Proper nail grooming is too frequently overlooked by homosexuals. That it’s also overlooked by heterosexuals is no excuse. Just a few minutes of daily attention can make the difference between your being a suave cosmopolite or a chewed-up, white vertical lines disgrace.

Regularly consuming a balanced diet is fundamental to nail health. Beyond that, a weekly manicure will help keep your hands looking their best. Debate rages over whether cuticles should be trimmed; however you may feel about that question, massaging a good cuticle oil into yours daily will help keep them properly hydrated.

When filing your nails, work from the side to the center, not in a see-saw motion, as see-sawing promotes nail splitting. If your nails are correctly filed, they will not snag when you run them across a pair of pantyhose. For cleaning, you should have a quality nail brush, such as Crabtree and Evelyn’s olive wood model, while for filing you could do worse than 14-karat gold. To the extent possible, moisturize with a nutritive nail cream after washing your hands. Remember, when your relatives gasp and say “Your hands look gay!” tell them you learned everything you know at Queerty.com.

Okay. If you're gonna' get an infection, it may as well be from a great Friday night, and not from a manicure. Next time you head out to get those man-claws buffed out, bring your own tools. We love the Cutie Kit. It's cheap, easy to carry, and, well, cute.

"Four years ago, after visiting her favorite nail salon, Cutie Kit co-creator Valerie Moizel-Hatton contracted a small infection from unsanitary salon tools. Within one month, her nail had fallen off. Rather than swear off manicures and pedicures, she started bringing her own set of tools to the salon. It wasn't long afterward, during another nail appointment, that Valerie met Laurie Shiers, a young woman with a similar experience. They shared their stories, and the inspiration for Cutiekit was born"

Each kit comes with all the tools your technician will need to keep you prim and proper: nail clippers, a file, a buffer, toe separators (you paid too much for those flip-flops to have fugly feet) and a pumice sponge.

Think of it as a condom for your nails.