Probably Won't Be Getting It From Martha

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Talk about a queen!

Unemployed entertainer Rosie O'Donnell paid Martha Stewart a visit today and took the opportunity to remind the world that she's in need of a job.

Joshing with Stewart, O'Donnell asked for a gig on the domestic diva's talk show. When Stewart said O'Donnell's too expensive, Rosie not only pulled the "I visited you in the clink" card, she offered to work for "The View rates". Martha sort of laughed it off and tried to move on with their segment, but tenacious Rosie simply wouldn't quit.

Apparently O'Donnell still isn't over getting squeezed out of her old gig.

Poor girl.

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William Shatner may go gay. [WOW Report]

• Even in the world of dorks, The Gays are not fairly treated. [Gay.com]

Donald Trump has fired back at Martha Stewart. [A Socialite’s Life]

• Get ready to go to Berlin this summer. The Love Parade is returning. [BBC]

• We just fell in love. Again. [Made In Brazil]

roberta

Queerty contributor Conor McGill got his hands on the new best of set by Roberta Flack and sent us in this report.

For over 35 years (which is in no way the real age of Bradford Shellhammer), soul legend Roberta Flack has dazzled the masses with her unique voice and trademark songs that not only tear at the heartstrings, but will get stuck in your head for days. Whether you're a Roberta novice or you consider her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Mecca, you can find 17 of her all-time best songs in one place as Atlantic & Rhino Records has just released The Very Best of Roberta Flack.

You'll instantly recognize the opening track, "Killing Me Softly With His Song," which, in comparison to The Fugees' effort, is far superior. But it's her duets that really show why she is such an icon. "Where Is The Love" and "The Closer I Get To You" with Donny Hathaway are timeless – and make great karaoke fare. Her outing with Peabo Bryson, her long-time collaborator, on "Tonight I Celebrate My Love" is a prom and tacky North Baltimore wedding staple. The crown jewel on this collection, however, is "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face." Soft, understated, yet powerfully moving, Flack proves why she holds court with Aretha, Diana, Anita, and Whitney. Plus, she's gay friendly! Well, at least by default – she'll be on Martha on March 21st. Set your dvrs accordingly. And don't lie- we all know you will be belting out "Set The Night To Music" this weekend at karaoke. Well, at least I will…until Bradford steals my microphone.

The Very Best Of Roberta Flack [Rhino Records]

alan cumming

Alan Cumming is an actor who seems to have done it all: won a Tony, played an X-Man, written and directed. The multitalented Cumming recently answered some of Bradford Shellhammer’s questions about The L Word, the Threepenny Opera, and his fragrance line.

We cannot wait to catch you, Cyndi Lauper, and Nellie McKay in the Threepenny Opera. What you can you say about the production?
Right now not very much because I haven't started rehearsals. But I'm nonetheless very excited. I did a workshop about a year ago so it has been really great to feel that I can actually get through it! Also it's meant that in the last year ideas, the songs and parts of the character have been floating around in my mind. The biggest revelation about the workshop was discovering that Macheath is a sex addict. Who knew?

Tell us about your fragrance. What made you launch it?
It was really one of these crazy things that tend to happen to me! My friends Jason Schell & Christopher Brosius and I sort of all came up with the idea over a period of time and eventually we had one of these Judy/Mickey moments and said "Let's make the fragrance right here!" Christopher is a genius and I had worn various fragrances of his for years and Jason had these really fantastic ideas about how to market the fragrance. For me it has been real fun to provoke and subvert the whole notion of celebrity endorsement and at the same time have products that I really enjoy and am proud to add my name to. We now have 5 things–the fragrance, the cleanser [Cumming Clean], the body scrub [Cumming Off Buff], the body lotion [Cumming All Over], and the soap [Cumming in a Bar], all available at Cumming The Fragrance.

It's such a hilarious thing for me when every time I wash my hands the soap has my name on it. I'm also using it to help charities that I believe in. We're starting a program whereby each month we'll give a hefty percentage of our online sales to charity.

