A few cities across the country have employed gay police liaisons in an effort to curb homophobic aggression on the behalf of their police forces. Now, The Washington Gay and Lesbian Liaison is being cited as a model. Founded in 2000, the 15-member strong group works with other flat foots and community volunteers (aka snitches) to solve crimes among gay communities. We think that's swell, but what we find most alluring is the group's leader, Sgt. Brett Parson (pictured). According to a piece from 365 Gay, the "burly" Parson gave up his gig as a hockey ref to fight crime. Forget superheroes, we want more coppers like Parson. We'll gladly snitch.

• The Vatican continues to make absoultely no sense. This time it's rumored they might allow gay priests after all. The caveat? Hard proof they've had no nookie for three years. We want to be the ones responsible for those tests.

• 50's film pretty boy Tab Hunter stops by NYC's Out Professionals Center this month for a chat about his prolific film career and what it was like to fuck Anthony Perkins.

• A British author was kicked out of a children's talk for calling Harry Potter "gay," something we've been saying for years.

• Though what we're really waiting for is the Colin Farrell sex tape to hit the internets, we must make do with Tom Sizemore and possibly the white trash couple of the Century, Kevin Federline and a pregnant Britney.

• We expect our lesbo cops to be nothing but "verbally aggressive."

• As everybody and their mother now knows, Tom Cruise captive Katie Holmes is with child. Glee! Little Scientologists!

•A Christian school in California has expelled a 14-year old girl upon learning her parents are gay. I guess we glossed over the part in the Bible where Jesus said “thou shalt not educate the offspring of lesbians.”

•We’re bummed that we didn’t get to see Sandra Bernhard rip on both Barbara “Mrs. Doubtfire” Bush and Condi “Ferragamo” Rice in person.

•Ex-gay camp Love in Action employees are allowed to continue their brainwashing for one more week. But not to worry. Once the place shuts its doors for good, they'll easily find jobs working for the Vatican.

•For the last time: Kenny Chesney IS NOT GAY!. Right…

•“Amnesty International: Cops abuse gays, need to add liaison officers.” But will they be Dangerous Liaisons?

•Stuff you need to schedule your life around this weekend: The bitchy Desperate Housewives (and wet dream Jesse Metcalf) are back this Sunday night and single mom Jodie Foster takes on yet another single mom role in Flightplan.