Because we're all marginally interested in the ever-changing sexuality of recovering former Disney girl (read: out of control druggie nympho) Lindsay Lohan, we're sharing news that LiLo may not in fact be gay after having a spat with her girlfriend, DJ Sam Ronson.

Someone should tell her that having fights with your girlfriend is sort of what lesbians do. In this gripping account, complete with ironic air quotes, by News of the World's Dan Wooten, we learn that:

"It was during a heated bitch fight with DJ Sam this week that Lilo confided in me that the relationship wasn’t working out.

As her “girlfriend” glared at her from across the VIP area of London’ s Dolce club, LiLo leaned in and whispered to me: “Things are very difficult at the moment. I’m just trying to work out what to do.”

It followed angry Sam ordering burly security men to clear out the area near Lindsay after lots of guys started to flock around her.

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So, what do sleazy Hollywood dad Michael Lohan and sleazy Girls Gone Wild honcho Joe Francis have in common?

Well, yes, they're both sleazy - that's obvious - but there's more than just that: both men hate DJ Sam Ronson, Lindsay Lohan's lesbian girlfriend.

Mr. Lohan lashed out at Ronson earlier this year, calling her "hideous" and taking on her hygiene habits. Francis doesn't care about Ronson's cleanliness, but does have some less than kind words for the 31-year old, whom he describes as "very jealous:" "Samantha tried to start a fight with me. I care about Lindsay - she's not gay. She's being controlled by this…wretched woman, this Samantha."

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Lindsay Lohan's Ugly Betty gig sounds like a sequel to Mean Girls.

The gossip mongers over at Page Six say the actress' appearances have been cut because she and Ugly star America Ferrara simply couldn't stand one another and Lohan was generally just a self-obsessed pain in the ass.

It got so ugly on the set of Ugly Betty between Lindsay Lohan and the popular ABC show's star, America Ferrera, that Lohan was cut from an agreed-upon six episodes to four.

One production source said, "It was a mess. Lindsay would show up every day with an entourage of people. She smoked 24/7, and after she left, they had to repaint her dressing room it was such a mess."

In addition, Lohan "would obsessively cut pictures of herself out of the tabloids like she was creating some sort of scrapbook and refused to go on set until America was there - it was a power play."

A big mouth source also claims that Ferrara, while rehearsing a scene in which she pulls down Lohan's pants, went all the way and revealed the star's uncovered vagina. A Lohan pal insists that's not true, offering this hilarious defense: "Lindsay wears underwear all the time now. She was wearing a G-string. And it was America's fault." Boo-hoo.

Poor Lindsay Lohan. The paps may love her, but the Sapphic-seeming actress can't catch a break with her fellow celebrities, including the far less fabulous Chace Crawford:

…As super-pregnant M.I.A. performed at the Diesel XXX party in Dumbo, Lindsay Lohan desperately tried to get the attention of Chace Crawford. Lohan, who launched her 6126 line at Henri Bendel last night, pulled on the "Gossip Girl" boy's shirt and grabbed his shoulder, but "Crawford was more interested in talking with Taylor Momsen," our spy said.

Lohan got dissed again at Madonna's Madison Square Garden show Sunday when Madge gave Kelly Ripa her mike during her rendition of "Give It to Me" instead of to the rehabbed starlet, who was standing next to Ripa in the front row.

At least Lilo's always got Sam Ronson, right?

There's been a lot of talk about "fauxomosexuals" as of late, largely thanks to that singer Katy "Ur So Gay" Perry and her terrible song, "I Kissed a Girl." Yeah, girl, come back when you've licked one.

Anyway, Richard Lawson of Gawker fame today brought the topic up, linking to an article in which Australian journalist Matt Bachl talks with Tim Duggan, a man who claims ladies who "play gay" or otherwise pull the wool are "doing more damage than good." Bill O'Reilly would disagree, we're sure.

Bachl was liked turned on to Duggan's take after reading the his piece "The Danger of Fauxmosexuality" in the Sydney Morning Herald. "DAnger" revolves largely around Perry, a former holy roller who Duggan says took on a queer-ish identity simply to sell records. Obviously.

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Lindsay Lohan's "lesbian" love affair with Sam Ronson dominates the cover of OK! magazine this week. And, of course, Lohan's "friends" have loads to say. The actress does not:

“This is the first healthy relationship Lindsay has ever had,” a pal of the Georgia Rule star tells OK!. “Both Lindsay and Samantha have total mutual respect and love for each other. All the nonsense Lindsay’s had in past relationships – the crazy fights, cheating and general immaturity – is totally absent. This is the real thing.”

While Lindsay's rep, Leslie Sloan Zelnick, asserts that “there was no confession" of a romantic relationship, close pals of the couple confirm that they are serious.

“Samantha and Lindsay have been ‘out’ to friends for a few months now,” a source close to the pair tells OK!.

The funny thing about this whole "friends" thing is that we haven't seen Lohan with anyone but Ronson for - well, a long time. Does this girl even know anyone else?

Realizing it had been a while since he last caused trouble, evil Hollywood father Michael Lohan last weekend wrote a letter again taking on his daughter Lindsay's lesbian girlfriend, Sam Ronson.

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