• NFL disses AfterElton! Prefers GLAAD fags! (Suckers!)

• Shocker: studios still won't hire gay actors!

• Run for your lives! The gay bear internet wars have begun!

• Donald Trump loves Rudy Giuliani's titties!

• John Edwards caved! Fired bloggers!

• Britney Spears can't get enough vagina! She loves it! She wishes she could lick it right now. If you had a vagina, she'd probably lick it and then say, "Damn, I love vagina"! (We can't stop exclaiming! Someone call for help!)

Showing at New York's Daniel Cooney Gallery, lesbian artist Suellen Parker's "Incurable" addresses the ubiquitous desire for perfection: the unending quest for the perfect tan, body and life. Though not necessarily the most original of concepts, the Georgia-based artist's work deserves a little recognition for its multilayered approach. Parker explains herself on her website:

The media I have chosen are significant to both the process and the meaning of the work. The characters are first formed in plasteline clay, which never dries. This allows me to continually manipulate features and forms, paralleling our bodies' constant state of change over time and our attempts to cover up, reshape, and alter our appearances. Next, a picture is a taken of the sculpture… My use of the photograph demonstrates leaves out informations about the realities of the situation and freezes that moment in time.

From there, Parker digitally implants pictures of human eyes, giving them an emotive eeriness that breathes fresh life into a tired subject.

Suellen Parker, "Having a Ball (Keep On Keeping On)" from Incurable, showing at Daniel Cooney Fine Art (511 West 25th Street, Suite 506) through March 3rd, 2007.

Men shouldn't have to worry about HPV - the virus that causes cervical cancer in women and, according to sappho-journo, Kelly Jean Cogswell, neither should she.

In a Gay City News piece entitled, "What's Really Killing Dykes", Cogswell takes a stab at the medical profession's obsession with pap smears and breast exams. Sure, some of you men may not really care about lesbian health, but even the biggest lesbian hater can't resist such wonderful prose as this:

If health providers want to be useful to the dyke community, they'll dump their tits-and-twat health care model, and focus on what really kills us. Like coronaries. And smoking… I know it's 2007, and we're supposed to pretend we're all liberated and bendy, and okay with strangers having their hands up our twats, but I'd rather let Torquemada loose on my toenails.

Cogswell goes on to say that doctors and the media make HPV out to be the baddest of the baddies, but there are plenty of other malevolent maladies:

Check out the women's mortality charts listed on the Mayo Clinic Web site, and you'll find cervical cancer isn't even mentioned.

Heart attacks kill 489,000 women in the U.S. each year. Cancers are all lumped together at the deadly number two spot with lung cancer alone knocking off 73,000 women.

Breast cancer gets a mere 40,000. It's colorectal third at 28,000, and cervical isn't even on the list. You'll die of kidney cancer first, and who ever checks for that?

We certainly don't, but we'll be sure to keep our peepers peeled.

If you're into Kelly's brand of journalism, head on over to her blog. It's totally lesbianic and totally boffo.

This story apparently broke a few months ago, but is only now making it's way into the mainstream media. It seems Venus Magazine publisher Charlene Cothran has found Jesus and realized the error of her formerly lesbianic ways. It all started back in 2004, when Cothran joined her queer comrades at Chicago's gay pride event, when she realized that she "doesn't belong" with the gays. Thus, last October, she released a statement, effectively rescinding years of lesbianism:

…I must come out of the closet again. I have recently experienced the power of change that came over me once I completely surrendered to the teachings of Jesus Christ. As a believe of the word of God, I fully accept and have always known that same-sex relationships are not what God intended for us…

With her change, Cothran said that her 13-year old magazine - one of the few for lesbians of color - will take a new, less homo-centric direction…

CONTINUED »

• Hong Kong's Obscene Articles Tribunal ruled a lesbianic poem containing the line, "I'd like to pinch your thighs" too obscene for public display. It could have been worse. It could have said, "I want to lick your wet vagina until it swallows me whole." How's that for obscene?

• A Witeck-Combs Communications and Packaged Idea study claims gays will have at least $835 billion in disposable income by 2011. Approximately half will be spent on poppers and blow jobs.

