Taking no chances on Florida's political leaning this November, Sarah Silverman is urging Jews with Sunshine State-based grandparents to schlep down there and convince them to vote for Barack Obama. Because, as she says, blacks and elderly Jews are super similar, like the fact that they both like track suits and Cadillacs. It's a fact!

[via Funny Or Die!]

It's a sad day to be a Jew:

Why is this Passover different from all other Passovers — or at least the last 68 of them?

No Tam Tams.

It’s true. Manischewitz, which manufactures the bite-size matzos, says it has temporarily stopped making them at its plant in Newark, leaving many Jews puzzled and disappointed, and officials of the kosher food company scrambling to explain what went wrong.

And, like so many things in Hebrew history, an oven is to blame. Just terrible.

What would Michael Lucas say!

Two prominent personalities - CNN's Glenn Beck and activist Peter Tatchell - compared asylum seeking gay Iranian Mehdi Kazemi's plight to that of Nazi fleeing Jews. Watch Beck's comments above and Tatchell's after the jump.

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• Everything you've ever wanted to know about your prostrate, cowboy.

• Graham Norton doesn't see children in his future. Said the queer chatter box, "I don't think I could do children. They're hard work, and what if you fuck them up?" Oh, please! Nannies take care of the children - let them worry about fucking them up. Norton also says he wants to find his "other half".

• Georgian politicians are mulling a hate crimes revival. But will they include the gays?

• It'll be a happy new year in New Hampshire and Oregon. The states' respective civil unions and domestic partnership laws go into effect January 1st.

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Yehuda Levin takes this Hanukkah season to shed his rabbinical light on the "historical truth" of the Jewish festival of lights: it's a defeat of the Syrian-Greek's homosexual agenda.

Read the 20 Most Frightful Anti-Gay Activist honoree's ramblings, after the the jump…

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Michael Savage sure pissed off Ellen Andersen when he used to his radio show to compare lesbians to Nazi henchmen. Anderson - whose father spent time in a concentration camp - uses this impassioned, yet guilt-ridden post to protest Savage's deplorable comparison.

I recognize that Savage is being hateful to score ratings points and that the more I react to him the more he's "won." But at the same time, Savage’s reflexive invocation of Nazis and the Holocaust is dangerous.
…
Savage’s diatribe about Nazis and the Holocaust is all about: it’s verbal porn that dehumanizes its subjects—both the “lesbians” and the “oven stuffers”—for the voyeuristic pleasure of his audience.

The scariest part: about 7 million Americans voluntarily watch Savage's show.

Despite weeks of protest and legal battles, Jerusalem's gays started their gay pride parade through the holy city. Only 2,000 queers turned out for the 500 meter march, but the city sent 7,000 coppers to maintain order. And good thing, too: they detained an Orthodox man who planned on detonating a small bomb:

As the parade kicked off, a 32-year-old haredi resident of Mea She'arim was under arrest after he was caught in possession of an improvised explosive device. The suspect, who was apprehended on Jaffa Road, told police that he planned to set the bomb off in some bushes to scare people away from the parade…

A group of 500 protesters broke through protective barricades, but were stopped by police, who were later pelted with bottles and rocks. About ten other men were arrested for disrupting the fag's festivities.

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Approximately 10,000 Orthodox Jews of various sects marched through Jerusalem yesterday to protest the so-called holy city's forthcoming gay pride. Scheduled for this Thursday, Jersualem's gay pride's one of the most contentious in the world.

All three major religions attack so-called gay pride attacks on Jerusalem's "holy" history and righteous esteem.

The Haredim, however, may be losing steam of their own. Organizers projected 100,000 participants and yesterday's crumpled numbers suggest a shift in how holy men deal with the homos.

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• Paris is a pussy. The jailed heiress was on the verge of a mental breakdown, so coppers let her out of jail and gave her 45 days home detention, instead.

• Does the Bible endorse trans folk? The Advocate's Joanne Herman says, "yes": "In Matthew 19:12… Jesus describes three types of eunuchs—those “which were so born from their mothers’ womb,” those “which were made eunuchs of men,” and those “which made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.”

• AfterEllen and its readers name the 100 Hottest Women in the World. The L-Word's Leisha Hailey takes the top slot, while Catherine Deneuve brings up the rear.

