Elton John obviously envies David Beckham's balls:

Sydney's A-list may have been starstruck but it took Elton John to break the ice at the Foxtel is Football party last night, greeting guest of honour David Beckham with a cheeky quote, "Allo Golden Balls".

The football king and queen of crocodile rock's friendly banter kicked off the fun at Cafe Sydney, where the A-list went ga-ga over the LA Galaxy superstar.

As you can see, Pretty On The Outside offers us a look at Beckham's aforementioned balls. And, it appears, some wishful thinking.

Singer Elton John had some choice words for President Bush before his foundation's gala. When asked to comment on the American president's AIDS policy, John took aim at Bush's anti-sex stance:

They've made a grave error in giving millions to abstinence programs. They don't work. They were told in the beginning that it wouldn't work. It's a tragic waste of money. Please don't listen to those idiots. God almighty.

Meanwhile, Anderson Cooper, who also appeared at the gala, explained that his "young gay friends" underestimate AIDS:

I talk to young gay friends in New York, and some of them seem to think the AIDS problem is a thing of the past. … The reality is that it's getting worse, not better.

Yes, yes it is…

The coppers may have nabbed his Nan Goldin shot, but Elton John seemed carefree at his eponymous AIDS foundation's Enduring Vision benefit last night.

Anderson Cooper, David Furnish and The Osbournes all took the stage during the Chopard-sponsored event to fight the nasty retrovirus. Elton, of course, employed his sensational singing skills in a duet with kd lang. How gay!

Check out some more of the attendees, after the jump.

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Note to Elton John: never lend your Nan Goldin photos to the Baltic Modern Art gallery. Via The Telegraph:

A photograph by a controversial American artist which is part of Sir Elton John's private collection has been seized by police from a gallery on suspicion it may have breached child pornography laws.

The image, which featured two young girls one of whom was sitting down with her legs wide apart, was taken by the renowned photographer Nan Goldin.

The shot, from the artist's Thanksgiving series, was to be exhibited at the Baltic Modern Art gallery, Tyneside, this week along with some of her other work. But the day before it was due to be viewed by the public, police came and removed the image over fears that it might be breaking the law.

It is thought that one of the assistant directors at the centre called in the authorities last Thursday after a private view as he was concerned that the picture could be offensive.
…
A Northumbria police spokesman said yesterday: "The circumstances around who may have been involved in the production of the image and who may have owned it or owns it forms part of the investigation. We attended the Baltic Centre last Thursday at the invitation of the management who were seeking advice about an item for an exhibition prior to it going on public display. This item is being assessed and Northumbria Police, in consultation with the CPS, is investigating the circumstances surrounding it. The incident is ongoing and investigations are now being carried out."

Investigators are apparently still stuck on one major detail: But is it art?

Sir Elton John would like nothing more than to see the internet crumble to the virtual ground.

An admitted technophobe, John tells British tab-rag The Sun that the internet continues to destroy not only musical culture, but activism, as well:

The internet has stopped people from going out and being with each other, creating stuff. Instead they sit at home and make their own records, which is sometimes OK, but it doesn’t bode well for long-term artistic vision.
…
We’re talking about things that are going to change the world and change the way people listen to music and that’s not going to happen with people blogging on the internet.

Well, fuck you very much, Sir Elton. We do loads of good. Morning Goods, for example. That always lifts people's spirits. What have you done besides champion gay rights, entertain the world for nearly five decades and raise millions to fight AIDS? Oh, we see your point.

"Appalling." That's but one of the adjectives employed by The Elton John AIDS Foundation in addressing Nepalese government officials' move to curb the non-profit's good will.

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Nepal's Blue Diamond Society has helped fifteen Dhangadi residents gets HIV/AIDS treatment since teaming up with the Elton John AIDS Foundation two months ago. Quite a feat considering Dhangadi rests near Nepal's rural western border. Despite these promising numbers, a government health official suggested the gay activist group to "find something better to do".

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Art fags can stop wishing on stars, eyelashes and dandelions: British singer Elton John has decided to share his art collection with the masses. Or so say married gossip mongers Rush & Molloy:

Elton John will spend millions to build a gallery at his British estate showcasing some of his more than 2,500 photos, including works by Robert Mapplethorpe, Andy Warhol and Herb Ritts, says a source. The musician also will build a house for a curator…

No word on where interested parties can apply - don't worry, you're probably not qualified.

(Thanks PBR Chicken for the spot on image!)

