Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard, Lee Weaver, sure has some loose lips. In addition to blowing up Lohan's 10-hour blowfest with Nicole Ritchie, the 48-year old hulk alleges Lil' Lilo got down with the ladies:

She used boys for drugs and girls for thrills. I lost count of the women she took back to her hotel room from clubs. I even saw her try to grope Mariah Carey’s bottom and boobs one night as they danced. One time I went to look for her in a club bathroom and found her in the corner French-kissing a girl.

Lost count of the women she brought back to her hotel room? Hmm, that's a bit nebulous. She could have just been snorting lines with them. Or, if we can inject some more explicit lesbian fantasy, she snorted circles of coke off her trick's titties, suckled said titties, went on downtown and munched that carpet like she had lost a gram.

Hopefully Samantha Ronson's not the jealous type.

We know it's hard to believe, but Paris Hilton's not as well-behaved as you thought. Exhibit A: This video of her dancing around somewhere, yelling "faggot" and
"nigger". Oops, sorry, "The New F-Word" and "The Classic N-Word". SO does this make her both a homophobe and a racist? Maybe. We have a feeling she's probably a little more of one than the other. We'll let you decide which - although, we have to point out that her feud with Nicole Ritchie allegedly started after Paris called her a nigger. Oh, wait, sorry, the six letter racial epithet that starts with n and ends with igger.

We have to admit, we expected more from Ms. Hilton - a rich girl like that surely knows plenty of other malicious monikers. She must have been really drunk.

It looks like the two stars of The Simple Life have finally gotten sick of squirting cow's milk all over themselves and saying "fuck" to little kids. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie have now reportedly planned a very fancy commitment ceremony for the lesbian couple with whom they were staying throughout the taping of the latest season of their not-really-a-hit-anymore show.

The lack of details makes us suspicious that the story could just be a rumor, but what an excellent season finale it would be. It might even be enough to make us flip over to E! for the first time since the 90s.

Paris and Nicole plan lesbian wedding [PinkNews]

• Blondie, the New Wave band lead by Debbie Harry, is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Madonna and Gwen owe a lot to her. So if you are gay and not familiar, you need to run to iTunes and download Parallel Lines, now.

• Blogasm took the time to interview Bradford. Yes, he talks about masturbation.

• "We came up with a new idea that we said we would get married the day that gays and lesbians can get married. The day that law is passed, we'll get married" — Charlize Theron, regarding her boyfriend Stuart Townsend on Extra. Now, we can forgive her for the bore that was North Country. Thanks Brian. Via her and her.

• You queens can rest easy. The Simple Life is returning to television. Now if only E! would pick up The Comeback.

• Michael Lucas on the stupidity of Jake Gyllenhaal. Classic.

We are more sad about the cancellation of The Simple Life then we were when our last boyfriend dumped us. Since we heard the news, we have cried and eaten more Bons Bons than humanly possible. At least we still have America's Next Top Model.

No gay man should love a woman the way we love Paris Hilton.

• We're scratching our heads on this one. So gay guys in Hong Kong under 21 who are caught having sex go straight to the slammer? Isn't that sort of like handing a lush the keys to the liquor cabinet?

• Paris and Nicole are looking for a few good lesbos. (via Defamer)

• Upstate New York television sets just got a whole lot gayer.

• Madge sings about Kabbalah on her new album. The song's titled "Isaac," not "Esther."

• R.I.P. Leo Sternbach, creator of Valium and the man responsible for sending countless celebrities to the Betty Ford Clinic. Somewhere Liza Minnelli is lighting a candle. (Thanks, Thomas)