• Harlow Cuadra and Joseph Kerekes, who are accused of murdering rival producer, Bryan Kocis, will remain in jail until their extradition hearing.

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If you're ever looking to take down two social groups at once, head on over to the Kavkaz Center. They've compiled this "exhaustive" list of the gay rights movement's Jewish leaders.

The editors explain:

Here is an exhaustive list proving, once and for all, that the radical homosexual movement in the United States is a Jewish movement. Jews created it and run it from top to bottom. They are pushing the perversion and degeneracy that is spreading disease, sin and sickness through America like a wildfire.

So, who are these hideous activists?

Well, there are really too many to count (you know those Jews - always multiplying!), but the list includes our old friend and ACT-UP founder, Larry Kramer, the late poet Allen Ginsberg, former Advocate publisher David Goldstein, ACT-UP co-founder and Queerty feature subject, Alan Klein, homo-politico Barney Frank and so many other homo-heebs, you're going to wish you had a silver bullet. That's how you kill a Jew, you know. That or some sort of Holocaust, which we're sure the Kavkaz Center would readily endorse.

• We have to give a huge thanks to reader Nathan, for he led us to this Marvel Comics-endorsed website where you can make your own super hero. It's fucking rad and you should go make one. Here's our first attempt: Ass Licker! And, yes, the exclamation mark's part of his name. You have to say it like that: "Ass Licker!" no matter what, even if you're whispering. His power: he licks ass, of course. We expect he'll have some friends soon. [heromachine]

• Speaking of heroes, Britney Spears apparently has three: her mama, her ex and her lawyer. We'd argue the third's the most powerful. [TMZ]

• Here's a heroic Hebrew: orthodox Rabbi Steve Greenberg. He's lent his voice to the great gay marriage debate. His argument revolves around the necessary distinction between civil matters and those of faith: "By denying the right to civil unions, states are in violation of civil rights…" [Emory]

• Yee-haw! It's time for the Gay Rodeo, y'all. [Dallas Morning News]

• Sounds like Kenneth Hill needs a trip to that there Gay Rodeo. He's getting all nostalgic for Brokeback. [QueerSighted]

• Meanwhile, Rupert Everett's hosting Sydney's Mardi Gras. Naked. Okay, not naked, but he's apparently at a loss at what to wear. Also, Also, he's got a new book out. Not sure if you've heard… [Sydney Morning Herald]

• HIV positive? Smoke weed everyday!

• Think HIV doesn't cause AIDS? You're "beyond stupid", says doctor who discovered HIV.

• Donating money to anti-gay-nup campaigns? "That's a waste", says allegedly gay Florida Governor Charlie Crist.

• Named Britney Spears? Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has some words for you.

• Looking to boost American Idol's fear factor? Hire Michael Jackson to "mentor" contestants.

• Banning Chisinau, Moldova's gay pride? That's illegal, says Supreme Court.

• Janice Dickinson on Survivor contestant turned model JP Calderon's coming out: "I just wanted to tell you how fucking proud I am of you. Coming out yesterday must be really hard, and then being on the cover of a national magazine the next day?"

• Gavin Newsom on getting it on with former campaign manager, Alex Tourk's wife, Ruby: "I want to make it clear that everything you've read is true and I'm deeply sorry about that…I hurt someone I care deeply about, Alex Tourk and his family and friends, and that is something I'm deeply sad about and sorry for".

• Editor and Publisher on FBI agent Deborah Bond's testimony on Scooter Libby's knowledge on Valerie Plame: "[Bond] described the bureau's interview with I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby on Oct. 14, 2003. Asked where he first learned of Ambassador Joe Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, he had told the FBI then — from the vice president, on or about June 12 that year, in a telephone conversation".

• Morvin Crumlish on computer generated "recommendations": "I find the idea of my bodily functions and sexuality being obsessed about by marketing professionals disturbing, but perhaps my biggest concern is that they are right".

• The Jewish Theological Seminary's study's on conservative Jew's increasingly accepting feelings on gay rabbis: "the decisions clearly raise the possibility among many that the Conservative movement has taken a move to the theological Left, further parting company from the Orthodox, and further approaching the Reform movement".

• Jennifer Hudson on being on American Idol: "…You go through this mental thing… You've been abused, misled and brainwashed to believe whatever they want you to think…I knew I had to sing my way out of it".