Filmmaker David Lynch does not endorse the cell phone. Don't believe us? Check out this video. Money quote:

…If you're playing the movie on a telephone, you will never in a trillion years experience the film. You'll think you have experienced it, but you'll be cheated. It's such a sadness that you think you've seen a film on your fucking telephone. Get real.

Word…

• We saw a line of people waiting for the iPhone. They were all playing with their soon-to-be old phones. We think they're insane, as is the rest of the country.

• Talk about a tabloid wet dream: Francesca Hilton, daugher of Zsa Zsa Gabor and Paris Hilton's late grandfather, Conrad, called Zsa Zsa's current (ninth) husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, a faggot. von Anhalt's claim to fame, besides being married to Gabor, would be his claim that he fathered Anna Nicole Smith's baby. The icing - it went down outside a court house. And TMZ got it on video. Tune in for a special peek into Paris' future. (Cue splooge.)

• Mitt Romney's a cat person:

Romney placed his family dog, an Irish setter named Seamus, into a kennel leashed to the top of his station wagon for a 12-hour family trip from Boston to Ontario in 1983. Despite being shielded by a wind screen the former Massachusetts governor erected, Seamus expressed his discomfort with a diarrhea attack.

Romney claims the dog loved riding on the roof in a swirl of liquified shit: "He scrambled up there every time we went on trips." Scrambled? More like slid.

• London Pride ain't afraid of no car bombs. The parade marches on tomorrow. With a mock Eurovision to protest anti-gay nations.

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