In 2006, Brad Pitt told Esquire that "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able", but according to this puff piece interview, the couple will now get married when their kids ask them to. A few caveat's here: Brad Pitt not only donated $100,000 to the No on 8 Campaign, he's wearing a gay porn star's mustache to show solidarity with the gay community. Also, it's Angelina Jolie, talking to the Italian version of Vanity Fair, not Pitt , who said that they will marry when the kids start asking about it. So, it's entirely possible that Jolie has been unaware up to this point that the reason she's not Mrs. Brad Pitt is because of the gays.

Of course we all know the real reason Brad and Angie aren't married is that Jennifer Aniston still has another six years left on her post-nuptial "Let's have a tabloid fight to drum up publicity every time I have a new project out" contract. Whoops, did we say that out loud?

So, remember those rumors that mega-star actor Will Smith employed male hookers to get his gay rocks off?

Well, some people Hollywood muckraker Ian Halperin got the low down from the "discreet" madame. Here's his short, sweet explanation: I met “Renata” when I posed undercover as a gay actor in Hollywood last year. She came up to me at a Starbucks and tried to recruit me to work for her." That's how we meet all our sources, too.

Meanwhile, Halperin names more names, and none of them are very surprising, ie: Charlie Sheen and Jack Nicholson, who apparently likes it "lewd."

Angelina Jolie also allegedly called in for "hot female escorts with tattoos."

Brad Pitt's family photos are finally ready for public consumption…

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People magazine today releases its $15 million pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's new twins.

They're precious, they're cute, they're the new Shiloh. Bow down and grovel, pesky pedestrians.

The birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s new twins — son Knox Leon and daughter Vivienne Marcheline — is not just the second coming of Jesus, but also the culmination of nine months (longer, if you count the speculation period) of a gossip industry frenzy.

Everybody had an opinion. Everybody was a spectator. And everybody wanted in.

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Wow! Congratulations to Barack and Michelle Obama!

The Democratic power couple have finally made it now that tab-rag Us Weekly gave them their coveted cover, right next to Angelina's pregnant sex stories and an extensive report on Mrs. Hulk Hogan romance with a man half her age. 'Tis a proud moment in American politics - and a sure fire way to grab some new lady voters!

Now, who wants to place bets on when a black couple - or black person! - next grace the weekly's cover?

Former Baywatch actor Jaason "Double-A" Simmons (center) came out of the closet this week. Via Same Same:

[Simmons] has ended years of speculation in the hope of raising awareness of African adoption.

Simmons has appeared in Australian New Idea magazine with his boyfriend of eight months, Irish actor John O’Callaghan, and his adopted six year-old Ugandon son saying that they want to get married.

The couple plan to wed in Canada as same-sex unions are not legally recognized in California where they both live.

Well done, Simmons! And we totally support your mission. We warn you, however, Madonna and Angelina are very territorial, so you may want to sleep with one eye open.

Actress, activist and child collector Angelina Jolie had a wee bit of fun with son Maddox this week:

After treating him to a matinée of The Spiderwick Chronicles at Hollywood's ArcLight theater, they hit the gift shop.

Six-year-old Maddox picked out a pack of gum labeled "I [Heart] My Penis."

"[Angelina] laughed and bought it," a witness told Us.

The American Family Association would not approve of such genital shenanigans.

Angelina Jolie is pregnant with not one, but two of Brad Pitt's babies.

Lil' Zahara Jolie Pitt stepped out - or carried out - with her mama Angelina yesterday. And, as you can see, little Ms. Z's got some pointed opinions on pesky paparazzi.

• Larry Craig's family has dubious past, including statutory rape charges.

• Footballer Graeme Le Saux isn't gay, but he knows the pain of anti-gay jibes.

• Giorgio Armani on "power dressing":

I think power dressing today is about self-expression rather than uniformity or conformity. It is about having the confidence to express your own identity. So there has been a 180-degree turnaround from the 1980s. I think that is a very positive change.

This from the man who hasn't changed his black t-shirt in 5000 years?

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In other George Michael-related news (because he, more than anyone, deserves two stories in one day) - the 44-year old queer will play former Mr. Angelina Jolie Jonny Lee Miller's guardian angel in a new ABC drama, Eli Stone.

No word on whether Michael's angel will be made of dust…

Brad Pitt's prick be magic. The superstar's equally stellar lady, Angelina Jolie, told French mag, Public she's quit clit for Pitt: "I’ve never hidden my bisexuality. But since I’ve been with Brad, there’s no longer a place for that or S&M in my life." Someone better tell Jolie's former lesbian lover, Jenny Shimizu. The model and actress once told The Sun,

There has never been an ending to her and I. I think there never will be. I think we will continue to have a deep relationship. It really does go beyond just the sex.

Poor Shimizu may want to think again.

So, does Pitt worry Jolie will stray? She did, after all, break up his marriage to Jennifer Aniston. Jolie swears he's got "blind faith" she'll remain faithful, “He lets me talk to whomever I want." The stunning actress, who once had a fling with lesbian model also tells Public that she'll be Pitt's as long as he "stays sexy," which shouldn't be that hard for the legendary leading man.