So Hopey's off to D.C. today to measure the drapes at the White House and you spent the weekend getting drunk and chanting "Yes We Did". But before you spend your day choosing a talking woodland creature to be your sidekick, here's a sobering reminder that over in joyless Mudville (aka The Family Research Council), they're already planning for 2012. Turns out there is one area that the Christian right did really well last Tuesday, and they think it could be the key to future success, according to MSNBC.

"Conservative politicians lost. Traditional values succeeded," said Tom Minnery, a vice president of Dobson's Focus on the Family. "It ought to tell them to get a clue about the importance of marriage. We were frustrated that Sen. McCain would not speak out about marriage strongly and repeatedly."

While discussion of the future of the G.O.P. is an ongoing one, social conservatives are of the opinion that the key to winning back the White House is by holding fast to social issues like "abortion, gay marriage and judges". Because it's my first day and I don't want to totally depress you off the bat, exit polls seem to indicate that this election is in fact, "a realignment" and unless evangelicals are able to appeal to a broader group than, well pissed off white folks, they'll find themselves increasingly irrelevant in our shiny rainbow-hued tomorrow.

Dr. Phil today spent his talk show discussing "gender confused children," the dangers of early hormone therapy, chatted with parents of trans children and debated Focus on the Family's right-wing perspective. Obviously these are controversial topics and you can be sure Phil's message boards are positively burning up right now. But one comment more than any other has been fueling the debate:

As a Christian, I KNOW that people are NOT born gay. God created man and woman to procreate and there is no way two women or two men can naturally procreate together. God loves all of His creation, but He also gave us free-will to make a choice and being gay is a choice. Find people who have been delivered from being gay and perhaps you may be enlightened. We have to get out of this mindset of allowing children to be what they THINK they want to be. Parents are stewards of children and are expected to raise them with morals that line up according to the Word (Holy Bible) and not according to what society accepts.

The gay folk are having a field day.

Note: Apparently some of you aren't familiar with "message boards," because there's confusion on where that quote came from - it's from some anonymous Phil viewer, not the host.

Focus On The Family sure has been busy!

In addition to "predicting" a rampantly gay America under Barack Obama, the right-wing group has launched an initiative to infiltrate public schools.

From the ever-homophobic OneNewsNow:

Focus on the Family is conducting a project in Virginia, using students to try to get the Christian perspective on homosexuality into school libraries.

Candi Cushman, the program's educational analyst, heads the project and explains that the Christian view of homosexuality is not being represented in any of the school's libraries that have been contacted thus far by the students.

"What we're seeing is [that] homosexuality is being promoted more and more in public schools, and we're noticing a direct, correlating trend that, as that happens, the Christian or faith-based viewpoint is increasingly being belittled and even openly ridiculed," she explains.

Wait, wait - this group balks at the mere mention of gay in public schools, yet thinks it can go in there and start talking about same-sex damnation. You can't have it both ways, kids!

Whoa!

We know the Log Cabin Republicans get a lot of shit from the more liberal lavender set and it probably hurts their feelings, but the group's reaction resembles that of the far-right.

Echoing language employed by the likes of Focus on the Family, LCR president Patrick Sammon today sent out an email entitled "The Intolerant Left" in which he gripes about all the homos who hate on him and his fellow Republicans.

Writes Sammon:

As we enter the election's homestretch, gay and lesbian Republicans have come under intense fire from the gay community for daring to speak our minds about this campaign. Instead of arguing the merits of their candidate, too many on the left resort to name calling.

Emotion replaces fact. Name calling replaces logic. In this case, those we often hear speaking about tolerance sound awfully intolerant. We need your help today to stand up to the voices of intolerance wherever we find them.

After writing about "the most pro-gay GOP presidential nominee in American history," John McCain, Sammon goes on to cite criticism from liberal journos like Wayne Besen and Alex Blade, all of which leads up to his desperate, sad plea:

Whatever you can contribute—$25, $50, $100, or more—will help us fight back against the divisive rhetoric from the gay left.

Angry and vicious people on the Left are trying to silence our voices because we dare to speak out as Republicans. Will you be silenced?

"Will you be silenced?" Didn't Tony Perkins use the same argument when fighting hate crime laws, which the right claims will muzzle anti-gay pastors. Just replace "Republicans" with "Christians" - it's eerie. Sammon, we implore you, don't go down that panic-inducing route. It's not becoming on you.

Read Sammon's entire letter, after the jump. Be sure to note his post-script, which is perhaps the most disturbing detail of all!

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Continuing their grand tradition of inciting sexual panic, Focus on the Family released this ad in the Colorado Tribune. They're evidently still pissed off about the state's trans-inclusive non-discrimination bill.

We can't quite make out the small print, but can see that it begins "Human decency dictates…" As if these people know anything about human decency - remember that vile radio ad claiming trans folk would prey on small children? Well, they're at it again with yet another radio ad decrying "sexual predators."

Don't Ask, Don't Tell gets fresh life today. And it's not a military matter.

