Oh gosh, we'll get to the weirdness of the Coop hosting this segment in a sec, but don't you just want to punch Tony Perkins, Family Research Council President's face in? By "punch" we mean "invalidate his intolerance through legal due process", of course. It is pretty gratifying to watch him bluster on as Dan Savage senses fear radiating from Perkins' beady little eyes. I know, I know, this discussion should have happened before Prop. 8 passed, but it didn't. We're having it now by making ourselves and our point visible, though and that's worth celebrating.

It's hard watching Anderson Cooper anchor a segment about gay rights — particularly, gay marriage — when he can't even acknowledge where he stands on the issue.

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For years public figures have used the "friend" excuse to defend themselves against accusations of bigotry. We've all heard it - "I'm not a homophobe. Some of my best friends are gay."

Sarah Palin definitely played that card in 2006, when she told an Alaskan newspaper that though she supported her state's potential ban on same-sex marriage, she's not against the gays: "Palin said she's not out to judge anyone and has good friends who are gay, but that she supported the 1998 constitutional amendment."

Yet, in the weeks since John McCain picked Palin as his running mate, however, there's been nary a mention of any queer chums coming out for Palin. Not a single homo has spoken out against media scrutiny and said, "Leave Palin Alone!" And it makes Dan Savage sad.

But the startling queer absence doesn't mean she can't find a gay friend - and Savage thinks he's just the man for the job, so he's posted a video highlighting the benefits of being his pal. Like what? Well, he can teach Palin's children about safe sex, clearly not something that's been drilled into their heads. Also, he can talk to the gals about boys and teach future son-in-law Levi Johnston new dirty words!

Of course there are plenty of other lessons gays can teach the Governor, and Savage knows that one of you darlings can offer some more tips If you want to school Palin on the benefits of the bent boys and girls, you should make a video and send a YouTube link his way.

It's really for Palin's own good. Says Savage: "Sarah Palin may have been lying when she claimed to have gay friends back in 2006 but this is America, my friends, where we can make the lies come true!"

Seattle-based safe sex educators Lifelong AIDS Alliance takes an unorthodox approach.

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Dan Savage seems to have it all: looks, brains, a steady income. Underneath his boyish, sly smile, however, Mr. Savage suppresses a deep, paralyzing fear. What does Savage have to fear, you may ask? Well, plenty.

First and foremost, politics are frightening, something he's learned during his career and various editorial positions at The Stranger. So, sex's - a subject of which Savage has written extensively on in his syndicated column, "Savage Love". Desert islands are particularly horrific, especially when the escape hinges on unthinkable sexual acts. What else frightens Savage? Pictures of your oozing penis, so stop sending them.

How do we know all of this? We asked him. Read what Savage has to say about totally frightful things like Larry Craig, sexual hypocrisy and the aforementioned oozing penis.

After the jump, of course…

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As part of his new segment, Gay Roundup, Comedy Central's Steven Colbert invited gay sexpert Dan Savage to explain the newly passed Matthew Shepard Act.

And, of course, what gay roundup would be complete with a little look at Larry Craig and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The results? Hilarious.

Michael Musto's Village Voice column reads like a eulogy this week as the gossipy gay mourns the loss of Gayville's greatest heroes: bottoms.

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You guys remember our call for your baby pictures? Well gay director Jason Bolicki went above and beyond in submitting the video, "Twenty Gay Stereotypes Confirmed". In said video, twenty gay men (including such illustrious celebrities as, Dan Savage and Big Brother's Marcellas Reynolds) introduce some popular queer cliches. Bolicki then uses some childhood video to, well, confirm them as fact. It's nine minutes and 18 seconds of pure brilliance.

Oh, as for stereotype number one, ignore it - think about us, instead.

CONTINUED »

The Bid 2 Beat AIDS auction has gotten off to a great start, but we still have a lot of money to raise for LIFEbeat. Today’s featured items will make great, irreverent gifts.

Do you know someone with a lame-ass voicemail message? Are you sick of listening to it? Now is your chance to give the gift that keeps on giving (every time you ring them up). Michael Musto, Jackie Beat, Dan Savage, and a few other offbeat, oddball personalities have agreed to write and record a custom voicemail message for the winner of these ridiculous auctions.

And because Queerty has such a devoted following Bradford has also agreed to offer up his squealing, gay voice. Yes our resident wannabe-somebody editor can be the voice of yours or somebody you love’s outgoing message. This is a fundraiser for a good cause. So get to bidding queens. We don’t want to be outdone by "The Dell Dude".