So Hopey's off to D.C. today to measure the drapes at the White House and you spent the weekend getting drunk and chanting "Yes We Did". But before you spend your day choosing a talking woodland creature to be your sidekick, here's a sobering reminder that over in joyless Mudville (aka The Family Research Council), they're already planning for 2012. Turns out there is one area that the Christian right did really well last Tuesday, and they think it could be the key to future success, according to MSNBC.

"Conservative politicians lost. Traditional values succeeded," said Tom Minnery, a vice president of Dobson's Focus on the Family. "It ought to tell them to get a clue about the importance of marriage. We were frustrated that Sen. McCain would not speak out about marriage strongly and repeatedly."

While discussion of the future of the G.O.P. is an ongoing one, social conservatives are of the opinion that the key to winning back the White House is by holding fast to social issues like "abortion, gay marriage and judges". Because it's my first day and I don't want to totally depress you off the bat, exit polls seem to indicate that this election is in fact, "a realignment" and unless evangelicals are able to appeal to a broader group than, well pissed off white folks, they'll find themselves increasingly irrelevant in our shiny rainbow-hued tomorrow.

Jesus may have been a rabble-rouser, but no doubt he'd wag a holy finger at the hoodlums who tagged Jesus Metropolitan Community Church's pro-gay billboard. According to bilerico, the pious progressive teamed up with Faith in Action to place a number of billboards and yard signs proclaimed Jesus' equally progressive politics. Not surprisingly, some people objected to the so-called son of God's posthumous politics.

JMCC's senior pastor, Reverend Jeff Mineer, refuses to give up the good Good Book fight:

There appears to be some kind of organized effort to suppress our message of hope. But that will only reinforce our determination to go forward. For too long, religious extremists have distorted what the Bible really says about homosexuality. We're taking the Bible back, and religious extremists aren't happy about it.

Homie ain't playin'.

Via Joe. My. God.

(PS: Can any of you cultural warriors cite the headline's reference? Here's an inspirational hint: think Big.)

Good news for you God loving gays: the world's first gay Christian website has officially launched. Founded by Justin Cannon, a preacher who also runs the gay Christian site, Truth Sets Free, Gayharmony aims to fill a particular void.

Cannon says:

Most GLBTQ Christians are excluded from joining Christian personals sites, and gay and other personals sites aren’t structured to meet their specific needs.

We think that's great. Now we heathens troll for poon without worrying about corrupting our sinful ways. Yippee!

Usually we hate taking pleasure in other people's failures (okay, maybe "hate" is a bit of a stretch) but not when the people in question are the once almighty Christian Coalition. The group, which was founded by Pat Robertson (pictured) in his unholy quest to squash everything gay, has lost another affiliate, 365 Gay reports.

Joining Ohio, Iowa, and Alabama, the Georgian branch of haters has cut ties with the infirmed organization, saying: "The Christian Coalition of America has left us, we have not left them." Why? The Coalition has been pumping more energy into enviornmental and wage issues.

Damn, these anti-gay folk are even more ignorant than we thought. Doesn't everyone care about increasing minimum wage? Does this mean they would rather be starving in a cess pool than even consider giving gays marriage rights? Dumb fucks.

While the group has removed itself from The Coalition roster, they'll continue on their merry mary-hating way. Great.

With the publishing of the Top 20 "Christian" organizations and their leaders, many of the most powerful people who hate us are now available for viewing in a concise list. Our friend Pam has gathered together some addiitonal facts about the figures on the list that weren't available in the original article. Some Fun Facts:

The Rotting CryptkeeperTM Fred Phelps called Dobson an "old heretic" who has "caved to the faggot juggernaut."

Roy [Moore] declared homosexuality "abhorrent, immoral, detestable, a crime against nature." Gay sex, he wrote, is "an act so heinous that it defies one's ability to describe it," an "inherent evil" that "should never be tolerated."

Tony Perkins (l.) paid David Duke $82K for the former Klansman honcho's mailing list.

We were surprised not to see the good Rev. Jerry Falwell anywhere on this list. Maybe he just isn't crazy enough (a scary prospect).

Guide to the Top 20 AmTaliban [Pam's House Blend]
20 Reasons There Is Hope for America [Agape Press]

• Thousands of probably forged signatures are forcing the Massachusetts legislature to consider a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. And we thought Christians were supposed to be honest. [365 Gay]

• Richard Hatch, winner of the first season of Survivor, is being held in prison because the judge thought he would flee the country after being convicted of tax evasion. If Big Rich is trying to pull a Martha, we hate to be the first to tell him that neither does he have as many fans as Martha nor will his story be as interesting (we doubt Rich will be knitting any ponchos in jail). [Boston Herald]

• A cop in Jamaica is called gay by a prisoner and retaliates by setting the guy on fire. What ever happened to "I know you are but what am I?" [Jamaica Gleaner]

• The biggest non-surprise of 2006 has occurred with Nigeria's ban of same-sex marriage. We only wonder whether it was introduced by the fundamentalist Muslim or Christian camp. [Life Site]

The must have met at Church. Despite being told from a young age that their virginity is a special jewel that should be given only in the marital bed, over 60% of male and female Baptists surveyed did the nasty before their big day, according to a new study. There is no data on gay sex, but over 70% had oral sex, and a mouth is a mouth (is a mouth).

Let us remind you that this data is from a survey of young Christians who have received abstinence-only education. Some have even signed purity pledges, but to no avail. In this critical time, if a teen cannot remain 100% pure, we recommend trying to remain a "technical virgin," which is pretty darn close.

Now there are two big questions that remain: What percentage of these sexually-active young Christians have had unwanted pregnancies or abortions due to improper or non-existent sex education? And perhaps more importantly, will this new data lead to a decline in the sale of white wedding dresses? We suggest pink as a tasteful alternative color.

Apparently True Love Doesn't Always Wait [Agape Press via Ex-Gay Watch]