It's hard to find a man these days. Let alone a super man. The seemingly endless quest for love can get a bit tiresome, leading lonely hearts in the realm of fantasy. Never fear, heartbroken homos - the superhero match makers are here!

Despite existing in separate comic company realms, Doctor Fate and Professor X have teamed up to help you find the super-powered lover of your dreams. All you have to do is head on over to the Superhero Dating Quiz, answer some standard questions - "Do You Like Big Muscles?", "Do you like flying?" - and the duo find your match.

We're 65.2% compatible with Beast from the X-Men. Batman trailed close behind with 64.6%. No offense, Beast, but we're going to go with Batman. Oh, shit, we've made Beast cry!

It's not you, Beast, it's our distaste for shedding animals. We'll give you a call if things between us and old Bat butt don't work out.

(Super thanks to reader Nathan for sending us the link. You're our hero.)

"Hi, Ass Licker! here. You guys work too hard. Why don't you take a break to draw a comic for Lambda Legal? You're probably thinking, "What the fuck does Lambda Legal want with a comic book?" Well, I'll tell you.

The lisping litigators have joined forces with Prism Comics - the non-profit gay comic company - to show what the world would look like without courts. That is, if there were no judicial platform for gay and civil rights. Sounds pretty horrifying to us.

So, put on those thinking caps, get out those magic markers and dive into the jump for the complete details. One lucky winner could win a trip for two to anywhere in the continental United States. Sorry, no Hawaii or Alaska…but what do you want, they're non-profits! Now, I've got some ass to lick. Ass Licker! away!"

For Ass Licker!'s origin, click here.

CONTINUED »

• We have to give a huge thanks to reader Nathan, for he led us to this Marvel Comics-endorsed website where you can make your own super hero. It's fucking rad and you should go make one. Here's our first attempt: Ass Licker! And, yes, the exclamation mark's part of his name. You have to say it like that: "Ass Licker!" no matter what, even if you're whispering. His power: he licks ass, of course. We expect he'll have some friends soon. [heromachine]

• Speaking of heroes, Britney Spears apparently has three: her mama, her ex and her lawyer. We'd argue the third's the most powerful. [TMZ]

• Here's a heroic Hebrew: orthodox Rabbi Steve Greenberg. He's lent his voice to the great gay marriage debate. His argument revolves around the necessary distinction between civil matters and those of faith: "By denying the right to civil unions, states are in violation of civil rights…" [Emory]

• Yee-haw! It's time for the Gay Rodeo, y'all. [Dallas Morning News]

• Sounds like Kenneth Hill needs a trip to that there Gay Rodeo. He's getting all nostalgic for Brokeback. [QueerSighted]

• Meanwhile, Rupert Everett's hosting Sydney's Mardi Gras. Naked. Okay, not naked, but he's apparently at a loss at what to wear. Also, Also, he's got a new book out. Not sure if you've heard… [Sydney Morning Herald]

Certainly you remember the story on how a group of pious investigators discovered Walmart.com sells "gay books". In an effort to stop their dastardly deeds, concerned consumer Donna Garner gathered a group of homies to raise a stink, telling The Baptist Press:

I think we’ve done a pretty good job in our country of letting Wal-Mart know we’ve not been pleased at all with their decision to back the homosexual agenda.

Of course you're not, honey. And, yes, you have done a "good" job.

As we learned with the Wal-Mart v. American Family Association, the mega store's got a reputation for folding under pressure. Thus, it (unfortunately) comes as no surprise that they've already pulled a number of titles from their online store. The twist comes in a particular genre being targeted: a sexually explicit anime known as Yaoi Hentai and the so-called controversy that boils below.

CONTINUED »

While we're on the subject of crotches, we'd like to point you in the direction of retroCRUSH, the like totally pop-culture obsessed website.

Our friend Teelin sent us this link yesterday. With a simple click of a button, you too can guess which crotch belongs to which super-hero.

The website had a contest which, unfortunately, has passed, but we suspected you kids need a little break from the monotony of Tuesday morning.

Sure, you can't win, but you can waste a little time and test your comic-crotch knowledge.

What could be better?

While Francisco Santos's hating Kate Moss, we're loving all the art submissions coming in for our continuing We Want Your Art series.