• We wonder if any of those blow jobs will involve the new New York City condoms? They're just like regular condoms only New York-ier. Or something.

• You guys worked hard today. Why not take a look at some more naked footage from Big Brother Brazil?

• Big Brother Brazil may not censor hineys, but an American Airline employee censored the word "homosexual" from The Queen. (Oh, and God, too.)

• Those scamps at The Baptist Press have taken aim at Ford for advertising in fag-mags like Out. Shit, if they didn't have the gays, they'd be belly-up by now.

Obviously we were intrigued by the headline, "Atlanta teen charged with murder in suicide attempt". How can you not wonder exactly how a girl's botched self-snuffing would end up with her being charged with taking another's life? And, the fact that we found it over at The New York Blade means there's a queer twist. Incredible!

Our demented thirst for media violence, however, was quelled as soon as we read the lead paragraph:

Louise Egan Brunstad, 16, reportedly distraught over being rejected sexually by another female student at her high school, now faces felony murder and aggravated assault charges for allegedly trying to commit suicide by crashing the Mercedes she was driving into an oncoming car and killing the mother of three driving the other vehicle.

The headlining irony collapses under such tragedy, don't you think?

Initially, police were treating the incident as a routine traffic accident. The lesbianic truth, however, came out from a series of text messages from Brunstad to a friend and her Sapphic crush saying she was going to kill herself.

Yikes. Technology strikes again, huh? Actually, it seems as if technology strikes twice in this particular case: Brunstad's so-called dyke-persona comes only from this high school crush and a MySpace survey in which she says "of course" she's kissed or hugged another girl.

Regardless, another terrible example of the closet's nasty powers.

If this were yesterday, we'd find a way to say it was "totally frightful" or something, but it's not…

• Fire Island Landmark Gutted. And, no, we're not talking about a resident. [Towleroad]

• Lezzie Mama Wins Custody Battle. Georgia will never be the same. [365 Gay]

• Havoc Likely If Church Splits, US Episcopal Leader Says. Take that Akinola and assorted cronies! [The New York Times]

• Gucci's 85-Years Old! And it still looks better than Armani. [International Herald Tribune]

• Lord help us, Britney wants to handle her own PR. (Actually, we love a good train wreck, so ignore initial plea, Lord.) [Radar]

• Just in case you still haven't gotten your fill of everyone's favorite guerilla artist, Banksy. [The Observer]

• Nine 'Don't Ask' Protesters Arrested. Now they'll never get to serve! [Greensboro Online]

• In case you haven't heard, The Science of Sleep opens today. Hipsters, Homos, and The Rest drool over Gael Garcia Bernal, continue licking Michel Gondry's ass. [Flavorpill]

• Lesbian Bible Pusher Turns Denial into an Art Form. What? You're a sinner. [Dallas Observer]

• Thank Jesus! Christian Voters Fed Up with GOP. [365 Gay]

• Paris Hilton Has Another Video. This time it's vagina free and musical. [Mollygood]

We were taking a little poke - electronic, of course - around our lady friends at AfterEllen and came across this review of Cheryl Dunye's Stranger Inside, a film that follows a young girl named Treasure Lee's journey from juvenile lock-up to a women's facility to find her mother.

While we haven't had sex with a girl in years, there's something about women on the inside that gets our blood pumping - more from fear than from arousal, but definitely a mix of both. The film marks a departure from other prison dramas both because it treats its subjects with heartfelt respect and also shed some light on the true perils of being a lesbian behind bars. What's more, the soundtrack includes prison blues music from the 1930s. Sounds good to us (for once, no pun intended).

If you're not one of those fags who resists all things lesbianic, check out the review. If you're a fag who can't stand the thought of labia-lovin'…well, grow up.

It's refreshing to have some firsts in this day and age. And doubly refreshing when they're gay firsts. Well, we can thank Chinese pop-star, Qiao Qiao for this one. Breaking away from the communist state's pervasive anti-gay politics, this young upstart has released a single called "Ai Bu Fen," which translates to "love doesn't discriminate." Fantastic! We love a good lezzie, especially when they're boundary breaking pop-stars.

