• We've been seriously missing They Might Be Giants. In an effort to satisfy our aural yen, here's "Istanbul".

• University of Texas professor launches hunger strike for domestic partner benefits.

• Tabloid rumors hurt Queen Latifah's feelings.

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Tom Ford's cologne doesn't smell like cocaine! It smells like moist vagina!

• Final leg of federal investigation into Mark Foley's illicit instant messages is slow going. It turns out neither Mark Foley nor the US House of Representatives will turn over the computers. (The FBI's unconstitutional snafu with Rep. William Jefferson reminded people of a 200-year old precedent. That means Foley can now self-censor "legislative business" from federally requested desktops. Convenient.)

• No illicit info in Foley emails. (An independent House review claims they took a look at Foley's emails through September 29th, the day he resigned. No nudie shots, allegedly.)

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San Francisco's gays must be the fastest fags around. An April study estimates that 13% of the population uses meth. What's worse, of the 5,524 shooters (those who inject drugs), about 54% use speed. These figures do not, however, suggest daily use. BAR elaborates:

Taken together, the numbers suggest that 10,003 gay men in San Francisco are meth users. Overall, the task force estimated that 46,000 residents use meth. The task force came to its decision after reviewing data from a dozen studies, and usage could range anywhere from once a day to once in the past year.

Regardless of regularity, the city government's trying to slow things down with the new, "socially realistic" Resist Meth campaign.

Pretty snazzy, huh? Although, to be honest, we prefer our anti-meth campaigns to show the actual effects of meth, ie: missing teeth, sunken face, shattered lives.

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A blow-loving Brit Dutchman thought he could lose cops in a corn field. It didn't work.

• Greg Scarnici - the adorable homo who brought us the now legendary Beyonce send-up - wrote the opening credits for Oscar Award-winning filmmaker Curt Johnson's animal-friendly doco, Your Mommy Kills Animals. MC Fashionista and BQE make the fur fly. Well, not really.

• Former Secretary of State and Chairman of the Joint Chief, Colin Powell spoke about Don't Ask, Don't Tell on this weekend's Meet The Press. Here's what old Mr. P had to say about the plan he helped devise: "I think it's certainly moving in [away from DADT]. I think the, the country has changed in its attitudes quite a bit. 'Don't ask, don't tell' was an appropriate response to the situation back in 1993. And the country certainly has changed…" While he didn't rescind his historic endorsement of the law, The Front Lines points out he's been mulling the homos: I will not second-guess the commanders who are serving now, just as I didn't want to be second-guessed 12 or 13 years ago. But I think the country is changing. We may eventually reach that point."

• The Economist + New York + Dick = New Fag Rag.

• Massachusetts' gay marriage vote to be delayed?

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Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard, Lee Weaver, sure has some loose lips. In addition to blowing up Lohan's 10-hour blowfest with Nicole Ritchie, the 48-year old hulk alleges Lil' Lilo got down with the ladies:

She used boys for drugs and girls for thrills. I lost count of the women she took back to her hotel room from clubs. I even saw her try to grope Mariah Carey’s bottom and boobs one night as they danced. One time I went to look for her in a club bathroom and found her in the corner French-kissing a girl.

Lost count of the women she brought back to her hotel room? Hmm, that's a bit nebulous. She could have just been snorting lines with them. Or, if we can inject some more explicit lesbian fantasy, she snorted circles of coke off her trick's titties, suckled said titties, went on downtown and munched that carpet like she had lost a gram.

Hopefully Samantha Ronson's not the jealous type.

• There's a scourge wreaking sartorial havoc on gay communities - men who refuse to age gracefully. Pretty scary, right? Don't worry, Patrick Huguenin can help. First, you have to decide where you're coming from and where you want to go. We're leaning toward a rake (pictured). Pretty sexy for a sketch, no? [Genre]

• Outrage! outraged over Ghana's anti-gay laws. They best be careful, lest they have another Nigeria controversy. [UK Gay News]

• Arkansas advanced a bill to ban gay adoptions. Fuckers. [Arkansas News]

• Mr. Show on reparative therapy. [QueerSighted]

• Where's The Simpsons Movie premiering? Springfield, of course. Which Springfield? That depends on which one's got the most Simpsons love. [Houston Chronicle]

• Lesbians love Amy Winehouse and her drunken ways. But, really, who doesn't? [AfterEllen]

• Matt Sanchez had a little chat with Michelangelo Signorile. Joe from Joe.My.God's totally got the audio. Best if taken with a grain of salt and a whole lotta disbelief. [Joe.My.God]

• Gay veteran and Don't Ask activist, Eric Alva to General Peter Pace: "Judging gay men and women in the military for factors unrelated to their fitness to serve undermines our military's effectiveness." [Pink News UK]

• HRC said something, too. [HRC]

• General Peter Pace to world: "I admit I shouldn't have said anything, but I'm still not apologizing to a bunch of immoral butt fuckers. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go fuck Ann Coulter up the ass." [HuffPo]

• Finally, a friend sent us the video for a German toilet commercial. Let's just say it makes us reconsider how, where and when we do our next line of blow. See for yourself, after the jump…

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Alright, we're not really sure how this is going to go over with you kids, but we've decided to post a video from Virginia-based brotherly duo, Clipse.

Gene and Terrence Thornton (aka Malice and Pusha-T, respectively) have made a name as much for their inventive, The Neptunes-produced sound as for their coke-centric lyrics. (Remember that Sasha Frere-Jones review?)

