There was a time when Carson Kressley was the golden boy of a little network called Bravo, an underdog in a sea of cable channels looking to cement their voices. He once led four other charges on a New York metro area witch hunt for heterosexual fashion mistakes on a show called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, later chopped down to just Queer Eye.

After a season or two, his show began tanking in the rankings, and its buzz factor wore off as other programs with similar formats entered the market. Kressley looked doomed to be ushered into the shadows of reality television has-beens. And then Lifetime came knocking.

They had a little show called How to Look Good Naked they wanted him to host, and in February 2007, word arrived he’d be leading yet another makeover show about feeling good about yourself, but this time for women. When the show premiered nearly a year later in January, it set record numbers with Lifetime; 1.6 million viewers tuned in, and Kressley was solidified as a television commodity.

Very quickly, Kressley became the male face of Lifetime; perhaps more importantly, it was Lifetime’s acknowledgment that its unofficial tagline, “Television for women (and gay men)” was part of its operating procedure.

Thus, it’s only logical, then, that Lifetime wants to extend its investment in Kressley. With his own talk show. This is big.

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Remember last week, when we babbled about our big gay night out and mentioned ditching our TrimWater, which we received in the Fashion Cares gift bag? No? Here's what we wrote: "…We did get a gift bag, which was clearly suited for our media credentials: shampoo, a gym membership and something called 'TrimWater,' which we were too scared to even carry."

Well, TrimWater's publicist came across our little blurb and wrote us the following note:

I saw that you found the TrimWater in your gift bags – but don’t be scared!

It's actually a great tasting low-cal, low-sugar flavored water.

Chris Wile of the Fashion Cares board told me at the event that he was chugging it as they prepped for the evening and it helped him skip dinner! Also, Christian Siriano and Carson Kressly [sic] loved it and we recently sent some product to Perez Hilton at his own request!

On top of that, 10% of all online TrimWater purchases through the summer go directly to Fashion Cares.

I attached a press release and a picture of Christian in all his fabulous glory.

So give it a try, don’t be afraid and get ready to fit into some new leather pants for next year’s event…..

Oh, unnamed publicist, there are so many things wrong with this missive.

First and foremost, we do not aspire to be like Perez Hilton or Carson Kressley. On the contrary. Second, we don't wear leather pants. They're tacky. And, on a related note, we don't need to lose weight. We just need fatter friends.

Read the aforementioned - and outdated - press release, after the jump…

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AfterElton talks with uber-gay Carson Kressley today. In addition to discussing his new Lifetime show, Kressley takes some time to address people who find him to be a dick sucking version of black face: "If I say I was being stereotypical and I do what "shouldn't" be stereotypical, then I'm living my life for somebody else and I'm marching to the beat of somebody else's drummer, and that, I think, is a worse thing."

Former ambassador Michael Guest graces The Advocate's next issue. Guest retired last month over what he called the State Department's discriminatory policies. Guest wrote:

For the past three years, I’ve urged the Secretary and her senior management team to redress policies that discriminate against gay and lesbian employees. Absolutely nothing has resulted from this. And so I’ve felt compelled to choose between obligations to my partner — who is my family — and service to my country. That anyone should have to make that choice is a stain on the Secretary’s leadership and a shame for this institution and our country.

The forthcoming Advocate - which hits stands on January 15th - also features an interview with Diane Lane, the reality of living with HIV and a profile on Carson Kressley, whom journo Tricia Romano deems "America's gay boyfriend." We'd rather be single.

Former Queer Eye Carson Kressley and a gaggle of gals took to Times Square today to promote Kressley's new Lifetime show, How to Look Good Naked. We're told the march sparked riots, chaos and plagues across the city. If you're in New York, do not - we repeat, do not! - go outside.

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Australian gay activist Gary Burns better get a handle on himself. The Labour Party volunteer got the boot this weekend after "verbally abusing" Environment Minister Malcolm Turnbull's wife, Lucy. The brouhaha reportedly began on a Sydney street, where Burns took some time to voice his objection to MP Turnbull's anti-gay politics.

Apparently Burns wasn't satisfied by the public tongue lashing, because he later wrote a scathing letter to Mr. Turnbull:

You will get more angry homosexuals like me attacking you verbally in public because of your fascist leader John Howard, who treats my community like second-class citizens.

Your middle-aged well dressed "fag hag" impersonator of a wife will not protect you from the anger my community has stored up for you and your Government come election day on Saturday November 24. You are a weak and pathetic excuse for a human being.

While that may be true, the Labour Party found Burns' emotional explosion to be unfit: they've since dropped him from their volunteer roster.

This isn't the first time Burns has caused an international incident: the activist famously challenged radio DJ John Laws for calling Carson Kressley a "pillow biter", which could have simply been a statement of fact.

Looking for all the gay gossip on the new issue of Project Runway? If you answered "yes," then you'll be happy to hear that actress and big-time fag hag Shari Albert dropped 1713 words on Bravo's latest sartorial celebration.

