You know, besides the "having to work out" part.

For some gay men, the gym is part social calendar, part lifestyle requirement, and part de-stress-er. And while we love getting our regular endorphin rush, there are a number of things we absolutely detest about the gym. Or rather, gym culture.

Among them:

• Locker room cruising (though we know this to be some gym-goers primary reason for even having a membership)
• Guys who, while watching TV on the elliptical, burst out into uncontrollable laughter
• People who do not wipe the sweat off the machines or mats they use
• Ultra-tight clothing on ultra-un-fit guys; ultra-revealing clothing (you know how short those shorts are) on anybody
• Trainers, whose career is to make people fit, that are the least fit people on the floor (do not tell me to do 50 more jumping jacks when you have a double chin and a spare tire)
• Trainers who treat their clients as sounding boards for their personal problems (who's paying who here?)
• Chatty Cathys
• Anybody resembling this

Surely this little list doesn't include some of your gym pet peeves. What are they?

The winter months can be tough, readers. We know you don't have the energy or inclination to trudge to the gym. That's why we asked Billy Polson for his advice. The RealJock.com Strong and Lean 12-Week Workout program and the founder and co-owner of DIAKADI Body personal training gym, which was voted the best personal training gym in San Francisco by CitySearch in 2006 and 2007.

A competitive swimmer and triathlete in his own right, Polson has over 15 years of experience working as a coach and trainer, and was named by Men's Journal as one of the Top 100 Trainers in America in 2005. In 2006, the San Francisco Chronicle named him one of the Top 10 Trainers in the Bay Area. So, basically, Polson knows his shit.

Before we get into the groove, you should read what Polson had to say to our muscular editor (pictured)*.

Psych!

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Fitness model Matt Walch is a passionate guy. In addition to trying to develop "the most perfect body" he can, he also has ridden rodeo and fights fires when he's not getting his half-naked photo taken. It might just be all those heterosexual male archetypes rolled into one gorgeous package, but we swear some of his passion is rubbing off on us. Or maybe just rubbing one off.

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The queens over at Gay.com have ranked the top gay gyms in North America. Their list reads more like nightclubs than healthclubs. They say:

This winter, carve out time for the gym. To make it easier, head to one of these gay-popular fitness centers — where the eye candy alone is worth the schlep. These cruisy microcosms of gay society seethe with drama, locker-room lust and an all-consuming desire for better abs. And there's nothing like a little gay drama to help you shake those winter blues.

We'd expect no less from Gay.com, the place we've all gone for a quick online hook-up. But to base your gym membership on hot guys, cruisy steam rooms, and drama seems a bit shallow and superficial. Even for us. And we are really shallow and superficial!

When looking for a gym we recommend asking your friends about their gyms. Try out a spinning or yoga class in a couple different clubs. Use the pool or steam rooms and compare. Gym memberships are costly (over $100 a month in many cities) so be detailed and cautious before signing anything. Check to see if you can use their clubs in other cities while you travel and see if they offer incentives for signing up a friend.

Your health should be the biggest factor in which gym you choose. Not your sex drive. Though staying in shape can only help out with that too.

Hot nude yoga makes for a salubrious complement to your fitness program. The classes given at Aaron Star’s Hot Nude Yoga studio in Chelsea are aimed at people who, already in shape, desire both enhanced flexibility and a spiritual component to their workouts.

The popular beginner workshops provide low-pressure introductions to this increasingly fashionable step towards wellness. Those who do not reside near a hot nude yoga studio may gain knowledge of the activity through introductory DVDs. Aaron summed up the nature of hot nude yoga sessions when he answered critics by saying: “They’re just afraid I’m going to take their students away. Tantra doesn’t have any moral code. It says we’re seeking spiritual freedom on the earth, not from the earth.”

Making hot nude yoga a part of your life will open all sorts of possibilities to you. Many people enjoy combining hot nude yoga retreats with world travel; upcoming retreats will be held in Egypt, London, France and in the Himalayas. Some even opt to become certified instructors of hot nude yoga. Leave your clothes on your hang-ups at the door and have a great time!

Flabulous or abulous, which will you be? Some only worry about their abdominals as summer draws neigh; the rest can proudly lift their Roberto Cavalli astrakhan coats in a numbing cold wave to reveal abs so hot one wants to cling to them for warmth.

Peter Francis, Ph.D. of San Diego State University studied abdominal exercises to learn which are most effective. Queerty applauds his use of electromyography equipment to see how subjets’ rectus abdominus were responding to various exercises though we don’t know anybody who has achieved a killer six-pack with electromyography equipment alone.

Developing a wide-ranging repertoire of ab exercises and going for the burn on every set, by contrast, in combination with a correct diet will do the trick every time. Having an organized program with set goals can be a help; sixpacknow.com can give you a great assist. Even the Ladies’ Home Journal provides useful information on abs training to help you recover from their recipe for dark cocoa buttermilk cake with cocoa mascarpone frosting.

We know what you’re thinking. “Rowing?” But hear us out. Rowing works most of the major muscle groups. Its a terrific workout for your back, but also works your stomach muscles (yes, a six pack is only a few strokes away) and, most importantly, the glutes. That means a more sculpted butt to fit into that pair of True Religion jeans you paid too much for.

If you’re burnt out on the night scene, you can also use this opportunity to find a date. Find your closest local crew at the Gay and Lesbian Rowing Federation. The site has listings throughout the U.S. (our favorite club name: DC Strokes) and dates for regattas and crews. (One drawback: you usually have to wake up really early.)

If anything, rowing is a water sport (not that kind) so it allows for form-fitting skimpy outfits to show off your physique. There are a couple of ways to go. International Male sells the Aussie Rower that’s more show than tell. Or click to Regatta Sport. They target more professional rowers and sell traditional gear. So what are you waiting for… heave ho.

More of you gym bunnies should drop the weights and get your butts on a yoga map. It's not all about chest and biceps you know. Yoga promotes overall good physical and mental health. It also is excellent at developing that much talked about core strength. Not enough incentive for you? Then try Hot Nude Yoga. Yes, that’s exactly what it means – a room full naked sweaty men stretching and down-dogging it right in front of you.

In coming to Hot Nude Yoga and practicing Tantra Yoga, you will have the opportunity to meet other physically fit and in shape men, learn to access untapped sexual core energy, find out how to touch other men and connect with them energetically and sensually.

Sounds like a personals ad on Craigslist, right? With text like that and a web site complemented with photos that seem to have been lifted straight from a Falcon Video box cover, you might get the wrong impression. The guy who runs it, Aaron Star (not to be confused with homo god Darren Starr who blessed our lives with Carrie Bradshaw), has been teaching yoga way before it was hip. His Hot Nude Yoga studio is located in Chelsea but he has retreats all over the world.

With so many contorted naked guys around they are bound to get sweaty and smelly. The prissy fag in me will be bringing a bottle of Purell and slapping on a pair of plastic gloves just in case.