You are on the new season of The L Word. What character do you play?
I play a character called Billie Blaikie who comes into the series to run The Planet and generally spice things up. I had never seen the show before I shot my episodes, but I talked to the producers about the character and thought it sounded fun. The one thing I was adamant about was that I would have sex with a lesbian on the show. I think it's really good to mix things up a bit and to challenge people's perceptions about the ways sexuality is pigeonholed. So the idea of a bisexual man having sex with a lesbian was right up my alley. However, the type of sex I ended up having was a little more than I bargained for. It was the most graphic sex scene I have ever done. But I had great fun with all the girls and I got to have a different hairstyle and colour in each episode.

After the jump Alan explains why he wants to be the queer Martha Stewart.

CONTINUED »

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We fell in love with Alexis Stewart the minute we saw her on Martha Stewart: The Apprentice. She’s got her mother’s beauty and strength and is unafraid to say “whatever” is on her mind. Recently, Alexis hooked up with Bradford Shellhammer and told us about The Apprentice, her Sirius radio show, and that time when Martha washed a Mercedes with Comet.

Hi Alexis. Tell us how you got involved in with Sirius Radio and your show “Whatever?”
At the urging of MSLO's Board Chairman Charles Koppelman, it was in the back of my mind for a few months before I met Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, Charles' daughter. We became instant friends and the dynamic between us seemed perfect for "Whatever." With the launch of the Martha Stewart Living Sirius Channel 112, we had the perfect place to give all those Martha fans a laugh or two and a bit of irreverence during the middle of the day.

You mentioned on your show that you've experimented with lesbianism. How was it?
As many homosexuals like to say, your preference is not a choice - I happen to be hetero…

You realize that every gay man in the country envies you. They all wish they were Martha Stewart's daughters. Can you explain The Gays love for your mom?
Many gay men seem to be more creative than most men in general, and they love a strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman…so I guess the combo of sexy and competent, strong and creative really appeals to "The Gays".

After the jump Alexis discusses The Apprentice and her love of KMart.

CONTINUED »

Marcela Valladolid

On Friday we chatted with Ryan Danz, the hottie from Martha Stewart: The Apprentice. Today, Bradford shares his interview with the spitfire Marcela Valladolid, Queerty’s other favorite from the show.

You were the cutest thing on TV this fall. No joke. Have you always been this adorable?
Is this really a question? If it is, thank you so much, but no. I’ve attached a picture of my husband and I when we were 15 and I was his date for some junior high dance. Please check out the unibrow and the metal mouth. And can you tell I’m wearing padded boobies? Ha. That picture was my wedding invitation. You can’t say I don’t have balls.

What was Martha really like?
You either love or hate Martha. I still love her. I think very few people know her well enough to be able to judge her. My dad always says you need at least 15 years to really get to know someone. What I love about her is that she has an incredible presence. The vibe changes when she comes into a room. I respect and admire that her hard work and determination have led to her becoming this empire. She is determined and head strong and unwilling to be swayed by others criticism or opinions even. And you know what? She WAS really nice to me.

So dish. Who did you love? Who did you not love so much?
Who did I love? Ryan saved my life in there. He’s just normal. A lot of the people in the loft were, well, strange. I think I summed it all up when I said, “this competition is not for me.” Some of these guys had the knife ready and couldn’t wait to stab you in the back. A couple of people REALLY enjoyed the Conference Room! I didn’t really dislike anybody.

We had the biggest crush on Ryan. How did you manage to keep your hands off him?
Well, I love Ryan, but he’s just not my type. As much as I always tried and dated about 10,000 guys before I got married, I could never stop thinking about my latin-lovin’-rodeo-riding-sexy-as-hell husband. Ryan is someone I’ll be a friend for life with.

After the jump Marcela talks about her upcoming projects and her gay fans.

CONTINUED »

ryan danz

Ryan Danz was the sexy, funny, and lovable contestant on this year’s Martha Stewart: The Apprentice. He recently caught up with Bradford Shellhammer and chatted about Martha hitting on him, who should have won, and his love for The Gays. We'll have a Q&A with his castmate Marcela on Monday.

Hi Ryan. How were your holidays?
The Holidays are still taking place, I think I'm on night 4 of Chanukah. I spent Xmas with Howie (from the show) and our wives. We were so exhausted from the finale, the after party, and the after-after party that we just decided to marinate at his place in NJ and go out to dinner in the city (NYC).