In addition to professing her crazed love for Carson Kressley, Albert gives us the lowdown on the show's record-setting queers, including "gay boy genius" Christian Siriano.

…Siriano is so gay he makes Austen Scarlett of Season 1 seem like Rock Hudson. Oh wait, I mean Tom Cruise. Oh, that doesn't work either… Christian is so gay he makes Austen Scarlett seem like Rupert Everett! Shit.

Ok, how about Sir Ian McKellen? George Michael? Sean Patrick Harris?

Man, is anyone straight?

Christian is only 21 and the baby of Season 4. He's incredibly talented and has 'tude for days.

From the way Albert describes him, Siriano could very well could be a real-life, adult version of Ugly Betty's gay nephew, Justin.

Queer guy Carson Kressley said "Heeeeeey" to the Australian cast of Priscilla: The Musical this weekend.

The word "retribution" comes to mind.

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Bravo's cooking contest, Top Chef, turns up the heat this season in Miami. While fan favorites Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio make their triumphant return with a new sidekick, Ted Allen.

That's right, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's culinary queer's up in the mix as the show's newest, gayest judge. AfterElton sits down with Allen to get the scoop on the show and, for some reason, his taste in men. Literally:

AE: You're trapped on a deserted island with Tom Colicchio, Carson Kressley and Rupert Everett. Whom do you eat to survive, and how would you prepare them?
TA: First of all, I'm not eating Carson. He'd be all stringy. Carson is a little too lean. Tom Colicchio is a delicious-looking man, but I think I'd have to go with Rupert. Many of us in the community would find him the most delicious. If we're on a desert island, I'd dig a pit. Something spicy or sort of Caribbean would be good for Rupert Everett.

Allen also offers some details on the hottie contestants, the season's tasty twists and insists he's not a party guy. He's more inclined, he says, to spend his time eating a Cuban…sandwich.

• Tim Hardaway's homophobia makes The Today Show's Ann Curry giggle.

• Gaydar to honor Gary Frisch at party. Poppers not included.

• Rosie O'Donnell wants John Stamos and his big cock, too.

• Margaret Thatcher's made of stone.

• Milli Vanilli to become movie?

• Lifetime takes pity on Carson Kressley.

• Someone buy Carson Kressley's book for Carson Kressley, please! (Thanks, Radar.)

• Maybe Kressley can then give the book to Ontario's Health Minister, George Smitherman - he's marrying his long-time beau this summer.

• We're sure President Bush won't be invited. We're also sure he'll be really offended. You know, because he's so compassionate.

• Here's a little tonic for your upset tummy: rumor has it that John Barrowman may sign on to play a seductive gay villain opposite Daniel Craig's James Bond.

• After you're done thinking about Barrowman getting naked with Bond, why not think about some of the most famous young designers, some of whom we'd like to get naked with, too. After we play dress up, of course.

• Now you've picked out your wardrobe, allouw John Mayer to provide a lesson in how not to open an interview with Ryan Seacrest, "You’re like the Anderson Cooper of E!” Oh, wait, actually, we think every interview with Ryan Seacrest should start like that…

If he does end up with his very own radio show, we hope the hypocritical Jim West doesn’t resort to any verbal gay bashing. He wouldn’t want to make the same mistake as Aussie radio host John Laws who decided to take on, of all people, our beloved Carson Kressley. But Law has now apologized for calling our favorite Queer Eye queen a “pompous little pansy prig” among several other little niceties.

In the broadcast, Laws said of Kressley: "Who is this who was strutting around everywhere yesterday, telling Australian blokes how to wear their pocket square, as he called it?

"That's poofspeak for handkerchief … Who is he? He might be famous in certain circles, circles being the operative word … What the hell does a pillow-biter know about judging girls? They should have a few truckies down there, or me."

Laws told the tribunal he meant no offence to homosexuals and said the comments were "tongue in cheek" and "lighthearted, almost satire". He said he had nothing against homosexuals and that he had many homosexual friends.

Law's statement reeks of someone who has desperately shifted into damage control mode. But we could be incorrect in our translation. After all, English isn’t our first language. It’s poofspeak.

Pillow-biter comment just an attempt at humour, says Laws [The Australian]

• We so did not need to see Carson Kressley shirtless at the White Party. We mean, really, we did not need to see that. [HX]

• A reader did a little sleuthing and found out that Mark Bess, the man who wrote us last week’s hate mail, lives on Gay Dreisbach Road. Oh, the irony. [Queerty]

• If given the choice between Christ and Oprah, we’d probably go with Ms. W. But the thing that really gets us worked up over this letter is Alan Chambers’ photo. Look at her. She is obviously a gay. Just look at that cock-sucking smile. [Exodus International]

• Oh dear God. So many stockings to stuff. So little time. Andy has pictures of Boston’s Santa Speedo Run. [Towleroad]

• HX put us in their Homo Dish column, where all the A-Gays are name-dropped. How we got in we’ll never know being C-Gays and all. [HX]