A number of shareholders will tomorrow ask the board of Well Fargo to remove sexual orientation from their anti-discrimination policy. Rather than railing entirely against "gay sins," as Ken Hutcherson did against Microsoft, these clever little homophobes insist that "gay" can't be seen, like race, and therefore fagalas should just keep a lid on it:

Whereas, it is similarly inappropriate and legally problematic for employees to discuss personal sexual matters while on the job.

Whereas, unlike the issues of race, age, gender and certain physical disabilities, it would be impossible to discern a person's sexual orientation from their appearance.

Whereas, unless an employee chooses to talk about their sexual interests or activities while working, the issue of sexual orientation is, essentially, moot.
…
Whereas, the Armed Forces of the United States is one of the largest and most diverse organizations in the world. They protect the security of us all while adhering to a "don't ask, don't tell policy" regarding sexual interests.

You can be sure, of course, that the shareholders' resolution brings up a bit of Biblical reference, saying that all three major religions "condemn" gay ways.

This isn't the first time Well Fargo has felt the anti-gay backlash. Focus On The Family ended their business relations in 2005 after the bank contributed dough to GLAAD, which the Christian right basically regards as a Satanic covenant.

Barack Obama's spiritual supporters keep causing him headaches!

First, we had Donnie McClurkin, the man who nearly derailed the Senator's mega church campaign. Then came Jeremiah Wright, Obama's preacher who damned the United States and spurred that revolutionary race speech.

And now Fox's ire-inducing Sean Hannity & Alan Colmes have turned their attention to another Obama "spiritual counselor," Reverend James Meeks, a state Senator who spends his free time blasting the bent boys and girls. Obama's camp already denounced the remarks, saying:

Obama has appeared at hundreds of churches and served with scores of colleagues and can hardly be expected to be held responsible for all that they say.

While that may be true, Meeks' history will certainly propel a few news stories this week.

Catch up on all the sensational fun, after the jump…

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God bless free press, huh?

Focus on The Family's Mike Haley takes to right wing Breakaway Magazine this month to "debunk" the ever-pressing "gay myths," including the gays' nagging insistence that their relationships matter.

Myth #3: Homosexual relationships are no different than heterosexual ones. Homosexual advocates want their relationships to be treated the same as heterosexual ones, enjoying legal rights to marriage and adoption. And some gays really do love each other.

Haley deconstructs this so-called fabrication with the usual conservative tools: religious fear! Apparently our gay ways make God unhappy and to say otherwise is a "mockery of God's divine act of creation and His ordination of marriage".

Here's the PageOneQ-obtained article in handy-dandy - and a bit blurry - thumbnail form. Not safe for the easily infuriated.

Chemistry.com struck another blow against rival eHarmony. The dating sites have been at war for months now, largely because of Chemistry.com's aggressive ad campaign. A previous series questioned eHarmony's queer exclusion. Now a new round rags on eHarmony founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren's celibacy celebration:

Dr. Warren, a former seminary student who has had several books published by Focus on the Family, an evangelical Christian group, has publicly voiced his belief that premarital sex can increase the likelihood of one’s marrying the wrong person.

No way, Warren: screwing helps weed out the losers.

eHarmony, meanwhile, reiterated that they have nothing against gays. Nor are they swayed by Warren's evangelical roots. The site simply doesn't have the appropriate "psychological data" to pair same-sex couples.

Damn our bent brains!

Denver-based musician James Roy and his pals have some serious balls.

The gay activists took a tour of Focus on The Family's "Welcome" Center last weekend in hopes of starting a dialogue with the anti-gay group and its evil leader, James Dobson.

In a personal letter to Dobson, James Roy wrote about his own commitment to being a positive impact in the lives of others. "I think it benefits us to reflect on what we have in common….I am here today to take a tour to better understand you and invite you to the possibility of dialogue."

In the spirit of the nonviolent teachings of Gandhi and King, each participant left a single yellow rose for Dobson to symbolize their desire for dialogue.

Unfortunately, the kids didn't know that James Dobson sucks the life out of everything around him and used the roses to recharge his black heart. They did learn, however, that Dobson likes James Brown, a known black man. Madness!

Watch the groups video take here.

• Britney Spears loses kids. (As if you didn't see that one coming.)

• Mark Foley scandal still stinking up GOP.

• Focus on the Family activist wishes American Psychological Association would be more tolerant of ex-gay therapists.

• Cindy Adams does not appreciate foreign people coming to melting pot that is New York.

• Wow. The Spice Girls' London concert sold out in 38 seconds. Again: wow.

• Ridicule: more powerful than a nuclear bomb?

• Scottish and Mexican Anglicans want gay inclusion.

• Gay History Project growing.

Things aren't looking good for anti-gay crusaders Focus on The Family:

Focus on the Family is laying off 30 employees and reassigning 15 others, due in part to a drop in projected revenue and to growth in technology.

Most of the layoffs are in the department that answers mail and telephone requests, while the reassignments were prompted by growth in e-mail and Internet-based communications, said Gary Schneeberger, vice president of communications for the conservative Christian ministry.

Schneeberger says the group came in about $8 million short of its $150 million budget. Head honcho James Dobson says donations have fallen in recent months.

Tear, tear…