Lets talk Martha. How much do we love her?
We love Martha. Although we don’t love her comments about the cast in Business Week, but she has always been very kind to me. She even made a point on national TV to tell both me and Marcela that we were the most attractive of the contestants. Which really doesn’t have much relevance, but it’s always nice to hear. I wasn’t sure, but it felt like her foot was rubbing against my leg when she was saying that. I should have followed up with that one.

Seriously, do you read Martha's magazines and books?
I don’t read Martha's magazines. I did however read her rules for business. Some were right on the mark, some were rather obvious: to be a great leader you must have great leadership qualities. I thought 'hmm…you don’t say???'

At first we were shocked that a straight man would want to work at MSLO. What motivated you?
I wasn’t shocked at all. I didn’t see this as working at MSLO, I saw this as working next to one of the most powerful business PEOPLE in the world. Learning and sponging as much information as I could. I was motivated just based on the simple fact that never again in my lifetime will I have an opportunity to study and learn at the proverbial feet of the master.

After the jump Ryan talks about his gay fanbase.

CONTINUED »

• Spokane has a new mayor since ousting James West from office. No word yet on the new guy's online chat room habits. [The Olympian]

Martha Stewart fires one last contestant tonight. You must watch because this is the show's last episode. Ever. [The Apprentice: Martha Stewart Offical Site]

Martha Stewart

• Speaking of finales, if you missed last night's Nip/Tuck and want to find out the identity of the Carver, just click the link. All we'll say is "ew." [Zap2it]

• Some people just refuse to let the whole Ford thing die. [Good As You]

• Hot on the heels of the gay civil union ceremonies in the UK this week, Aussies are asking for "marriages" of their own. [Sydney Morning Herald]

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Yesterday we brought you the gayest music of the past year. This time we answer the question "What straights were So Gay in 2005?" Here are our picks. We’re going to refrain from making any Kenny Chesney jokes. Oops, too late!

5. Martha Stewart. The persnickety domestic goddess we all secretly want to be more like had a rollercoaster year. After being locked up with a bunch of female prisoners (we just know she had a bitch of her own behind bars), she busted out bigger than ever. Sure her short-lived version of The Apprentice had a lame catchphrase, but we still watched every week.

4. Sharon Stone. Out magazine slapped her on its list of the 100 most noteworthy gay and straight allies for the year. But it wasn’t her short dykey ‘do that got her on that list or ours. It's her love for The Gays. She’s been a strong supporter of both gay rights and AIDS research as the Chair of amfAR. Next up for Ms. Stone: reprising her role as bi femme fatale in Basic Instinct 2. We can’t wait.

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3. Gavin Newsom. We know that it was last year that San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed gays to marry in his city, but he makes our 2005 list because he continues to be an incredibly outspoken proponent of gay rights. Just this month he pulled out as honorary co-chairman of a benefit for a Tennesse congressman who voted in favor of a ban on same-sex marriage. Take that right wingers.

2. Kanye West. This year superstar Kanye West had the balls to stand up against homophobic lyrics in hip hop. Not something that happens often (if at all) in the music world, where artists like Eminem take cheap shots at the gay community as often as they can. Not only did he not lose any cred, he gained a hell of a lot more respect from everyone, mostly from us gays.

Our number one het for 2005 after the jump.

CONTINUED »

alexis

Alexis Stewart is our favorite thing about Martha’s Apprentice. And we like her even more now that she admits to dyke flings and doing her mother’s cameramen. Via Jossip.

Chelsea Gay? We’ve been called that for years.

• One of our favorite performers, German songstress Billie Ray Martin, is channeling Liza and performing two songs from Cabaret this Monday night at Slappers Club. If in London do not miss this show.

Bob Smith, the first openly gay comic to appear on The Tonight Show and have his own HBO special will be joining Adam Sank this Sunday night at Therapy in NYC. Have a few laughs and cruise guys at the same time.

Out has an interview with America’s Next Top Model Kim Stolz and she reads Miss J and Bre. Fierce.

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Style Network star Brini Maxwell is preparing a Christmas show that is playing for one night only this coming Sunday in New York. The performer who has been called “Florence Henderson with a Y chromosome” recently caught up with Bradford Shellhammer, discussing Martha Stewart, Jonathan Adler, and what all gays need this holiday season.

What exactly is A Very Brini Christmas and what can we expect from your upcoming show?

