We hope you haven't eaten your breakfast, readers, because this is revolting, even for us. Mike Jones, the whore who took down Evangelical leader Ted Haggard, once claimed to have had relations with toilet trolling Senator Larry Craig.

Though many months have passed since that story hit the big time, Michelangelo Signorile's reliving the nightmarish details with this:

…Did you know that, according to former male escort and Ted Haggard exposer Mike Jones, Senator Larry Craig, co-sponsor of the all-new Marriage Protection Act, put his tongue up Jones' butt hole and gave him a Senate-class rim job?

Yes, that's what Mike Jones told me several months back when he came on the show, and he hadn't said it in any other media outlet as far as I know — or rather, he tried, but they just didn't want to report it….Cocksucking was enough; they drew the line at analingus.
…
I realized at the time that this was a wet and juicy scoop of sorts, but I sat on it, for reasons I don't really know.

Great. Now we're officially sterile.

Meanwhile, an Idaho-based button manufacturer accidentally printed a picture of Craig alongside Barack Obama. The campaign materials were meant for Democrat Larry LaRocco, who's running for Senate. Craig, of course, isn't running due to his sex sting arrest last year…

PS: Signorile has audio of Jones' butt eating allegations. Give it a listen, if you dare.

Fallen Evangelical leader Ted Haggard keeps finding himself in the news!

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Colorado Springs' most famous stain has reappeared!

Ted Haggard spent years damning homosexuality from his pulpit at New Life Church, but found himself ousted after rent boy Mike Jones outed him as a meth-smoking homo. The disgraced Haggard soon moved to Arizona, where he and his family vowed to work through their very public problems. Well, now he's back, but not to his old tricks.

Under a severance deal that Ted Haggard reached with the church in 2006, he agreed to leave Colorado Springs and not talk about the scandal publicly. The deal expired at the end of 2007. New pastor Brady Boyd said Haggard was now free to live where he wanted and has returned to Colorado Springs.

"They have moved back and they live in the original house that they lived in for many years," Boyd said of Haggard and his wife, Gayle.

Haggard answered the telephone at his Colorado Springs telephone number on Sunday and confirmed he was in the city but said he couldn't talk to reporters.

Well that's a damn shame. We'd love to hear how his "degayification" process went!

The story December's Colorado church shootings continues - and it's getting pretty queer, like reformed rent boy Mike Jones' book:

The killer who gunned down four people last month at a church in Colorado Springs and a youth mission in Arvada, wrote a letter addressed "To God" that was recovered along with other items from his car.
…
The note to God was found in the rear passenger seat, along with two books: I Had to Say Something, by Mike Jones, and Serial Murderers and Their Victims, by Eric W. Hickey, according to the invoice.

The Jones book is an expose about his experience as a male prostitute and his sexual encounters with former New Life pastor Ted Haggard. Jones' revelations led to Haggard leaving the church.

Well this should do wonders for sales!

Ted Haggard's former rent boy Mike Jones found himself in the spotlight once again this week. Jones joined a number of other men in recounting their sexual encounters with toilet trolling Senator Larry Craig. While Mike Rogers may remain suspicious, Jones insists he'd put his "credibility" up against Craig's. An even match, we're sure:

I'll put my credibility up against Larry Craig's. Here's a man that doesn't know the difference between innocence and guilty…I think people know he's been a liar.

And more than a liar, so much in denial.

It may seem a bit suspicious that Jones would have carnal connections with two of the biggest scandals of the past two years, but that's just his style:

It's not like these are the only two high-profile guys I saw. But I've never heard the others speak ill about the homosexual community or about being gay, so I have no reason to say anything about them.

At least we can be sure Jones won't pop his head into the Trent Lott scandal…

Senator Larry Craig's "heterosexuality" took another hit this weekend.

The Idaho Statesman published explicit audio recordings from five of Craig's alleged lovers, including familiar faces David Phillips and Mike Jones…

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We never thought we'd see the day! Reformed hooker Mike Jones doesn't want to do an interview. Jones simply wouldn't shut his mouth after outing Evangelical leader Ted Haggard - he even released a book about the affair.

As the Larry Craig scandal continued to unfold last week, Jones hinted that he had relations with Craig, as well. Mike Rogers, the blogger who's been dogging Craig since the beginning, called Jones out.

And now Jones has gone mysteriously silent.

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• South Korean soccer fans decided to turn themselves into human light emitting diodes. It's incredible.

