What was CNN journalist Richard Quest thinking when he got arrested with meth and a rope tied to his penis?

God only knows, but the kooky kids at 23/6 are venturing some guesses with a patented thought process flow chart.

Briton Quest's adventure begins with "Ah, spring in Central Park" and ends with "God save this queen."

CONTINUED »

Richard Quest's a lucky man. Rather than being thrown in the slammer for being caught with meth, the CNN anchor will complete a six month treatment program, which will essentially make the matter disappear:

At Friday’s arraignment, Judge Anthony J. Ferrara told Mr. Quest that the case would be dismissed and sealed if he reported back in October and demonstrated sufficient progress in his therapy. The judge also agreed that there would be no restrictions placed on Mr. Quest’s ability to travel.

CNN has not released a statement on Quest's arrest. They're probably hoping it disappears, as well.

Amores Perros and Babel director Alejandro González Iñárritu just signed on to direct commercials for The Meth Project. And they're just as unsettling as you would imagine, like this one - a jonesing man hitting his mother, whom he's also robbing. They grow up so fast!

Now this is a revelation. Key Republican donor Stuart Levine told a federal jury that he hosted dozens of drug-filled parties populated solely with male friends.
Chicago's Sun Times reports that Levine, a key witness against embattled real estate developer Tony Rezko, testified that his clandestine antics back to 1972:

Levine said he first experimented with drugs in 1972, primarily using marijuana and cocaine during that decade. He said he also tried quaaludes a couple of times in the same period and did LSD once.

In the mid-1980s, Levine said there was a change in his drug use when he began partying with a group of five male friends — two or three at a time — once or twice a month as his business schedule allowed.

Levine later moved on to crystal meth, which he apparently preferred.

Rezko's defense claims that Levine's drug use may have impaired his memory. They wanted to delve into the married father's sexual secrets, but the judge ruled them irrelevant. And to spare us the gory, easily envisioned details.

A study out of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic of UPMC indicates that gay guppies turn to drugs more than their straight peers:

The odds of substance use for lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) youth are on average 190 percent higher than for heterosexual youth, according to a study by University of Pittsburgh researchers published in the current issue of Addiction. What's more, for some sub-populations of LGB youth, the odds were substantially higher, including 340 percent for bisexual youth and 400 percent for lesbians, researchers found.

Those lesbians sure are rebellious!

The authors of the study, who spent ten years compiling data, point to social homophobia and violence are factors in these kids' drug use. They also stress that the majority of gays are happy, healthy and well-adjusted. Apparently they've never tried to date one!

How does one fight the meth epidemic? California officials and ad executives are hoping the answer lies in a multi-million dollar print, billboard and commercial campaign:

California drug officials launched an $11-million barrage of billboards, bus wraps, cable TV ads and a website Thursday aimed at discouraging gay men from using methamphetamine, an illegal stimulant linked to risky sexual behavior and the spread of HIV.
…
A statewide survey, also released Thursday, found that crystal meth use was 11 times more common among gay men than in the California population overall. Fifty-five percent of 549 gay and bisexual men surveyed said they had used the drug, compared with 5% of the general population.

Sorry, Me Not Meth campaign, we think you should show what meth addicts really look like: toothless, gray faced, zombified nightmares. These boys look like models.

Monday's Colbert Report featured "red letter Christian" Tony Campolo, who penned Red Letter Christians: A Citizen's Guide to Faith and Politics. Campolo's book represents a break in the Christian political movement, one which has for so long exploited Biblical misreadings to crusade against the queers.

Campolo disagrees with this backward bigots, saying marriage is in trouble because of straight divorces, not because of gays. He also believes gays should get stoned - as in high on the reefer.

We like the way this guy thinks.

Good news for Los Angeles terminally ill stoners: "The city that popularized the fast food drive-thru has a new innovation: 24-hour medical marijuana vending machines. Patients suffering from chronic pain, loss of appetite and other ailments that marijuana is said to alleviate can get their pot with a dose of convenience at the Herbal Nutrition Center, where a large machine will dole out the drug around the clock." Wait, doesn't weed cause cancer? We're so confused.

Heath Ledger's death truly does has serious implications.

President George W. Bush canceled a scheduled anti-drug speech out of respect for the actor, who died of an apparent accidental drug overdose:

The death of Heath Ledger prompted the White House to postpone President Bush's event Wednesday promoting an ad campaign aimed at preventing prescription drug abuse.
…
White House press secretary Dana Perino said Bush's event had been scheduled for a while.

"We thought it would be better to postpone the event rather than run the risk of anyone thinking that we were being opportunistic in highlighting the issue," she said.

Wow. We're surprised. The White House did, after all, use 9/11's nearly 3,000 deaths to launch a seemingly endless war.

They grow up so fast!

• From "Abigail's X-Rated Teen Diary": "Vote John McCain, but do it quickly! He could be dead tomorrow."

• Amy Winehouse dragged to rehab after crack video. And her hair's black again!

&bull: Some enterprising schmuck has posted a Brokeback Mountain oil painting on eBay. Bid: $2,500. That's gross. And the painting's ugly.

• New research shows that same-sex couples "are just as committed in their relationships as heterosexuals and the legal status of their union doesn't impact their happiness". Because we're so gay!

• Police dispatcher behind teenaged swim team porn site pics.

CONTINUED »

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

Amy Winehouse has thrown discretion out the window - or in her crack pipe. The Sun just published footage of the train wreck talent snorting coke and ecstacy before riding the train to crack town.

The tormented singing sensation took hit after hit of the deadly drug after a 19-minute binge in which she snorted powdered ecstasy and cocaine.

And she admitted she had just popped six Valium pills to “bring myself down”.

Amy’s spiral of self-destruction was revealed in a harrowing video filmed at her East London home and seen by The Sun.

It will horrify relatives and friends who fear she could soon end up dead.

Girl, she may be dead already.