Remind us not to send our imaginary children to Memphis public schools. Administrators there have basically cleared principal Daphne Beasley of any wrongdoing in the student outing scandal.

Officials released a statement today assuring parents - and press - that Beasley did not intentionally out two gay students and, in fact, was looking out for everybody's best interest, if you can believe that. Yet, in said statement, they also allude to "explicit sexual behavior," which sounds like a euphemism to us…

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Ew. While we on the subject of nausea, a Tennessee principal has come under fire for singling out a gay couple, of whom she openly disapproved. Hollis F. Price Middle College's Daphne Beasley last year went around and asked teacher to compile a list of all known student couples so that she could "monitor PDA," which has been an elementary bane since our school days back in the 1800's.

Of the couples gathered, and displayed on the educator's desk, homo-partners Andrew and Nicholas received special attention, especially when Beasley - or Beastly - approached Nicholas' mother and essentially outed him. The principal also told the woman that she disapproved of such behaviors. And that's hardly the worst of it…

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