American singer Regina Richards recorded this song, "Baby Love," after Madonna passed on it…

Everyone, listen up!

This is a warning: if you see a lactating Demi Moore coming your way, you must either run or prepare to get wet.

Christopher Ciccone, brother of Madonna and lover of the media teet, claims the acclaimed actress once shot her breast milk at him and his lesbian friends at a party.

His lawyers, however, wouldn't let him include that unverifiable (bullshit?) tale in his recent tell-all:

There are certain stories that don't end the way that they end in the book. It’s not really family stuff. It’s more like - well there’s a bit in the book about Demi Moore and I dancing on the bar.

She’'s dancing up on me and humping me from behind. The one part that’s not in the book is that she was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends.

"My friend Michelle called me the next morning and asked me, “How do I get breast milk out of my black dress?” and I said “How the fuck would I know? Call Demi.'

"It was hysterical. There are no pictures of it, but it actually happened. The lawyers didn't think it was wise for me to print that — so there'’s your juicy tidbit.

Hmmm, it's a bit more creamy, than juicy, but it sure quenches our thirst!

While we're on the subject of beating dead horses…

John McCain's campaign released yet another statement about Madonna's ill-fitting comparison between their candidate and Adolf Hitler.

Said spokesperson Taylor Griffin:

It's a disappointing and vulgar attack on John McCain, who has devoted his life to the cause of freedom and the fight against tyranny. But, it's not surprising that Barack Obama and his fellow celebrities stick together.

Oy. We thought that moment had passed. Or is it past? Regardless - while a clever jab, Griffin, you're so early August!

Madonna kicked off her Sticky and Sweet world tour over the weekend, and, as expected, the show was filled with crotch shots and ill-advised outfit choices.
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John McCain sure won't be seeing any of Madonna's Sticky & Sweet Tour, which began with a bang this weekend.

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Whoa! We knew Christopher Ciccone and sister Madonna were once close, but Ciccone, who recently released a tell-all book about the singer, takes to the blogosphere to dispense some information that's definitely too much: when Madge used to have problems with her voice, she would call a man named Johnny and such his "snake," says Ciccone. Then, when she was done, her brother would have a go.

Here's a - cough, cough - taste:

After our eyes glue to Johnny’s huge snake, Madonna and I look at each other in amazement. I immediately rush over to it as my mouth waters.

“Sorry,” Madonna says and pushes me away. She then gulps Johnny’s snake like it’s some type of watermelon. Johnny sits down on a chair and I feel a little bit left out until he informs me to take off my clothes. I feel uncomfortable getting naked in front of my sister, but Madonna is so preoccupied that she barely notices.

“Come here!” Johnny says and I walk towards him. Johnny then proceeds to suck my snake like it’s a watermelon and both of us are moaning in harmony. At least it’s more harmonious than Madonna’s singing throughout the day. Suddenly, Johnny’s moans become louder until I can hear Madonna make gulping noises. Johnny doesn’t swallow, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother me. Right after Johnny leaves, Madonna proceeds to sing and she sounds wonderful.

Wait, wait - don't you bite into watermelon, not suck?!

Still following Madge brother Chris Ciccone's lengthy press tour? Well, we are, so suffer with us, will you?

After hitting up Good Morning America and Chelsea Lately to promote a tell-all about his singer sister, Ciccone now sits down - or, rather, has sat down - with the barely-there Page Six Magazine.

If you're like us, you want to go straight to the end, so here it is, as told by a press release:

[Ciccone] knows the book won’t bring them closer together, and she’ll probably be furious. Christopher, however, is optimistic. “Look, I don’t think the book is going to make us closer at this point,” he says. “But when she reads it and finds out what I was going through and who I am as a person… well, I just don’t think anything bad can come of that.”

"When she reads it?" Oh, you dear, dear boy…

Read the press release after the jump, if you dare…

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Chelsea Lately invited Madonna’s “short and paunchy” brother, Chris Ciccone, onto her show last night and immediately started the interview by asking, “Why did you throw your sister under a bus?”

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Violent celebrity Naomi Campbell is in the middle of a guest editing stint at Britain’s Mirror, and she’s using her soapbox to take a shot at scandal-laden celebrity Madonna — over Kabbalah.

Who discovered it first? Who’s knows what it’s really about? Why do we care so much?!

Time to put on the boxing gloves, ladies!

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Who needs to concern themselves with the A-Rod scandal when you've got an eight minute Eddie Amodor House Lovers Remix of "Give It 2 Me"? [via OLL]