• Harvey Keitel presented Snoop Dogg with his Hip-Hop Honor, saying: "There really is no artist in any discipline, any of the arts, that I would rather give an award to. Your work effects the way young people think. I can’t think of a better honor than that. You deserve it.” There you have it: all artists should stop what they're doing. Snoop's way better than you in every single way.

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Damn, girl! Super homo-journo Mike Rogers called The Bulldog Bill Feingold Show the other night to get to the - um - bottom of Mike Jones' Larry Craig allegations. Jones, who's been following the Craig scandal for over a year, thinks Jones made the whole thing up. Here's our favorite part:

Rogers: You've intimated tonight that you've had sex with him…I'm the guy who first reported on him in October of 2006, and I'm the guy that's been all over the media about Larry Craig…and I'm ready to ask you…You've said the guy's a hypocrite. You have acknowledged for the American people the value in doing this for hypocrites and I applaud you for what you did…and you've acknowledged that Larry Craig is a hypocrite… So let's let it out: Did you do him, or not?"

Jones: I don't know who you are.

Rogers: You didn't sleep with Larry Craig and I think what you're doing is, you're trying to get some juice here, Mike, for the book…If you did, you would've put out the proof.

Read the rest of the exchange at PageOneQ.

Listen to the audio right here:

We just told you Ted Haggard hooker Mike Jones says Larry Craig paid him a visit.

Here's the video.

It's a small world for closeted Republicans. Mike Jones, the escort who famously hooked Ted Haggard up with sex and drugs, says that Larry Craig contracted his unique services. Jones appeared dropped the bombshell during a Palm Springs radio interview Wednesday:

Management for the radio station says Jones told them he would reveal something about Idaho Senator Larry Craig on the Bulldog Bill Feingold Show.

While he hesitated doing so on the air, a NewsChannel 3 camera was rolling when he made the accusation during a commercial break.

Feingold asked whether the Senator had seen Jones in a hotel room.

Jones responded, "No, he came to see me."

Jones then added, "His travel records to Denver have been documented. That's what I wanted to say."

NewsChannel 3 asked Senator Craig's office to comment on the allegations that Craig came to Denver to see Jones, who calls himself a gay escort.

Craig's office said in response, "Mike Jones' allegations are completely false."

We're torn. Half of Queerty think Jones can't tell a lie, but the other half smells "bullshit". We all agree on one thing: Jones is a whore. A media whore, of course.

Ted Haggard thinks he can pull the wool over his former flock's eyes.

After being pushed from the pulpit for his gay, drug-fueled affair with reformed hooker, Mike Jones, the Evangelical and his poor family plan to set up shop in Phoenix.

From the way Haggard tells it, the move's putting a bit of strain on his wallet. And he needs a little help from his friends.

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Mike Jones' life lessons landed him a spot in a new play, Porridge. Premiering at the Boulder International Fringe Festival, the play, penned by Brian Bauman, concerns three marines who "go AWOL after being exposed to friendly-fire nerve gas in an all-base orgy." How…interesting.

While Jones didn't get exposed to nerve gas, he did land some marines back in his hooking days, which came to an end after he outed Evangelical leader Ted Haggard.

It's Jones' book, I Had To Say Something: The Art of Ted Haggard's Fall, which recalls his fling with the ousted holy hypocrite, that really grabbed Bauman's - um - eye.

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Mikes Jones just can't shake that whole reformed hooker thing. No surprise, then, Willamette Week journo Byron Beck asked Jones, who took down former Evangelical demigod Ted Haggard, for a massage-cum-interview.

A real trooper, Jones agreed. He even took his shirt off for old time's sake. Despite his strong man body, however, Jones insists broken boy. Beck recalls their intimate encounter:

As he pawed at my back, I felt he was trying to pick a scab. "I'm 50 years old and lost. I'd love to get massaged for a change instead of massaging everyone else. But, for the most part, sex bores me." This from a man who continued to touch my ass every time I asked a hard question. "My body's been my calling card, but it's also been a curse because people just use you and throw you away when they're done playing with you. There's more to Mike Jones than just that part."

Well, to be fair, you were selling your body. If they had tried to take your heart, you'd be dead. And then Ted Haggard never would have experienced true love.

So, how does Beck describe the massage? "It really sucked." Another potential post-scandal career down the drain…

It's been a while since we checked in with hooker and Ted Haggard taker downer, Mike Jones.

As you may recall, Jones spent three years servicing the since-disgraced Evangelical leader. Now that Haggard's been outed - and rehabbed - Jones continues to ride the scandalous wave to promote his tell-all, I Had To Say Something.

The publicity train recently took him over to those sex-aholics over at Nerve, where Jones offers some more details of his fling with Teddy Boy.

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