Anyway, we think they're hot, the videos feature Pharrell and that's really all we can say. Above the jump you'll find "Mr. Me Too" from their most recent release, Hell Hath No Fury… Meanwhile, after the jump, "Grindin'" will give you a taste of their first album, Lord Willin'.

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• Doug Blasdell of Bravo's Work Out died unexpectedly after being rushed to the hospital over the weekend. He was a mere forty-four years of age. No word on cause of death…

• Brandy's "sorry" for accidentally killing someone with her car. We should certainly hope so…

• Senator Dan Sutton will certainly be sorry if found guilty of groping a 19-year old male page. (Seriously, what's wrong with these people?)

• "We applaud and encourage Isaiah's realization that he needs help and his subsequent choice to seek immediate treatment for his behavioral issues," says Grey's Anatomy producer Shondra Rhimes on Isaiah Washington's trip to bigot rehab.

• Speaking of bigots: Hampton University has yet again blocked the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance.

• So, Paris Hilton didn't pay her rent on a storage unit, some schmuck bought all the contents and has no posted pictures of said contents online. Nothing really interesting, except this picture, of a man covered in what appears to be about a kilo of cocaine. Why? It's a party! Duh.

While we're on the subject of books that pop out at you, you may be interested in the newest release from those big kids at Melcher Media: The Pop-Up Book of Celebrity Meltdowns.

Above you can see Paris Hilton about to make her sex-tape. Notice Rick Solomon getting a nice, long look at her twat. Very life like, no?

In addition to seeing Hilton thrust, lucky readers get a glimpse of Hugh Grant's hooker tryst, Russell Crowe lobbing a phone and - of course - Kate Moss snorting blow.

Sure it's not as…engaging as DX3, but we're sure more than a few out there celeb-watchers are happy to know about it. And that's what this job's all about: making you happy.

The Colombian vice-president, Francisco Santos, had some harsh words for Kate "Blow Hard" Moss the other day.

Speaking on his nation's protracted war on drugs, Santos put the blame on Moss and other coke-tooting celebs. Our guilty-pleasure, the ultra-conservative British news-tabbie, The Daily Mail quotes him as saying:

When [Moss] appeared to snort a line of cocaine, she put land mines in Colombia, she killed people in Colombia, she displaced people in Colombia, she helped finance kidnapping. To me it's baffling that somebody who helps cause so much pain in Colombia is doing better than ever and winning more contracts than ever.

"And I never once heard her say 'I'm sorry'. When in Colombia policemen, judges, journalists, common men and women are dying every day because of [drug-related violence], that hurts.

Oh no! Who knew Kate Moss had so much destructive power? If she does two lines, will the world stop spinning?

His words coincide with the beginning of a new advertising campaign urging druggies everywhere to consider the damage their butrose habit's have on Colombia. The heavy-handed tagline reads, "Cocaine not only destroys you, it also destroys a country".

We can't help but wonder, however, if Santos has such harsh words for his politico-peers who profit off of the laughing powder.

• Those gay animals in Oslo really know how to get down. [Celeb Hijinx]

• GOPper says that if Dems. win House, "Gay agenda will rule." (If only…) [365 Gay]

• AfterElton takes a look at "naughty" words. Fuck that. [AfterElton]

• The United Way throws the Boy Scouts some dough, despite their previous refusal over the group's anti-homo stance. Bollocks! [Proceed At Your Own Risk]

• We like hemp. And we like milk. But hemp milk? Gross. [US Newswire]

• People are bent out of shape over Kate Moss having a drink while pregnant. Whatever, her baby's lucky she's not blowing rails. Yet. [Best Week Ever]

• Speaking of coke: 7-Eleven is not down with Cocaine. The drink, that is… [Access GA via Agenda, Inc.]

It's good to know we're not the only people in the world who want to see Kate Moss and her daughter, Lila Grace. escape Pete Doherty's clammy, drug-adled grasp.

Douglas Hack, lil' Lila's grandfather on her Dazed and Confused publisher father Jefferson Hack's side, wants to insure that Pete Doherty has no role in the tot's life. As everyone's favorite conservative British tabbie, The Daily Mail, reports, Hack said, "We're worried about Doherty and his drug situation. We don't want Lila around him or drugs."

Oh, please, that poor child was probably nursed on heroin. And, if not heroin, we're sure a little blow found its way into mama's milk.

While we'll never understand Moss' attraction to the admitted junkie, Hack speculates it's the rock star allure she finds so intriguing:

She'd love to be a rock star herself,' he said. 'That's why she hangs out with that crowd the whole time. She doesn't really like modelling that much.

Given the the cool reception she received when she sang with Doherty last month, we hope Moss isn't holding her breath. Besides, why would Moss want to give up her reported £30 million annual salary? Imagine all the blow she could buy…

Oh Boy George, do your legal woes ever end?

If AIDS Organization Care Resource has anything to say about it, never. Or, not until they get the $8400 deposit they gave him to perform at a 2005 event. Unfortunately, before Boy Georgie Boy could fulfill his end of the contract, he got nabbed for possession of cocaine following the "robbery" at his house.

Since then, Care Resource has been struggling to get their money, but to no avail. Now they're getting nasty by sending out press releases insisting their struggle shall continue until the former Culture Club front man coughs up the dough. In said press release, Care Resource Executive Director Rick Siclari says:

The $8,400 that Boy George and Red Parrot took from Care Resource would have paid the cost of primary medical care for 9 of our patients for a full year.

Damn, not only are they distributing this press release left and right, but they're making Boy George out to be a monster. That's not fair. We know he's not a monster. He's just a coke head.

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