Those of you wondering why Mario Lopez can't find a date, look no further.
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We have a confession to make. You know MVP, the cliché ridden Soapnet series? Well, we're already total fans.

Yes, it's terribly overacted, trite and a blatantly low budget imitation of Footballer's Wives, but those faults make it all the more fun. What's more, it's positively brimming with attractive men. Thus, like other series before it, MVP seems poised to become a gay favorite.

This got us thinking - what are some other gay favorites that aren't necessarily "gay shows?" Thus, we've wracked our television loving brains - and pink pals - for currently airing series the gays love - or could, at least. Our one rule: no major gay characters, which very nearly ruled out ABC.

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Oh no! It seems Mario Lopez's twisted world of lies has come crashing down:

Recently named to a magazine's hot bachelor list, Mario was asked during the accompanying interview if he "manscapes," which means removing excess body hair via waxing, shaving, laser or plucking. He responded, "Not at all. That's the Latin Indian blood in me. My Dad has a hairy chest, but I don't."

So how come he has a hairy chest in this 2003 photo… and a bare one in a more recent one?

Whatever. There are, like, three hairs on his tits in the picture on the left. Maybe they just fell out. Or, possibly, Lopez is a narcissistic monster who won't stop until the entire world wants to rub up on his smooth, seamless chest.

Someone call heaven, we need Robert Stack stat!

The war between A Chorus Line costars Mario Lopez and Nick Adams continues!

We all know that Lopez stopped Adams' biceps from stealing the show, but apparently the former Saved By The Bell actor can't control everything.

Underwear company 2(x)ist had been considering Lopez for an upcoming ad campaign, however the younger Adams landed the gig.

"Mario was originally No. 1 on our radar as we planned the campaign," said an insider. "We were ready to call him with an offer, but then we saw Nick. He's younger, sexy, more interesting. On top of that, his body was crazy. We set up a meeting, and when he walked in, that was it. We never even looked at anyone else after that."

Jason Scarlatti, 2(x)ist's creative director, gave final approval. He told us, "Nick's very masculine, sexy, modern. It's totally all about his body. Mario is a good-looking guy, but Nick had it. He's up and coming, the new face of sexy. He's original. He's hot."

So hot, in fact, that we featured him on Morning Goods just this week!

The aforementioned ad, meanwhile, will debut in Out's August issue.

People say we gays are vain, but we don't know anyone quite like straight man Mario Lopez.

The actor, who recently began playing lead choreographer Zach in Broadway's A Chorus Line, reportedly wants to be the biggest muscle man in the show - and he's making demands to ensure he faces no challengers:

[Lopez] refused to wear Zach's costume, a tan sweater with long sleeves.

It's an iconic outfit, based on that worn in real life by A Chorus Line creator Michael Bennett, and it's been worn by countless Zachs… for the past 30 years.

But "Flex" Lopez wanted to wear a brown shirt with short sleeves so that he could show off his biceps.
…
The only trouble is, Flex is sharing the stage with a pair of biceps larger than his. They belong to Nick Adams, who plays Larry, the assistant choreographer.

Larry's iconic costume is a navy blue tank top with the number 17 on it… Flex, sources say, was concerned that Adams' biceps would upstage his, so he requested that Adams wear a hoodie over his tank top, which Adams does whenever he's next to Flex.

We're not that shocked to hear all this - someone as pretty as Lopez is sure to have a complex. We are surprised, however, that he has the nerve to request such changes. His biceps must not be the only big thing on him…

We'd be lying if we said we didn't love Dancing With The Stars, the show where not so A-List stars flit about with professional dancers for the ultimate Hollywood title. Alright, maybe "ultimate" is a stretch, but whatever.

Last night marked the beginning of season three. For this go-round, we get a chance to see folk such as Vivica A. Fox, Jerry Springer, Joey Lawrence, and our boy Mario Lopez shake what their mama's gave them. While obviously we love Lopez, we're quite taken with football player Emmitt Smith (pictured with partner, Cheryl Burke). So big in the bod and so light on his feet. Swoon… While we've always had a guilty crush on conservative pundit, Tucker Carlson, we can't help but wag our finger at his red-faced, half-assed effort. Shame on you, Tucker!

We know our readers, and we know you watched, too. So, tell us, who are you cheering on? There's no shame…okay, well, maybe a little.

There was always an unidentifiable tension on Saved By the Bell that kept us coming back for more, and finally someone has pieced it together for us in one coherent video. Set to the music from Brokeback Mountain, Zach and Slater's love for one another is highlighted in the most touching way. We know it's a joke, but we got a little choked up watching it anyway, maybe just out of nostalgia for being thirteen. Hmm… Except being thirteen totally sucked. That can't be it. [via ELH]

Oh, admit it. You love Mario Lopez. From his days on Kids Incorporated, through his post as the host with the most on Petstar–and who could forget "A.C. Slater" on Saved By The Bell? But it was his portrayal as Greg Louganis on Breaking The Surface that introduced America to Mario's package, like a birthday present wrapped in Speedo wrapping paper true thespian abilities. And thank God for his latest return to television: our beloved Mario landed the plum role of Dr. Christian Ramirez on The Bold And The Beautiful, where he will undoubtedly be featured often without his shirt. How we enjoy the guilty pleasures in life.

Although we hold a touch of resentment against Mario Lopez, as he beat out certain members of the Queerty editorial staff for a prized seat as host on The View's all-male knockoff The Other Half, which lasted about a minute. But what a glorious minute it would have been…chatting with Dick Clark, doing lines in the dressing room with Danny Bonaduce…ah, the grandeur. Damn you, Mario Lopez.

Mario Lopez, where have you been? Mario is returning to TV, with a role in The Bold And The Beautiful, and this guy couldn't be happier. All it takes for the rest of us is the view of those abs, and we're happy too. Good Morning!

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