"He Didn't Notice", a comic book (and Roy Lichtenstein?)-inspired lamentation of unequited homo love, comes to us from a reader named Just Sam. He gave us no last name, so this is what we've taken to calling him. Just Sam also failed to divulge the illustrated character's name, so we've taken to calling him "Trauttie" after our favorite homo-journo, Jesse Trautmann - who, we must say, has not returned our last email. We think he's pissed about our post about his break-up. Sorry, Jesse, we couldn't help ourselves.

Okay, back to Just Sam…

When he's not doodling away, Just Sam works in the Marvel Comics Toy Division. Pretty fucking cool, right? Not surprisingly, he's also a member of the Gay League, which he claims is a bit nerdy (which it is), but still earns him our undying love.

While Just Sam doesn't have a personal website, he does illustrate a bi-weekly comic strip for the cats over at Espirituality. Also, if you want to drop him a line, send him a piece of electronic mail: lostsleep@yahoo.com.

Don't worry, we've got more art coming your way. But, of course, we're always looking for more, so send it our way! Who knows, you could end up like Eric Sizemore and get an entire feature!

(Update: Sam's surname's Hatmaker. We're still going to call him Just Sam, though.)

We couldn't resist posting this comic from Salon. We figured you would all get a kick out of it and given the fact that many of you don't have Times access, we guessed you don't have a Salon membership, either.

As we've established again and again, we're big nerds. Like, the biggest. Bigger than you, even. Yet, we still get emails citing us as cool (okay, one email, but still…). Anyway, to prove once again that were big ol' dweebs, here's the link to AfterElton's story on gay comic book characters.

The boys jump from comic company to comic company, highlighting the goods, the bads, and the uglies of the business. One ugly, they say, comes in the form of Marvel Comic's EIC, Joe Quesada. Of the seemingly straight-washed gay character, The Rawhide Kid (pictured - notice the warning, another thing with which they boys take offense), they write:

Many gay readers were recently shocked to learn that the entry for Rawhide Kid in an encyclopedia-style comic, Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe No. 9 (published Sept. 27), fails to mention his homosexuality and even seems to do its best to erase the possibility of it. That being said, in recounting histories, Handbook writers are limited to story content.

Quesada stated in an interview that the incident was unintentional and no offense was intended, and Rawhide Kid is still gay. Quesada has not responded to AfterElton.com's request for comments regarding the general treatment of gay and lesbian characters in Marvel comics.

Whatever, at least we'll always have Hulking and Wiccan, the cute homo duo from The Young Avengers. Or do we? (Read the article to find out.)

Also, as an aside, when AfterElton's editor, Michael Jensen, told us about the story, we sent an excited email promising to give it a twirl. His reply? "Somehow I knew you'd be into the comics piece!"

Oh, Michael, you know us so well…

For our 3000th post, we've decided to post this faux-Superman cover. Why?

Well, the vintage aesthetic evokes childhood memories, the pedophilia context draws on the present Foley scandal, the horror on the boys face guarantees future trauma, and the comic book aspect draws on the fact that we'll be total fucking nerds forever. Quite a package, no?

Plus, we think it's funny.

Like so many people last night, we tuned into NBC's new series, Heroes. If episode one's any indication, they've got a great show on their hands. While we'd love to go on and on about the hunkiness of Sendhil Ramamurthy (who plays Professor Mohinder Suresh) or how Milo Ventmiglia's dreamy Peter Petrelli makes us wet (very wet), we think the show's a perfect segue into something we were saving for Friday's edition of "Save Me Gay Heroes:" Enigma by Peter Milligan.

For all you guppies out there, Enigma helped DC launch its "mature" series, Vertigo, and introduced us to Michael Smith. An admitted bore, Smith's life's turned upside down when his favorite superhero, The Enigma, comes to life. Drawn to his childhood fantasy in more ways than one, Smith must confront his own enigma: his latent homosexuality.

