Insatiable journalist Liz Smith offers potential first lady Michelle Obama some outdated advice:

Feminists will put a contract out on me and I NEVER thought I’d say this but it would be relaxing if she acted like being First Lady in the traditional sense was the first order of business. Devote herself to the arts or something like that. But stay out of politics, religion, and not offer the strong-minded opinions that have gotten her and him in so much trouble… I have always wanted First Ladies to be so much more than they ever are, but in her case, I just want her to be adorable.

At least Smith knows she's saying the wrong thing, right?

Omnisexual, real breast-preferring Liz Smith's got our backs.

The journalist and her gal pals over at estrogen-fueled blog Wowowow today discussed gay rights in America. And, in an argument we find valid - and flawed - Smith, Candice Bergen and Lesley Stahl discuss how the States' death row inmates can marry, but gays still face restrictions.

Here's Smith's titular line, "It’s just an interesting thing that gays don’t have the same rights as people on death row."

That's definitely interesting - and noteworthy - argument, but the gals seem to forget that prisoners in some states can't vote, while gay people can. If anything, this pink v. prisoner comparison shows the vast flaws in America's democratic system. But that's just our opinion.

CONTINUED »

We're a bit disappointed in Liz Smith.

The omnisexual once joked that she had slept with scads of people, but now we find out she's only bagged a scant twenty!

…In a long lifetime I’d have to divide it about equally between men and women so I would say, half and half – about 20 people.

And I’m not bragging. I was married to two of them and I was deep into serial monogamy with some of the others. None of it worked out to my total satisfaction, but some of it was a helluva lot of fun.

It's quality over quantity for this bird!

Omnisexual gossip Liz Smith's rapidly becoming our favorite free sex stalwart. The 85-year old, who likes when we poke her, penned a column this week in which she gets up close and personal with Nicole Kidman's chest, which some say have been inflated.

And Smith does not approve:

I admire a fine belle poitrine as much as anyone, but I can’t stand these added-on half grapefruits that look as unnatural as can be. I have known Nicole for a long time now and her natural assets were quite good enough to start with.

Ya hear that, ladies!? Smith likes you just the way you are, so don't go getting any implants, which, we think, are super tacky - and that should be reason enough.

The Internet's digital 'gina just quivered. Ladies such as Whoopi Goldberg, Peggy Noonan and Candice Bergen joined forces to launch a new Estrogen-driven website, wowOwow.

CEO Joni Evans, Vogue's Joan Juliet Buck and business lady Mary Wells inaugurated the site today with a very revealing - and just as disturbing - tag team with omnisexual gossip monger Liz Smith:

MARY: Do you think there are lots of people out there that you would be attracted to? I know I’m not attracted to lots and lots.

LIZ: No, I’m not either. And I’m always very amused — being rather “gender indifferent” as I have been — that people always assume if they see me with some woman, that I’m automatically interested in jumping on her. I always think that’s hilarious.

JONI: I just realized, Liz, that you have doubled your chances to have a good time!

JOAN: I love the description, “gender indifferent.”

LIZ: I don’t care what people call me, but I never liked to identify myself as one way or another because I always felt I might be cutting off one of my options.

JONI: I’ve heard you say many times from the podium, “You know, I’ve slept with everyone in this room!”

Excuse us while we revive our libido…

• Who would have thought that an iPod jacket actually could turn out to be somewhat fashionable? [Gizmodo]

• Liz Smith blackmailed Rock Hudson's blackmailer. This is why you never mess with a dirt-filled gossip queen. [NY Post]

• The Arizona tourist board is targeting people who have plenty of spending money: us queers. [USA Today]

• Colorado will have voters decide on domestic partnerships by the end of this year. It ain't marriage, but we'll take it if we can get it. [Denver Post]

• Michael Jackson is interviewing for a job and it isn't at a day care center. [Forbes]

• HBO keeps their queer programming coming. You don't get much gayer than Rosie O'Donnell on a gay cruise. [UPI]