Look at her: adorable! She's giving us a toothache. Hopefully, she'll be setting hearts a flutter the world over, and teaching China a thing or two…

It's the afternoon. Were we're longing for a stroll, but as we're slaves to the internet, we decided to do it digitally with a mosey on over to our friends at AfterEllen. While there, we came across this thoughtful, entertaining article by Kim Ficera.

In it, Ficera laments the replacement of tom-boy imagery by lipstick lesbians on television. She writes:

There are strong women, good role models for lesbians and future lesbians on TV now, but as Weeds' Celia Hodes made clear to her daughter, the tomboy icon of yesterday is in danger of disappearing. The lesbian icon has arrived, and she looks more like a centerfold than a centerfielder.

While it's fantastic to see gays and lesbians so predominately displayed, allowing young faglings the sexual education so powerful when coming, there's are inadvertent results.

I wonder if in our efforts to provide them with accurate information about sex and sexuality we're inadvertently depriving them of something even more valuable: wonder.

Loss of childish wonder over sex? No way! Kids - and even adults - will always wonder about sex. And if kids glean more than they did yesterday about tomorrow, then it means there will be more boundaries to push tomorrow.
This is a fantastic article. Read it.
"Don't Quote Me: The Disappearance of the Tom-Boy" [After Ellen]
Sep 7, 2006 · Link · 1 Response

Now we can recreate all our favorite scenes from The L Word with these new custom-made Dyke Dolls. Several lezzie stereotypes are represented, meaning that they are good for hours of imaginative play. So there aren't really any that look like Shane or Carmen; at least their faces are kind of sour like they're in a fight.

Genia at SistersTalk describes them as a "Ken with breasts," but these dolls have much bigger arms and could definitely give Ken the beat-down if provoked.

DYKEdolls [Official Site via SistersTalk]

Let's not be confused: readers of European lesbian magazine Diva do not want to date or court Angelina Jolie and the nine other women on their top ten list.

They want them for one reason alone, so let's picture this: Jodie Foster, Queen Latifah, Sharon Stone, and Angelina Jolie all waiting in the boudoir to fulfill what could be the strangest combination of lesbian fantasies ever recorded in one reader poll.

Angelina is Tops with Lesbians [Ananova]
Diva readers gone wild for Angelina [Diva Official Site]

In an interview on Nerve.com, Zulema offers up the "reality-TV sucks" perspective typical of past contestants–but then spills the beans on her love life:

You never talked about your husband on the show.
My wife. I did talk about her, they just chose not to air it.

They make you out to be this fabulous straight, single woman.
I know. The people who [the producers of the show] want to look good will look fabulous even though they're monsters. People who say almost nothing can be made to look like the devil. With reality shows, there's a script.

But is there a general rule on not talking about family, ex-boyfriends or sexual experiences?
No, because did you know I was gay or married?

No.
They air what they want to air. There are no general rules.

Although now it makes sense. Why are we so surprised? There must have been a sun flare or something, our gaydar was off. She doesn't mention anything in her MySpace profile. We're thrilled she's happily married, however, and wish the lovely couple all the best. We are dying to find out more about her other half: Fem-bot? Uber-dyke? Who would Zulema marry?

Zuzu The Amazon [Nerve]

The Boston Park Plaza Hotel makes for a most comfortable stay in the hub of New England in any case, but gays have a compelling reason to patronize Bonfire, Todd English’s Argentinean Steakhouse restaurant within. Executive Chef Jenny Cates is an out lesbian.

Jenny Cates' sexuality is of course secondary to her talents as a chef, yet in the upper echelons of the profession there are so few professionals out that showing support to the rare ones who are seems in order.

Queerty would never steer you wrong in a steakhouse. Bonfire deserves the high praise it has received. Cocktails here show the South American influence; you might start with a refreshing caiparinha, the Brazilian national drink. The crab cake appetizer is served with cumin corn silk, pickled cabbage and tortilla hay. The 16 oz. Dry Aged Ribeye may be ordered with a heavenly brown butter béarnaise sauce. Also of interest is Bonfire’s taqueria and tapas menu. And that steak is served bone in.