• Elton John reportedly had a royal breakdown after Prince Harry and Prince William's Concert for Diana. The singer got into with a police officer who ordered him to walk to the VIP area, rather than drive. John allegedly screamed,

Get out of my fucking way. Don't you know who I am? I've been working all fucking day and I need to get to my fucking dressing room.

Obviously Sir Elton is no lady. Nor does he get special privilege: he eventually walked.

• Is Tori Spelling a heinous bitch?

• Anti-gay Movement for a Better Hungary plans on protesting this weekend's gay pride. Whee!

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Elton John gathered his most famous, altruistic friends for the Ninth Annual White Tie and Tiara Ball. The Elton John AIDS Foundation coordinated with Chopard last night to raise funds for the fight against HIV/AIDS.

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Elton John traveled to Washington Monday to receive the National Association of Broadcasters' Service to America Leadership Award. Ever socially aware, NAB honored John's tireless work against that international nightmare, HIV/AIDS.

The guest list looked like a who's who of American culture, with democratic Senator Barbara Boxer and Representative John Dingell sitting side by side with Miss America, Lauren Nelson and Inside Edition's Deborah Norville. Meanwhile, Oleta Adams put a jazzy spin on some of John's classics, like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," which Elton no doubt did.

Taking the stage, Elton - who has cited Ryan White as his inspiration for his activism - told the enraptured audience,

This is a chance to make up for behavior I deeply regretted … I’m like the whore that goes around and rattles people’s wallets.

As opposed to the whore that goes around and rattles people's wieners? (Seriously, we've looked around for more quotes from his speech, but this is the only one we could find. It's a bit twisted, don't you think?)

In other Elton John fights AIDS news, Mariah Carey signed on to headline the Elton John AIDS Foundation's June 29th One Mighty Party. Fag favorite Carey will apparently sing six dance remixes at the Paris event. We're totally there!! In spirit, of course.

Poland's anti-gay train just keeps on chugging. A little over a week after education minister Roman Giertych called gays "revolting pederasts", state run television network TVP admitted to cutting around one minute of the popular British show, Little Britain, because it featured a gay vicar.

The snipped scene featured flamboyantly gay Daffyd (the so-called "only gay in the village) arguing with a vicar about the church's position on homosexuality, but gets a bit of a surprise when the vicar introduces - and kissed - his boyfriend. TVP flack Aneta Wrona explains the station's decision:

We decided to cut a scene which could cause controversy among Polish viewers and which isn't exactly in line with our mission as a public television channel… British viewers are more open and indulgent than their Polish counterparts. It's a different sense of humour, and one which is sometimes incomprehensible for the Polish public.

From the sound of it, Poland doesn't have a sense of humor at all.

We do, however, so we've included a Little Britain clip, after the jump. We couldn't find the contested clip, but we did find one of Daffyd meeting gay pop star, Elton John. We also dug up on of Daffyd singing a very special song…

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No doubt Elton John's European fans are shaking their faggy fists today. The gay singer's management has regrettably announced that John will not be performing in Venice, Paris, Seville, Berlin or Moscow for his "Red Piano Tour". An Elton flack released the following statement:

We regret to announce that Elton John's European 'Red Piano' shows have been canceled. The promoter has been unable to guarantee to put on the shows, resulting in us having to take this very difficult decision.

We do of course appreciate that Elton's fans will be disappointed at this news, and we are already looking into the possibility of returning to the affected cities in the very near future.

Don't worry, though: the UK shows will go on.

Elton John pulls European tour [NME]

Being rich and famous must be pretty cool.

Not only are you…well, rich and famous, but you can throw yourself extravagant birthday parties and make your friends dress like idiots, as Elton John did to celebrate Elton's 60th and artist Sam Taylor-Wood's 40th.

Apparently they wanted to have a "Cockney" themed party, thus guaranteeing them one night of dressing like the other half. Only not.

• Michael Lucas made history at this weekend's GayVN awards, taking home a record fourteen honors, including best non-sexual performance for Savannah Samson (pictured). Mazel to the tov, Savannah. Oh, and to you, too, Michael. [San Francisco Chronicle]

• If you're at all interested in pictures from the GAYVN after-party (and we know you are), then follow the link. [Tim and Roma]

• Titanic director James Cameron found Jesus (or, at least, his so-called "tomb"). [Sydney Morning Herald]

• Our world's just crumbled: Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz smoke pot. How disgraceful… [Mollygood]

• Ed Droste and the other kids from Grizzly Bear have a new video. It's totally creepy. [stereogum]

• Elton John's party netted 4.2 million bones to help fight AIDS. We threw a similar party and we made about five dollars and a bit of lint. We donated the lint and kept the $5. What? We need money, too. [365 Gay]