her love for The Gays. She’s been a strong supporter of both gay rights and AIDS research as the Chair of amfAR. Next up for Ms. Stone: reprising her role as bi femme fatale in Basic Instinct 2. We can’t wait.

3. Gavin Newsom. We know that it was last year that San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed gays to marry in his city, but he makes our 2005 list because he continues to be an incredibly outspoken proponent of gay rights. Just this month he pulled out as honorary co-chairman of a benefit for a Tennesse congressman who voted in favor of a ban on same-sex marriage. Take that right wingers.

2. Kanye West. This year superstar Kanye West had the balls to stand up against homophobic lyrics in hip hop. Not something that happens often (if at all) in the music world, where artists like Eminem take cheap shots at the gay community as often as they can. Not only did he not lose any cred, he gained a hell of a lot more respect from everyone, mostly from us gays.

Our number one het for 2005 after the jump.

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• HX has a shopping guide for the "12 Gays of Christmas." Squeeze your friends into one of these stereotypes and all your holiday shopping is done.

• Or you can get everyone on your list the new Lady Bunny DVD. Rated X for Xtra-retarded. View the trailer here.

• Ang Lee tells Gay.com that Brokeback Mountain “is a gay love story.” Now if only someone would tell Jakey.

• George Michael is planning on getting married in England, but not the “whole veil and gown thing.” He’ll leave that to Elton.

• The Log Cabin Republicans want an investigation of a drag show at the University of Missouri because it “made fun of heterosexuals and featured simulated sex acts.” And some of you wonder why we make fun of those Log Cabin sissies.