It's a warm, nostalgic look at the holiday season, with gentle humor and delightful music.

What new projects are you working on?

I have a few things up my sleeve, but nothing I can talk about at the moment. You can see the episodes of my second season, now airing on the Style Network on Fridays at 2:30pm and my new book: Brini Maxwell's Guide to Gracious Living is available everywhere - including the show at the Cutting Room.

What are five things every good gay needs to have this holiday season?

Good cheer, good friends, good will, good taste, and good recuperative skills.

More Brini after the jump.

CONTINUED »

• A lover’s quarrel between two gay men turned deadly yesterday when one of the men stopped his car on Manhattan’s George Washington Bridge and dived headfirst into the Hudson. He died shortly after. Via Jordy.

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• After speaking about the Thanksgiving meals of troops in Iraq, which includes pies, ice cream, and fruitcakes CNN anchor Rick Sanchez said “do you know the official military policy on fruitcake? … Don't ask, don't tell!" So not funny.

• When speaking about a Christian woman murdered by a gay man Kathy Valente, state director of Concerned Women for America (CWA) of Illinois, said “equally as tragic as Mary’s death is the death sentence imposed on people who are enslaved in this deadly behavior.” Yes this bitch compared homosexuality to murder. Hateful. You can email her if you want.

• Thanksgiving is two days away. Have you made your turkey nametags yet? Martha Stewart has that and other gay, gay, gay holiday ideas to check out.

Popmuse’s boyfriend has a new gay food blog. We love gays. We love food. We love Popmuse. So we REALLY love Blog Hungry. Thanks World of Wonder.

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Any good queer has already put to bed his final Thanksgiving menu and has already begun planning the glittery and snow-covered extravaganza of Christmas! And if you are not Christian, Christmas is still fun to celebrate. Think eggnog, presents, and snowman sweaters! These are things everyone should love.

In the past we have gone all out Martha at Christmas, putting out our Poinsettias, stringing pearls on our fresh tree, and roasting both a ham and a turkey. This year we are going modern and kitsch. And you should too.

The tinsel tree is a fun, fagtastic way to make any home a happy one for the holidays. You do not have to water them and if you hate the color green you are in luck! Tinsel trees come in the gayest colors: gold, silver, pink, baby blue, and orange!

Many kitsch specialty shops in your town will carry these guys. eBay also has a huge selection. Our pick is West Elm’s 5 foot silver tree. It is the perfect size and looks great with a color scheme of two or three colors. We’re doing pink and green. But really any color would work. These trees are so fabulous that even a colorblind queen could do no wrong.

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• First Arrested Development. Now no more Martha! We are mourning our favorite shows today.

• Claims are being made out of Britain that a man who once tested positive for HIV is now negative. He refuses to further testing.

• An interview in the new Next states that as many as “40 to 45 percent of gay men in lower Manhattan under 40 are HIV-positive.” Holy shit. Via BitchLess Blog.

Sprite sent us a quick note about our Morning Goods today. “Boys, I'm sure I'm like the millionth fag to alert you, but you're Morning Goods boy Clinton Huff is one of the "straight boys" on AmateurStraightGuys.com. I know my porn and trust me, I've seen him in like 5 videos there. He's Trevor over there." Time to sign up for a membership!

• Straight women feel the same way as us about Madge. And for pretty much the same reasons.

We don’t know that every farmed animal is treated as badly as those seen in Martha Stewart’s PETA flick; but that even one animal should be skinned alive and then left to Fendi for itself is one too many. Martha was not the first gay-icon diva to get wise to fur madness; go here to see a progression of Barbra Streisand’s coats, the earlier models from real, presumably tortured animals, the last, pictured here, a specimen of faux finery.

Bab's Coat

We aren’t quite sure what to tell you about leather shoes, clothes and accessories. The softer the leather, the younger the animal exploited to procure it. The very softest leather is obtained from the fetuses of slaughtered animals. Alligator, crocodile, ostrich, python, and cobra are all skinned for the luxury market, and if there’s anything Queerty doesn’t want seen treated inhumanely, it’s snakes.

You want to be especially careful what you’re killing these days because of the trend towards trans-speciesism. But you don’t necessarily want to go overboard, advocating violence against dairy farmers. For a gay old time, you could order a pair of fake fur handcuffs.



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