CONTINUED »

• "Don't Ask" Protesters Heading to New York. Soldiers with a cause. [365 Gay]

• Britney names baby Sutton Pierce so kids can have same initials. Gross. [Star Magazine]

• "Gay Warning on Comics a Myth," Marvel Says. Nerds rejoice! [The Washington Blade]

• If you're in San Fran, get some culture with Urquhart's show. You need it. [Artforum]

• Episcopal Church in Texas Splits Off Over Gays. Good riddance. [The Advocate]

• Convict Wants Vagina and Says State Should Pay. No comment. [ABC News]

All you loyal readers know that we have two semi-obsessions: comic books and GLAAD. So, for this very special edition of "Save Me Gay Heroes!," we're merging the two. Two days ago, we brought you a little piece about a commissioned GLAAD paper on queers on survivor. Now, we're bringing to your attention another paper from GLAAD that explores a gay hate crime in the Green Lantern (pictured, in his incarnation from that era) from a few years ago.

It seems the long-running title had a gay character, Terry Berg, who fell victim to some homophobic violence. Needless to say, this was quite a groundbreaking story. By following the link, you too can experience the 33 page magic of GLAAD complete analysis. Neat, huh? In case you're too lazy - we know you're not too busy - to read the entire thing, here's a little clip for you:

The hate crime story line in the Green Lantern provides a comelling opportunity to examine a groundbreaking event in the history of the comic book industry as well as a chance to probe cultural and ideological perceptions regarding GLBT community and anti-gay hate crimes.

What do you expect? Even the watchdogs over at GLAAD have to justify their existence, right? But, seriously, of all the studies at which GLAAD throws money, this is actually one we like.

Shit, did we just say that? Someone needs to do a study on us, because we've obviously lost our minds.

Our friends over at AfterElton have an illuminating article on gay love in manga, Japanese illustrated serials. (We called them "comics" once and our friend nearly shat. We replied, "Why get bogged down by semantics?" our favorite post-modern linguistic dismissal.) In the article, written by Hikaru Freeman, one learns all about a series called Gravitation.

Set in modern day Japan, the story revolves around up-and-coming rock star, Shuichi Shindo, and his burgeoning love affair with writer, Eiri Yuki. What struck us most about the piece is that there's an entire genre of boy love manga Freeman refers to as shonen-ai, "which literally translates to 'young-boy love.'"

We did a little research on the everyman's encyclopedic website, Wikipedia, and apparently shonen-ai is dated term, and typically refers to actual pedophilia. But, again, semantics… Originally, the genre was marketed to women, who adored the stories of fagling love, but has drawn new audiences as more young Japanese men and women find the strength to come out. If only we had a similar genre when we were young…

"Gay Love in Japanese Manga" [AfterElton]
Shonen-ai [Wikipedia]

As we've mentioned more than a few times, it's Friday. And, as it's Friday, it's time for another edition of every gay nerd's favorite game: "Save Me Gay Heroes!" Yay!!

We received a surprising amount of comments and emails from the first edition, some more helpful than others. Our friend kb reminded us of the mutant, Northstar. Formerly of Alpha Flight (we agree, kb, they were lame), Northstar came out after finding an abandoned girl infected with HIV. This was way back in the day, so definitely a big deal.
Kirke informed us of Wiccan and Hulkling, two Young Avengers with a thirst for eachother. They sure do look hunky, even if they are barely-legal cartoons.

And yet another reader, Russell, to be exact, sent us in the direction of his boyfriend's website: Boy Meets Hero. There, one can find some indie gay supes. See, who says shameless self-promotion doesn't pay?

Send us some more. We need a little fantasy in our lives.

Relive the magic of the original Save Me Gay Heroes! Save Me!

Despite what we may say, we're total fucking nerds. Like so many nerds, we have a real thing for comic books. Maybe it's the fantastical elements we find so appealing, or the compelling art, or the fact that in the world of illustration, people are so often more beautiful than any human ever.

We did a little searching - very little - and found a list of a few of the more attractive gay comic books heroes. Aside from the newly lesbianic Batwoman, here are a few notables: Rawhide Kid (like no one knew), the appropriately monikered lesbian villain Scandal, and the ultra hunky Colossus (Pictured here, no doubt reaching for a nice, hard penis) from the X-Men (which is funny, because he used to date Kitty Pryde aka Shadowcat, who always seemed a bit dykey to us).

Yeah, you can definitely tell it's Friday.