Being a Gloomy Gus gets us nowhere. Unfortunately, millions upon millions of people can't get out of their rut. While an estimated ten percent of those countless millions simply can't find a suitable dick, the majority suffer from - you guessed it - depression. Olympic diver and avowed homosexual Greg Louganis counts himself among those remaining millions.

The experience of writing his autobiographical book, Breaking The Surface weighed on his already perturbed emotions. Heeding co-author Eric Marcus' advice, Louganis headed to the headshrinker, found out the deal on 'the d-word' and enlisted as an awareness activist, "With any type of mental illness, there’s an education and an understanding that needs to take place."

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Oh, admit it. You love Mario Lopez. From his days on Kids Incorporated, through his post as the host with the most on Petstar–and who could forget "A.C. Slater" on Saved By The Bell? But it was his portrayal as Greg Louganis on Breaking The Surface that introduced America to Mario's package, like a birthday present wrapped in Speedo wrapping paper true thespian abilities. And thank God for his latest return to television: our beloved Mario landed the plum role of Dr. Christian Ramirez on The Bold And The Beautiful, where he will undoubtedly be featured often without his shirt. How we enjoy the guilty pleasures in life.

Although we hold a touch of resentment against Mario Lopez, as he beat out certain members of the Queerty editorial staff for a prized seat as host on The View's all-male knockoff The Other Half, which lasted about a minute. But what a glorious minute it would have been…chatting with Dick Clark, doing lines in the dressing room with Danny Bonaduce…ah, the grandeur. Damn you, Mario Lopez.